


Bitter Stars, Bitter Dreams

by Kukki90



Series: The HBG Chronicles [1]
Category: 9GOATS BLACK OUT, Bandom, Buck tick, Creature Creature, Dir en grey, Girugamesh, Jrock, Kami Band, MEJIBRAY, MUCC, Real Person Fiction, Sid - Fandom, Umbrella - Fandom, gazette
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Bandom - Freeform, Crime, Dominance, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, Finger Fucking, Fluff, Infidelity, Intoxication, Jrock - Freeform, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Propsal, Mental Health Issues, Music, Musicians, Oral Sex, Plot, Porn, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Secrets, Self Esteem Issues, Stalking, Submission, Tension, Violence, non-consensual/rape, porn with feeling, real person fiction - Freeform, virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-10 05:49:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 39
Words: 117,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12292599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kukki90/pseuds/Kukki90
Summary: This work is not time specific, there are no coordinating years to go with this work. I have chosen to alter a main characters appearance, Koichi is approx 5'5", thin build, delicate. I do not know these people, I have no connection to Danger Crue Records. This is 100% fiction.AN: This is my first fic, and it is riddled with typo's. I plan on going through and fixing it, so please understand.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is not time specific, there are no coordinating years to go with this work. I have chosen to alter a main characters appearance, Koichi is approx 5'5", thin build, delicate. I do not know these people, I have no connection to Danger Crue Records. This is 100% fiction.
> 
> AN: This is my first fic, and it is riddled with typo's. I plan on going through and fixing it, so please understand.

       Chapter 1

            “Would you please GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” Taka screamed at his older sister! “Shit, there is nothing in here that you’d want…GO AWAY!”

            “I’m looking for that black shirt that mysteriously disappeared the same night you went to that club with your goofy assed friends” Hina just knew, Taka had taken it, he had always wanted to borrow it, but had gone too far taking, it without asking.

            “I don’t have your stupid fucking shirt! I don’t know where it is, and I don’t give a shit, just leave me the hell alone!” God, his sister could be a pain in the ass. Taka had not taken the shirt although he did wear it once, but this time, Hina had misplaced it not him.  This was just another reason that Taka, HAD to move out of his parent’s home. He just couldn’t stand living there anymore, he had no privacy, no room and an annoying older sister that his parents openly favored.  In reverse, Taka was the family’s black sheep, literally. Long black hair down to the middle of his back and black fingernail polish, Taka wore clothes that didn’t fit the image of a successful college student. Fuck them, that was always what he said to himself. They can’t force me into doing what they want, they can’t mold me into a clone of my father. _Just leave me alone._

            He made himself scarce at home, choosing instead to go to Karaoke bars, nightclubs and internet cafes. Tokyo was a big city and he was certain he’d find some place to live soon.  Living in the dorms at school had been a huge disaster so Taka had been looking around at the message boards at his college, looking for roommates, with rooms to be rented out, but nothing had popped up right away. He had been taking bullshit classes, not knowing what he wanted to do with his life, which of course pissed his parents off to no end.  Taka had also gotten a part time job working in the evenings at the High Ball Garden, or  the HBG, as the locals called it.  The small bar sat at the base of the Tokyo Tower. His parents didn’t really consider this a job, more like just something to do. They pressed him, always complaining that he wasn’t really working because he didn’t wear a suit to work.

            After six months, Taka finally came across a single room unit not in the best part of town, but close enough to a station for an easy commute. The flat was dark, smelled old and musty, with a cheap ass two burner stove and a bathtub the size of a laundry basket, but Taka couldn’t be happier, he was finally alone.  Away from his pushy parents and his annoying older sister, he was a free man and damn it felt amazing.

            College had been fun so far, he had had some dates, nothing serious, but then when you dated other men you had to keep it private, it was unwise for that information to become public. For Taka, this was difficult, he was friendly and outgoing and craved attention. There was a short relationship with an older man, but it ended badly, so he had decided to stick with the college life.  It was a mid-week night that a bunch of girls cornered him in his History class, and begged him to come to a mixer, they were a few guys short and asked him to bring anyone else he knew. Taka agreed, though he told the girls he was working, and would arrive a little late.  This should be fun, shit, what could go wrong? Maybe a girl trying to get him to go out… well not like I’ve never handled that before. Taka had no way of knowing that being a little late would change his life.

_~~_

            Koichi needed to get away; away from his parents and their constant interference and badgering him about what he was going to do with his life, he needed to get away from his small town where there were zero opportunities for anything, away from his boring life, anything would be better than how he was living at the time. After high school, Koichi went against his parent’s wishes of him working with his father, instead choosing to go to university in Tokyo. This decision had angered his parents enough, that they did not speak to Koichi after he left their home. Koichi accepted that fact and moved to Tokyo, with plans of starting his new life there. Well, that’s what he planned…plans that usually change in an instant, and when you’re least expecting it.

            College life was better than life at home, even if it was difficult making friends, as Koichi was terribly shy, and was embarrassed easily when people tried to talk to him, but he put himself out there, at least trying to be friendly. By the end of his first semester Koichi had finally made a few friends, mostly girls, they all thought he was so cute with his long pink hair and thought his shyness was adorable, although Koichi wasn’t interested in girls, he never said anything to anyone. It was easier that way, flying under the radar so that there was no way to get hurt by rejection or ridicule. Living in the dorms was brutal, surrounded by guys, that would be naked in the shower, walk the halls in their underwear, it was hell for Koichi. He had known since high school that he was more attracted to men than women, but he had never acted on it. Sure, he had fantasies, what man or woman doesn’t? He kept quiet, made sure he was equally friendly with both guys and girls.  

            When a few girls from his math class came up with the plan for the mixer, they came to Koichi and told him that they needed another guy to make the party even. He was nervous, he’d never been to one, and wasn’t sure how they worked but decided to give it a try, figuring it was an easy way to meet people. When he arrived at the Karaoke bar, there were already several people there, and the drinking had begun. As the night went on, more alcohol was consumed, resulting in crazier singing, which Koichi avoided, as he knew that would be a disaster, trying to stand up in front of people he didn’t know and sing. He sat quietly at the end of the couch, not really saying much, talking to a few people and laughing with everyone after some epic fails by the others at singing. Koichi noticed one particular guy that was watching him, but not in a friendly manner, and it was creeping him out. The guy kept saying odd things to Koichi, and finally moved closer, sitting right next to him.

            “Um, hey sweet boy, you’re pretty cute…let’s get out of here.”

            “Uh, no, I don’t want to leave, I’m having fun, thanks though.” Koichi was shaking inside.

            “Don’t be so stuck up. You think you’re that good, that pretty?” It was obvious that the guy was shit faced drunk. Koichi was getting scared. 

            Koichi tried to ignore him, and kept talking to a girl that was sitting next to him hoping that the guy would just go away. He startled when he felt a hand on his thigh. Koichi gasped and jerked away, but didn’t say anything to anyone else. As the party was winding down, Koichi got up and said his goodbyes, deciding to duck out a bit early. He just wanted to get away from the creep that was hounding him. As Koichi was walking out the door, the guy grabbed his wrist.

            “Hey, let’s go get some drinks together, right?”

            “Uh, no thank you, I’m going home.” As Koichi pulled his wrist away.

            “Oh, I’m sure I’ll see you again.” The guy was staring at Koichi with sadistically predatory eyes.

            Koichi left the party and walked down the street towards the train station. Just as he walked past a konbini, he was grabbed and dragged around a corner, slammed against the wall hard.

            “So, you’re too good for me?” It was the creep from the party.  “Leave me alone!” Koichi was scared. _This guy is going to hurt me…shit! Why did I leave alone_?

            “You’re so pretty, I just want to fuck you into the wall.” growled the creep.

            He mashed his mouth against Koichi’s and grabbed him by the crotch, trying to shove his hand down Koichi’s pants. Koichi was fighting back but the creep was bigger and stronger.

            “FUCK OFF LEAVE ME ALONE!!!” Koichi was screaming, hoping someone would hear him. _Shit, this is it, he’s going to rape me, fuck…why me?_

            “Come on pretty boy, let’s have some fun.” He grabbed Koichi by the throat, slamming his head into the brick wall. Koichi’s vision blurred with the pain, he felt a warm stickiness flowing down the back of his head. The creep had almost gotten Koichi’s pants undone, when suddenly he stepped back, rather he was pulled back, almost on his ass.

            “What the FUCK?” the creep yelled. Koichi didn’t wait to find out what’s going on. Koichi grabbed the front of his pants and took off running, not stopping for a good fifteen minutes. He felt the back of his head, his hand coming away with thick blood and a few hairs. When he had finally stopped running, he found himself at a local park, wandering around until he ended up on the swings, trying to figure out what he’d done wrong. Did he give the guy mixed signals? What the fuck? Hot tears fell, his eyes blurred by pain, just sitting there not knowing what to do. Where did the guy go? Who pulled him off me?

            “Hey, are you…um, okay?” Koichi looked up. A tall boy with long black hair stood before him.  Koichi scrambled back on the swing, getting ready to run.

            “Woah…hey! I’m not going to hurt you! That guy is gone, left with a busted nose too.” The boy squatted down in front of Koichi.

            “My name is Taka… and you are?” He smiled at Koichi, trying to be non-threatening as possible.

            “Why? I mean…why did you do that? You don’t know me.”

            “Doesn’t matter if I don’t know you, I would have done that for anyone. But I saw the way that guy was harassing you at the party, it just didn’t feel right, you know?” Taka sat down in the sand.

            “You…you were at the party? I didn’t see you there.” Koichi was suspicious,

            “I came in when…um…what’s her name? The girl with the dark red hair? Rumi! Rumi was singing, badly I might add.” Taka was laughing.

            _Hm. Okay, he was there, but how come I didn’t see him?_

            “I was sitting with Rumi and her friends, you were sitting over in the corner next to some girl with blue streaks in her hair. You were leaning hard into that girl, which I thought meant you liked her, then I saw that creepy guy whisper something to you. Your reaction was enough to tell me to watch him, I could tell he was an asshole.” Taka was trying to convince Koichi that he was a good guy, not another creeper.

            “So, when you left, I figured that was the end of it. But that guy got up right away and I just had a shitty feeling.  I followed him, but obviously, I didn’t get there fast enough, I’m sorry you got hurt, that’s partly my fault.”

            “Oh God! Don’t say that! None of this is your fault, you saved me! I’m sorry I ran off, I just wanted to get the hell away from him.” Koichi was crying softly.

            _Fuck, this kid is burnt, he thinks this is his fault…shit, I need to fix this. Fuck, he’s beautiful!_

            “Do you need to go to medical or something for your head? I can see it’s bleeding, you might need stitches. I’ll go with you if you want.” _Please let me do something for you._

            “I’m okay, it’s really nothing. I just really want to go home.” _Should I ask him to walk me to the station?_   “Um… could you just walk with me to the train station? Unless you have someplace else, then never mind, I can go by myself.”

            “Nope, you’re not going anywhere by yourself! That’s what friends are for, to watch out for each other. But…uh…you never told me your name, kinda have to know your name before we can officially be friends.” Taka teased.

            “Oh, shit! Sorry…um, my name is Koichi, nice to meet you…Taka.” _He wants to be friends with me?_

            “Cool, so now we’re friends…right? Not strangers, but friends.” Taka’s smile lit up brighter than a birthday cake.

            They started walking towards the train station, talking about unimportant things, laughing when they found out they went to the same University, having never run into each other before tonight. Taka talked about his job at the High Ball Garden, which sat at the base of Tokyo Tower. He told stories about some of the famous people he had seen there, some of them not so famous.

            “I saw Kamijo from Versailles one night, I didn’t talk to him of course, he’s a rock star.” Taka had put up air quotes, which sent Koichi into the giggles. _Shit… that laugh…holy crap, this is bad! I wonder if Koichi is dating anyone? Fuck._

            “Must be cool…I mean working at a place like that. I’ve only worked at the cafeteria at school, which is super lame and doesn’t pay shit!”

            “Well, maybe you could apply? I mean…my boss is always looking for help, the turn-over is really high for some reason.” _Please say yes, please say yes._

            “Uh…sure, I’ll think about it, sounds like fun.”

 _YES!_ Taka jumped inside. _Now how can I find out if he’s really into guys or not? Shit, after tonight, I doubt he’s into anyone._

            They arrived at the train station, and exchanged phone numbers and class schedules, promising to meet up in between classes. Koichi left with a hope of finally having a close friend, Taka left with the hope of finally finding _the one._

             Taka and Koichi started meeting up at school, in between classes, going to the arcades and shopping on the weekends, they discovered that they liked the same kind of music, and loved going to concerts. Taka found himself extremely attracted to Koichi, but never said anything, he was afraid of the reaction Koichi would have, considering he still suffered from a little trauma from the assault.

             Taka was satisfied with this, at least for the time being.  He was never sure if he could ever confess to Koichi, but would rather have him as a friend than not have him at all. Koichi lived alone in a tiny flat that had only one room, a tiny kitchen and an even tinier bathroom. Living alone did have its perks. No roommate to barge in unexpectedly, no messes to clean up that were not his and no waiting for a hot shower. His flat was just slightly nicer than Taka’s, but they both were lucky not to have any roommates, which Taka saw as a bonus, for if in the future he ever decided to confess to Koichi, there would be less hassle with no roommates to bother them, more privacy, more intimacy. Taka didn’t have high hopes for that to ever happen, but if it ever did, he’d be ready.

            Taka had encouraged Koichi to apply for a position at the High Ball Garden, where he worked, and was hired with a glowing recommendation from Taka. Koichi had some problems at the beginning, due to his being super shy and quiet, but with Taka’s help, he at least got better talking to customers and making the popular High Ball cocktail. Taka had been right about the various famous/not famous people that would show up at the HBG; Royz, Asian Kung Fu Generation and members from various other bands were known to show up, especially on Friday and Saturday nights, which were the busy hours.

             In the summer, the HBG was extremely busy as summers in Tokyo tended to be long, hot and humid, so business at the HBG was booming. Taka and Koichi usually worked the same shifts together, so the friendship grew tight quickly. Taka still did not confess to Koichi, keeping his feelings to himself.  Life was moving along just fine for them both, but that was going to change drastically for them, all because of a few girls on a train.

  Koichi  Taka

                                                  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, this is a little better, I'm trying at least.

                                                                                                      Chapter Two

            Riding the train into work, Koichi was in the last car, slouched down in his seat, pretending to read a manga, but really he was eavesdropping on a conversation between two high school girls, who were excited over a band. All he could really hear is how much the girls liked the band and that the singer was ‘fucking hot as hell’. Koichi didn’t want to ask about them band, so he pretended to be reading a manga and just listened. Peeking over the top of his manga, he was hoping to catch the name of this band.

            “I saw them at Grandcube in Osaka and at Club G a few months ago. Freaking Tatsu is hot and well, all the other guys are hot too, but there’s something about Tatsu. I love how they can go from like, goth to industrial to something you’d hear at a dance club.”

            The two girls went on and on about how hot the band members describing what they were wearing, a typical fangirl conversation. What had intrigued Koichi was the unique styles that this band apparently had, the crossover genres, sounded impressive. He listened to see if they mentioned the name of the band, which they didn’t, so he decided to ask.

            Koichi hesitated, “Hi, um…I heard you talking, what’s the band called? They sound interesting.”

            The girls looked at Koichi and giggled, “They’re called Mucc, and they’re fucking fantastic!”

            “Oh okay, thank you.” Both girls started to giggle again, hiding behind their hands.

            Koichi got off the train at his stop, walking by the girls he nodded, they both giggled again. As he as walking to work he wrote down the name of the band and decided to look them up after work. He had thought to call Taka and tell him about the band, but he wanted to watch them first just in case they were horrible, that way Taka couldn’t poke fun at him. Of course, because he wanted to do something after work, the day dragged on, finally grinding to a halt around 11pm, Koichi didn’t get off until 1am, so he made the best of it, got the HBG cleaned up and left at exactly on time. It was still a thirty-minute walk home, as no trains ran that late.

~~~

            Koichi got home, took off his uniform and put on some track pants and a t-shirt. Grabbing a beer and some chips, he sat on his bed with his laptop and searched for Mucc. He chose a video, ‘Ware Arubeki Basho’, slipped his headphones on and waited.

            “Woah…that’s fucking intense…creepy…” _But I like it_. Koichi then went through more videos; _Ender, Ender. Joker, Tonight, Nirvana, Fuzz._  After 20 videos, Koichi was dazed, hot, confused, his skin coated with a thin blanket of sweat. He went back to watch the _Tonight_ video, and again, watched it a few more times.

            “Oh, god, you’re so beautiful…why?” He threw himself back on the bed.

            _What the hell is this? This guy is… oh holy….!_

            Koichi was rocked to his core, and bothered by his reaction…his body’s reaction to what he had watched. His cock was twitching uncomfortably, his breathing shallow. All because of a singer in a video? This can’t…

            He started searching online for pictures, information, anything he could find on Mucc and the singer, who he found out his name was Tatsuro. He looked up and it was 4am, he had spent three hours looking at this beautiful creature, this wonderful being that made him hard, excited and short of breath. Groaning, he finally shut down his computer and tried to sleep, but with visions of Tatsuro, it was a restless night.

~~

            Friday afternoon, Koichi arrived at work, looking like hell.  

            “Damn Kou! You look like shit”.  Taka was shocked.

            Taka had come up from behind and slung his arm around the smaller man’s shoulder. “What the hell were you doing last night? Video games or porn?” Taka said smugly.

            “I was just watching videos of this band I heard about and no, porn was not involved.” Koichi commented, trying hard not to blush.

            “Must be a hell of a band for you to come to work looking like death warmed over. What band is it?”

            “They’re called Mucc. Some girls were talking about them on the train.” He said quietly.

            “Doesn’t their singer have long straight black hair?” Taka asked.

            “Yah, that’s the band”, Koichi replied trying hard not to think about Tatsuro.

            “My older sister Hina likes them a lot, she said I wouldn’t like them, not my style, whatever the hell that means.” Taka quipped.

            Koichi smiled inwardly. _Thank god, he doesn’t know them_.

            By the end of his shift that night, Koichi could barely drag himself home. He threw himself down on his bed, face first, believing that sleep would take him quickly. But Koichi’s mind would not stop, could not stop the visions of Tatsuro, the long lean lines of a masculine frame, imagined length of stiffed cock. Tatsuro, hot, and sinful, his dark eyes, the way he moved, the long silken hair and the voice, like the songs of demons and angels blended. Beautiful and frightening at the same time, Tatsuro’s voice evoked dangerous emotions, so volatile and guttural yet so enticing that it could not be ignored.

            The singer had left him feeling more than just aroused, his groin was starting to twitch. Koichi was getting aroused as he watched the videos, Koichi tried focus on the other members, but his eyes kept coming back to Tatsuro. He could not stop watching, staring, absorbing the feel of the singer, it was that feeling that overtook him once again.

            Koichi got up and stripped off his clothes and grabbed some lube from his dresser. He reached over and grabbed his laptop and head phones. His nervousness blended with his arousal, the anticipation of watching Tatsuro again, his length grew stiff quickly. By the end of the first video, Koichi was nearing his limit, he was so close, so fucking hot. The last video just pushed Koichi over the edge.

            “Nnnghh…” Koichi groaned. “Fuck…mmmm…!” Releasing his seed all over his chest, some of it reaching his hair, he had never cum that hard before, it left him breathless. Koichi looks at the video and smiled, all for about 30 seconds.

            “Fuck” Koichi sighed. “How can a fucking video make me that fucking horny and cum that hard?” He wondered if he was some sort of sex freak? _Who does shit like this, he thought. Jerking off to a music video? God that’s just fucking lame. People watch porn, and jerk off, but music videos?_

            “Shit, if anyone found out…” He sat on the end of his bed, head in his hands, silently vowing not to jerk off to another Mucc video. Koichi was scared, not only of others finding out, but that there might be something wrong with him. He liked men, but this was weird, so, he must be some sort of deviant freak. These thoughts pounding in his head, almost as hard as he had pounded on his cock.  Koichi could not resolve the issue between watching porn and watching a music video, that ended in the same result.

            After he cleaned himself up and his heart rate had returned to normal, Koichi laid in bed starting at the ceiling, not sure what to think, not sure what to do. I can’t be doing this shit, he thought. Oh shit, my friends… Taka! Koichi continued to worry throughout the night. Finally, about 3am, he fell into a restless sleep. He had to be at work the next day, but thankfully not until 5pm. If he could only get through the day, without constantly thinking about Tatsuro, he might survive the weekend.

 

             Between working at the HBG and trying to keep his mind off Tatsuro, he had only slept for a few hours.  Koichi hadn’t seen Taka at work, so Taka knew nothing about how his weekend went. He knew that Taka would sense something was wrong when he showed up to work on Monday night.                                 

            “Dude! Kou, what the hell is wrong with you? You look like absolute shit again!” Taka was worried, Kou had never been like this. “Are you okay? Are you sick?”

            Koichi looked at Taka “No, I’m not sick, but I’m not okay either. I don’t think you can help me with this one Taka, believe me, you wouldn’t want to help me with this. It’s just something I have to work out for myself.” _This would scare Taka away, probably think I would hit on him, probably try to fuck him._

            “Koichi! How can you even say that shit? We’re best friends and you don’t think I can handle it? What the hell? Is it serious? You don’t have like cancer or something, do you?” Taka voice betrayed how much this hurt.   

            He thought for a moment. Did he risk telling Taka, maybe losing him as a friend, was their friendship that strong? Or did he keep it to himself and suffer.  He wasn’t sure what to do.  “No, I don’t have cancer or anything like that, it’s just, I’m not ready to say anything yet, okay? It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, more that I don’t know _how_ to tell you. Koichi looked down at his feet. “I don’t want you to hate me…if I tell you this.”

            “Hate you? Unless you’ve killed someone, or raped someone, I doubt anything you could say would make me hate you, Kou.” _If you only knew how much I love you…_

            Taka was skeptical. “Okay, I’ll trust you on this, you’d better not be lying about being sick, so when you figure it out, you’d better call me!”  _Maybe he’s ready to tell me… what? What would make him this upset?_

Koichi sighed “Okay, I promise. Let’s get to work.” As they returned to their duties, he worried about how the hell he is going to handle this messy situation without risking too much. He just doesn’t know how or what to do, tell his best friend that he was attracted to another man, a rock star at that, or make something up. He had dated girls before, but no one relationship felt right, none that felt satisfying. Maybe that was the problem? But then, Taka never dated much either, but he was always flirting with the girls, but that proves nothing _Shit. What the hell is wrong with me Fuck, I’m an idiot. How the hell am I going to fix this, or is it even fixable?_                              

            Two days later and Koichi had to face Taka, and he didn’t yet have an easy answer to give his friend.  Koichi spent his days off holed up in his flat, laying on the bed trying to form the words to tell Taka about his Tatsuro problem.  “Shit, there’s no straightforward way.” He whispered to himself.

            Koichi was still stressed when Taka knocked on his door.  Koichi freezes, oh shit oh shit oh shit, screams in his brain, shit, I need more time!  He let Taka in.

            “So, what’s the deal Kou?”  Koichi blinks “Uh…” Afraid to say what his problem was.

            He still didn’t have a plan on how to tell Taka. Stalling was the best he could do now. Sitting on the floor in Koichi’s apartment, Taka looks apprehensive. He really is worried about his friend, what the hell is he hiding? Koichi finally looks at Taka.

             Please don’t freak out on me Taka. I’m already freaked out enough myself.”        

            “Um…okay”  

            “So, remember last week I told you about that band, Mucc?” Koichi was staring at lap.

            “Yah, the band my sister likes, what about them?” Taka looks curious.

            “Have you ever seen any of their videos? Heard any of their music?” Koichi asked.

            “No, why?” _What the hell is this all about?_

            “Wait…let me show you” Koichi jumps up and grabs his laptop off the bed.

             “I thought we were going to talk about your issue?” Taka’s confused.  

            “Well, this is part of it, just humor me for a minute”

            Taka raises one eyebrow “Okay, whatever.”

            Koichi thinks for a moment, wondering which Mucc video would be the most effective. He picks the _Ender Ender_ and sits back a little behind Taka.

            Koichi isn’t watching, the last thing he needs is to have a raging hard dick when trying to explain things to Taka.  As the video plays, Taka is nodding to the music, enjoying it. The video ends and he turns to Koichi, “Okay now what?”

            “So, what did you think?” He asks hesitantly.

            “Great band, would like to hear more. Uh, why?” Taka draws out the why.

            “The singer…what do you think of him?” Koichi almost whispers the question.

             “He’s good, has a great look and style.” _He’s hotter than shit, but._ Taka replies “Why? What does he have to do with your problems?”

            Koichi tenses, swallows “Um…would you say he’s…hot?”

            “WHAT??” _Holy shit_! _Did he just ask…_

            Koichi cringes, he knew this was going to happen, he feels the automatic rejection he was afraid of.

            “Okay, Okay, let me think a second.” Taka said, realizing where this was probably going. Koichi is blushing, tears burning behind his eyes, and desperate to get out. There is silence for a good 5 minutes. _I have to handle this carefully, or I’m going to screw up._

            Taka looks at him, “You think that guy is hot…like meaning he’s sexy?” Koichi nods.

            Taka hesitates. He stands up, still looking back and forth between Koichi and the laptop. His mind is running a million miles an hour, trying to sort out what his best friend had just said. _Kou thinks the guy’s sexy? So, that’s the kind of guy he likes? But why has he never looked at me?_

            “Dude, Kou, I’m not sure how to react to this. You’re essentially saying that this guy is like fuckable?”  _Shit! Um…shit_! _Crap, this is really bad. I can’t just ask him if thinks I’m fuckable. Why does his first crush have to be some freaking rock star?_

              _Crap, that’s it, he’ll never speak to me again. I’m going to have to quit my job at HBG, I’m going to be alone…again_. Koichi was struggling to hold back the tears.

            “I don’t really know what to say Kou, it’s a bit of a shock. Uh…well, shit, I don’t have time today to talk this out right now, so I’ll come by tomorrow before work.” Taka walks towards the door, not looking back. “Bye.” _How the hell do I deal with this?_

            “Bye” he whispers.

            The door closes and Koichi falls over onto the floor, letting loose those tears that had been held in.

            “What the fuck have I done?”.

 

                                               

            Taka walked home muttering to himself, replaying the scene at Koichi’s. _He likes men, well I sort of knew that already. But he’s confessed now, so where does that leave me? Do I confess to him? That I want him as a lover? I want him as my boyfriend? How do I make it clear to him how I feel, how I’ve felt since that first night that I dragged that creep off him? He’s going to hate me, I know it, because I’ve lied to him all this time. If I tell him, will it ruin things, is it best to just go with it, blow it off or whatever?_ Taka took a deep breath and walked up to his flat, heavy hearted. He was going to lie about his feelings for his best friend, feelings that he had kept hidden since the first night they met. Once Taka got in bed, the tears flooded his pillow, lulling him into a deep tortured sleep.

 

            Koichi woke up with a massive headache. He looked at the clock; 1:18am, he had cried himself to sleep. He got up, pee’d and washed is face.  Looking in the mirror all he saw were his eyes, swollen and red. He felt like he had the flu, but knowing that there was no medicine that could cure this problem. “I should have kept my stupid mouth shut” he said to the reflection. “should have made something up, fuck I’m an asshole.” He worried if his revelation to Taka would ruin their friendship, he couldn’t blame Taka, with Koichi springing this on him out of the blue.  He decided to take a hot shower, hoping to relieve some of the fogginess in his head.  Standing under the sharp stink of the water, his mind went back to the videos of Tatsuro. He is so beautiful! The way he moved, the sound of his voice, the dark sensuality, just everything about him was perfect to Koichi. His cock started to stiffen ever so slowly. Groaning, Koichi reached down to fondle his balls and slowly started stroking his cock. Visions of Tatsuro, kneeling before him, sucking, playing, teasing his stiffness.

            “Unnghh….” He whined. “Oh, fucck, mmm, harder please” As his fantasy goes into overdrive, it just took a few hard jerks for Koichi to splatter cum all over the shower wall in front of him. Gasping for breath and collapsing from the strength of the orgasm, he fell to his knees. As the tears of guilt became sobs of pure grief, of the possible loss of a close friend and the shame he felt, was one of the last clear thoughts Koichi had as he stumbled back to bed.

            Once morning came, Koichi had no energy to move, he was utterly worn and torn after a night of crying. Restless dreams, nightmares, of rejection and humiliation, had haunted his sleep. He just wanted to curl up and hide, but he knew he had to face Taka later. Until then he then busied himself as much as possible. He almost threw his laptop in the trash, blaming it in a way, for his mountain of a problem. Throwing a computer just because you can’t control yourself was just stupid. Instead he put it under the sink, out of sight, out of mind. He spent the day worrying about everything.

~~

            He was clock watching, not even sure exactly when Taka was coming, if he even would show up. Koichi wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, how could he? Just as he was going to start laundry, he heard Taka knocking on the door.  “Hey” he said, looking at the floor.

            “Hey! We both look like shit today” Taka joked lightly. He hadn’t slept much either. “Yah, we match.” Koichi and Taka sat down at the low table on the floor, looking at each other, both trying to feel the other out.

             “So…” Koichi started.

             “Well, I have to say first, this announcement of yours pretty much blew me out of the water.” Taka said, looking down at the floor. _Be careful_ …

             “Yah…God I’m so sorry Taka, I just should have kept it to myself, I shouldn’t have told you.”

            Taka looked at Koichi. “Really? You think that little of me, you think I’m too weak or not a good enough friend, really Kou?” That pissed him off.

            “Uh...no…I mean...I shouldn’t have burdened you with this, Taka.”

            Taka reached over the table and slapped Koichi across the face, surprising them both.

            “YOU ASSHOLE!!” Taka screamed. “How DARE you think so little of me!! I’ve been one of your only friends since you moved here, and you pull this shit on me?” Taka was livid. “I thought you were my best friend! Best friends don’t hide shit like this from each other.”

            “Uh…I... Taka” Koichi holding his cheek, scrambled away from the table, pushing up against the wall.  

            “Damn Kou! You really fucking piss me off sometimes.” Taka sat down, trying to gain control over himself.   _Well that did it, no going back, might as well leave now_.

            Koichi just stared at Taka, his hand on his cheek, the sting of the slap still burning, tears trying to escape.  “Taka, I know you’ve always been there for me, but…” he stared at Taka. “this thing, this…I don’t even know what it is Taka, I’m scared.”

            “Kou, dude, what are you scared of?” Taka said quietly, finally calming down.  

            “I don’t even know, am I a freak Taka?” The tears started to fall, Koichi searched Taka’s face for some sort of clue, anything.

            “Well, maybe, Kou.”

            “Wha….?” Koichi’s eyes flashed wide.

            “I’m joking Kou... you’re not a freak.” Taka smiled, giving Koichi some hope.

            “So, now what? Where do I go from here, Taka?” Taka thought about a few things, keeping Koichi in suspense.   _The things I could get him to try, maybe try them with me_!

            “Well…” Taka had a sneaky grin on his face. “I have a few ideas, you’ll just have to trust me on this, Kou.” _I’ll make it so you never look at Tatsuro again, I’ll make you mine!_

~~                                                                               

 

            Sitting in a café the next day with Taka, drinking coffee, Taka was trying to help Koichi figure out what he needed to do to remedy this whole issue. “Kou, so you’ve just jerked off to some videos, right?” 

            “SHHSSS!!! …Taka!” Koichi blushed hard, looking around. “Yah…I haven’t done anything else.” 

            “Let’s see, never kissed a guy, never had a blow job…well from a guy that is” Taka was actually writing down a list on a napkin _. I can’t believe I’m doing this, why not me, Kou?_

            “Taka, how the hell am I supposed to do any of this, if I don’t know anyone?" he was concerned. “What if the only guy I can…uh…you know, do any of these things with is Tatsuro? Like that would ever happen.” Rolling his eyes.

            “You never know Kou…it could happen, right place and all that shit.” Taka was trying to sound confident in front of Koichi.  “Ok…What else?” Taka said with his pen in his mouth. “Do you know anyone who’s gay, Kou?”

Koichi thought for a minute. “No, you _?” ME! I’ll do anything you want me to_!

             “Hina might, I could ask her to hook you up.”

            “NO!! DON’T YOU DARE TAKA” Koichi almost screamed, other customers started looking over at them. They both turned to themselves and giggled.

            “Hey, Kou, what about this?” Taka lowered his voice and leaned across the table to Koichi, “Sex toys…you know, vibrators and stuff?” _Really? I just suggested that he gets a damn dildo! Fuck, I’m stupid._

            Koichi thought about it. “How do I get something like that? I’d die before I’d go into one of those stores, even with you. Wait…have you been into a sex store? Oh god Taka!” Koichi hid his face in his hands, shaking his head at the thought of his friend in an actual sex store.

             “Don’t worry Kou, no I’ve never been into a sex store. Why…do you want to go to one with me? Just kidding!” Taka looked around at the other tables, leaning over again, closer to Koichi, “Okay, this might sound sorta creepy, but I know for a fact my sis has a vibrator.”

            “TAKA!! Oh my God, please tell me you’ve never watched her, have you?”

            “Nah, but I have heard her using one. My parent’s house is small with thin walls. I tried not to hear it, believe me.”  Taka had a snarky look on his face.   _I would have loved to throw that in her face_!

            “I wouldn’t even know what to buy, Taka. Think she could suggest something? I could just give you some money to give to her.” Koichi was turning bright red. “Shit, I can’t believe we’re even talking about this! But I wouldn’t want her to know it was for me! That would be super awkward if I saw her.” He was sweating a little.  

            “Okay, here’s what we’ll do, Kou” Taka had a plan in mind.

 

            Two days later, Taka knocked on Koichi’s door, “Hey, what’s up” Koji said to Taka. “I have a little surprise for youuu…” Taka was waving a small paper bag at Koichi.

            “Damn that was quick.” he was eager to see what was in the bag.

            “I explained it to her, that it was for a girl who just broke up with her guy. Of course, she gave me that look that said, ‘yah right’, but bought it for me anyways. Well, she got you this!” Taka opened the bag and pulled out a slim line black vibrator. “Oh, and she got you some sort of special lube too.”

            “Special lube?” Koichi was confused.

            “Yah, not like you can just put it in dry. This lube has some numbing stuff in it. She said it’s great for beginners.” Taka tried to sound all cool about the whole thing.

            “God, this whole thing is so embarrassing, Taka.” Koichi said turning bright red.

            “Hey, what are best friends for?” Taka couldn’t stop laughing.  “Okay Kou, I have to run, I have to work tonight, you know, all that adult type shit. Have fun tonight!” _I want to be the one to use that vibe on you, Damnit!_                   

            Koichi was excited, but a little scared too. Well, what the hell, he thought. Might as well try it! Tonight, after dinner and a few beers, should be a perfect time to try this out. Just to make sure this is what I’m feeling. He had tried to watch some gay porn, but it just grossed him out. Even the prepping the actors did was sorta gross. The men in the videos didn’t come close to Tatsuro, in looks, movements, his dark sexuality, that gorgeous mouth, none of those men could even come close.

            Lights off, curtains closed and the door locked, Koichi wanted no interruptions tonight. He had taken a shower, drank a few beers and washed the vibrator. Feeling more than a little buzzed, he grabbed his laptop from under the sink and he sat down on the bed in just his boxers. He had the new lube and some towels next to the bed, plugging the head phones in and started looking at videos to watch. As he sat on the bed, he wasn’t sure how to …start! He finally decided to watch just one video to start with. At the last minute, he chose not to watch the video, but just to listen to Tatsuro’s voice.

            Laying on the bed with Tatsuro’s voice in his ears, he started to feel a slow burn starting in his groin, his cock started to stiffen and Koichi started to stroke himself, ever so slowly, waiting for the buildup. His cock was getting hard rapidly, he had to stop before he pushed himself over the edge. He stopped stroking his cock, and slipped his boxers off, and laid with his legs spread wide. Reaching for the lube he squirted a hefty amount in one hand and returned to gently, slowly rubbing his stiffness. Tugging on his cock, squeezing his balls, Koichi’s finger started to creep toward the tight virgin hole, gently rubbing the outside ring, “oh shit”, he groaned. With just a slight nudge, he pushed his finger into his ass for the first time.

            “Oh god, ahhhh…” Koichi could not believe how fucking fantastic it felt with just one finger in his ass. He reached over to grab more lube, wanting to add another digit. After a few minutes, he slid another finger in. Pushing the fingers in and out, his cock started to throb painfully, wanting to release, waiting for the end, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold back. His fingers brushed up against his prostrate, sending sparks of white in his brain, listening to Tatsuro’s voice was quickly driving him to struggle with control, and finally he gave into the madness.

            “Fuck it!! I can’t…uhnnnggnnn” he started yank his cock with one hand while fucking his hole with his fingers, as the need for release mounted. He shuddered in a combination of both intense pleasure, but with a little pain as well, Koichi had never felt anything like what was going on right now. His cock, hot in his hands, rubbing his thumb over the top and under the rim, it felt like he was almost having an out of body experience. Time meant nothing, he didn’t hear anything but the voice of Tatsuro and the rush of blood in his ears.

            “Ohhh…God…Fuckin shit…I can’t…noo…ahhhh!!!” he moaned thrusting his fingers in and out, and pounding his cock, Koichi arched his back and came hard.

            Shaking in ecstasy it felt like the orgasm lasted for ever, shooting cum on his chest and into his hand. Finally, as his muscles started to relax, he could finally breath.

            Koichi couldn’t believe what had just happened. As he laid there, he thought about what it would be like if Tatsu was the one with his cock in his ass. He thought that it couldn’t get any better, could it? Shivering with the thought of Tatsu fucking him, not just his fingers, Koichi let out a strangled moan. Shakily, he grabbed a towel, cleaned himself up and then padded into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. Feeling light headed and dizzy, he finally walked back to his bed and threw himself down. As he looked over at the vibrator, wondering if he could handle it, how much more intense would it be, using a vibrator instead of his fingers? He knew that he needed to use his fingers to prep himself, as you couldn’t just shove the damn thing in dry, but would he last long enough to use the toy?

            “Hmm…3 speeds? Oh, HELL NO!” he laughed at himself. “Maybe next time.”


	3. Chapter 3

                                                                                   Chapter 3

                       

           The High Ball Garden sat at the base of Tokyo Tower and was a popular hangout for both locals and tourists, offering both food and the famous High Ball cocktail. Summer meant more hours at work, and seeing Taka more as well. They both worked at the High Ball Garden, the same shift in the early afternoon, closing at 1am.

            Taka was already at work when Koichi arrived. “Hi, has it been busy? “

             “Eh… steady I guess. But a bigger question is how have YOU been?” Taka smirked.

            Koichi looked embarrassed. “I haven’t tried it yet, but the lube works really good!”

            “Did you chicken out?”

             “No” Koichi blushed “I…uh…just used my fingers.”

            “Oh? Well I guess that’s a start” Taka looked at him. “And?” Koichi just smiled shyly, “Let’s just say it was good.”

            “Well good for you!” Taka was genuinely happy for Kou. _I’m the one that’s really good for you, why don’t you see me?_

            Business was brisk, Taka and Koichi didn’t have any time to breath, let alone discuss Koichi’s experiment   the previous night. Finally, around 10pm it starts to slow down at the bar, Taka is working the counter and Koichi is cleaning, a customer walks up and asks for a drink “Hi, what can I get you?” Taka takes the order and slides him his drink.  Taka doesn’t want to make a scene. The customer picks up his drink and walks away. Taka turns to Koichi, “KOU! Come here!”

            “Why are you whispering?” Koichi looks at Taka “Dude! Kou! My last customer? It was the guitarist from MUCC!”  Koichi’s face went blank. “You mean Miya? Are you sure Taka?”

            “He’s sitting over by the fountain, go look!” Koichi stood there for a minute. “Uh, I think you’re wrong Taka.” Taka grabs Koichi and gave him a broom and a cleaning rag. “Kou, just go look!”

            Pretending to clean the patio area, Koichi slowly makes his way towards the man, hoping to get a better look. He looks sort of like Miya. Damn, I can’t be sure! I need to get closer. Then it happens; Miya looks up at him

            “Hey, how’s it going?” Miya asks. “Good, thanks.” Koichi keeps sweeping, moving back towards the bar. “Holy fuck Taka! It IS him!” Koichi couldn’t believe it. “What do we do Kou? Do we go talk to him?” 

            “Taka, no, I don’t think so,” Koichi stressed. “I don’t want to make a scene and go all fangirl on him.”   

              “Damn, are you sure Kou? This could be the way you could meet Tatsu!” Taka said, unconvinced.  “Yes, I’m sure, let’s just clean up and go home.” As Taka turned towards the counter, another customer is standing there.

            “Hi, Wha…” Taka stops dead. “Can you excuse me for a minute?” he asks the customer.

            He turned around and called Koji over. “Koichi, can you take this customer for me please?”

            “Sure, why?” Koichi asks, a little confused. “Just do it Kou!”, Taka hissed.

            Koichi walks over to the counter and stares at the customer.  “Hi, can I have a High Ball please?” not looking at Koichi.  “Um…yes…of course you can.” His voice barely above a whisper.

            The customer looks up and makes eye contact with Koichi for the first time. They stare at each for what seems like an hour. Koichi suddenly feels like he’s going to pass out, the blood draining from his face. He starts to sway, unsteady on his feet. The customer leans forward as to catch Koichi. “Hey, are you ok?”

            Taka see’s what’s happening and rushes over only to catch Koichi before he falls over.  “Kou! Hey Kou! What’s wrong?” As he grabs Koichi in his arms. “I just need to sit” he whispers. Taka grabs a stool and places Koichi down slowly.

            The customer is staring at Koichi with a look of concern mixed with intensity. _Who is this kid? Oh my god, he’s beautiful… shit!_ “Hey, is he, going to be alright? I can call an ambulance if you need me too!” The customer is frantic.   “No, I’ll be okay.” Koichi has his head in his hands, trying to breath.  Taka hovers over Koichi.

            “Tatsu, what’s up?” Miya has returned to the counter after spying Tatsu from the fountain.  “This poor kid got a little woozy on me, he doesn’t look too good.” Tatsu was still worried.

            Koichi looks up at Tatsu, heart pounding so hard and loud he’s sure everyone can hear it. They stare at each other again, neither one wanting to be the first to break away. Koichi can’t believe he’s staring into the eyes of the man who he fantasizes about, the man who’s videos he jerks off to.

            “Hey, Tatsu, we really need to go. Yukke is waiting in the van” Miya says as he has Tatsu by the arm.  “He looks like he’ll be ok.” Miya is trying to walk away and get Tatsu to follow. Koichi and Tatsu are still staring at each other even as he is being led away. Once he is gone, Koichi lets out a huge breath, as he realizes he had stopped breathing. He starts to feel dizzy again.

            “Kou, what just happened?” Taka asks, but Koichi’s not in any condition to answer, not yet. He still is trying to process what just took place. _Shit, this is bad, really bad._  “It was him, Tatsuro, he was standing in front of me! And I look like a fucking fangirl, and pussied out and almost fainted.” he groans into his hands.

            “Kou, he was staring at you pretty hard too. I don’t think he believes you were being a pussy.” Taka tries to reassure his friend. “Taka, I can’t explain it! He’s just so fucking beautiful, did you see him? He’s perfect!” Koichi had tears dripping down his face.

            “Don’t cry about it Kou! Maybe he’ll come back again then you could talk to him.” Taka said in a bright voice.   _I’m the one that wants to cry, why can’t he look at me like that?_ “Pfftt! After the scene I just made? Doubtful. Let’s just clean up and go home, I’m beat.” Taka and Koichi close the High Ball Garden for the night and went home.

                                                                                                       

~~

            Tatsu keeps looking back as he walks away from the bar with Miya. They meet with Yukke and climb into the van.  “What’s with him?” Yukke leans over to Miya. “Not really sure, but…” Miya then quietly tells Yukke what just happened at the HBG. “Ohh…” Yukke smiles. “Tatsu?”

            “Huh? What?” Looking at Yukke. “What?” Tatsu is getting annoyed with the whispering between Yukke and Miya, his mind rapidly replaying what just happened.  

            God…those eyes! Tatsu can feel the blood rushing through his body, pounding in his ears. He can’t even put into words what he was feeling, all he knew is there was something about that kid, that gorgeous creature he just met.  He looked over at Miya and Yukke, they both had stupid grins on their face. “What the fucks with you guys?” he growls.

            “Nothing. Let’s getting going with this NicoNico gig, we still have to get Sato.” Yukke looked away, a light smile on his face. Maybe it was finally Tatsu’s time. He genuinely hoped so for his friend’s sake, he just wanted Tatsu to be happy, to find love and be content. From what Miya told him, he was hopeful.

 

            Hey, Kou, are you okay? Still feeling sick?” Taka asked, as they walked the one mile to Koichi’s apartment.  _He’s not sick, not really. I’m the one that is going to throw up._ “Mmhmm” Koichi hummed. “Taka, I can’t believe he was there” Taka grinned. “Yep, surprised the shit out of me! When I saw Miya, I thought that was cool, but when Tatsu walked up…” _I wanted to turn him away, away from you, I want to keep you to myself._

            As they arrive at Koichi’s apartment, he turns to go up the stairs. “Are you really going to be okay, Kou?” _Please say no, please ask me to stay._

            “Huh? Oh yah, I’ll be fine. Thanks Taka for you know, letting me help Tatsu even if I ended up looking like a freaking fangirl.” he laughed. “Kou, dude, what are friends for? I’ll see you tomorrow at work.” Koichi goes inside, leaving Taka to walk home alone with his thoughts on what happened tonight. But on that long walk home, Taka did everything he could to keep from crying.

                                               

            The next day Koichi was on edge, searching the patio area every few minutes, looking for Tatsuro, although he was not sure how he would react. Would he panic again? What would he say to Tatsu if given the chance? He sighed and tried to keep busy working the counter. Taka watched his friend carefully, making sure he didn’t look like he was going to faint. He noticed that Koichi was wearing a little makeup, nothing major, some eyeliner and mascara, but enough for Taka to notice. He smiled, happy to see his best friend taking a chance, however small, even if it wasn’t him, he did want Koichi to be happy. As the day changed into evening, the HBG got busier. Koichi was rushing around, helping customers and making drinks, so he had his back turned and did not notice a new customer step up to the counter.

            “Hi, can I get a High Ball please?” the customer asked. “Sure, give me one second please.” As Koichi turned, his eyes lit up. It was Miya!  “Oh hey! You’re the kid that almost fainted last night, are you okay? My friend Tatsuro was a bit worried.” Miya was surprised to see Koichi. “Hi” Koichi was rapidly turning red. “Uh… yah… sorry about before. I …uh…didn’t eat enough that’s all.” He was stalling.  “Well, it’s understandable why you got dizzy.” Miya was smiling, he knew the real reason for Koichi’s condition.

            “HI!” Taka came bouncing up to the counter. “Can I ask you something?” Koichi groaned inwardly, cursing Taka under his breath. “Sure, what’s up?” Miya knew what was coming.

            “So, you’re the guitar player for Mucc, right?” Taka was grinning. “Um, when is your next show? Koichi and I would like to come.”  Miya looked at Koichi and Taka. “Well, we play Saturday at Club G, that’s the next show.” 

            “Oh, cool!” Taka looked at Koichi. “We’ll try to go, right Kou?”  Koichi was a bit embarrassed. “Um, yah.” Koichi was screaming inside, to see Tatsu perform would be the ultimate experience. Something he could jerk off to for a lifetime.

            “Okay, see you guys around.” Miya got his drink and left HBG and walked down the street. “Kou,…this is your chance!!” Taka was excited. “Maybe you can actually meet and talk to Tatsu after the live!” _But you’ll still be going home with me, maybe we can…_

            Koichi just smiled, lost in his thoughts about the possibility of seeing the man he lusts after standing in front of him, maybe talking to him. Maybe.

~~

                                                                       


	4. Chapter 4

                                                                                 Chapter 4

            Tatsu was worn out. Tired of touring, meet and greets, bad hotels and confinement on a tour bus. He knew why he was unhappy, but nothing had seemed to feel right since then. He looked at his band mates, they looked happy enough. Miya and Yukke both had long term lovers and didn’t complain much. Sato was still single, but loved hooking up with both men and women while touring and as a result, his bed was rarely empty. But Tatsu was different in so many ways. He didn’t like the one-night stands while on the road, they left him feeling empty and used, even if he was the instigator. A year ago, he had a brutal break up with his lover of six years. Since then, he had resorted to jerking off to meet his physical needs, but that was getting old and it had no depth, it was just a release.

            The others in the band had tried to set him up, but those ‘relationships’ lasted less than a month, because Tatsu always wanted more than a fuck buddy. The road of love was paved with barbed wire for Tatsu, he would navigate the wire to avoid getting hurt, only to have it snag him and rip him out of the chance for love. The other members of Mucc were getting concerned, Tatsu seemed to be sinking into a hole, that frankly worried them, especially Yukke, who was the closest to him. Yukke would watch Tatsu during a live, making sure that the emotional music wouldn’t take hold too firmly. He would be the one after the show to make sure Tatsu got home safe and in one piece. Yukke knew how lonely Tatsu was, but he couldn’t find any answers on how to fix the problem. Tatsu reassured everyone that he was fine being alone, and that perhaps it was better that way. Yukke and the others knew better, but were at a loss on a remedy.

~~

            At the studio, Tatsu was distracted. Mucc was trying to rehearse for the upcoming live at Club G. Both Miya and Yukke knew that the distraction was: a cute younger guy who seemed to almost faint when he saw Tatsu.

            “Should I tell him?” Miya was standing next to Yukke. “If you don’t, we may not get anything done, but if you do, same problem.” Miya hesitated, walking over to the couch, he flopped down next to Tatsu. “I want to talk you about your problem.” Miya in mock seriousness.  “Huh? I don’t have a problem, what the hell are you talking about?” Tatsu’s voice was shaky.  “Oh, you have a huge problem and it’s effecting the band.”

            Yukke was standing in front of them nodding. Tatsu was confused and starting to get pissed off. “Fuck you! I don’t have a fucking problem.” Tatsu started to get up, but Yukke pushed him back onto the couch. “Just shut up and listen.” Miya started, “Your problem has bright blue eyes, pink hair and is very cute and faints when he sees you. His name is Koichi.”

            “What?” Tatsu was so confused. “What part of cute and his name is Koichi didn’t you get?” Miya and Yukke were smiling.  “You mean that kid at the HBG? How’s he a fucking problem for me?”

            “Damn you’re dense!” Yukke laughed and walked away. “You’ve been spaced out, distracted, pacing and generally just not here.” He turned back to look at Tatsu. “Tatsu, you have it bad.” Tatsu gets flustered and red. “…no idea what the hell you’re on about.”  Miya groaned. “What if I told you I just talked to both those guys yesterday and they will be at the live tomorrow night?”

            “You…talked to Koichi?" Tatsu got up off the couch and started pacing frantically again, mumbling to himself.

            “I thought you didn’t know anything about this kid…what’s his name again?” Miya asked suppressing a laugh. “Koichi…his name is Koichi” Tatsu snapped. “Ok, so I find him um…interesting…so what?” Miya put his hands up. “Interesting? Well at least you’re admitting it.”

            “Wait! Where exactly did you see him?”

            “At the HBG, yesterday afternoon. His friend did most of the talking, Koichi just turned red when I told him how worried you were that night.” Miya chuckled. “His friend was almost bouncing when I told them about the live.” Tatsu was smiling. “Did they say they’d be there?”

            “Yep, both.” Miya was trying hard not to laugh at the quick change in Tatsu after hearing Koichi’s name. “Oh, okay then!” Turning and grabbing his mic Tatsu was ready to move on with rehearsal, his entire attitude had just flipped, from bitchy and moody to a weird euphoria as Yukke and Miya were bumping shoulders and laughing.

            After they were done with rehearsal, Tatsu had gone home, his mind running away with thoughts of Koichi, the petite boy with blue eyes, pink hair and soft lips. Tatsu could not stop thinking of the beautiful boy, even though the first time seeing the other and under less than perfect circumstances, but it was enough for Tatsu to catch his breath once he made eye contact for the first time. Koichi was going to be at the live. Shit! Clothes! Tatsu started going through his clothes trying to find something to wear for the live, not sure what image he wanted to project.  Might not be a date tomorrow night, but it might be something…hopefully… but what?

 

            "Hey, want to come over to my place, maybe watch some Mucc videos?” Koichi asked as they were closing the HBG.

            “Sure Kou, whatever. Let’s get some beer though.” Taka steered them to a konbini, got some beer and went to Koichi’s flat, spending the next few hours drinking and watching Mucc videos. The effects on Koichi watching Tatsu, had led to some very soft moans. Taka tried not to notice, but he couldn’t take his eyes off his best friend and it was obvious by the tent in his pants, that he tried to hide from Koichi.  Taka took a deep breath, damn, Kou looks so fuckable right now!  _Shit, what do I do? I can’t just… ask him to have sex! Okay, let me think…._

            “Hey, Kou?” Taka decided to take the leap. “Hmm…?” Koichi looked over at Taka, surprised to see that his best friend looked like he wanted to pounce on him.

            “Well, uh…” _How much do I tell him?_ “I’ve kissed a few guys,” _Okay so I don’t tell him everything._ “You never told me that, Taka. When was this?”

            “Oh, way back in high school.” _Shit, this might get uncomfortable fast! Back pedal quick!_ “Well…” A slow blush started to creep into Taka’s cheeks. “Um… I guess what I’m getting at is…shit…” He was stuttering. “we could try kissing, to see how you feel. You can pretend I’m Tatsu…okay?” _No, it’s not okay! I want you to kiss ME!_

            Arranging themselves on Koichi’s bed, lying next to each other, Koichi closed his eyes. Taka leans in, takes a deep breath and closes in on Koichi’s lips. The initial shock was almost overwhelming for both. The softness of each other’s lips was a surprise. All Koichi could think of was it was Tatsu kissing him, not his best friend. Koichi’s tongue begged to explore Taka’s mouth, running his tongue over his lips and when Taka let Koichi’s tongue in, everything changed for him. Taka let out a low groan, the kiss slowly deepened, becoming more sensual, the passion in him growing quickly, his breath rapid and shallow.

            _God, I’m kissing Kou, and it’s so fucking good_! As Taka pulls away from the kiss, Koichi whimpers. “Uh…Kou?” Taka whispers just inches from Koichi’s lips. Koichi looks at Taka as he removes his headphones.  “Shit Taka… that was fucking amazing.  Koichi was a little breathless after the intensity of the kiss.  “Yah, I know what you mean, but I assume you liked kissing me…or rather kissing Tatsu.” _Kissing you is all I’ve thought about since I saved you_.

            “Fuck…I think I’m doomed, Taka. That felt amazing!” Koichi peered through his bangs. “Well, if you enjoyed it as much as I did, I think we’re both doomed.” Taka said laughing. _I was doomed the minute I saved you from that creep._   They both sat on the bed, looking embarrassed. Koichi flung himself backwards. “Taka…what the hell do I do now?”

            Taka really wanted to kiss Koichi more, but something stopped him. He wasn’t Tatsu, and that’s who Koichi was thinking of, not Taka. So, he went the other route. “You go to the live with me and we see what happens after that!”

            The concert was the next night, that meant 24 hours to prepare…but prepare for what?  That’s what had Koichi on edge. 

            Taka looks in the mirror one last time, running his fingers through his long black hair.

            “Hmmm, good enough I guess.” He hears knocking on the door and yells for Koichi to let himself in. Koichi pokes his head into the bathroom.  “Almost ready?” Taka turns, looking at Koichi, “Damn Kou! You look great!” _No, Koichi looks fucking hot, really fucking hot_. Taka had to rein in his lust for his best friend.  Koichi was wear a short black pencil skirt over leggings and tall boots, a tight black tank top under his leather jacket and a white rosary as a necklace.  “Thanks. Not too much makeup?”

            Taka laughed. “No, not at all, eyeliner and mascara is just enough, that lipstick is a good shade too, not too dark. Very kissable.” Koichi blushed hard. Hearing his best friend say that he was kissable, especially after last night, made him feel great.

            “Never know, maybe I’ll meet someone too.” _Not going to happen._ “Yah, but guy or girl? Cuz we um…kinda got, well…when we kissed.” Koichi was turning red.  “Well, I’ll figure whatever happens, I’ll just go with it. If you’re ready then, let’s go.” Koichi was shaking inside, the anticipation, the thrill of seeing Tatsu was making him feel hot and sweaty.

~~

            As Club G was only two stations from Taka’s apartment, the trip was quick. There was a short line at the venue, but within a few minutes Taka and Koichi were inside “So, do we stake out a place up front, or get a drink first?” Taka asked Koichi.

            “I think I need a drink, hell maybe two.” Koichi was still shaking inside.  Taka and Koichi finished their drinks and headed towards the stage. Club G is a small venue and as a result the front of the stage is crowded with fangirls. Taka and Koichi made it to the middle of the crowd. Finally, the lights go dim and a cheer goes up from the crowd. Satochi, the drummer is the first on stage, followed by Yukke and Miya. Koichi holds his breath, waiting for Tatsu. Sato starts the opening drum riff for **_G.G._** Tatsu runs onto the stage and yells at the crowd,

            “WHAT’S UP MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!”

            The crowd yells back and starts bouncing to the beat. Taka is jumping with the crowd, singing loudly. Koichi stared at the singer, not believing he was at the show. He wished he could get closer to the stage, close enough to take in the sensual power of Tatsu, but the throng of fan girls kept him standing at least 15 feet back. He tried to make eye contact, tried to send mental signals to Tatsu, _look at me, I’m here_ but it was pointless. Nothing could get past the screaming crowd of girls. He just stood there, mesmerized, his eyes wide as he watches the singer.  “Hey, Kou! This is amazing, he’s so fucking cool.” Taka shouts at Koichi. “FUCK!!!”  Tatsuro screamed into the mic wrapping them in a blanket of chaotic sounds. As the band ended **_Fuzz_** , Tatsu looked down at the set list while gulping down half a bottle of water in one pull. Tatsu glanced over at Yukke and nodded. Yukke started the opening bass riff of **_Diakurai_**. The mainly female crowd started to _furisuke_ as Tatsu started pointing with his “ _Kurai_ ”.

             Scanning the crowd, pointing at random girls, he pauses when he sees a boy, in the middle of the crowd just watching him with a look on his face that confuses Tatsu. It’s Koichi, the boy from the HBG. The song then continues into its blistering fast pace, Tatsu running around like a mad man, and in the process, loses sight of Koichi.

            The song ends, Tatsu breathing forcefully, scans the sea of faces for the lone male. “TATSU!” Miya is giving him that _pay attention_ look to go on with the next song. Sato starts with the heavy drum intro to **_Joker_** as Tatsu starts to sing, still scanning the crowd for that one face. After two more songs, it’s time for the intermission. Koichi was shaking, sweating and dazed.  Did Tatsu really see him? He wasn’t sure, but Tatsu looked a little off when he was singing ** _Daikurai_**.

            “Kou, what the hell is wrong with you?” Taka grabbed Koichi by the arm and dragged him towards the bar. “You just stood there, are you okay?”.

            “Taka, he’s gorgeous! I just couldn’t stop staring at him, I was like…shit, I don’t even know!”

            “You’re not going to faint on me, again are you?” Taka joked. “I wonder if he saw me? Probably not, we’re too far back” whined Koichi.

              “Well, we’re going to fix that right now!” Taka grabbed Koichi by the arm. 

            Not able to make their way to the front of the stage, they found a spot in front of Yukke the bassist, but Koichi was still excited to be closer to Tatsu to experience the raw sexuality that exuded from the man. The lights started to dim and the energy of the crowd increased. The band members started to walk on stage, all but Tatsu, who Koichi could see standing off stage, in the dark.

            With the opening chords to **_Heide,_** Tatsu walked to center stage and started to sing. Koichi was shaking as he admired the full length of Tatsu’s powerful physique, the raw emotion pouring from Tatsu into the lyrics of every song was so intense it made Koichi warm. He occasionally looks at the other members, but his eyes are for Tatsu only. Koichi looked up and found Yukke looking down at him, feeling exposed, he blushed knowing he’d been caught staring at Tatsu. Yukke gives him a sly smile and a wink, he understands. This must be the boy that Tatsu was all hot and bothered about, and he could understand why, Koichi was beautiful, with an eager look in his eyes, the perfect type for his friend. Yukke smiled at Koichi and noticed another beautiful boy that was standing behind Koichi, Yukke wondered if this was the friend that worked at the HBG with Koichi. Long hair, taller, wicked good looking, this was a double catch, Yukke made a mental note and decided to find out more about this friend of Koichi’s, nothing would make him happier than to have both his best friends, find love.

            For the duration of the show, Tatsu and Koichi watched each other, as much as they could with Tatsu running around on stage, Yukke would coax Tatsu over to sing near him so he could get a better look at Koichi, who blushed hard every time the singer glanced his way. Koichi couldn’t believe that Tatsu was searching him out, staring at _him._ Taka was watching both Koichi and Tatsu carefully, knowing that this wasn’t just some fanboy or rock star flirtation, Tatsu was looking at Koichi with an almost desperate look, and Kou? He looked like he was in heaven, a combination of adoration and heat, and not like he was going to faint.

            Taka couldn’t help but feel happy for his friend, and more than a little jealous _._ _I wish he’d look at me like that! It’s not fair, I’m here with him, available!_  The night they tried kissing each other went better than either one of them expected. Taka had finally gotten to kiss the boy he had fallen in love with, the heat and passion he felt that night was overwhelming, but at the same time so sad. Koichi was kissing Tatsu, in his mind, not his best friend. At this point, Taka would take what he could get, only wanting Kou to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him.

            The show ended after two encores and the crowd started filing out of the venue. Taka and Koichi made their way towards the train station, glad for the cool air.  “Kou, you’re almost glowing.” Taka teased. Koichi looked embarrassed. “I’m not glowing, the heat in there was intense, I’m just hot.”   _You have no idea_. _I just need to stop before it gets worse._ “Could you see the drummer?” Koichi thought about it. “No, I didn’t even pay any attention to the drummer, for obvious reasons.” Koichi was curious.

            “Well, maybe you should look at some of the videos, or pictures and tell me what you think. I thought he was fucking hot as hell!” This revelation surprised Koichi, did the kiss between them not mean as much as he thought?  “I’ll look tomorrow, I’m freaking beat, and I need a damned shower. Those small clubs are brutal sweat boxes!”. Koichi was pulling his shirt away from his chest.

            They made their way home, going over the songs that Mucc played, what Tatsu did when he was singing. Koichi was still mulling over what Taka had said about Sato, the drummer, and the kiss that they had shared the night before. They arrived at Taka’s apartment, he went in, saying he’d see him tomorrow night at work. Koichi walked the rest of the way to his apartment, his thoughts in turmoil, sliding between Taka and Tatsu.

 

                                                           

            “What the FUCK was that all about?” Miya was yelling at Tatsu in the dressing room.

            “What?” _Oh shit, here it comes_. “You fucked up on **_Joker_** and **_Daikurai_**!” Miya was pissed. “If I had known Koichi would have that effect on you, I would have never told him about the show.”

            “I wasn’t that bad, I’ve done worse when I’ve been drunk.” Tatsu was sulking. “But you aren’t drunk and that’s my point!” Miya was stomping around the dressing room. Yukke looked at Tatsu. “Miya, you can’t really be that mad at him, it’s partly your fault after all.” Yukke chided. _“MY FAULT_? How is it my fault?”

            “Well, if you hadn’t gone to the HBG before the Nico event, Tatsu would have never seen Koichi.” Yukke was trying to be serious.  Miya sat on the couch.  “I can’t believe you’re trying to blame me for _his_ screw up.” Pointing at Tatsu.

            Tatsu got up and bowed before Miya. “I am sorry, Leader-san. I let my feelings for that boy affect my performance, it won’t happen again.”

            “Damn right it won’t! You’d better go meet him or something, kiss him or whatever, I don’t care.” Miya was finally smiling, shaking his head. With all that was going on, Yukke was watching Sato. The drummer was unusually quiet throughout the whole scene.  “Hey, we should all go to the HBG tomorrow evening, after rehearsal.” Yukke suggested, looking at Sato.

            “Sure, I’ve got nothing going on. Plus, maybe seeing this boy will calm Tatsu the fuck down.” Sato was laughing. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, but you never know, the HBG can be an unpredictable place sometimes.” Miya looked at Yukke, eyebrows raised, wondering what the hell he had planned for tomorrow night.

 


	5. Chapter 5

“Mmm…fuck…God it feels so fucking good.” Koichi is lying naked, on his bed, fingers curled around his hard cock. Freshly showered, he was still dazed from the Mucc live. Tatsu had stared at him, looked into him, made him burn, slowly stroking his length, he grabbed the lube from under the pillow, squeezing a glob into his hand. Slowly reaching behind him, reaching to his hole, starting to prep for what was coming. Moving first one finger, then two, he slowly finger fucked his ass.

            “Ngggnn… so hot…” he whined. He then reached for the black vibe that Taka had bought for him, tonight would be the first time, applying liberal amounts of lube.  Carefully sliding it into his virgin hole, he groaned “Holy fuck...mmm…” he moved it in and out slowly, feeling it fill him. He finally pushes it all the way in, then hits the low vibration button.

            “AHH...SHIT! fuccck…” Koichi bucks his hips. “Oh, sweet jesus…Mmmhhm…feels, oh god.”

            He can’t believe how fucking hot his ass is, his balls start to tighten, he’s so close, so very close, the burn in his groin, he twists the vibe and hits his pleasure spot, he closes his eyes and starts to white out. With one last forceful thrust, his hips buck and he groans, cumming hard. White ribbons of seed coating his abdomen, hitting his chin, he orgasms not only from his cock, but deep in his ass. The euphoria slowly fades, spent and dripping, the vibe slips out of his ass. He lays quietly, tears on his cheeks, cock slowly throbbing and shrinking. Koichi closes his eyes and is lost.

~~

            At work the next day, Taka knows there’s something different about Koichi, but he just can’t pinpoint it. At around 7pm, there’s a lull in business.  “So…what’s new?” Taka is being snarky again. “Uh…nothing. Why are you being so weird?” Koichi’s trying to sound normal. “Oh please, spare me. There’s something different about you today, I’ll figure it out.”

            Taka keep watching Koichi throughout the night until Koichi has had enough of the staring.  “Okay, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to make a fucking scene.”

            “Me? Make a scene? Pfft!” Snorted Taka. They move to the back of the bar. “Okay, spill it.” Taka’s eyes are shinning.  Koichi takes a deep breath. “Last night…I um, used the vibrator.”

            “WOAH!” Taka whistled. “Sshh! Taka, you promised not to make a scene!” Koichi was flaming red, embarrassed as hell. “How was it?” Taka whispered. _I bet you looked beautiful, cumming hard…damn!_

            “Un-fucking-believable.” Koichi signed. “I mean like, how did it feel? Did it hurt?” Taka wanted details, which would make good jerk off fantasies for later.

            “No, I, well, um prepped with that lube and you know, like last time, with my fingers.” Koichi couldn’t believe they were discussing this at work.  Taka, gulped “I bet you looked hot though.” _Oh shit! Did I just say that out loud? Fuck! Hurry up and fake it! Cover it up quick!_ Koichi looked up through his bangs. “What?”

             “Well, you looked so hot at the show and I really liked kissing you, even though you were pretending that I was Tatsu.” Koichi was speechless.   _What the hell was happening with Taka?_ A customer came up to the counter and Taka had to walk away, leaving Koichi confused. Did his best friend just confess to him? Koichi didn’t get another chance to talk to Taka alone, as the steady stream of customers had increased.  

~~

            Within an hour, business finally had slowed down.  “Hey, Hi!” Koichi heard Taka taking with a customer, but his voice sounded weird, sort of high pitched and super animated. “Hey yourself, did you guys have fun last night?” Koichi remembered the voice…it was Miya.  “Hell, yah we did! You guys were fucking amazing.” Koichi started to sweat.

            “Hi Koichi.” Miya said. “Uh, hi.” How did he remember his name?  Yukke and another guy walked up behind Miya.  “Hey guys, this is Yukke and Sato. Guys this is Koichi and…?” Looking at Taka. “Oh, hi, my name is Taka, nice to meet you both.”  Yukke and Sato smiled and Taka went back to taking their orders. Koichi was busy making the drinks and Taka was talking about the concert. The guys walked over and sat by the fountain.

            “No Tatsu?” Koichi asked.  “Didn’t see him.” Taka felt bad for Koichi. But before Taka finished the sentence, Tatsu walked up. Koichi sucked in his breath, Taka slowly backed up, letting Koichi go to the counter. Tatsu and Koichi stared at each other for a minute. “Hi, um…Koichi, right?” Tatsu said softly. “Um, yah, hi.” Koichi whispered.      

            “You’re not going to faint, again are you?” Tatsu asked softly. “Oh God, don’t remind me, I felt so stupid that night.” Koichi face palmed. “I don’t think it was stupid, I was worried actually.” Tatsu said seriously. “Really? You were…worried about me?”

            Koichi noticed there was a line forming behind Tatsu.  “Um, can you wait for like, fifteen more minutes until my break?” Koichi asked hopefully. “Sure” Tatsu smiled. _Oh fuck! That smile!_ Koichi’s breath hitched.

            Koichi and Taka helped the other customers, then Taka waved Koichi off for his break and he and Tatsu walked over and sat at a table, away from the others, talking quietly. Miya and Yukke were exchanging looks and smiles. “Hopefully this keeps our singer from fucking up again.”

~~

            As Miya and Yukke were talking, Sato suddenly got up. “Going to get another drink.” Yukke smirked, then nodded to Miya “Watch.” Taka was wiping counters when Sato approached. “Hi, you’re Taka, right?” _Fuck, this kid is super-hot!_ Taka froze. _Oh, my god, Sato was so much hotter up close_! “Hi, yah, what can I get for you?” He felt is stomach shaking. “Well another high ball and um…your phone number?”

            “Sure…wait, what? My phone number?” Taka was shaking inside. _Are you kidding me?_ “Oh, sorry, you must already be dating someone…my bad.” Sato tried to laugh it off.

            “No, I’m not dating anyone, you just surprised me, that’s all.”  Taka was blushing.  Taka got Sato his drink and quickly wrote down his phone number.  Tatsu had returned to the table by the fountain, talking quietly, waiting for a lull business.  “So, how did it go with Koichi?” Yukke didn’t want to pry too much. “Um, I got his phone number.” Tatsu was still staring over at Koichi.  “Well that’s a start, anything else we should know?” teased Miya.

            “No, not a damned thing!” Miya turned to Sato. “Looks like you scored as well…phone number?”

            “Yep, but I didn’t really get to talk to him, so I don’t know if I’ll call him or not.” Sato was staring at his drink.  Miya looked at the others. “Let’s get going, we have rehearsal tomorrow.” The guys walked towards the exit, when Miya stops. “Wait a second.” Miya walks over to the counter to talk to Taka and Koichi.  “So, how about I put you on the guest list for our next live on Saturday?” Miya looked at his band mates. Tatsu and Sato just stared at Miya, not believing what he had just said. Yukke nodded his agreement. “Shit, that’d be great! Thanks.” Taka was gushing excitedly.  “Okay, see you Saturday, it’s at Club Quattro, you know where that is? Dress lightly, it’s a small club and gets hotter than hell.” Miya waved as the group walked away.  Taka and Koichi looked at each other, neither one believing in the luck they were having.

~~

 **_Conversation between Tatsu and Koichi_ ** _._

            As Koichi came out of the back door, Tatsu was standing nearby.  “Hi.” Tatsu smiled when he saw Koichi. _Fuck this is bad, he’s so fucking cute_! “We can sit over there by the wall, it’s quieter.” Koichi led them to a small table. As they sat down, the looked at each other for a minute. Tatsu spoke first, breaking the silence. “I hope I’m not, you know, freaking you out or anything, am I?” Tatsu said shyly.  “No, why would you say that?” Koichi was honestly confused.

            “Well, how do I put this…you’re so fucking beautiful and I can’t stop thinking about you and I messed up at the last live and Miya yelled at me and well…Shit! I sound like such a fucking creeper!” Tatsu slumped back in his chair, throwing his head back and covering his eyes, expecting to be rejected after that lame confession.

            “You’re not a creeper.” Koichi said softly. “I think you’re gorgeous, talented and I didn’t even notice that you messed up. In fact, I didn’t notice anything…but you.”  Tatsu was shocked. “Wait, say that again.”

            “That you’re not a creeper?”.

            “No, no the other part.” Tatsu shook his head.

            “I didn’t notice anything but you.”

            Tatsu’s heart jumped into his throat. “Really? I mean I saw you watching me, well as much as I could look at you, sort of hard when I’m running all over the stage.” They sat there for a minute not speaking. “Are you, um dating anyone?” Tatsu held his breath, waiting for the answer. “No, I’m single.” Koichi felt his cock twinge just a bit.

            Tatsu let out a huge breath. “Well that’s good! Uh, I mean, well you know.” They both laughed.  “I have to go back to work.” Koichi said sadly.

            “Can I get your phone number? Uh, I mean is it okay if I call you?”

            “Yah, I’d like that a lot.”

            Koichi wrote his number down and they walked back to the HBG. Tatsu then joined the others at the table by the fountain, quietly talking to each other. They got up to leave and suddenly, Miya turned to talk to them, inviting them to the next concert and be put on the guest list. Koichi wondered what the hell was going on? _This can’t be happening, can it?_                                                

~~

            Walking quietly towards Koichi’s flat, both deep in thought, Taka breaks the silence.

            “Kou?” _I need to be careful_. “Yah?” Koichi peers from under his bangs.

            “How did it go with Tatsu?” They both took their shoes off, Taka sat on the floor while Koichi got them both a beer. “He told me that Miya yelled at him for messing up on some songs during the live.”  Koichi takes a long pull of his beer. “He also told me he thought I was beautiful.” Taka whistled. “Pretty heavy stuff for a first conversation, well not counting the first time you met him.” _Beautiful is an understatement. Damn it!_

            “So, what happened with Sato? You looked pretty happy when they left.”

            “He came to get a drink” Taka was looking down at his hands. “then he asked me for my phone number.”

            “You’re acting like that’s a bad thing, Taka.”

            “No, it’s not, but…I mean, I haven’t dated a guy in a long time…hell, I’ve only ever kissed you in the last two years.” Taka looked like he wanted to cry. “Did you give him your number?” Koichi asked carefully.  “Yah, he even asked if I was dating anyone. Kou, what should I do?” The question hung heavy.  Sitting down at the table, Koichi was confused on why Taka wouldn’t even think about calling Sato, why not?

            “Why wouldn’t you go out with him, Taka? There’s nothing holding you back is there?” Deep down, Koichi knew the answer _._ Koichi looked at his best friend, (also the only guy he’d ever kissed), and didn’t really know what to tell him. He didn’t have any apprehensions when it came to Tatsu, somehow he knew he wanted to be with him, he knew that deep in his heart.

            “So, what are you going to do?” Koichi asked gently. After a long pause, Taka looked at him. “Can I kiss you… you know, without you pretending I’m Tatsu?” Taka whispered. _This is what’s holding me back, it’s you._  “Um…okay.” Koichi nodded. _Why Taka? What do you want from me?_

            Taka hesitated for a second, then moved next to Koichi. He cupped Koichi’s face into his hands and leaned in brushing his lips softly on the others mouth, gently licking both their lips. Taka pressed into Koichi’s mouth, his tongue dancing slowly with his best friend’s. Their breath quickening, both now leaning hard into each other. Koichi whined and Taka lowered him to the floor. As he lay across Koichi’s chest, the kissing took an intense turn, tongues frantically moving, yearning for more.

            "Oh, God…Taka” he broke. He reached up and fisted Taka’s hair, drawing him down harder. “You really are beautiful, Kou.  Tatsu is going to be a lucky guy to have you.” _Why can’t it be me? Why do I feel jealous when he talks about how beautiful Tatsu is?_

            Koichi blushed. He was feeling something with Taka, but what? “Sato isn’t getting anything second rate, Taka. You’re tall, you have…god the most beautiful eyes and legs that go for miles.” Koichi stroked Taka’s long hair. “Girls have always been jealous of this.” Lifting Taka’s hair and letting it cascade down through his fingers. Did he dare go further with Taka? It wasn’t Tatsu, but it felt so good. Feeling no resistance, Taka leaned back down to resume the tongue play. Sliding his hand under Koichi’s shirt, he searched for hot spot, finding an already hardened nipple, he pinched it lightly. Koichi moaned in Taka’s mouth “Mmmm” Taka then shifted himself to lay between Koichi’s legs, slowly grinding his hips into Koichi’s hardening length. God this was unbelievable! It felt so good. But was this right? Was he leading Taka on? His body didn’t care that it was Taka or Tatsu, all it knew is that this felt amazing, this is what he had been missing all along.

            Taka couldn’t breathe, his body was moving on its own, his cock was so hard, and Koichi was grinding against it. Koichi slid a hand down Taka’s back, massaging his ass, eliciting small purrs from him, as the other pushes up Koichi’s shirt and drops his mouth searching for the small nub. “…Taka…uhh…don’t…yes…bite!”  Sucking, then biting the tiny bud, causing Koichi to raise his hips, Taka sucked harder, rolling the nipple with his tongue. Koichi had slipped one hand into the back of Taka’s pants, gripping the small tight ass, tickling the cleft and exploring the roundness. This caused Taka to grind his hips into Koichi’s cloth covered cock.

            “Kou…either we have to stop, or do something more, I’m not sure how much more I can take.” Taka whispered in Koichi’s ear.

            “More…” Koichi whined. “I just need something more, Taka I don’t want to have sex but I need to get off, jerk me off, I don’t care _, just do something_.”

            “Are you sure this is what you want? You sure you want me, a man to touch you like that Kou?” Taka was teasing him with his tongue. _It’s not Tatsu, but it’s okay because it’s Taka, right_?

            “God, yes I’m sure, I don’t care, it’s you, Taka, I just need to be touched, please… fucking touch me!” Koichi was writhing on the floor almost as if in pain.  Taka got up, helped Koichi to his feet, both grabbing onto each other, peeling off clothes as they inched towards the bed. Taka had never seen an aroused and naked Koichi before. “God, Kou …I never knew you were this fucking hot.” Taka groaned. Seeing Koichi’s tattoo for the first time, Taka’s breath stopped. “What’s the tattoo say Kou? I’ve never seen it” _It’s fucking beautiful_. “It’s my birthday, in Roman numerals”. Koichi was blushing hard. “I don’t know what I’m doing Taka, but I want you right now, whatever I can get. Just take it slow, huh?"  Koichi whimpered. Taka laid down next to Koichi, who reached under the pillow, lube in one hand, vibrator in the other, he moaned as he looked at Koichi’s raging hard cock.

           Taka laid between Koichi’s slender muscled thighs, starting to nibble on his collarbone, licking, lightly biting his way down, Koichi grabbed the sheets, moaning.  Taka stared at Koichi’s cock, it had been so long since he’d done this.  He moved further down the bed, slipped his hand around the other’s cock, feeling the hardness.

            “Ah, God…” Koichi fisted Taka’s hair.  Taka flicks his tongue over the head, causing Koichi to sing in low sounds of pleasure. After a deep breath, Taka slides his mouth over the head, runs his tongue over the slit, making his friend gasp. Koichi bucks his hips to thrust his cock deeper into Taka’s mouth, letting out a sensuous mewling. “Taka…stop, or I’ll…” He pulls back.

            Taka picks up the vibrator.  “Tell me if it’s too much and I’ll stop.” Taka reaches for the lube and slowly drips it over Koichi’s hole. Watching the ring pucker, Taka gently puts his middle finger in first, just barely moving it in.

            Koichi lifts his head, “Oh…fuc-uuk.” He throws his head back onto the pillow, then grabs his cock and starts squeezing it. Taka adds another finger, scissoring the two to loosen up the small petite ass, penetrating deeply.

            “Ready Kou? I’ll go slow, I promise.” Reaching for the vibe and coating it with lube, Taka starts to gently breech the rim of the other’s hole. Koichi grabs the sheets, clutching them like a life line.

            “Oh fuck.” Koichi whines. “Nnghhyess…” Taka has half the vibe in, not even moving it.

            “More…Taka, move it more, please…” Koichi said breathlessly. Taka starts to fuck his friend’s ass with the vibe, sliding it in and out at a gentle pace. Taka watched Koichi’s reactions to being ass fucked by a vibrator, remembering what it feels like to be fucked by a real cock. He grabs his dick and starts jerking.  He starts to thrust faster, giving the vibe twists, his cock is starting to expand in his hand. As Koichi’s ass is being filled, Taka hits the low vibration button. Koichi’s body went rigid, hands clawing the bed, he reached down and grabbed his cock, bucking his hips, Taka had to work to keep the vibe in the other’s hole.

            “Nnghunng! ….ye-fuck, Ta--ka…shit!” A few seconds later, Koichi’s hips snap up, coming without even being touched, his cock throbbing and the white-hot release of ribbons of cum, cover his abdomen and hand.

            “Shit, Kou!” Taka had been pounding his own cock while fucking Koichi with the vibe. As Koichi was in the after-glow of his orgasm, Taka was reaching his peak. He turned onto his back and started fisting his length rapidly, bucking his hips up frantically.

            “Oh, fucking good… uhhhnnnmm!” Stroking it off, his ass clenching as the burn mounted. “Uhhh…mmhm…HOT! Fu-ck!” Taka came hard, splashing cum on his chest, a long ribbon reaching to his chin. As the friends laid next to each other, breathing hard, Koichi reached over and grabbed some tissue, giving some to Taka to clean up with.

            “God, Taka that felt…I’m not sure I can even describe…fucking amazing! I’ve never felt like that, cum that hard from jerking off.”

            “Yah, I felt the same way, like you orgasm in your ass.” He turned to look at his friend _.  I want to tell you how much I love you! I want you to look at me, and only me!_

            “Whew! I’m thirsty, and fucking hungry as hell…and um sticky. How about I clean up and go get us both some udon and more beer?” Koichi went to grab a warm wet washcloth and started wiping off the dried-up cum. “Oh! Udon and beer! Just what you need after blowing up from a huge orgasm!” Taka sat up on one arm. “Mind if I spend the night, I just don’t feel like getting dressed again. We can have a food and beer party in bed!”. “Well at least wash up before we go to sleep, I don’t want a sticky cum covered _you_ in my bed.” Koichi pulled on a pair of track pants.  “Well, do you mind having me in your bed all?” Taka was being serious. _I never want to leave this bed._ Koichi moved over and sat on the bed. He looked down at Taka for a minute.

            “Taka, I love you. You’re my best friend, you’ve always been there for me.” He leaned over and kissed Taka deeply. “Let’s just say this is a new part of always being there for each other. We will have lovers, hopefully Tatsu and Sato, but even if we don’t, we’ll always have us.

            “Dude, Kou…you’re getting all mushy and shit.” He said smiling at his friend. “I love you too, no matter who we end up with, you will always find me standing behind you, to catch if you fall.” _I want to really tell you how much I love you!_

            Looking at each other, they suddenly burst out laughing.

            “God, we’re a couple of real saps.” Koichi said as he moved towards the door. _I have a bad feeling, but why? Taka’s my best friend!_

            “Yah, we sound soo corny! Hurry up and go get the food and beer, I’m starving.”

~~

            Taka had showered while Koichi was gone. Sitting on the bed, Taka struggled with his emotions, reflecting on the sex scene with Koichi. _What the hell am I doing? Koichi wants to be with Tatsu, so why am I doing this to him_?

            Koichi returns, laying the food and beer out, the two friends wolf down the udon. “This tastes amazing! Maybe because I’m drunk?” Koichi was giggling, slurring his words. Taka looked at Koichi, wanting nothing more than to push him down and kiss him into oblivion.

            “Food always tastes better when you’re drunk, it’s a known fact of science.” Taka stated. Koichi turned and looked as his friend… and started laughing.

            “Fact of science? Are you kidding me? Where did that come from?” Koichi fell over on the bed, giggling. “You don’t have to laugh about it, Kou.” pouted Taka.

            “Mmm, sorry. I’m just so sleepy…food made me tired.” Koichi’s eyes were closing slowly. Taka stared at him, _he’s so fucking beautifully perfect_.

            Taka starts to clean up. “Kou, do you want to save the udon?  Kou?” Looking over, Koichi is passed out, snoring softly.  Taka turns off the lights, and slips into bed with Koichi. _I’m finally sleeping with you, Kou. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted you. From day one, you’ve been it. I love you, Kou_.

            Taka’s hand ghosts over Koichi’s chest, lightly rubbing the small nubs, pinching one lightly, waiting for the reaction. A very soft moan escapes from Koichi, he turns on his side, facing Taka. _Fuck, now what? I have to_ …? Taking a chance, Taka strokes Koichi’s arm, moving down his friends body, lightly touching him, moving down further. When Taka gets to Koichi’s hip, he slides his hand under Kou’s boxers, letting his hand tease the small curves and dips. Koichi whimpers, “Tat…su” _No, it’s me Kou, I love you more than Tatsu ever could, if you would just see me_! Taka’s hand slides down, Koichi is limp, but the heated touch of Taka’s hand makes him moan again, Koichi turns over. Taking a chance, Taka scoots over to Koichi, spooning his friend. The temptation is too great, Taka starts to grind slowly against Kou’s ass. Taka is fighting with his emotions, he knows he shouldn’t’ do this, his friend is passed out for fucks sake! But it’s a loss, Taka starts to move, pushing his cock against Koichi’s ass, _what the hell am I doing? Fuck now I’m getting_ … Taka turns over on his back and starts moving his hand rapidly over his harden length, _I can’t believe I’m doing this_! Guilty tears running down his face, he’s suffocating sobs, praying for release. When he’s done, he goes to the bathroom to clean up.

            Lying in the dark, Taka is lost. He loves Koichi, he’s sure his friend knows this, but he’s helpless to do anything about it. Koichi wants Tatsu, and he needs to let it go. Let Koichi be happy. Sato wants him, or at least he thinks he does. He needs to give Sato a chance, and himself a chance for happiness. Rolling over and carefully spooning Koichi, Taka kisses his friends neck, whispers in his ear, “I love you Koichi, I always will. There will never be anyone but you.” Taka wraps his arm around Koichi’s waist and falls into a restless sleep.

 

                        K, Call me when you’re ready to go shopping, T.


	6. Chapter 6

            He was surprised at what went down at the HBG tonight, meeting someone that wasn’t another one-night fuck buddy. Sato had always put on the ‘I don’t care’ face, he was the jester, the clown of Mucc. It was easy to be less noticed than the others in the band, he could always hide behind his drum kit. He was okay with playing that part, but the emptiness of going home alone, ate at him. It wasn’t that he never got laid, he did, as much as he wanted, one of the perks of being in a band and touring. But he really wanted a steady permanent lover to come home to a real boyfriend, like Miya and Yukke had with their lovers, and by the looks of things, now Tatsu had a chance with Koichi.

            Sato had said nothing that day at rehearsal when Miya and Yukke confronted Tatsu, who had been pissy and not paying attention to the songs. He worried about his friend as much as the others, Tatsu had a tough time getting over his break up and Sato really wanted his friend to be happy.  He had seen what was going on during the live, as his drum kit was a little higher up, seeing the boy Tatsu was all hot and bothered over. Koichi was beautiful, no doubt the reason Tatsu was attracted to him. But while Koichi was just standing and watching Tatsu, behind him was a taller boy with long black hair, jumping around like the rest of the crowd. Sato thought the boy was looking directly at him, but it was difficult to be sure, but he continued to watch the tall one. During intermission, Sato sneaked back to the stage and looked for the tall guy, disappointed when he didn’t see him.

           “Hey, what’s up?” Yukke had cornered Sato in the dressing room. “Who were you looking for?”

           “Eh, just my imagination, it’s nothing.” Sato tried to blow it off.  “You sure?” Yukke had his doubts. “Yah, I’m sure.” Sato grabbed a bottle of water. “Okay.” Yukke turned to go change his shirt. _He’s looking for Taka._  

            Going back to the stage, Sato was first out. Scanning the crowd quickly, he sees Koichi off to the right, in front of Yukke and the tall dark-haired boy was standing right behind him. He smiled and tried not to stare…at least not too hard. Sato looks over at Yukke, who is smiling.  Sato mouths ‘what?’ at Yukke, who just turns back to face the crowd. All through the rest of the live, Sato keeps looking at the boy, and does catch him staring back. By the end of the last encore, he is certain that the boy was looking at him directly. Back in the dressing room, things are becoming heated. Miya is yelling at Tatsu for screwing up, Yukke is trying to calm things down. Sato sits quietly, drinking water and watching.

            “I noticed you were a bit distracted too.” Yukke stands in front of Sato. “Maybe a little, but I didn’t mess up on any songs, now did I?”

            “Who was it this time? That girl in the front with the red hair?” Miya laughed. “Nah, probably the VK girl over by Miya.” Yukke was playing the guessing game, even if he knew the honest answer. “Nope. You’re both wrong, but no worries.” Sato smiled smugly.

            Yukke then suggests that they go as a group to the HBG the next night. Sato’s heart jumped, he knew that the tall boy worked with Koichi. Trying not to sound over enthusiastic, he agrees, blowing it off as if he had nothing else better to do, in reality his heart was beating hard and all he could hear is a rushing noise in his ears. The tall boy might be there, he might be able to talk to him. It was going to be a long night.

            On the way to the HBG Sato was unusually quiet, but Tatsu was talking enough for all of them.  “Shit, what the hell am I supposed to say to him?”

            “Well, ‘Hi’ is always a great conversation starter.” Yukke teased him. “Fuck you, Yukke!” Tatsu growled back, “You know what I mean. I don’t want to sound like some fucking kid in high school.”

            “Tatsu, you know how to talk someone you like, just don’t force it.” Sato finally spoke up.  “You’ll be fine, he seems like a nice guy, when he’s not fainting.” Miya joked. “He said it was from not eating.” Tatsu was miffed. “It was because of you…I swear you’re so fucking clueless sometimes.” Tatsu felt warm, the heat rising in his face.

            When they arrived at the HBG, Tatsu hung back, wanting to make sure Koichi was there. When he saw Taka at the counter, his heart dropped, shit Koichi wasn’t there, but as he turned to go he heard Miya, “Hi Koichi”.

            Miya was talking to Koichi and his friend, introducing them to Yukke and Sato. Tatsu watched the others get their drinks and move to a large table by the fountain. Tatsu walked to the counter and started to talk to Koichi, staring at him, drinking in every detail about the beautiful boy, but a line soon formed behind him, Koichi asked Tatsu to wait for him until his break time. Tatsu then moved to lean against a wall near the back door, to wait for the beautiful boy.

            Sato was watching Koichi’s friend Taka, during all of this, not saying much other than a greeting when Miya introduced them. Sato was eyeing Taka, taking in everything about him that he could, trying to decide if the signals he was getting were real. Taka was tall, taller than he was, and his hair was probably the same length as Tatsu’s.  Miya and Yukke were watching Koichi and Tatsu talking at a different table, not paying attention to Sato, when he decided to act.

 _Can’t hurt to try_. “Going to get another drink.” Sato took a deep breath and walked to the counter. “Hi, you’re Taka, right?” He was trying to take in every detail he could; tall, long black hair, deep brown eyes, beautiful pale skin, and the softest looking lips, so juicy Sato just wanted to crush them. Damn! This kid was so fucking hot, Sato’s brain wouldn’t focus.

            “Yah, Hi! What can I get for you?” Taka smiled at Sato, a smile that Sato could tumble into oblivion with.  “Well, another high ball…and your phone number?” _SHIT! Damn, well that’s it, I just blew my chance._ “Sure…wait? What? My…my phone number? Sato felt his hopes burn.

            “Oh sorry! You must be already dating someone, my bad!” Sato fell into his role as the clown, always the jester, blowing it off. “No…I’m not dating anyone…you just surprised me, that’s all.” Taka was blushing hard. He couldn’t believe that Sato just asked him for his number.

            As Taka was serving Sato his drink and jotting down his phone number, Miya and Yukke, came to the counter, just as Tatsu and Koichi walked up. Miya talked about the next live and putting the boys on the guest list.

            Tatsu and Sato didn’t talk much on the ride back to the studio, where they had met up, both men feeling dazed and mellow. Miya and Yukke were exchanging knowing looks of satisfaction tinted with a lot of hope, for their friends.

 

~~

            Koichi and Taka had the next two days off, which would normally have been spent shopping, gaming and maybe eating out, but not this time, Koichi and Taka were on the hunt.

            “Shit Kou, I dunno, that looks um…how do I put this?” Koichi and Taka were clothes shopping, specifically for something to wear to Mucc’s next live.  “Those pants make you look like an Oji-san.” Taka was trying so hard not to laugh.  “Ok, you’re so fashion forward, what would you pick?” Koichi was frustrated. Nothing he tried looked right.

            “Hmm, let me go look, stay here.”  Taka walked around the store for a while leaving Koichi sitting in a dressing room. Fifteen minutes later, Taka returns with an arm full of clothes.

            “Okay, try this on, then come out and let me see.” _He’s going to look fucking amazing_! Koichi took the clothes and closed the door.  “Taka, are you sure about these? Um, I’m not.” _Shit! These don’t look right either! What the hell am I going to do?_

             Koichi opened the door and walked out, Taka’s breath hitched and he felt his cock twinge. Taka’s eyes widened, totally focused on Koichi. _Oh fuck…uh.._ Suddenly, Taka got up and grabbed Koichi by the hand. Pushing the door to the dressing room, he swung Koichi in and shoved the door shut and locked it.  “Taka! Wait…” Taka shoved Koichi against the wall and licking his lips.

            “Kou, shit, you’re so beautiful! God, I just need this…now…please!” Taka leaned in and sucked Koichi’s bottom lip into this mouth making Koichi whine. Thrusting his tongue into Koichi’s mouth, Taka groaned. Koichi is stunned, but kisses Taka back just for a brief moment. Koichi breaks the kiss. ‘Um…Taka, as much as I’d like to do this…” Taka pulled back.

            “Ugh…fuck, okay but THIS is the outfit you should buy, it’s going to drive Tatsu fucking nuts.” _He should be dressing for ME! DAMNIT_! “Okay, with the hat?” Koichi was trying to breath normally, confused with what Taka did, and why it felt weird.

            “The hat makes the outfit complete.” Taka regretfully left the dressing room, not wanting to push his luck.  “What about you, what are you wearing?” Koichi was curious.

            “I’m going really low key, since Sato and I haven’t even really talked yet.” Taka said nervously. _Because I don’t care what I look like._  “I guess we’re set then, let’s go eat.” Koichi paid for his clothes and the two left to find dinner. After eating, they went up to Taka’s flat, stopping at a konbini for beer.

            “Shit, we still one more night of work before the live.” Taka was leaning against his bed.

            “True, but at least it will go by fast, at least I hope so.” Koichi was sitting against the wall, opposite of Taka’s bed.  “Um… why did you suddenly kiss me like that today?” Koichi knew the beer was loosening Taka’s tongue. He had to know what was going on with Taka, why things had changed so quickly.

            “Instant reaction I guess.” Taka was looking at his hands. “Sorry, you just looked fucking amazing!” _Yah, like I can tell you I want to take you and fuck you into the floor right how_.

            “Oh, okay.” Awkward silence filled the room for at least fifteen seconds. Koichi finished his beer and got up to leave. “See you tomorrow at work?” Taka looked up, he was smiling again. “Yep.”

            As Taka watched Koichi close the door, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. What the hell? _He’s not in love with me, he wants Tatsu, not me!_ Biting back tears, Taka turned on his computer and started watching Mucc videos, focusing on Sato.

            “He asked me for my number, that means something, right?” He asked an empty room. “So why Kou? Why my best friend? There was no answer.

~~

            Koichi was confused. Why did Taka kiss him like that? As he walked to his flat, the scene in the dressing room played on a continuous loop, with Koichi trying to pick it apart.

            “He’s all excited over Sato asking for his number…so why did he kiss me like that? Why is he always staring at me?” As with Taka, there was nobody to answer that question. Koichi let himself into his flat, flipped on the lights and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Just as he was sitting on his bed, his phone buzzed in his pocket, _unknown name_ flashed on the screen.

            “Uh…hello?”

            “Koichi? It’s Tatsu, are you busy? I mean, can you talk?” _Oh shit, it was him_!

            “No, I’m not doing anything, just having a beer.” Koichi was shaking inside.  “Oh good…I thought you might have to work or something.” Tatsu sounded eager.  “No, Taka and I work tomorrow night.”

            “You’re still coming to the live, right _” Please say yes!_ “Oh, definitely, wouldn’t miss it.” Koichi was trying hard to come across as composed, but failing miserably.

            “Well, I won’t be able to see you before the live, but after…if you want, you can come backstage. Oh and Taka too.”  Tatsu’s voice was making Koichi light headed.

            “Um…yes, I’d love to.” Koichi was almost purring. “Oh! Yah, I mean…sure! That would be fun.” Koichi tried to recover his normal voice, embarrassed at what he had said.  Tatsu’s breath had hitched at the sensual purr of Koichi’s reply.

             “I…uh…will see you Saturday night then...uh, bye.” Tatsu was stuttering. _God, I sounded like I was 15! But that voice…oh shit!_

            Tatsu’s voice had the same effect on Koichi. After hanging up, his thoughts turned back to Taka and what to do about that kiss. What did it mean? Was it just in fun, like a joke? Didn’t feel like a joke, it felt like…what?

            “Guess I’ll see how it goes at work.”

~~

             Friday nights during the summer were busy at the HBG. Koichi had just arrived, hoping to talk to Taka, but the line of customers for the next three hours prevented them from really saying anything except ‘hi’. Around 11pm, the flow of customers had eased and Koichi was coming in from taking out the trash out. He wanted to talk to Taka…to feel out what the hell that kiss was about, but hears Taka talking to a customer. Koichi goes up the counter only to see the customer was Sato.  “Hi Koichi, how’s it going?”

            “Hi, didn’t expect to see you here, aren’t you rehearsing?”

            “Well we just finished so I took a chance to see if Taka was working, and it paid off!” Taka turned and looked at Koichi. “Okay if I take a break?” _I have to try, I have to give Sato a chance._ “Sure, we’re slow right now, I’m just going to start cleaning up.”

            “Thanks Kou.” Taka went out the back door.

            Well, he looks happy, maybe the kiss didn’t really mean anything. Koichi kept busy with closing duties, he didn’t want to spy on Sato and Taka, but he did see that both men were wearing big smiles as they talked. “See you tomorrow night, Koichi.” Sato waved as he left the HBG.  Koichi wanted to sound excited for Taka. “Well? What did he say?”

            “That he was too nervous to call me, and that the band had rehearsal, and that he wants me…us, to come back stage after the live.”

            “Yah, Tatsu said the same thing, about going back stage after the live.”

            “Wait… when did you talk to Tatsu? Shit Kou, why didn’t you tell me?” _Shit, I should have kept my mouth shut._ “He called me last night, after I got home from your place.” _Taka sounds pissed. Shit._

            “Guess that means…” Taka was laughing. “Hell, I’m not sure what this means! Are we like fangirls, to them? Or are they serious, like relationship serious?”

            “Well for me at least, I think Tatsu is serious, he doesn’t act all rock star, if anything he’s acting sort of shy. What about Sato?” Koichi was hoping that Sato was serious as well.  “He’s hard for me to read. He seems interested, like he wants to be with me.”

            “But?” Koichi’s heart was skipping. _I know what the ‘but’ is. It’s me, but why?_

            “There’s just something off, I’m not sure what it is.  Let’s get ready to close up, I need some sleep.” Taka was blowing off the conversation, as if he didn’t want to get into a deep discussion about his feelings for Sato. Koichi wondered was him that was keeping Taka from his true feelings for Sato? Or the lack of feelings?

            Taka and Koichi didn’t talk much after that, even on the way home. They both went home to their own flats, and had decided to meet at Taka’s flat the next night to get ready for the concert. Both men were confused about their respective feelings.

 

~~ **Conversation between Taka and Sato**

                       

            “Sorry I came unannounced, I mean…not like I could call the HBG for a reservation!” Taka had to laugh about this.  “It’s okay…I’m glad you came though.” Taka was being adorable.

            Oh, my god…that laugh! _I’m getting sucked in already. Those lips are so fucking kissable, he looks like a porcelain doll! I would love to wrap my cock in that hair! Oh shit! Everything_!

            Sato talked about rehearsal, what songs they might play, all the while, taking in all of Taka’s features. “I can’t hang out with you before the show, but after, I can come get you and you can come back to the dressing rooms…oh and Koichi to of course.”

            “Cool, I’ve never been back stage at a concert before!” Taka gushed.

            “Sorry I didn’t call, I figured maybe we should actually talk in person at least once …since all I’ve ever said is High Ball and Phone Number to you.” Sato was leaning on his elbows. There was an awkward silence between the two, before Taka checked the time.

            “Shit. I have to get back.” _He’s soo good looking! I’m going to try hard to get to know him._ “It’s okay, we have all of tomorrow night to talk more…and get to know each other.” Sato said with a naughty smile that made Taka blush hard. Taka went back to work, Sato waving to both Taka and Koichi. Turmoil rumbled in Taka’s stomach; _Why do I feel that there’s something wrong…Is it me or him? Fuck! I hate this!_

 

~~

            Koichi took a deep breath before knocking on Taka’s door, not knowing what to expect from his best friend. Their relationship had changed from friends, into friends with some benefits. It was an easy situation in which both men could sexually satisfy each other and to indulge them in their respective fantasies, which might actually play out tonight. But something was seriously wrong, and it nagged at Koichi almost constantly.

            Taka opened the door. “Crap Kou, that’s a huge bag, you bring your entire flat with you?”

            “I just wanted to make sure I had everything, it’s not that much.” sniped Koichi. Dropping his bag on the floor he saw that Taka had already showered.  “You need a shower, Kou?” _So, I can watch you, and maybe…_

            “No, I took one before I left.” Koichi didn’t want to take the chance of showering at Taka’s place, considering how things had gone the past few days with the weird make out session.   _Why am I so nervous now around Taka? This is weird, it doesn’t feel normal._

            “Okay, give me a few minutes to finish up, then you can have the bathroom. Grab a beer if you want.”

            Koichi watched Taka get ready, admiring his body, long and lean, and his hair, damn that man had fucking beautiful hair. But then so did Tatsu, and it was at least as long as Taka’s _. Shit, why am I doing this?_

            “Okay, I’m finished, the bathroom is yours.” Taka made a grand sweeping gesture.

            Koichi dragged his stuff into the bathroom, changing out of his track pants and t shirt first.  He heard what he thought was Taka gasp, but looking over his shoulder, Taka had been at the fridge, getting more beer. Koichi pulled his hair back, and started putting on a tiny bit of makeup, not too much.

            “Here, have another beer.” Taka put the beer on the counter. “Mmm, thanks.”

            “Makeup tonight?” Taka was leaning in the doorway _. Fuck, he’s sexy as hell_. “Just a little, not too much, I don’t want to overdo it.”

            “You had on the right amount last time, that was perfect. Less is more sometimes. Either way you’ll be the hottest guy there.” These were the statements that made Koichi wonder about Taka. _Does he want me? What about Sato…doesn’t he want to go out with him?_

            “Wonder what we’ll do after the show?” Taka was trying hard not to stare at Koichi.

            “Probably just show us around, I’m not really expecting much.” Koichi wanted to keep his expectations low, so he didn’t get hurt too badly when rejected by Tatsu for anything more.

            “Hey, what if they want to take us out after…like to a restaurant?” Taka eyes were bright with anticipation. “Maybe…” Anything would be better than leaving with Taka alone…that didn’t sound right. Why was he afraid of being alone with Taka? This was his best friend he was having weird thoughts about now.

            Koichi came out of the bathroom, “Well, I’m ready.” Taka whistled low. _Shit, Koichi was fucking adorable, yummy, fuckable, SHIT_! He felt his cock harden just a bit.

            “Yep, I was right, Tatsu won’t be able to keep his eyes off you.” _Neither will I._ “You’re dressed pretty casual Taka, why?” _Why does he not want to impress Sato_?

            “Well like I said, I haven’t really talked to Sato, I mean he sounds like he might be interested, but I’ not so sure.” _I don’t want Sato to look at me, I want Koichi to see me._

            “Okay, whatever…ready?” Koichi knew better. He could feel something was wrong, what was it?

~~

            Arriving at Club Quattro, Taka and Koichi checked in with the doorman for the guest list. Once inside, they milled around, looking at the merch table, but feeling too weird if they were to buy anything. Heading to the bar, they got something to drink, checking out the other people who were at the show.

            “Looks like it’s getting crowded in there, we should go find a spot, a good spot so Sato can see you too.” Koichi and Taka made their way through the crowd, pushing a little to get closer to the stage, close enough to make sure that both Tatsu and Sato saw them.  It was a tight fit, but they both managed to get about ten feet from the stage, almost directly in front of Tatsu’s mic stand.  Taka was looking around, not really talking to Koichi, but Koichi could feel Taka’s eyes on him when he wasn’t looking.  Koichi just wished the lights would go down, so he could escape the gaze of his best friend, an unnerving gaze.  Almost as he finished the thought, the band starts to come on stage, waving to the cheering crowd. Last on stage was Tatsu, dressed in all black, except for his bare feet.

            As Koichi watches Tatsu, he feels a twinge starting in his groin, he closes his eyes and listens to the voice as it seduces him. He felt hot, the tempo of the music matches his heartbeat, his mind reels almost to the point of drunkenness, his eyes follow the object of his obsession, the figure of his desire. He feels as if he is alone, the other singing only to him, the noise of the crowd fades, Koichi oblivious to his surroundings.  As if someone opened a faucet, the noise of the crowd rushes into his ears, the song ends. He stands, planted to the spot, watching, he makes eye contact with Tatsu.  Taka sees the connection Koichi has with Tatsu and his jealousy pokes its head into his heart, can he ever get Koichi to look at him like that? _Should I continue with the pursuit of Sato_?  He looks at Koichi, is this who I truly desire. Taka looks towards the stage, catching Sato’s eyes searching for him. Taka avoids making eye contact with Sato, it’s not right, something is off balance. It’s intermission, and as they make their way to the bar, suddenly Taka takes Koichi by the hand and leads him away from the bar towards the bathroom.

            "Wait…where are we going?” Koichi tried hard to stop Taka.

            “I need to talk to you, now.” Taka sounded desperate. entering the bathroom, Taka pulls Koichi into a stall and leans against the door. 

            “Taka what the hell are you doing?” Koichi was pissed. _This is scary, it feels like …_

            Taka tried to kiss Koichi, but was shoved away. Taka grabs Koichi’s arms and pin them above his head, smashing his mouth to Koichi’s. _LOVE ME DAMNIT!_

            “Taka, this isn’t funny, what the hell is wrong with you tonight?”  Koichi was starting to shake. _What the hell was Taka doing! Fuck, is he going to…_

            Taka continues to try to kiss Koichi, grinding his stiffening length against him, keeping his arms pinned. His hand slides under Koichi’s shirt, roughly grabbing the front of his pants, trying to slide his hand down the front. He hears Koichi, but he doesn’t care _; YOU’RE MINE DAMNIT_!  Koichi is almost screaming at Taka, trying to get him to stop, trying to knee him in the groin. Finally, Taka breaks the kiss, tears burning behind his eyes.

            “Kou, I need you, please…let me kiss you! Just let me kiss you once, that’s all I want.” Taka was on the verge of tears, breathing raggedly. _Fuck! What the hell am I doing? This is Kou! My best friend and I’m acting like that creep I saved him from!_

            “This isn’t the right time or place for this, we need to talk this out, but not here!” Koichi was starting to get a bit scared.

            “Kou, I don’t think I can do this…not tonight. I can’t stand here and watch you drool all over Tatsu…I can’t!” Taka let Koichi’s arms drop, leaning back against the wall, looking at his feet.

            “Watch me drool? What do you mean you can’t watch me tonight? What the fuck is going on? Let me out! What the fuck Taka? Are you jealous! Is that what this is all about? You’re jealous that Tatsu likes me, that I like him, that’s why you’ve been like this, that’s what the whole dressing room thing was, wasn’t it? Answer me Taka!”

            Leaning back, without a word, Taka let Koichi out of the stall, still staring at his feet.

            “Well? Aren’t you coming? Or what?” Koichi wasn’t sure he wanted Taka to stay, but didn’t want to come right out and say it.

            “No, I’m leaving, I can’t do this. Tell Sato and Tatsu whatever you want, I’m going home.” Taka pushed by Koichi and left the bathroom. Koichi followed.

            “Taka, what the fuck is wrong? What did I do? Why don’t you want me to be happy?” Koichi followed Taka towards the club door.

            “Kou, stay here, have fun and tell the guys I’ll see them later.” Taka pushed the door open, looked back at Koichi, then left the club.

            Koichi watched the door close, not believing that Taka would really leave. He stood there for a while, waiting for him to come back in, to come back and apologize.  Pissed off, Koichi went to the bar, slammed back two more drinks then went back into the main room. _Fuck him, damnit! I’m going to have fun, I’m going to go backstage with the band and hang out. This is such bullshit!_

            The band was starting to come onstage for their second set, Koichi decided not to push to the front, but stood off to the left, in front of Yukke. Looking down from the stage, Yukke noticed that Koichi was alone, Taka was nowhere to be seen. He then looked back to Sato, who also saw that Taka wasn’t there, and shrugged. Yukke looked at Koichi, seeing a dark shadow fall on his face, obviously unhappy about something. Throughout the next set, Yukke watched Koichi, something was wrong, even Tatsu noticed, Koichi was not paying attention to the music. Koichi was watching Tatsu, but not with any emotion his face, he was lost in trying to figure out what happened with Taka.

            By the end of the concert, Koichi had moved to standing against a wall, not even watching anymore. The crowd left and Yukke came to get Koichi, wondering if he should say anything. “Hey Koichi, ready to go?”

            “Yep, let’s do this. Taka went home, so it’s just me.” Koichi followed Yukke. “Everything okay? Taka’s not sick, is he?” Yukke was being careful, he knew something was seriously wrong.

            “No, he’s not sick, he just left.” _Fucking Taka, had to ruin this._  “Oh, okay.” Yukke just shrugged it off. _Best not to say anything, Tatsu will figure it out._

            Yukke lead Koichi through the maze of rooms to the dressing room. Sato was the first to notice Taka wasn’t there, but Yukke gave him a look that said, ‘ _don’t ask’_.

            “Hey Koichi, enjoy the show?” Miya was also getting the hint on not to ask about Taka.

            “Yah, it was awesome, you guys killed it!” Trying to sound upbeat, but Koichi failed miserably. Tatsu stood in front of Koichi and looked at him.

            “What happened? I can tell something’s wrong.” Tatsu leaned in to talk to Koichi. “It’s nothing…really.” Koichi went over and sat on the couch.

            Tatsu knelt in front of Koichi, leaning with his hand on Koichi’s thighs. Koichi was almost tearing up, looking at the others, Tatsu could tell he wanted to talk.

            “Guys could you maybe go start loading gear please?” Tatsu looked over his shoulder at his friends. “Yah, that’s fine, we can do that.” Yukke nodded his head towards the doors and they left Tatsu and Koichi alone.

            “Tell me what’s wrong, is it Taka? Is he okay? What happened?” Koichi struggled on how to explain what happened with Taka in the bathroom.

            “I’m not even sure what happened really. During intermission, Taka and I went to the bar to grab a few drinks, suddenly, he grabs me by the arm, drags me into the bathroom shoves me in stall and tries to kiss me.” Koichi stared at his hands.

            “Shit, that little fuck…” snarled Tatsu.  “No, it’s not like that! We um… have kissed before, and um, have made out, and he did something like this when we were shopping for clothes, he said I looked hot, and then grabbed me in the dressing room, but that time I let him kiss me.”

            Tatsu sees a single tear drop sliding down Koichi’s cheek, he wipes it away with his thumb. “I always thought that it was sort of …just fun, kissing him. He’s the first man I’ve ever done anything with but Taka has had boyfriends in the past, but...”

             Tatsu sits on the floor, studying Koichi’s face, puzzled on what to say. _It’s obvious, do I tell him? Should I tell him what to do?_

            “Okay, take this with a grain of salt, from someone who doesn’t really know you, but it sounds to me like Taka is in love with you. It’s gone beyond just kissing for fun, Kou. He has feelings for you.”

            “I love him, but not like I love… well anyone else. He’s my best friend, has been since I moved here. The one night we …uh, played around, it got pretty hot and heavy, but we both were under the assumption that it was just some weird make out session.” Koichi was looking at his feet, tears dripping.

            “So, you have feelings for him, but not like you have feelings for…” Tatsu’s breathing became shallow.

            “You.” Whispered Koichi.

            “Do you really have those sorts of feelings about me, Kou? I mean, shit, we’ve only been around each for less than 12 hours, we’ve never gone on a date or anything. How do you know?”

            Koichi looked up, Tatsu reached out and brushed Koichi’s hair back behind his ear, softly running his finger down Koichi’s neck, reaching for his wrist, Tatsu kissed his palm gently.

            “I know what I feel about you, Kou. You’re special, I don’t know how I know this, but I can feel it in my gut, I can’t stop thinking about you, dreaming about you. I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a very long time. And now I’m going to assume you feel the same way?”

            Koichi nodded. “I feel the same way. You caused me to almost pass out, remember? I can’t explain it either, I just want to…” Tatsu got up on his knees cupped Koichi’s face in his hands and kissed Koichi gently.  Koichi leaned in, forehead to forehead. “Please…”

            Tatsu leaned in, gently placing his mouth against Koichi’s soft silky lips. Running his tongue over Koichi’s bottom lip, pressing against Koichi’s mouth, begging for entrance. Koichi whimpered and slid his tongue between Tatsu’s lips. Tatsu scooted closer to Koichi, wedging himself between Koichi’s legs, running his hands up his thighs. Koichi tightened his legs around Tatsu’s torso, reaching up to run his fingers through Tatsu’s long silky hair. Running his hands all over Koichi’s body, Tatsu tried feeling every inch he could reach, but not wanting to push further than what Koichi was comfortable with. Breaking the kiss, Tatsu leaned in and hugged Koichi tightly, breathing in the smell of his hair.  As Koichi and Tatsu were hugging, Miya comes back in the room, letting them know that the gear had been loaded, they were ready to go.

            “We need to get back to the studio to unload the truck, do you want a ride home?”

            “No, that’s okay, I don’t live far, and right now I think a walk would do me good.” Too much shit on my mind, Koichi thought.  

            “Can I call you later? Will you be up for a while?” _Please say yes._

            “I think I’ll have a hard time sleeping tonight, so yah, call me when you can, I’d like that a lot.” Koichi got up, and walked to the door. Tatsu caught him by the wrist, drawing him into his body, leaned down and kissed Koichi, stroking his hair and his back.

            Okay, I’ll call you in a bit. Be safe getting home okay?” Tatsu pulled away and they left the dressing room.

            As Tatsu was watching as Koichi walked to the train station, Yukke came up from behind, placing his hand on Tatsu’s shoulder.  “Everything okay with Koichi? I mean you guys looked like _everything_ was great.”

            “Well everything IS great between me and Koichi. But not so much with Koichi and Taka.” Tatsu looked over Yukke’s shoulder at Sato who was getting in the van. “I’m not so sure the Sato-Taka thing will work. I think Taka has some deep shit to figure out.”

            “That serious huh? That sucks, I was hoping to get a love connection for both of you.” Yukke walked to the van.

            Tatsu looked back down the road, Koichi was no longer in sight. _What the hell is with Taka? Shit, I don’t want this to get in our way. Maybe I should call him? Find out what the problem is? I hate this._

            Tatsu joined the others in the van. Looking back, he sees Sato staring out the window, not really saying much to the others. Maybe if Sato called Taka, he could find out what was going on.  “Hey, Sato? You should give Taka a call tomorrow, make sure he’s not sick or anything. He really didn’t give Koichi a reason for leaving early.”

            “Yah, I might do that, I was really hoping we could hang out after the show.” Sato didn’t know what to think about Taka right now. Was the kid interested in him? Was this going to be difficult? Why did he leave tonight? “Maybe I’ll call him tonight instead, see if he’s okay.”

            “Probably a good idea, he left in a hurry.” Yukke thought that the problem had to be between Koichi and Taka, and it was obviously not one sided.

~~

            Taka left the club, holding back his tears until he was somewhere that no one would see him. He leaned against a wall, and the tears just let loose. _What the fuck am I doing to Koichi? Why can’t just be happy for him?_ Taka cried until he had no tears, then slowly turned and decided to walk the few miles home. Why did Kou reject his kiss this time? How was it so different from the dressing room the other day? Kou told him he loved him, but then…that was in like a ‘I love you as a friend’ thing. Looking at his watch, he figured that Koichi would be hanging out with Tatsu and the others about now, probably going to some cute little diner to grab food, then who knows what after. _I should be there with him, but I should be with Sato_ , shit…the guy even made an extra trip to see him at the HBG the other night.

            It took Taka a little over an hour to walk home, all the while he tried to figure a way to fix the fuck up he had created. He decided to grab more beer at the konbini by his house, figuring it was a good night to get drunk. As the night progressed, Taka got more than just drunk, he got hammered. When he tried to get up to pee, he fell over and landed on his hands and knees, this set off another round of the Taka Pity Party. He finally made it upright, went to the bathroom and on the way back to his bed, grabbed the last beer. He had closed his eyes, only to lurch up because he had spilled his beer on the bed. SHIT!  He tried to decide if he wanted to just leave the bed wet with beer, or change his sheets; Wet Beer sheets it is! Taka stripped down to his shorts, laid on top of the beer soaked sheets and closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Just as he had rolled over and put the pillow over his head, his phone buzzed. _Unknown Name_ flashed on the screen.

            “…ullo?’ Taka was sloppy.

            “Taka? It’s Sato, um, you okay? You’re not sick, are you? Koichi told us you left during the intermission, I just wanted to call and see if you’re okay.”

            Taka couldn’t believe it, Sato was calling him, checking on him. Koichi hadn’t even called him yet.  “…m’fine, just tired…s’Kou with you?” Sato could tell he was drunk, not tired, and this worried him more than a little.  “No, Koichi left hours ago, you haven’t heard from him then?”

            “No…he hasn’t bothered to call me…bastard _” Damn, why did I just say that_?

            “Hey, are you sure you’re alright? I can come over if you want, you don’t sound too good.” Now Sato was really concerned. “…told you, m’fine damnit! Leave me the fuck alone” Taka hung up on Sato. _God damn him for calling me now! What the fuck...GOD DAMNIT!_

~~

            Sato put down his phone, shit, that boy’s in trouble, but why? _Maybe I should call Tatsu, and he can talk to Koichi_.  “Hey, Sato, what’s up? Did you talk to Taka?” Tatsu sounded anxious.

            “Yah, I talked to him, but he’s either really sick or wicked drunk, I’m guessing drunk, because he hung up on me, only after telling me to leave him the fuck alone.  Dude, he didn’t sound good at all.” Tatsu paused, “Well let me call Koichi in a bit and see what he says. This all sounds really serious, not like Taka’s just sick, but there’s something else going on.”

            “I thought I made a pretty good impression on him, guess I was wrong. Maybe just let it go. He’s obviously not interested in me, and that’s okay.” Sato was trying to blow this off much as he had before.

            “Uh…I think it’s something else, but I can’t say anything right now, so just hang tough. We’ll get this straightened out, I’m going to call Koichi right now. I’ll see you tomorrow at rehearsal.” Tatsu hung up.  _Shit, this is worse than I thought. Taka has it hard for Koichi, but what can I do to fix it?_

            Taka rang Koichi up. “Hey, it’s Tatsu, you get home okay?”

            “Hi, yah, just walked in. You guys all done for the night?” Koichi’s heartrate went up again at the sound of Tatsu’s voice.

            “Yep, all done. Hey, um…Sato called Taka tonight, and he didn’t sound too good, Sato thinks he was really drunk, he even told Sato to fuck off.” Tatsu was trying to be gentle.

            Koichi groaned, _what the fuck, Taka? Really? Fucking drunk and telling other people to fuck off?_  “Sato’s kind of upset, he really likes Taka and thought that he had hit it off with him, but now Sato’s going back to blowing things off, like he always does.”

            “Okay, shit…I’m not sure what to do. Can’t really do much tonight, but I’ll have to deal with it tomorrow. Um…” Koichi hesitated for a second. “...thanks for tonight, I mean…listening to me and stuff.”

            “I wish we would have had more time together, like just you and me, not having to deal with anything. I want to get to know you better Kou…you don’t care if I call you that, do you?”

            _Shit…how do I say it without sounding needy_. “I’d like that actually, me too…um getting to know you too.” _Do I say anything about him kissing me?_

            “Kou, just to let you know, I’m serious about you and me, I’m not playing any games. I’ve been alone for a long time, longer than I wanted to. You’re the first person that has been able to break through my self -imposed barrier. Can we see each other tomorrow? Do you have to work?”

            “I want to too…get to know you better that is. I am working tomorrow, but so is Taka, so I’m not sure if you should come by or not. Can I call you before work tomorrow and let you know?” Koichi didn’t want Tatsu around if Taka was going to be all weird again.

            “I understand, just call me any time before you go to work, not too early though, I’m not a morning person at all.” Koichi could hear the smile through the phone. “Okay, I won’t call before noon at the earliest.”

            “One more thing,” Tatsu whispered “I’d really like to kiss you again, this time for a lot longer, and for a different reason. Not that I didn’t like kissing you tonight, but I want it to be for all the right reasons, not just comfort.”

            Koichi caught himself breathing shallow, almost breathless. “…I’d um…yes, that would be nice.”

            “Oyasuminasai, Kou.” Tatsu whispered.

            “Good night.”


	7. Chapter 7

Hung over, pale and sweaty, Taka looked like he was near death when he arrived at work that day. Koichi decided to avoid Taka, keeping his distance throughout the day. Taka was going to have to come to him to apologize, he had done nothing wrong. Taka needed to take the first step, but only managed a ‘hey’, in passing to Koichi. _He’s acting like I’m the problem, not him. Asshole_. Koichi assumed that this was the end of their friendship, as he could sense no feelings of remorse from Taka. Leaving Taka to wallow in his own misery, Koichi kept busy with assisting customers, and general back of store work.

            Late in the afternoon, Koichi’s phone buzzed in his pocket, it was Tatsu. “Got a second to talk?”

            “Yah, hold on a minute.” Koichi turned to Taka. “I’m going on break.” not waiting for a reply.

            “Sorry I didn’t call you, I didn’t sleep well and woke up late,” Koichi was supposed to call Tatsu before work.  

            “Sato wants to try talking to him, when he’s sober, and when you or I aren’t around.” Tatsu was hoping to get Koichi to talk to Taka.

            Koichi growled “Well, honestly, right now I don’t want to be around him. He hasn’t said he’s sorry for what he did at the club, he hasn’t said shit to me all day, and I really don’t care.

            “You don’t really mean that, do you? I mean this isn’t the worst thing that could happen.” Tatsu was surprised to hear anger in Koichi’s voice.

            “Yah, I do mean it. He forced himself on me, that’s not what friends do, if he doesn’t have the balls to apologize to me, then I’m not wasting any more time on him.” Tatsu could hear the shaking in Koichi’s voice.  “Just give it a few days, he might come around. He’s probably embarrassed as hell right now, and he might not know how to approach you right this second.”  This is not good, he can’t really mean this. Sure, Taka tried to kiss him, but breaking a long friendship up because of this? Not good, there’s something else going on besides this kiss.

            “I’ll give him till the weekend to apologize, if he doesn’t, that’s it, I’m out. I’ll have to work with him, but I may try to change my shifts so I don’t have to see him.” This gave Taka a whole week to come to Koichi and apologize.  “Fair enough.” Tatsu ended the call, with the promise of calling Koichi later that night to talk.  

            Taka was at the counter talking to Sato when Koichi got back from break. He could feel the tension, so he hid in the back, giving Taka some privacy. “What do you want?” _Shit, why is he even here? I told him to basically fuck off last night._

            “Um…to talk to you? Or at least let you know something.” Sato was hoping that this was not a lost cause. Taka looked suspicious. “Did Koichi put you up to this? He doesn’t have the guts to talk to me?”

            “This isn’t about Koichi, it’s about you and me. Look, I like you and I’d like to get to know you better, talk to you without anyone else around, and not over the counter. I know you’re busy so I’ll get to the point. Will you go out with me tomorrow for lunch?”

            “Lunch? Um…are you sure? I do remember that I hung up on you last night, I think I even told you to fuck off, so why take me to lunch?” Taka couldn’t believe this guy, really? _He now wants to take me to lunch? Un-fucking-real._

            “Yes, I’m sure, very sure. So, is it a date? I can either pick you up at your place or meet you somewhere.” Sato was eager to get Taka alone, to figure out what the hell is going on between him and Koichi.  “Uh…you can pick me up if you really want to.”

            “Great! How about one o’clock tomorrow? Just text me your address.”

            “Okay” Taka was having a hard time realizing this.

~~

            Sato stood outside Taka’s flat feeling both nervous and excited, knowing that today may be an uphill battle. How could he convince Taka to take a chance, a leap of faith and agree to go out with him? The biggest problem was Koichi…Taka was in love with him, and trying to pry Taka’s heart away from his best friend would be difficult.

            “I have a nice place picked out, nothing fancy, just outside the city.” He held the car door open for Taka. There was little conversation, mostly just awkward silence during the thirty-minute ride to the café. _Why is he doing this? I told him to fuck off, I don’t understand him at all._

            “Okay, we’re here…” Taka looked up and saw that they had parked in front of a small café that sat opposite a stretch of beach walk. “This is nice.”

            “I figured it would be quiet here, so we can talk.” Sato was smiling, trying to make Taka feel at ease.  “Talk huh...I’m sure that will be fun.” _Why is he even bothering doing this_?

            “It will be, don’t worry so much, I’m not going to yell at your or anything.” Sato was trying to sound positive. Entering the café, they were seated at a table with a beautiful view of the beach walk. They ordered lunch and as they were eating, Sato decided to take a chance.

            “You’re in love with Koichi, aren’t you?”

            “What…I don’t…” Taka stammered.

            “It’s okay, I get it… really. But is he in love with you, is the bigger question.” Sato had stopped eating, looking Taka in the eye. Taka looked down at his plate…tears pushing to escape. “Probably not, not after what I did, no.”

            “Okay, want to tell me about it? I’m not here to judge you Taka, I just want to understand all of this.”  Taka started explaining his history with Koichi. Sato was genuinely shocked about the attempted rape that happened the night Taka and Koichi met.

            “That creep would have run off with more than a busted nose if it had been me.” Sato snorted. As Taka ran through his friendship with Koichi, Sato started to understand how the current situation came to be what it was.

            “So, you’ve had other boyfriends, but Koichi never has? That explains a lot.”

            When Taka came to the incident at the concert, what he did to Koichi, tears started creeping from his eyes, tears of regret and guilt. He looked up at Sato, expecting rejection, instead he was faced with compassion.

            “Well, not the best move on your part, that’s for sure.” Sato was smiling. “But, I don’t think Koichi will throw away your friendship as long as you talk to him…you need to tell him how you feel.” Taka’s head whipped up. “Confess? Uh…but he doesn’t want to hear that…not from me at least. He’s really into Tatsu, what good is it if I tell him how I feel?”

            “The only way you two can get back on track as friends is to tell him, truthfully, how you feel. You don’t have to demand that he becomes your lover, but he deserves the truth.” _I’m the one that wants you as my lover._ “But what about you? You...uh…said that you liked me.” Taka was almost whispering.

            “I do like you…a lot and I’d liked to know you better, but I don’t want you hiding your feelings for someone else from me, I want you 100% truthful, no doubts.” Taka could tell Sato was being earnest. Sato reached across the table and whipped a tear from Taka’s cheek. “Give me a chance, that’s all I ask for, a chance.”

            Taka and Sato finished lunch and walked towards the car. “Hey, it’s really nice here, unless you have somewhere else to be, let’s go walk a little.” Sato held out his hand, Taka looked at Sato then shyly took his hand. “We talked a lot about you…any questions about me?”

            Taka looked into Sato’s eyes, trying to focus on what he wanted to say. “Just one…why me?”  They kept walking, Sato smiled. “I saw you at the first live…you were standing behind Koichi, you were jumping and singing like everyone else.” Sato paused, took Taka by the hand again, and led him to a bench. “Sit, please.” Taka sat down, not knowing what to expect.

            “Look, I’ve been alone for while… Miya and Yukke both have been in relationships forever, now Tatsu has Koichi, but I’ve always just had…you know, fuck buddies.” Sato turned and looked at the ocean. “I wasn’t looking for anyone, but…”

            “You saw me? You saw me in the crowd? How could you have picked me out?”

            “I figured out that Koichi was the one Tatsu was so hot and bothered over…but you” Sato turned and walked over to taka, squatting down in front of him. “You were so…don’t laugh…You were like glowing or something!” Taka giggled behind his hand.

            “Hey, I said don’t laugh!” Sato reached up and pulled Taka’s hand away from his mouth. “You don’t even know how beautiful or sexy or desirable you are, do you?”

            “Me? Koichi’s the only one that has said I was hot, I didn’t take it too seriously though.” Taka’s face felt warm. They stared at each other for a moment.  “Let me show you how desirable you are.”   _Please_

            Taka looked at Sato. “Okay.” He whispered. Sato reached up, cupping Taka’s face in his hands, leaned in, gently kissed him. His kiss was so gentle, so sweet, it almost made Taka cry. He whimpered as Sato’s tongue swept across his bottom lip, dancing across his mouth. Taka pulled back. “Um…are you sure about this? I mean, I kinda treated you like shit, why give _me_ a chance?”

            “All I want is to make you look at me and only me.” Sato leaned back in, this time a bit more aggressive with his kiss. Still cupping Taka’s face, he moaned. “You are just so delicious, just let me show you what I can give you… Please say yes”. Taka pulled out of the kiss, breathlessly he said “Yes”. Pulling Sato back in a kiss, pressing their foreheads together, Sato looked at Taka.

            “We’d better stop, we don’t want to get arrested, come on, I’ll take you home.” On the drive home, Sato encouraged Taka to talk to Koichi.  “Promise me you’ll talk to Koichi…before you go back to work. I’d hate to see you lose a friend over this.” Sato wanted things back to normal, he wants to see Taka smile. “I still owe both you a backstage pass, and I want both of you to come.”

            “I’ll call Kou when I get home, see if he’ll agree to meet up.” Taka was apprehensive about meeting with Koichi.  “Okay, but you’ll call me and tell me how it went, right?” The drive home was quiet, Taka deep in thought about what to say to Koichi.

            Sato pulls the car up to Taka’s flat. “Thanks for all of this, today I mean. You didn’t have to do this, but I do appreciate it, really.”

            Sato leans over and grabs Taka, kissing him deep and passionately. “I want everything between us to be perfect, when the time is right.  You’re not just some random guy, Taka, please believe me, the relationship I want with you is no joke, I’m not looking for a fuck buddy, I’m looking for an equal, loving partner. So please, believe me…okay?”

            “Okay, I believe you” Getting out of the car Taka turns and bends down. “Thank you for lunch…and listening to me and for setting me right. Call me later if you want.” Sato watches him go upstairs to his flat. Driving away, he thinks everything will turn out for the best, maybe now, he won’t be alone anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

            Koichi had just gotten out of the shower, still dripping water from his hair, and his phone buzzed. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he sees it’s Tatsu.

            His head start to buzz, “hello?”

            “Hi Kou, it’s Tatsu, what’s up?”

            “Uh, I just got out of the shower, just standing here, dripping water on my floor.”

            Tatsu moans softly as he pictures Koichi, wet, dripping and in a towel, the vision making his cock twitch. Koichi hears the moan, which in turn makes him reach down and fondle his cock.  “Uh…yah. Do you have to work tonight?” Tatsu was trying to regain composure.

            "No, I’m off, why?” Koichi’s breath stutters.

            “Well, I want to take you on a date…our official first date. Are you good with that?” Tatsu fumbling a bit trying to get the words out.

            “I’d like that…yes. What do you have in mind? I’ve never been on an official first date before.” teased Koichi.

            “I don’t want to give anything away, it’s a surprise.”

            “But I need to know what to wear, I can’t just dress all random, I need to know.”

            “Umm…well, don’t dress for a concert, but don’t dress for a funeral either.” Tatsu was being vague on purpose.  “That doesn’t help me at all!” Koichi whined.

            “I’m sure whatever you choose will be perfect, and probably sexy enough to torment me!” snorted Tatsu. “Look, I’ll pick you up at around noon, so just be ready.”

            “Ugh! Yah, yah, I’ll be ready. You’re just mean! Not telling me where we’re going!” Koichi giggled. As he hung up the phone, he started to try to figure out what to wear.

            “Not a concert, not a funeral…shit! That gives me nothing! Don’t panic, I have something…I hope” Koichi started to go through his clothes, hoping that something would magically appear that would work.

~~

            “I think I just screwed myself!” Tatsu was whining to Miya, “I asked Koichi out on a date, our official first date, before I had figured out somewhere to take him!” He threw his head back on the couch, and covered his eyes.

            “Well that was a stupid move, you didn’t think this through very well, now did you?” Miya was having fun with this.

            “Miya, don’t tease him! You had no clue to where to take _me_ on our first date.” Miya’s boyfriend Shinya gave Miya a stern look. “Help your friend for fucks sake, this is important to him!”

            “Thanks Shin, and it _is_ super important! I have to make sure I make a good impression on Koichi!”

            “Fine! I’ll help. So, what _don’t_ you want to do? Like you don’t want to take him to a movie or a local café.” Trying to narrow it down, Miya throws out suggestions.

            “What about driving down to Enoshima and take Koichi for a picnic on the beach? That’s where Miya and I had our first date, and first kiss, and umm…some other firsts.” Miya raised an eyebrow at Shinya. “Do you mind not giving away our love life?” Tatsu laughed at the two.

            “Enoshima sounds like a good idea, but that won’t take up the whole day.”

            “You can always fall back on the good old fashion romantic dinner Tatsu-kun, I know it always makes me feel special when Miya takes me out for dinner. You already know where you should take him, they’re always discreet and the food is wonderful.” Shinya was playing with Miya’s hair as he was talking.

            “True, nobody I know has ever had a problem with the restaurant, never anyone there that shouldn’t be.  Shinya, you’re a god-send!” Tatsu popped up and smooched Shinya on the cheek, making Shinya blush. Tatsu left Miya’s place and went home to plan the lunch menu, well to order the food, Tatsu didn’t cook but knew a wonderful local café that he often ordered from. Packing up the essentials, Tatsu would pick up the food on his way to get Koichi. _Why do I feel so nervous about this? We both feel the same way about each other, so why do I feel like something else may happen?_

~~

            Koichi laid on the floor, staring at the ceiling, not being able to focus on one thing. His thoughts were random; _Tatsu, clothes, work, Taka, back to Tatsu, where are we going, what should I wear, will Taka ever talk to me again, how did it go with Sato, are Sato and Taka dating, shit, what am I doing, Tatsu’s voice_. Finally, he decided to get up and at least look at his clothes, and try to figure out what to wear, he’d start with that, then move to the next step.

            Koichi ended up wearing some black skinny jeans, no holes, a white t shirt and an oversized jacket. Not too casual, but not funeral wear either. Putting up his hair, and adding a tiny bit of makeup, he checked himself in the mirror and was satisfied, hopefully Tatsu would be too. Now that he was dressed, he sat around and waited, for two hours! _Shit, I got ready too early._

            The anticipation of seeing Tatsu, spending the day with him, had Koichi on edge. What would they talk about, they barely knew each other but have already kissed…shit? But there was something there, waiting just under the surface, Koichi knew Tatsu felt it, just by the way he kissed him. A kiss can say a thousand words, and with the two kisses he’d had from Tatsu, Koichi was sure of one thing, they needed to be together.

            Finally, Tatsu texted Koichi to come downstairs, taking one last look in the mirror, Koichi took a deep breath, locked the door behind him and went down to Tatsu. He came around the corner and his breath hitched. _Shit, he’s fucking beautiful! How…why did he choose me_? What was it about the two that there was an undeniable connection?

            “Hi, you…um…shit, you look great!” Tatsu flushed, feeling hot just looking at Koichi.  “Not a concert, but not a funeral? Did I get close at least?” Koichi was laughing.

            “You pretty much nailed it, Kou” Tatsu walked up and grabbed Koichi by the shoulders and kissed him, deep and slow. “God, I…uh…shit, we’d better get in the car before I take you upstairs and we never leave.” Tatsu opened the door for Koichi. _Like that would be a bad thing_?

            “So, where are we going?” Koichi could feel the sexual tension, his cock twitching ever so lightly.  “It’s a surprise, so just sit back and enjoy the ride.” Tatsu pulled away from Koichi’s flat.

            “I …uh…had a hard time choosing something for us to do, I didn’t want to like do a stupid café date or anything, I wanted it to be special. I hope you don’t have anything planned for the entire day, because we’ll be out late tonight.” Tatsu wasn’t going to tell Koichi about the plans. “Nope, I’m yours all day…until whenever I get home.” _God…it’s going to be hard to control myself today…shit!_

            Tatsu took a scenic route along the highway that followed the coast line. They chatted about mundane things, and tried to avoid the Taka topic, although it was just under the surface. Finally, Tatsu did try to bring it up. “So, no Taka yet?”

            Koichi stared out the window, not turning to face Tatsu. “No, nothing, I’m pretty sure that’s it for our friendship. I’ll have to arrange something at work, so we’re not always working the same shift. Oh well, guess it wasn’t as good as I thought.”

 _This is bad, I need to talk to Sato, today if I can_. Tatsu tried to think of some way he could get in touch with Sato, without Koichi knowing. He didn’t want to hide this from Kou, but he couldn’t think of any other way to get a feel for what was going on with Taka.

            “Well, his loss I guess.” Tatsu slowed the car down and pulled into a parking lot. “Here we are.”

            “Where are we? I don’t recognize this beach.” It was a beautiful beach, Koichi was stunned. “Enoshima, Miya actually took Shinya on their first date here. It was hard picking a place, and I wanted it to be special.”

            “Shinya? As in Dir En Grey, Shinya? That’s Miya’s partner? Damn! For how long?” This totally caught Koichi by surprise. “Um… like six or seven years now, I think? It’s not widely known in the general public, the rock community keeps most of their relationships on the downlow, because management doesn’t want the fans to know that we have actual lives.” Tatsu had opened the trunk of the car and retrieved a large basket. Grabbing Koichi by the hand, he led him down some steps to the beach. Finding an unoccupied umbrella, Tatsu set about putting the picnic out.

            “Holy shit, you went all out didn’t you?” Koichi was amazed at what had been packed.

            “Well, I did have a little help. I know the owner of a café near the studio, he helped me pick out the right stuff.” Tatsu blushed.  “Right stuff? Shit, you have _ALL_ the stuff! This is amazing!” Koichi took off his shoes and sat down on the blanket, helping Tatsu with unpacking. The two then enjoyed a nice lunch, quietly talking about their lives, families and typical first date stuff, mainly just enjoying each other’s company.

            “Can I…ask you a serious question?” Koichi couldn’t wait anymore.

            “Sure…ask me anything. I’ll answer it if I can.”

            “That first night at the HBG, when, I uh…almost fainted. What did you feel the moment you saw me, like for the first time?” Koichi couldn’t believe he was asking this.

            “Well, we locked eyes, and I know this sounds corny, but it was like a bell, or a tone or something, that just sort of rang in my mind, I can’t really explain it. You were there, and it was like you had always been there, in my soul, heart…whatever. I just knew…it’s hard for me to explain.” Koichi watched Tatsu as he struggled with the words.

            “What about you? I know you like sort of went all pale and pukey, do you know why? I’m sure you lied about not eating enough that day.” Tatsu laughed lightly.

            “I…Uh, guess it was sort of the same. I felt like a thud in my chest, like a heaviness, I couldn’t breathe, I got dizzy. All I knew is, at that very moment, it was only you, nobody else.” Koichi groaned, falling back on the blanket, covering his eyes, embarrassed.  Tatsu leaned over Koichi gently moved his arm away from his face. “Kou, look at me.” Koichi opened his eyes and looked up at Tatsu.

            “Does it matter really how we got here? All I know is that I have this connection with you, I don’t know how to explain it, but I can show you.” Tatsu leaned down, and licked Koichi’s lips, pressing into a deep, gentle, slow-moving dance of a kiss. Koichi mewled against Tatsu’s kiss, welcoming his tongue.

            Laying across Koichi’s chest Tatsu stroked his lover’s hair, running his fingers through it, trailing his fingers down Kou’s neck, and across his cheek. Koichi moaned, increasing desire flowed through his body, he arched his back against Tatsu, wanting more from him. Tatsu sat up, his fingers ghosting over Koichi’s collarbone.

            “It’s much too early in the day for this, I still have other plans for us.” Tatsu had a naughty smile. “What? More stuff? Awww, man!” Koichi pretended to pout.

            “Shit! Kou, don’t do that! Do not stick that bottom lip out at me! I might not be able to freaking control myself, and this is so not the place for me to do those types of things to you!” Tatsu reached down and kissed Koichi on the nose. “Come on, sexy. Let’s get packed up.”


	9. Chapter 9

          Taka still had three hours until he had to be at work. Sitting on his bed, leaning up against the wall, he replayed everything that Sato said to him, concerning Koichi. Sato had advised him to call Kou and apologize, or confess, but did one count as both? Should he just apologize, or should he just confess, which would be sort of an apology? Should he do it over the phone? He didn’t want to do it at work, that may cause a scene.  
So, if he called, what would he say? _“Hey, Kou, I love you, like I want to fuck you type of love, but uh, we can’t do that because friends don’t make good lovers and I like Sato, sorry for the kiss at the concert._ ” Yah, no, that’s not what I need to say. Shit! Looking at the clock, Taka got ready for work, hoping for a semi slow night at the HBG, that way he could concentrate on what he’d say to Koichi.

            Taka didn’t have time to think about what he’d say to Koichi, as per usual for the summer the HBG was busy, almost too busy. He was working with a new person, Aki, that had been hired for the summer and it was not going well. Finally, he just told the kid to stand at the register and he’d make the drinks. At 11pm, he told Aki to go on break and Taka parked himself at the front counter. Leaning on his elbows he tried to come up with what was going to say to Koichi, unfortunately nothing productive came of it. Aki came back from break, and the night continued to be busy and 1am couldn’t come fast enough for Taka. He rushed through closing, letting Aki go, and on the way home, stopped at the konbini for beer, but reminding himself NOT to get drunk and drunk dial Koichi. Getting up enough sober courage, he called Koichi, but got voicemail instead.

            “Hey Kou, it’s Taka, um…can we talk please? Give me a call.” He was slightly relieved that Kou didn’t answer, but then it just left things hanging, once again. “Well, I put myself out there, let’s see what happens.”

~~

            “So, where are we going now?” Koichi didn’t know what to expect, Tatsu had been surprising him all day.  “We have two choices: You pick your fave izakaya or we go to a restaurant that caters to the music industry, they’re very discrete and nobody will bother us. Your choice.” Tatsu secretly hoped for the restaurant. “I don’t have a fave izakaya, too expensive for me, I do have a fave udon place…but” Koichi was embarrassed at the udon comment. “Okay, restaurant it is! I think you’ll enjoy it, we all go, other bands as well.” _Oh god, what if I see someone from another band? Shit, I need to keep it under control._ Koichi was worried about being seen as a star struck groupie.

            “Am I dressed okay for this place? Sounds kinda upscale.” Koichi looked down at his clothes. “They cater to the music industry, if anything you’re over-dressed.” Tatsu proceeded to tell Koichi stories of other musicians and some of the weird clothing they had shown up in. Pulling up to the restaurant, Tatsu gave the valet the keys to the car. With a hand on the small of Koichi’s back, Tatsu guided him to the door. “Welcome. Nice to see you again Tatsuro-sama, and welcome to your guest as well.” The doorman bowed low. “Thank you, could we have my usual table if it’s available please?”

            “Of course, right this way please.” As they made their way through the room, Koichi saw several famous musicians, all of them said hello to Tatsu, nodding to Koichi, but didn’t invade their privacy. Tatsu held Koichi’s chair for him, then settled across from him.

            “Are you okay? You seem a little pale.” Tatsu looked concerned, Koichi was almost shaking. “Uh…I just…there are famous musicians here!” He glanced over his shoulder, not wanting to stare. “Yes, well this is a place we all come to knowing we won’t be bothered by anyone.” Tatsu was grinning, Koichi was star struck and it was fucking adorable!

            “Can I get a bottle of wine please, and two of the usual? Thank you.” Koichi didn’t even notice the waiter had walked up. “Wine? Now I know I’m out of my element.” Giggled Koichi. “Would you like something else? Anything you want, just ask” Tatsu was leaning on his elbows, taking in everything he could about Koichi. “No, wine is okay, thanks.” Koichi was looking at Tatsu through his bangs, biting his lower lip.

            “Hey, Tatsu, Koichi.” Miya had walked up to their table. “Didn’t expect to see you here, thought you went to Enoshima?” Koichi was staring at the man with Miya. “We did, but it wasn’t an all-day trip.” The man with Miya elbowed him in the ribs. “Oh, my bad! Koichi, this is Shinya, my husband.” Shinya shook Koichi’s hand. “Hi…nice to meet you.” Koichi whispered.

            “Oh! You are adorable! Hi Koichi, I’ve heard a lot about you lately. You’ve made quite the impression on our Tatsu.” Shinya looked at Tatsu, laughing softly. “You have?” Koichi turned and looked at Tatsu, eyebrows raised. “Don’t worry, it was all good, Koichi. Tatsu’s a lucky man, you are absolutely adorable!” Miya took Shinya by the hand, turning to go back to their table. “We just stopped to say hi, enjoy your dinner.”

            Koichi whispered good bye, then turning to Tatsu, “What have you said about me? Hmm?” leaning in, he waited. “That you’re special, sexy and yes adorable and that yes, I know I’m lucky” _I can’t believe your mine_. Before either one could say more, their dinner had arrived and they settled in to eat. Koichi couldn’t believe how wonderful the food was, and the wine was even better, making him more than a little sleepy and slightly dizzy.

            “Kou…I think we need to get you home, you’re starting to fade on me.” Tatsu helped Koichi up, and got him to the car. “Mmm…warm…Tatsu?” Koichi was trying to stay awake. “Yes Kou?” Koichi turned his head, looking at Tatsu through hooded eyes, “Can I have you forever?” his eyes were closing as he spoke. Tatsu’s breath skipped. “Yes baby, you can have me forever.”

            Koichi was snoring softly when Tatsu pulled up to the apartment. “Hey babe, you’re home.” Brushing is fingers across his lover’s face, Tatsu tried to wake Koichi. “No…want…mmm, warm Tatsu” It took every ounce of self-control by Tatsu, not to carry Koichi upstairs and fuck him into next week... _How can he look so innocent and so fuckable at the same time_? “Kou, If I carry you upstairs right now, I think we’re going to regret it.” Tatsu was being firm. “Pfft…okay, I’m awake” Koichi sighed. “Come here sexy.” Tatsu leaned over, cupping Koichi’s chin, and kissed him, moaning into Kou’s mouth. “Mm…Fuck, you just taste so damned good!” Koichi looked hopefully at Tatsu “You can come upstairs with me, you know.” Tatsu paused, “No, Kou, not yet. I want it to be perfect and I want us to know each other better. I told you, you’re special, so get your sexy ass upstairs to bed, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Koichi pouted, but got out of the car, waved to Tatsu and went upstairs. Falling onto his bed, he curled up, smiling and feeling Tatsu’s kisses, still burning on his lips.

~~

            The next morning, Koichi saw Taka’s message flashing on his phone, conflicted whether to listen to it or simply delete it. Remembering Tatsu’s advice, he pushed play.

            “Hey Kou, it’s Taka, um…can we talk please?”

            “Shit, I guess I owe him a chance.” Koichi and Taka both worked that day, giving Koichi an out, by using customers as a buffer from Taka. _He’d better have a huge apology ready for me._ Koichi fumed the rest of the day, replaying the incident in the bathroom at the concert. “This isn’t helping!” Koichi got up and decided to go in to work early, hoping to get there before Taka. “if he makes a scene, he’s going to be the one to leave, not me.” On the train into work, Koichi tried to prepare what he was going to say if Taka refused to apologize, trying to get his heart and head on the same page. Getting off the train and walking the block to the HBG, remembering what Tatsu said, Koichi calmed his nerves before opening the back door. There was a new kid on the register, Taka was making drinks, looking up he smiled at Koichi. “Hi, we’re already busy, thanks for coming in early, Aki is a little stressed out.” Taka tried to sound normal, even though he was on the verge of losing it. “Uh, yah sure, I’ll help with drinks.” _Well it’s too busy now to talk, but at least he’s smiling, sort of._

            For the next three hours, the business was so busy, there was no time to take breaks, let alone, talk. There were a lot of glances back and forth, but not much said. Once business had slowed enough for Aki to take a break, it left the two friends with an awkward silence.

            “Sorry I didn’t return your call, I got home really late” _Okay, I’ll make the first move_.

            “I figured you and Tatsu might have made plans since you weren’t working” Taka was looking at his feet.

            More awkward silence, the two standing at the counter, neither one wanting to start the difficult dialogue.  
            “Um, I need to say something to you Kou, so hear me out before you answer, okay?”  _Here it comes._  “Sure”

            “First, I’m sorry what happened at the concert, I had no right to do that to you.” Taka was almost whispering. “Uh…I’m in love with you Kou.” Koichi could see tears falling. “I have been since that first night we met.” Koichi’s breath caught. “I probably should have told you a long time ago, but I was afraid you would dump me as a friend.”

            “Taka…um, you never said anything, why would you think that? I’m not that shallow of a person you know.”

            “Would that have changed anything? If I had confessed, would you have gone out with me?” Taka was searching Koichi’s face for the truth. “I don’t know Taka, maybe. I can’t say for sure, I’ve never gone out with a guy before, you know that.” Now Koichi was staring at the ground.

            “That’s part of the reason I never told you, I couldn’t risk your rejection of me as a boyfriend, that might have ruined our friendship as well. So, I did nothing, it was safer that way.” 

            “Have you gone out with a guy before, Taka? I mean you just don’t randomly start liking a guy, right?   You told me you had boyfriends in high school, is that true?”

            “Yah, a few in high school, but that’s nothing you advertise, even to your best friend.”

            “I guess so. I’ve always known I liked guys, but like you said, not something you just announce.” Koichi and Taka stood at the counter, more awkward silence. Then Aki came back from break, noticing the atmosphere had changed, but said nothing. They started closing duties, not feeling comfortable enough around the new employee to continue talking. By 1am, the HBG was closed and locked up. “Kou, do you still want to talk?” Taka hoped the answer was yes.  “Yah, I think we need to, but let’s just stay here.” Tokyo Tower was lit up all night, so there was plenty of light in the patio area. Choosing a table near the wall, the friends sat down.

            “So now what, Taka? You’re in love with me, but…” Koichi left the statement open, for Taka to finish. “I know you’re not in love with me, I totally accept that, and I’m not going to try and change that either. I know how you feel about Tatsu, it’s pretty obvious he feels the same.” Taka was leaning back in his chair, staring up at the tower. “It’s clear tonight, you can see the top.”

            “Yah, usually it’s too cloudy.” Koichi looked up at the tower. “Uh, what about Sato? He seems pretty into you.” 

            “He took me to lunch yesterday, a café near the beach. I told him everything.” Taka looked at Koichi again.  “Everything! Like what we did, you know with the …” Koichi mouthed the word ‘vibe’. “Not in detail, I’m not that bad Kou.  Sato’s the one who put my head straight, admit that, uh you know, how I feel about you and stuff.” Taka went back to looking up at the tower. “He also asked me to give him a chance, you know, go with him, like a boyfriend thing.”

            “Did you say yes?” Koichi hoped so. “I told him I’d try, it’s the best I can do.” Taka glanced over at Koichi.  “So where does all this new stuff leave us, Kou? What do we do about being friends? I know I fucked up bad, I know you love me as a friend, not as a lover. So, what now?”

            “I think we both need to be more honest with each other, for sure. I still want to be best friends Taka, I know that much. How we get there, how we get over this bump, we just have to work on it, but not force it. I’m sure we can fix this. Plus, we have two really amazing guys in our lives now, that want nothing but the best for you and me. That’s a lot of support, so I think we’ll be fine, eventually.

~~

            Koichi left work that night feeling a little better after taking with Taka. He understood but did not forgive Taka’s behavior at the concert. Taka knew he had to regain Koichi’s trust. Though it was late, Koichi new Tatsu would be awake and would want to find out what happened between Koichi and Taka.

            “I’m assuming there was no bloodshed, right?” teased Tatsu. “Are you guys good then?”

            “Well, I wouldn’t say good like before, but we both understand each other’s positions now.”

            “Good, it’s at least a start.” Tatsu was hopeful.” It’s late, you should sleep.” As tempted as Tatsu was to invite himself over, he stifled his desires.

            “Pfft…okay old man.” Koichi was in the mood for a little fun. “OLD MAN? Kid I can run circles around you! Wait till I see you…I’ll show you how an old man rolls.” Fake indignation, which was funny coming from Tatsu.

            “Mm…by doing what?” purred Koichi.” If I let you catch me, what would you do to me?” Tatsu stopped breathing for a second. “Damn it Kou! Don’t fucking tease me like this!”

            “Who’s teasing? Want to come over?” Koichi was trying so hard to entice Tatsu to come over, he was starting to wonder if they’d ever have any type of sex.

            “Kou, you’re not playing fair, do you know how hard I get when I think of you? Do you even understand I want you…right fucking NOW? I want to fuck you into the wall! But, I’m doing the right thing, showing you that you’re not just a piece of ass to me.”

            Koichi immediately felt bad. “Sorry” he mumbled. “I don’t mean to tease you, it’s just…”

            “Just what, Kou?” This got Tatsu’s attention, he could hear the hesitation in Koichi’s voice. “That you’re going to leave me, that you’re going to get bored with me. I’m nobody special, you’re a fucking rock star, you can have anyone.”

            This devastated Tatsu, hear that his beautiful Koichi though that he was nothing. “I will tell you a million times, how special you are, that I want you, only you, and I will prove it every day, forever.” Koichi was crying softly, hearing it broke Tatsu’s heart. “Kou, baby, I’m falling so hard for you! I want to keep you all to myself and at the same time, show the world how beautiful you are. Please baby, don’t cry.” Tatsu was almost in tears himself, he couldn’t stand hearing the pain and doubt in Kou’s voice. He listened as Koichi sniffled and stopped crying. “Okay, I’ll try, it’s just been a rough day with the Taka thing.”

            “I understand, it’s hard to deal with what Taka has said and done. Kou, go to bed, I’ll call you in the afternoon, okay?” Koichi agreed and went to bed, still wondering about Tatsu _._

 _~~_                                                        

            Taka watches Koichi walk away, leaving him sitting by himself. He leans his head back and looks up at the tower, tears starting to slide down his cheeks. “Why Kou? Why not me?” closing his eyes, he sees Koichi’s naked body under him, kissing him, the hotness of his mouth, the tingle of his skin where Koichi’s fingers caressed him. Groaning, Taka pushes himself up from the table and starts the walk home. “What can I do now?” He has no answer.

            Climbing the stairs to his flat, he unlocks the door, slamming it shut. Padding into the kitchen, he grabs a beer and sits on the end of the bed.  Checking his phone, he sees that he has 3 messages, all from Sato. “Why the fuck does he keep calling me?” 

            “Hey, Taka it’s Sato, just wondering if everything is okay, hope you had a good day at work, call me later.”

            “Taka, it’s Sato, um...I’m getting a bit worried, call me.”

            “Okay, I don’t know if you’re ignoring me, but you call me as soon as you get home!”

 _Fuck, this guy never quits, does he?_ Grabbing another beer, Taka turns on the TV, not wanting to call Sato, at least not yet. Going through 3 more beers, Taka finally starts to relax enough to want to go to bed. Locking up the flat, he climbs into bed, tries to close his eyes, but he has a bad case of the spins. _Shit! Really? I can’t even get drunk properly anymore_. Turning on a light, just to have something to focus on, he tries to fall asleep again. The spins subside, and Taka falls into a restless sleep, the conversation with Koichi running through his mind, and into his dreams.

~~

            Taka had a hell of a night, little sleep and a lot of not so great dreams. He only wakes up when he hears his phone go off. Picking the phone up, there are 5 more calls from Sato. “Fuck, really dude?” It’s Sato, again. Groaning he answers it. “Hey, why are you calling me again?”

            “FUCK TAKA! ASSHOLE! I’ve been trying to reach you since last night, you little shit! You had me terrified! You never fucking called me back, FUCK!” _Hmm, sounds like he’s a bit pissed off._

            “Well, FYI, I got home late, then I drank some beer and passed out, so no, I didn’t hear all your phone calls. Sorry.” Taka was in no mood for this.

            “SO FUCKING WHAT? You said you’d call me when you got home from work, I expected that. That’s why when you didn’t call I got worried!”

            “Well, then maybe you shouldn’t have called me! I don’t know why you’re fucking bothering to even talk to me! I’m a fucking worthless piece of shit, I’m not worth all this effort, why the fuck would you want to be around me? I’m nothing but fucking damaged goods! Shit! I’m not worth this, you can do so much better than me! Why do you want to be with me, you know I’m in love with Koichi!” Taka was sobbing and screaming into the phone.

            There was dead silence from Sato, then, just an “Okay.” Sato hung up. “FUCK YOU!” Taka threw his phone against the wall, and flung himself face first into his pillow, screaming and sobbing. _That asshole! He has no right to worry about me._ Turning over on his back, Taka tried to calm his breathing, his head pounding from the combination of a hangover and crying. “Fucker, just fucking leave me alone.” He truly didn’t understand Sato at all! All Taka could think about was Koichi, how was he going to make Koichi see him, to love him? He had almost fallen back asleep when there was pounding on the door.

            “What the fuck?” Taka got up, as soon as he opened the door, he was flung against the wall.

            “YOU LITTLE SHITHEAD! HOW DARE YOU!” Sato pushed him against the wall, pinning his arms over his head.

            “HEY! WHA….” Stammered Taka. “What the hell are you doing?”

            “SHUT UP! YOU ARE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW!” Sato was livid. He grabbed Taka by the arms and flung him onto the bed. “SIT!” Taka was stunned into silence, watching Sato pace back and forth in front of him.

            “Okay, I want you to listen to me and you’d better not say one word until I’m done. Is that clear?” Sato had quieted down a bit, not totally as he was still mad as hell at Taka.

            “You need to hear something, you need to understand a few things. Koichi is not in love with you!” Taka looked down at the floor, tears burning behind his eyes. “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be your friend, he just does not want to be your lover, your boyfriend or your fuck buddy, is that clear?”

            “Yes, painfully so, thanks for reminding me.” Taka said sarcastically. He looked up at Sato, tears freely running down his face. This softened Sato a little, making his heart catch and his breath stop. “I’m not trying to intentionally hurt you, Taka. But you need to hear this, and you need to get it into your head. Tatsu and Koichi are together, and likely for the long haul.”

            Taka was quietly crying, tears burning so hot, he couldn’t wipe them away fast enough. Sato knelt in front of him, hands on Taka’s knees. He reached up and gently wiped tears from under Taka’s chin. Pushing his hair back, Sato cupped Taka’s face, leaning in and gently kissing him. Taka resisted at first, not wanting to fall into this trap, but with gentle persuasion, he relented, letting Sato’s tongue dance across his lips. Sato moaned, rubbing Taka’s cheek, still wiping away any residual tears that had fallen. He pressed in harder to the kiss with more urgency and passion, trying to get a response from Taka.

            “Why?” whispered Taka. “Why are you bothering with me? I’m a piece of shit, I’m nothing, why do you keep doing this?” Taka was looking down at his hands.

            “Because, you’re worth it, I know you are. You’re worth _my_ effort, you’re worth _my_ time. You’re not a piece of shit, you’re not damaged, and honestly? If I can do so much better than you, then why am I still alone? Why am I still unhappy?” Sato’s own tears started to fall. “I might be able to fuck anyone, any number of fan girls or guys, but you know what? That’s so fucking empty, so demeaning and I’m tired of it. I’m tired, Taka, tired of being alone, tired of not having someone to love, that loves me for me, not because I’m what they think a rock star is.” Sato sat back on his heels, looking at Taka, trying to get a feel for what he was thinking. “If I didn’t think you were worth it, I wouldn’t have called you over, and over, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have come  and basically bashed your door down! Oh…make sure to apologize to your neighbors for me, okay?” Sato smiled his biggest goofiest grin, making Taka really look at the man that sat before him.

            “But what about my feelings for Kou? I can’t just turn them off you know. How the hell am I going to deal with this?” He was doubtful that Sato could come up with a good enough answer, but he was wrong.  Standing up, Sato went and locked the door. Going into the bathroom, he got a warm washcloth and knelt back in front of Taka.

            “Here, wash your face, you’ll get all puffy eyed if you don’t.” Taka took the cloth, wiped his face down, handing it back to Sato when he was done. “Okay, you look better already.” Sato throws the washcloth towards the kitchen then walked back over to Taka and sat down on the bed next to him. “Do you work tonight?” Taka shook his head. “Okay then, I’m going to show you how to turn your feelings off for Koichi.” Sato leaned over and pulled the two of them down onto the bed, his arms hugging Taka. “You’re beautiful, do you know that?” Taka just shrugged. “You are perfect, you’re not damaged, you’re hurt, but I can heal that if you let me.”  Taka looked at Sato, nodded slightly, letting Sato pull him into a kiss.

            The kiss that Sato gave Taka, was meant to stun the younger man’s mind, to let Sato take control over Taka’s emotions, to blind him. With every nip, suck, and twist of his tongue, Sato poured his soul into this first real kiss, this was to be the kiss to galvanize all of Sato’s feelings, and eliminate Taka’s want of Koichi. If Sato could prove with this kiss, that Taka was worthy, wanted and desired by Sato, there would be no escape. Taka would be convinced that he and Sato’s relationship would work.

            The warmth and passion Taka felt from the kiss was immediate, and intense. With his heart battling his brain, Taka wanted to just forget everything. Forget Koichi, forget how much it hurt when his friend rejected him, he wanted desperately to not hurt any longer. Taka whimpered softly, not from desire, but sadness and guilt. “I want to forget, please…help me forget Koichi” whined Taka, “I just want to love someone, I want to be loved, but if Koichi won’t love me…I’m not sure I can…” he stopped. “What did I ask you to do the other day when I took you to lunch? Do you remember?” Taka nodded, “To give you a chance, but after all I’ve done, why do you still want one? I mean…why, I just don’t understand it.”

            “How were you treated by the other guys you dated? Were you ever cherished? Did none of them tell you how much they loved you? Or were these boyfriends just handy outlets for sex? I’m not trying to judge you, I want to understand.” Taka rolled onto his back, arm slung across his face. “Honestly, I don’t think they were really boyfriends, I mean shit, I was in high school, how much can you really understand about love at that age? Dating just meant you hung out after school, tried to sneak off and have sex, which was always rushed and terrifying. Kissing was done in the dark, where nobody else could see you, just in case.” Sato shook his head. “Our lunch date was the first real date you’ve been on, right?” Embarrassed, Taka nodded. Sato got up off the bed. “I’m leaving.”  Taka nodded. _They all leave, every one of them._ “I want you dressed and ready to go at 6pm, tonight, wear something nice.” Sato walked towards the door. “This shit is stopping right now, I’m not tolerating any more shit from anyone.” Slamming the door, Taka sat on the bed stunned. “What the hell? What shit? Tolerating it? Fuck.” Throwing himself back, the tears forming yet again, Taka cried himself to sleep.

            “Hey, it’s Sato, I need some help, you have time to see me today?” He’s the only one I can think of, maybe Yukke too. “Okay, I’ll be over in a bit, thanks.” Hanging up his phone, Sato got to his car and sat for a second. Closing his eyes, he could see Taka’s face, the dejection, the hopefulness gone. “Damn it!” Starting up the car and heading towards Miya’s house, Sato tried to get some sort of plan together, hoping that Miya and Shinya could help, _Guess I could call Yukke in too if I needed._ Pulling up to Miya’s, Sato notices that Yukke’s bike is already in the drive way. _I hope this works_. 

            “A piece of shit? Damaged goods? Poor thing, I haven’t met him, but if he’s like Koichi, he’s got to be a nice kid.” Sato had explained everything to his friends. “Yah, and now that Koichi rejected him as a boyfriend, it’s gotten worse. From what he’s said, our lunch date was his first real date. He’s had boyfriends, but I think they were just fuck buddies, yah know?” Sato just shook his head. “I need to prove to him that he’s worth the effort, but I’m not totally sure how to do that, that’s why I called you.”

            “Do you think talking to Koichi would help?” Yukke asked, “might give you some insight” Sato shook his head, “Nope, if he knows I talked to Koichi about him, I might as well shut the door on this whole thing.” The four of them threw around ideas for a while, not really coming up with a good plan. “Well, you could do the old fashion wine and dine and dance.” Shinya finally suggested. “It worked for Tatsu and Koichi. They went down to the beach and then to dinner at the restaurant. We saw them there that night, Koichi was adorable, and Tatsu-kun never looked happier. You know, the restaurant does have small private rooms, I’m sure if you called them up, you could book one.” Sato took all these suggestions into consideration. Thanking his friends, Sato went home to come up with a plan.

            “Okay, this better work!” It was close to 6pm when Sato returned to Taka’s flat. He said a little prayer before knocking on the door. _Please let this work._ Hearing the locks being lifted, Sato held his breath. “Hi…WOAH! You…you look amazing!” _Yes!_ The Taka standing in the doorway looked nothing like the person Sato had left earlier. “Uh…thanks, is this okay?” As Sato walked through the door, he grabbed Taka’s wrist, pulling him towards the bed. “Let me show you how okay it is.” Pushing Taka down, Sato plunged his tongue into Taka’s mouth. “You look so fucking hot right now…” Taka let out a small moan that left Sato hungry for more. “Nope. Not going to do it!” Heaving a huge sigh, Sato broke away from Taka. “Are you ready to go?” Taka nodded. Sato led Taka down to where his car was parked, held the door for him and slid in next to him.

            “Where are we going?” Without missing a beat “Surprise, not telling.” Sato stared straight ahead. “I hate surprises” groaned Taka. “I’m going to change that, you’ll get so spoiled on surprises, I promise.” Pulling up to the restaurant, Taka whistled. “Woah, talk about ritzy, I’m so totally not going in there.”  Sato panicked, _did I fuck up_? “Are you sure? Nobody will bother us, this is a pretty special place for musicians” Taka thought for a moment. “Can we go to someplace else? I’m sorry, this place is just too over the top for…” he looked down at his lap. “For someone like you?” Sato started his car, pulling away from the restaurant. “It’s not too fancy, but I want to make you happy, so anywhere you feel comfortable at, we’ll go there instead.” The smile on Taka’s face was all Sato needed to know that not forcing the issue was the right choice. “Where to, your choice?”

            “Um…near Shibuya, it’s called Genki Sushi.” Taka had loved the conveyor belt sushi restaurant since he was a child, going with his grandparents. Sitting in a booth, Taka and Sato had fun ordering from the menu and watching the conveyor belt come by with their order. Sato, ever the jokester, put a Mucc guitar pick he had in his pocket, on an empty plate. Waiting for a reaction from the kitchen, both men laughed as a waitress walked by giving them a dirty look. “No sense of humor” giggled Taka.

            After sushi and a few beers, the two decided to walk around Shibuya for a while, looking in shops, playing games at an arcade and getting beers at random ramen huts. Walking along a quiet street, Sato gently took Taka’s hand in his. Taka looked at Sato in surprise but Sato just kept walking, a huge smile on his face. “Are you having fun?” he said looking at Taka. “Yah, I am.” _Sato makes me laugh, he’s such a freaking dork_. They made their way back to Sato’s car. Before Sato opened the door for Taka, he leaned the man against the side, leaning in against the car, “You are amazing.” Kissing Taka, leaning into him, slowly rubbing his hips against Taka’s, the long passionate kiss started to overwhelm Taka. “Um…mmm…Sato” With one last nip of Taka’s lip, Sato pushed away from his beautiful boy. “Fuck, uh…we need to uh…find something else to do, it’s early!” Raising an eyebrow, “Something else to do? Really?” Taka huffed. “Yep, get in, I have something in mind.”

            “Now where are we going? It better not be fancy.” Sato just smiled, leaving Taka to make a pissy noise, and slump in his seat. He was really annoyed with Sato for stopping the kiss they had been sharing, a kiss that had made his groin start to burn. “Don’t worry so much, I think you’ll like this place, if you don’t we can leave, you picked dinner, now I get to pick this.”  Sato had thought about Shinya’s suggestion of dinner, but remembered he had mentioned dancing as well. Pulling up to the club, Taka gasped “Really? You’re taking me to the Ruins?” Taka leaned over and kissed Sato. “I’ve wanted to come here forever, but Kou…uh, I never could get anyone to come with me.” Taka had heard stories and rumors about the infamous night club, but could never get Koichi to go and now, he was with Sato, going to Ruins!  Seeing Taka’s reaction made his heart skip, maybe this will work? Can’t hurt, can it?

            It was early so the line was short, making their way up the stairs Taka was amazed on just how small the club was. Basically, a square sunken dance floor, with barstools and tables on the rail. Booths along the wall with the backs of the booths recessed far enough to be dark, and the bar across an entire wall.  “Let’s get a booth while we still can.” Sato’s booth choice was mainly so fans wouldn’t bother them, and the fact that it was one of the darker booths, was just an added perk. After leading Taka to the booth, Sato wanted to get drinks. “You want something to drink?” Taka looked puzzled. “Can you just pick something for me please…just not beer.” Sato nodded, “Be right back, don’t move.” The last part of that sounded kind of controlling, which caused Taka’s cock to twitch.

            Taka looked for Sato, noticing it was taking him longer than it should, for just getting drinks. Seeing him near the DJ booth, Taka watched as he was talking to a man in a suit, pointing toward where Taka was sitting. Sato nodded and returned. “What was that all about?” Sato handed Taka his drink. “That was the manager, I just asked him for some privacy, keep fans away…for tonight at least. The DJ sometimes plays Mucc songs, and I asked them not to.” Taka took a sip of his drink. “Hey, I wanted a drink, not juice!” Sato gave Taka a naughty smile, “it’s a vodka sunset, vodka has no taste, so be careful, okay?”

            As the club filled, Taka noticed that there were some bouncers on radios, always walking near them. In addition to the bouncers, waitresses stopped at the table, refilling their drinks without Sato asking them to. After 3 drinks, Taka looked at Sato suspiciously. “What?” Sato was trying to look innocent, instead just blushing. “Is this because of who you are…like rock star treatment?” Taka already knew the answer. “I don’t usually ask for any of this, but this is a special occasion, I don’t want anyone interrupting us, I want you to have all of me, Sato, not Satochi the drummer for Mucc. Sato then leaned over and kissed Taka briefly, teasing him with a nibble on his bottom lip.

            Eyeing the dance floor, Taka looked at Sato, “Want to dance?” Sato laughed, “Not for a million dollars, I can’t dance for shit! But I will sit at the rail and watch you” Taka jumped and grabbed a spot in the corner of the dance floor, not caring he was alone. Without knowing that Sato had set it up, Buck Ticks song, **Dress** started playing. Taka started to sway, moving his body more than his feet, dancing seductively, erotically, dancing as if sex was his next move. Watching Taka dance, Sato stopped breathing. _Holy Fuck! How can he think all those negative things about himself, he’s pure sex! He’s fucking beautiful!_ Sato could feel his cock swelling, straining in his pants with every hip sway or thrust Taka made. Hearing nothing but the music, Taka just let the song move him, sounding through his body, locking out everything else.

            He see’s Sato watching him with a sexual tension that was flooding his eyes. As the song played, Taka sang along quietly, knowing no one could hear him. He looks up at Sato and is hit with an acute surge of desire, different than he’d ever felt with Koichi. Still dancing slowly, Taka moves his hips, knowing how it’s effecting Sato. He almost can’t believe he has this power to make Sato look at him with such lust in his eyes. The song ends, Sato is at the steps of the dance floor, grabbing Taka and pulling him into the booth. Sitting back, hot and sweaty, Taka reaches for his drink, Sato stops his hand, “Do you know what that did to me?” Taka shakes his head. Sato pulled Taka into a blistering kiss of such intensity it made Taka moan loudly. “Fuck! You…you have no idea, do you? Feel me, this is what you’re doing to me.” Sato took Taka’s hand and placed it on his straining cock. “Uh…shit, Sato… please kiss me.”

            Sitting in the darkened booth, an aching tension was building between them, “Do you want to leave?” Sato whispered in Taka’s ear. “Um…I uh,” Taka shrunk back a bit from Sato. “What’s wrong pet?” There was a sudden change in Taka. “If we leave…will you…” Taka wouldn’t look at Sato. “Could I have another drink maybe?” _This is really weird_ , _what happened?_ “Of course.” Sato waved at a waitress. Taka took the drink and downed it, he then took Sato’s drink and finished it. _What the fuck is he doing_? Suddenly, Taka leaned over and tried to kiss Sato, missing the kiss and falling back into the booth, laughing. Confused, Sato tried to talk to Taka, “Taka, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

            “I’m fine…you…” Taka stopped laughing, laying his head on the table for a minute. When he looked up, tears had filled his eyes _. Oh shit, I gotta get him out of here_. “Okay babe, let’s get you home.” Sato got Taka up, his arm around the drunk man’s waist. Once they got to the car, Sato poured Taka into the passenger side. “Taka?” Sato leaned over, cupping Taka’s face, “Hey, what’s going on?” Looking at Sato, Taka closed his eyes, “Take me home, to your place…please, I don’t want to go home…”

            “What the hell are you sure Taka?” Sato was so confused.

            “Don’t make me go home! I don’t want to fail, I …I don’t…Kou…no please” _So that’s what this is, it’s Koichi._ Sato turns the car and drives to his apartment. He hears what he thinks is Taka crying softly. “Hey pet, we’re here, can you get upstairs on your own?” Taka makes a non-committal sound. Sato gets them into the flat, Taka is swaying badly on the way to the bedroom.

            Before they get to the bed, Taka turns suddenly and grabs Sato, “Please…please” Sato holds Taka close, petting his hair and rubbing his back. “Taka, what? Please what? Talk to me!” Holding Taka at arms-length, Sato looks at Taka, “Fuck me please…I …don’t want to think of him, fuck me…Sato” Leaning back into Sato, Taka smashes his mouth against Sato’s his tongue begging for acceptance. _Shit, he’s drunk, begging me._ “Taka, babe, you’re drunk…I didn’t want it to be like this.”

            “FINE! FUCK YOU!” Taka shoved Sato away.” I HATE YOU! You beg me to give you a chance? What a fucking joke!” Taka heads for the door, slamming against walls and knocking a table over. “Taka! Wait! Stop!” Taka stops, leaning with his head against the door. “What do you want from me? I told you…I’m not worth the effort, just…forget it. I’m done… done with you, done with Koichi, done with your band, everything, I’ve had it.” Taka opens the door and stumbles out, slamming it behind him. _Sato slumps on this couch. How did it go from making out at the club to this?_ “Shit, what do I do now?”

            Taka fell down the last two steps, landing on his knees. “Shit!” Standing up, his pants are ripped and his knees scraped and bloody. He starts walking away from Sato’s flat, not knowing where he was. Tears clouded his vision, having to stop and wipe his face, he looked for a train station. _Fuck, what time is it?_ Pulling his phone from his pocket, 12:24am. _Shit, no trains!_ As he walks he comes to a large intersection, standing in the middle of the street, he sees Tokyo Tower poking up from between skyscrapers. “Thank god”.

            It took Taka another 20 minutes to get to the tower. Seeing that the HBG was still open, he walked up to the counter. “Hi, can…Shit! Taka!” It was the new guy, Aki. “Are you okay? Come around to the back door.” Taka staggered to the back of the HBG, Aki letting him in. “Thanks, Aki-kun, I just need to sit for a bit, but can you get me some water please?” Sitting in the office, Taka heard Aki talking to customers. Not paying much attention, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “Just for a few minutes, then I’ll walk home.”  Aki looked back at Taka, passed out in the office chair. “Shit, this is bad.”

            _“Hi, Koichi? It’s Aki at work, yah, sorry I know it’s late, but Taka just showed up and he looks bad. Well, he’s drunk, his knees are all bloody, I don’t know what happened. Yah, he’s in the office passed out. Okay.”_ Aki hung up the phone, hoping he did the right thing.

            “Well fuck! Really Taka?” Koichi got up and got dressed, it would take him about 30 minutes to walk to the HBG. Better call Tatsu. “Kou? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Tatsu was not expecting a call from his lover. “I’m fine, it’s Taka, he just showed up at the HBG, drunk and sort of beat up.” Tatsu put his hand over his eyes. “I’m going down there, not sure what I can do, but he can’t stay there all night.” _Damn it Taka_. “Not by yourself you’re not. Say there, I’ll be over in a few minutes. I’ll take you over there.” Tatsu ran down the stairs, driving faster than he should, it took him about 10 minutes, Koichi was waiting at the curb. “Do you know what happened, Kou?” Koichi was upset, so Tatsu didn’t press any further with the questions.

            Pulling up to the HBG, Koichi ran to the back door where Aki was waiting. “He’s in the office, passed out.” Koichi stood in the doorway, looking at Taka. He could smell alcohol, saw that his pants were ripped. “Taka, what have you done to yourself?” Koichi walked back into the office. “Let’s just get him home, we can talk to him tomorrow.” Koichi shook Taka’s shoulder, “Taka, wake up, let’s get you home.” Taka opened his eyes, “Kou? Oh Kou!” Lurching out of the chair, Taka falls onto his hands and knees, “FUCK!” he sobs, “I’m fucking pathetic!”

            “Let’s get you home, okay? Tatsu is going to drive us” Taka visibly cringed when he heard Tatsu’s name.  “I’d rather walk, thanks though.” He mumbled. “Taka, let Kou help you okay? I’m just the driver.” Taka snorted. _Just the driver? That’s a fucking joke._ “Fine, let’s go then. Thanks Aki” Taka stumbles out of the door, Koichi at his side. Getting in the car, Koichi sits in the back with Taka, both silent on the drive. Pulling up to Taka’s flat, he bolts for the door. “Taka! Wait!” Koichi gets out and starts for the stairs. “Kou, let him go,” Tatsu grabbed Koichi by the arm, “you’re not going to get anywhere with him tonight. Wait until tomorrow.” Koichi hesitated, deciding to get back in the car.

            “Why did he do all of this? I don’t understand” Tatsu didn’t have an answer. Driving Koichi home, he tried to comfort his lover. “Kou, baby, listen, this isn’t your fault, so please remember that.” Leaning over he gave Koichi a long kiss goodnight. “I’ll call this afternoon, before you to work, okay?” Watching Koichi walk upstairs to his flat, Tatsu was troubled. “I’ll keep you safe Kou, no matter what, even if I have to keep Taka away from you.”


	10. Chapter 10

Taka couldn’t get into his flat fast enough, hearing Koichi’s cry making it worse. Slamming his door shut, Taka slid down to the floor, putting his face into his hands, sobbing. “Why…I could have been happy…why do I do this to myself every fucking time?” Falling over onto his side, Taka brought his knees to his chest, covering his face with his hands and cried himself to sleep.

            Koichi couldn’t sleep, everything that had happened in the last two hours had his brain fried, the word ‘why’ screaming loudly in his mind, made it difficult to do anything. How was he going to help Taka? Would he even accept Koichi’s help? Oh shit… Sato, what the hell is he going through right now? Lying in bed, sleep eluding him, Koichi had no solid answers.

 _Damn, I should have gone after him, now Koichi and Tatsu are involved._ Sato was still sitting on his couch, still worried about Taka and beating himself up over not going after the younger man. Tatsu had called to let him know Taka was home, but probably not functioning well. How did it go from perfect to train wreck in less than an hour? What set it off at the club? Sato went over every detail, everything that was said or done, it still made no sense to him. Now what?

            Tatsu climbed the stairs to his flat, tired, worried and angry. _Shit…how do I protect Kou? How do I keep Taka away, without hurting Koichi?_ He had such high hopes for the two friends to reconcile and then Taka crashes and burns. He was certain it was nothing Sato had done, but what set Taka off? Koichi was his main concern of course, but whatever it took, he had to protect his lover from the damaging effects that Taka seemed to bring.

            Koichi got up late, wasn’t a surprise really, considering the chaotic Taka episode the night before. Rolling over to look at the clock, Koichi decided that Taka was more important than work. Calling his boss, Koichi took the day off. “How do I start this?” It was 11:24am, Taka should be awake and probably hungover. Koichi wanted to talk to him, but he was not sure how to approach his friend. Koichi called Taka, hoping to at least not get screamed at. “Taka, it’s Kou, you’re either sleeping or puking, but I’m coming over with some hangover food.” Since he didn’t pick up the call, Koichi braced for the worst.

            Stopping at the udon hut and the konbini for coffee, he arrived at Taka’s flat. Knocking on Taka’s door, he called out, “Taka? It’s Kou, let me in, I have food”. He waited, raising his hand to knock again, the door opens. Koichi see’s Taka walking away from him, towards the bed. “Hey, I have your fave udon, and I got you coffee too.” Closing the door, he turned only to see Taka had burrowed under his blanket, ignoring Koichi. “Uh…Okay then, udon and coffee it is”.

            Pouring the udon into a bowl, Koichi walked over to the table in the middle of the room, setting down the food. He walked over and sat on the foot of the bed.  “Taka, I have your food.” The only response was a groan from the lump in the bed. “Taka please eat, you’ll feel better.” Moving the blanket, Koichi tried to talk to Taka, but what he saw when Taka looked at him, made him cry out, “Taka!! Wha…?” Taka’s eyes were almost swollen shut, his face red and raw, hair in mats. “Oh Taka!” cried Koichi, “What happened? Please talk to me!” Taka looked at Koichi, “Just leave Kou” he croaked, “please just leave. Thanks for the food, I’ll eat it later, I promise.”

            Koichi sat on the bed, torn on what to do, should he leave or should he force Taka to talk to him? “Taka, promise to call me later, please? I’m not leaving until you say you will.” A croaking voice from under the blanket, Taka promised he would call. “I’m so sorry Taka, you have no idea how much I hate what I’ve done to you, I just…” heaving a huge sigh, Koichi left Taka’s flat, not hearing his best friend break down for the hundredth time.

            Koichi walked home instead of taking the train, so wound up in his thoughts he didn’t hear Tatsu calling his name from behind him. “Kou! Hey, Kou?” He touched Koichi’s shoulder making the other jump. “Wha…oh,” Seeing Tatsu’s face filled with concern for him, Koichi just lost it, “Ta…Tatsu!” wailed Koichi falling into his lover’s arms. “Shit! Kou, baby! What’s wrong?” Tatsu scooped a hysterical Koichi up in his arms and walked back to his car, placing him carefully in the passenger side. Running around to the driver’s side, sliding behind the wheel, Tatsu starts to drive to Koichi’s flat. “Hold on baby, we’ll be home in a minute.”

            He listened as Koichi sobbed uncontrollably. Pulling up to Koichi’s flat, Tatsu carried the distraught boy upstairs. Setting Koichi on the bed, grabbing him gently by the shoulders, Tatsu searched Koichi’s face, “Kou, look at me! Koichi, what happened? Did Taka hurt you?” Koichi still couldn’t answer, leaving Tatsu to just pull him into a hug, slowly soothing him, whispering and rocking his lover.

            It took almost an hour for Koichi to calm down enough for him to tell Tatsu what had happened at Taka’s flat. Tatsu got a warm, wet washcloth for Kou’s face, and some water, waiting for Koichi to start telling him what happened with Taka. “Kou, before you start, tell me truthfully, did Taka hurt you at all?” _I’ll kill him if he even laid a finger on you_. “No, he didn’t hurt me” Koichi’s voice was raspy from crying. “But I’ve obviously hurt him, you should have seen him!”

            Tears start to form in Koichi’s eyes again. “Tell me what happened, Kou.” After drinking the glass of water, Koichi told Tatsu everything that had happened when he had gone over with the food. Koichi started to softly cry again when describing how wrecked Taka looked, and Tatsu didn’t say a word, not wanting to upset Kou. Tatsu drew Koichi into his chest, and soothed his lover. “It’s okay baby, we’ll fix this, I’ll find a way, ssshhh it’s okay” _Damn it! It’s not okay!_ Koichi had gotten up and gone to the bathroom, so Tatsu took the opportunity to call Sato quickly. “We need to talk, I’m at Kou’s, where should we meet?” After hanging up, Tatsu promised to call Kou later. “I’ll let you know what Sato says, alright?”

            “You still want to have a relationship with him? Even after all this shit?” Tatsu had gone to Sato’s flat to try to figure out their next step in dealing with Taka. “Actually, I do. He does something to me, it’s hard to describe. When I’m with him life feels perfect.” Tatsu raised an eyebrow. “Really? Then explain to me what the hell happened the other night? “How does Taka go from being dreamily perfect to psychotic bitch from hell, and scaring my boyfriend?” Tatsu growled.

            “Look, I don’t know what happened! If I did I would not be asking you for help.” Sato got up and walked to the window. “Believe me, I don’t want to see Koichi hurt either” Turning to face Tatsu. “That’s why I’m asking you for help.”  Sato looked helplessly at Tatsu.

             “Damn it! You obviously see something that I don’t.” Tatsu sighed, “What do you want me to do?” Tatsu walked over and hugged his friend. “Sato-kun, I want you to be happy, but Taka…is he really the one that can do that for you?” Patting Tatsu’s back, Sato tried to explain. “In my heart, yah, he is the one, I just need to find a way into _his_ heart” They stood there, looking at each other for a moment. “Well, I think we need to go see Taka. You need to talk to him, try to get through, and I’ll just be there for backup…just in case.” Grabbing his phone, Sato and Tatsu leave for Taka’s flat, with Sato praying for a miracle.

            Walking up the stairs to the flat, Sato took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Hearing nothing, he knocked again. “Kou, I told you to leave me alone” shouted Taka through the door. “Taka, pet, it’s Sato, let me in please.” Tatsu looked at Sato, nodding. Taka opened the door a crack, looking out at Sato. “Why are you here?” Tatsu then pushed through the door and almost knocked Taka down. “We are here to talk to you, well, Sato is, I’m just the backup.” Tatsu closed the door. Taka looked like hell, his eyes swollen and red. He backed away from the two men, slightly terrified of Tatsu. “I didn’t touch Kou! I wouldn’t…” Tatsu took a seat by the door, ignoring Taka. “Pet, no one said you did, okay? I just want to talk to you, that’s all, just me…not him.” Sato sat on the floor, motioning Taka to sit as well. They looked at each other for a minute or so, waiting for the one of them to speak first. “Sorry.” Mumbled Taka. “Can you tell me what happened, did I do something wrong?” whispered Sato. Taka shook his head, “You did nothing wrong, nothing but be kind to me.” Sato looked at Taka, trying to understand the young man. “Everything was going great at the club, or at least I thought it was. Then you got that last drink and sort of flipped out, why?” _God, I just want to hold him_.

“I don…don’t know really…um.” Taka’s head was so low, Sato almost couldn’t hear him. “After you watched me dance, and we started making out, you…asked if I wanted to leave. I was worried…that if we left, you would just take me home.” Having trouble hearing Taka, Sato moved closer. “That’s why I wanted to go to your flat…but when you said you didn’t want me…” Taka looked up, “You lied to me! You said you wanted to be with me…then you said no! First Kou and then you? How many times do you think I can take being told that someone loves me, then turns around and throws me away?” The blood drained from Sato’s face. _He thinks I rejected him, he doesn’t understand it was because he was drunk. Shit!_

Tatsu got up quietly and left the flat, walking down to his car, he leaned against it and called Koichi, “Hey, I think it’s going to be okay with Sato and Taka. Yah, I’m going home for a nap, I’ll call you later this afternoon.”  Looking up at the flat, Tatsu was confident that Sato had everything under control.

Sitting on the floor with Taka, Sato tried to understand what went wrong between them. After Taka said that Sato lied, he could see where things fell apart that night. Taka had pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face. “I can’t take this anymore, please just leave.” Sato sat in silence, waiting for Taka to look at him. Sitting against the wall, Sato thought back to the first time he really saw Taka and the first time he thought that Taka may be the one.

            “You remember that night at the HBG, when I asked you for your phone number? I swear, I felt like I was 15, in high school, about to ask the most popular girl for a date, I was so sure you were going to say no. So, when you gave me your number I couldn’t believe it. You probably won’t believe this, but I kind of…stalked you!” Taka looked up. “When I came to the HBG that afternoon to talk to you? I had already been there for three hours. I was across the street, watching you. I was so fucking nervous, scared to death to talk to you. I mean shit…I’m not that good looking, not like Tatsu. I’m kind of a dork, if you haven’t noticed already. I’m so _not_ cool like Miya and I don’t have a cute face like Yukke. I’m Satochi, the drummer for Mucc, that’s it.” Taka tried to say something but Sato held up his hand. “When I’m with you, I feel like…whatever it is, it feels right when I’m with you. Now, I want to clear this thing up.” Taka hid his face again.

             “Look at me please, pet. I did not lie to you. _I do want you!_ I can’t even explain how much I want you. But you were drunk…well trashed really, and it’s my fault.” Taka’s head snapped up. “Had you ever had any vodka before that night?” Taka shook his head. “After the first two drinks, I should have figured that out. You had at least four vodka sunsets, and that club makes their drinks strong. I should have paid more attention, and I didn’t, I’m so sorry, pet. But then you danced, and damn it! Watching you move like that, I almost lost it right there, lost it like in the bathroom jerking off. Then we were almost fucking in the booth! I was to the point of wanting to fuck you on the table!”

            Sato stopped and looked at Taka. “Baby, I’m so sorry, but I didn’t lie. _I do want you_! But you were so wasted, you didn’t know what you were doing, I uh…I couldn’t just take advantage of that, I couldn’t just fuck you. I wanted it to be special, not a drunk fumble fuck. That’s why I said no!” Sato crawled next to Taka, reaching out to pull him in close. They sat holding each other, not speaking, Taka’s head under Sato’s chin. Sato then pulled Taka’s head up, moving in to kiss him, and in a breathy moan, “Taka, I’m falling in love with you. I know it’s weird, we don’t even know each other very well, but there’s something that clicks in my brain, every time I look at you.”

            Sato felt Taka stiffen and pull back, staring at Sato. “Wha…what did you just say?” Taka thought he heard it wrong. “I love you Taka, please believe me, it’s so obviously true.” Taka shook his head “But…what about…all of the other stuff?” Sato pulled Taka back into a hug, Taka was overwhelmed, trembling in Sato’s arms. “Taka, pet, listen to me. I love you, I want you in my life, I want to protect you and keep you safe.” Kissing the top of Taka’s head, Sato sighed. “Um…I don’t know…I mean…” Taka was shaking, but Sato didn’t give him a chance, “NO, you don’t get to over think this, don’t try to back away or push me away, this is final.”

            They sat quietly for a while, Taka trying to come to terms with the confession, wanting to believe him, wanting it with his whole being, to be loved. Taka then smiled, and looked up at Sato. “Are you sure you’re ready for me? I uh…can be um, trouble.” The smile that Taka gave Sato was enough of an answer, with no words needed. Sato then kissed Taka on the nose. “But, we have to discuss one more thing.” Sato smiled devilishly. “You’re going to have to be patient.” Taka blinked, “What do you mean? Patient for what?” With is eyes closed and a cheeky grin, Sato laid out his plan.

 

            “Hey babe, you have time to talk before you leave?” Tatsu was still lying in bed. “Yah, a few minutes. How was your nap?” Tatsu decided to lie. “Great, more tired than I thought.” Koichi hesitated before he asked, “Have you heard from Sato? Is…is everything okay?” Even though Tatsu had told him that he thought that Sato had things covered in relation to Taka, Koichi was still apprehensive. “Nope, not sure that’s a bad thing, Kou. We just have to wait.” They talked for a few more minutes, with Tatsu saying he’d come by the HGB for Koichi’s break.    


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little corny and cliche, but sometimes that's what works.

       Koichi arrived at work and found Aki and another new person working the counter. “Hi Aki, how’s it been so far?” Koichi was glad for the distraction of work. “It’s been steady, no big rush yet, um…is everything okay…with you know, with Taka?” Koichi knew this would come up, “As far as I know, it’s all good.” Koichi didn’t want to give out details and Aki seemed satisfied with the answer. Koichi decided to introduce himself to the new kid, “Hi, I’m Koichi, I haven’t met you yet, welcome to the HBG” The new kid was good looking and seemed like he was adapting well. “Oh, Hi, I’m Uta… um, today’s only my third day. It will be good to have someone here who knows everything.” The two new guys stuck with mostly doing the counter work, with Koichi making drinks. It was a warm day, which would morph into a humid evening, meaning a lot of people coming in for drinks. The business was steady, and towards 6pm, started to get very busy. Tatsu had shown up for Koichi’s lunch break, was it was another thirty minutes before Koichi could get away.

  
       “Hi, sorry it took so long” Tatsu pulled Koichi in for a hug and a passionate kiss. “Mm…I’ve been waiting all day for that.” Going to a table towards the back of the garden, the lovers talked, with Koichi sitting on Tatsu’s lap. As the two sat cuddling, they were surprised by a low whistle, “Woah…heavy petting in public? Get a room you two!” Sato stood in front of the couple, with Taka at his side, a shy smile showing that everything was indeed, good. Taka walked over to Koichi, “Kou, please forgive me and accept my deepest apologies, you as well, Tatsu.”

       Taka started to bow, but Koichi jumped up and hugged him instead. “Taka, I just want you to be happy, as happy as I am.”  
Looking at Sato and blushing, Taka made sure to let Koichi know how he felt. “I am happy, Kou, for the first time in so many years.” Tatsu looked at Sato, who then winked and gave a low, thumbs up. “We came to ask you both, if you’d like to go out to dinner tomorrow night with us, since both of you are off.” Koichi looked at Tatsu, “Up to you, Kou, I’m free, we have an early rehearsal, so I’m good. Same place, Sato?” The two couples made plans to meet at the restaurant the next evening. After Sato and Taka left, Koichi was smiling, “Well it seems like everything did work out!” Tatsu was relieved to see his boyfriend smiling again, and even better, not have to worry about Taka getting out of hand. I wonder what Sato did that changed it?

  
       Taka and Sato left the HBG and went back to Taka’s flat. Taka, still feeling nervous was caught off guard, “I’m going home, we have an early rehearsal, so that we can have the evening off.” Sato hugged Taka close, “I love you, you’re so fucking beautiful, I’m so lucky.” Kissing Taka deep, caressing his face, Sato didn’t want to stop, but he made a promise to himself and Taka, not to rush things. “I’ve got to go or I’m going to regret it.” Taka decided to try a pout, it worked for Koichi, maybe… “Koichi can get away with that lip thing with Tatsu, but sorry Pet, it doesn’t work on me.” Shit, yes it does! Sato kissed Taka one more time and went home.

  
       “Let me hear your opinion, I know you have one.” Koichi was still sitting on Tatsu’s lap, his arm slung over his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Do you think they’ll be okay?” Tatsu had his face buried in Koichi’s neck, nuzzling and nipping and making Koichi very squirmy. “I want to believe that everything is good between them, I really do.” Tatsu paused. “I just guess we’ll see how it goes tomorrow night at dinner.” Checking the time, Koichi had to get back to work, but not before Tatsu kissed him almost senseless, not to mention making him hard enough to moan. “I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon, Kou.” And with a slap of Koichi’s tiny ass, Tatsu left the HBG. The rest of the night was uneventful, and Koichi was home and asleep by 2am, having dreams of a naked Tatsu with magic hands.

  
       Taka took a chance and called Koichi, he didn’t want to feel overly awkward at dinner. “Hey Kou, got a minute?” He was a little shaky. “Taka! Hi, sure what’s up?” Well, he sounds normal. “Uh…Just thought I’d call, uh damn!” Koichi could hear the stress in his friend’s voice. “Taka, its fine, I’m still your friend, that hasn’t changed.” But it has changed, Taka thought. “What are you wearing tonight? Sato tried to take me to this place on our date…but I backed out, it looked pretty high end.” So, they did go out on a real date. “I wasn’t dressed up, it doesn’t really matter, a lot of music people go there. I saw Asanao from Lynch when were went…” Oh shit.

       “Asanao? Really, fuck that’s cool. So just like nice clothes, I can do that.” Taka got quiet. “Taka?” Did he hang up? “Oh, sorry. Um…can I tell you something Kou?” Koichi braced himself, hearing Taka struggle. “Well…um…Sato confessed, he told me he’s in love with me.” Relieved that it had nothing to do with him, Koichi was ecstatic for Taka. “What? Really? Oh Taka! That’s great! Now I understand what you meant last night when you said you were really happy.” This has to be a relief for him.

  
       Pulling up to the restaurant, Sato and Taka saw Koichi and Tatsu already walking in. Taka was still nervous about everything, from the clothes he was wearing, who he would see and who would see that he was obviously on a date with Sato. Tatsu had arranged for a table in a quieter section of the restaurant away from prying eyes. Taka let Sato lead him by the hand and guide him to the table. “Hi, you two, you both look great!” Sato held Taka’s chair for him, “Oh? These old rags? Pfft, nothing special” Tatsu teased sarcastically. He had gone shopping right after rehearsal and bought new clothes. “Funny, I don’t remember ever seeing that shirt before.” Sato knew better and Tatsu gave him a dirty look. “You look nice Taka, perfect for here” Koichi leaned over, in an attempt to make Taka more at ease. This just made Taka blush harder. “Did you see? Sakurai Atsushi is here! I don’t know who the woman is though.” Koichi smiled, remembering how star struck he was when Tatsu had brought him to the restaurant.

  
       They ordered drinks, Taka opting for club soda, he didn’t need a repeat performance of the Ruins, and they settled in for a lengthy meal, with easy conversation, mostly about an upcoming live and a possible tour. “The live we have in two weeks, who’s playing with us?” Sato didn’t know the line up yet, it wasn’t finalized at rehearsal. “Let’s see…” Tatsu leaned back, tapping a finger on his chin. “Miya said something about Morrie and Creature, Creature, but nothing is final yet, I was hoping for L’Arc personally.” Sato seemed concerned, “I like the guys in L’Arc, but there’s something about that Morrie guy…I can’t pinpoint it.” The food had arrived and talk turned to more personal issues. “How’s the food, babe?” Sato was watching Taka eat with gusto, “God! This is amazing! I didn’t know steak could taste this good.” Koichi had kicked Tatsu under the table when Sato had called Taka ‘babe’, attempting to keep Tatsu from teasing the other couple. “Wha…? Sheesh, I wasn’t…” Koichi had given him the evil eye.

  
        “Oh my god! Reita, Aoi and Uruha from the Gazette are here!” Koichi tried not to stare at the three men. “Who’s the little girl? Is it one of their daughters?”  “I think that’s Aoi’s niece, Zuzu. None of them have wives, but maybe girlfriends or boyfriends, I’m not sure.” Tatsu smiled. As they were talking, Aoi walked over with his niece.

  
       “Sorry to intrude Tatsu, my niece Zuzu wanted to say hi to Sato.” Aoi was embarrassed, “She’s only seven, but…” Before he could finish, the little girl interrupted, “Um, Oji, I’m eight, almost nine.” Zuzu looked straight at Sato. “I admire your drum skills, Sato-san, more than Shinya’s or even Kai’s. They’re both great, but you have a bigger personality.” Sato stood up and bowed to Zuzu, “Thank you. Are you interested in learning to play?” She had a hand on her hip, “I’m not sure yet, I am only eight, but it’s on my short list.” The little girl bowed and Aoi led her back to their table.

  
       “Well that was um…interesting.” smirked Tatsu. “Taka, are you okay?” Taka was stunned into silence. “Um, that was Aoi, Gazette Aoi, and you just talked to him like you were discussing the weather.”  
“Pet, soon it won’t even phase you. They are just regular people. I promise to properly introduce you to everyone next time.” Sato smiled at his new boyfriend. Koichi was laughing, looking at Aoi across the room. He had his head bowed and Zuzu was shaking a tiny finger at her oji.

  
       The couples had finished their dinner and were awaiting dessert. Taka was looking around at the other people who were at the restaurant. “Damn, I can’t believe who’s here.” Sato petted Taka on the thigh, “This place keeps the wolves at bay for musicians, we can come and eat in peace, hard to do that at other places.” Tatsu nodded. “They know who to keep out, and they never talk to the press, which for some is a blessing.” Koichi had to ask, “Keep what from the press?” Sato and Tatsu looked at each other for a second. “Your story, or mine?” asked Tatsu. “Yours is funnier” Dropping his head, Sato blushed and nodded “okay, but you tell them."

  
       “All four of us were here, about two years ago, after a live, still pretty hyped up, drinking a lot, especially him” Tatsu pointed at Sato. “He mixed his alcohol, beers, wine, vodka I think, so he was pretty shit faced.” Taka looked at Sato, eyebrows raised, Sato hung his head in fake guilt. “It was rowdy and loud, everyone was having a good time, until HE decided to put the moves on someone.”

  
       Sato groaned leaning his head back, covering his eyes. “We were getting ready to leave, and couldn’t find Sato, figuring he’d passed out somewhere. Miya spots him, in a corner, making out with this blonde, it was pretty hot and heavy. As Miya walks towards them, Sato screams like a girl and jumped back, staring at the blonde.” Tatsu can’t barely keep it together, with Koichi and Taka staring at Sato. “He almost falls over a chair, then almost falls down trying to get away from this blonde. We get outside, trying to find out what was going on and all he could say was “Shit! She had a dick!” come to find that our naïve Sato-kun was making out with Subaru, the vocalist for Royz."

  
       Koichi and Taka looked at Sato and busted out laughing, falling all over Tatsu and Sato “She had a dick, Oh My God! Haha!” Everyone but Sato was laughing, “ I told Sato he must have been wearing alcohol goggles not to have seen that this beautiful blonde was a guy” They all laughed so hard the others in the restaurant had to look. Throughout dessert, one of the four would randomly start to giggle, sending the rest into fits of laughter. After dessert, the two couples walked out and had the valets bring their cars, and went their separate ways.

  
       Tatsu leaned across the seat, pulling Koichi into a deep sensual kiss, the effects causing Koichi to squirm. “God, you’re just so fucking beautiful!” Pulling away from the restaurant, Koichi was hoping to continue with the kissing at some point. Every time they had to stop at a light, Tatsu grabbed Koichi and kissed him, leaving him breathless at every stop. “Um, do you want to go to my place tonight?” Tatsu whispered in Koichi’s ear while waiting for a light to change. “Mmm…ye…ss…uhmm.” That dark whisper in his ear, went straight to his cock, causing it to twinge. “Are you sure? I can’t promise what will happen or not happen once we get there.” Tatsu wanted to make sure Koichi understood what he was asking for. “That’s okay, I want to be here, I want…you” Koichi whispered. Pulling up to Tatsu’s flat, he leaned over once again, to kiss Koichi, “I want you so bad right now, but I only will go as far as what you’re comfortable with…you’re in control tonight.” Koichi looked at his boyfriend and nodded. He has no idea how much I want him to take control of me!

  
       Tatsu looked at his lover, there were still days he couldn’t believe that Kou wanted to be with him. Pulling up to Tatsu’s flat, he helped Koichi out of the car, shutting the door, but then leaning Koichi up against the side, and grabbed both his hands, holding them low and against this body. Leaning in, he kissed his lover with such urgency, that there was no mistaking what he wanted. Koichi was shaken by the kiss, making soft purring noises, he felt his knees giving way. Taking Kou by the hand Tatsu led them up to his flat, opening the door but not bothering to turn on the lights. This is it! Finally, both men thought.

  
       Still leading Kou by the hand, he walked down a short hall to a bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Tatsu drew Koichi to stand between his legs, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist. Hugging him close, he looked up at Koichi, “I still can’t believe you’re with me, seriously, you’re so fucking hot.” Koichi giggled, “Well, I can leave if you don’t believe…I mean why would I want to be anywhere else but here?” Koichi was running his fingers through Tatsu’s long black hair, leaning down his lips begging for a kiss. Tatsu then looked at Koichi, “I want to ask you one more time, is this what you want?” Kou looked down at Tatsu, “Yes, I want this, I’ve wanted this for a while, but I knew you were hesitating for my benefit.” Tatsu grabbed Koichi by the hips, nuzzling his belly. “But I have no doubts, I want you tonight” Tatsu stood up, turning Koichi to lay on the bed. Without saying anything, Tatsu began to take off his clothes, throwing them over a chair. He then reached down to pull Koichi’s shirt off, throwing it aside. Straddling him, Tatsu ran his hands over Koichi’s chest, tweaking a nipple. He reached down to unbutton Koichi’s pants, sliding them down and off.

  
       Tatsu moaned when he saw Koichi laying on the bed naked, “God you’re so fucking beautiful, I know I keep saying that, but shit, there’s no other word I can use…well maybe I could use hot, or stunning or whatever, but then I sound like a hokey romance novel.” Koichi giggled. “Well, I could do the same thing, I could talk about your throbbing sword of pleasure, but I think I’d bust out laughing if I tried.” Tatsu laughed and reached down to kiss Koichi’s nose. “Maybe that’s why I think you’re beautiful, you’re such a dork sometimes.” Koichi gave Tatsu a fake look of indignation, “Gee thanks, so you think I’m a dork? Are you sure you want to fuck me?”

       Tatsu stopped for a moment, then started to tickle Kou, making him squeal like a girl. “Nooo… haha!! Noo no tickling…nooo not fair” Koichi was laughing and thrashing around trying to get away from Tatsu. “Yes, you’re a dork and YES, I want to fuck you, but I going to make sure to feel you inside and out.” Sliding his body along Koichi’s, Tatsu took a nipple in his mouth, biting it gently. “Mm…tasty” Koichi moaned slightly, reaching for Tatsu’s hair, fisting it gently, pushing his head down. “Please…touch me…do something!” Koichi begged. “Not yet babe, I’m going to take my time, because I want to make sure I touch every inch of your body.”

  
       Tatsu knew that this truly was Koichi’s first sexual experience with a man. He didn’t think what Koichi did with Taka, was to be considered anything more than heavy petting, which he was glad for. Tatsu wanted to be the one to make Kou cry out in pleasure, he wanted to hear Kou cry out his name, and he wanted to take all the time needed to make sure that Kou felt loved. Tatsu started nuzzling Kou’s neck, little nips and sucks of the collar bone, licking down his neck, his hands in Kou’s long silky hair. “God Kou, you’re truly amazing, you know that right?” Koichi had his arms around Tatsu’s neck, holding his head to his chest, breathing in the scent of his lover. “Ever since that first night, I’ve waited for this, watching you move, listening to you sing, everything about you…I…um” Tatsu was lying on top of Kou, hands ghosting over his body, Kou tried to keep speaking, but when Tatsu touched his small hips, and started to lick his tattoo, Koichi was lost. “What does this mean?” Kou tried to focus, his breathing ragged and quick.

       “It’s my birthday, in Roman numerals, I uh…just thought it looked cool.” Koichi also had the tiniest cross right below his navel, which of course Tatsu had to tongue, sending Kou into giggles “nooo… hah! That tickles!” Tatsu returned to the larger tattoo, licking it, trying to guess what the date was. Ok, XXII is twenty-two, but the other…” Kou decided to tell him, “December 22, that’s my birthday.” Tatsu made a point to file that way for future reference, it would be a nice birthday this year. Still lying on top of Kou, Tatsu’ starts to run his hands over Kou’s thighs, licking his way down Kou’s belly, licking the valley’s and ridges of Kou’s hips, leaving Kou to bend and twist under Tatsu.

  
       One last time, Tatsu asks Koichi, “Kou, babe…I’m not going to be able to stop if I go much further, I want to make sure, and I know I’ve asked you several times before…” He couldn’t even finish what he wanted to say, “YES! Please…touch me! I can’t fucking stand it anymore…please” mewled Kou. Tatsu begins running his hands on the inside of Kou’s thighs, he finally dips his head over Kou’s cock, kissing it first, licking the precum and finally taking the head into his mouth. Kou bucked up his hips, pushing his cock as far as he could into Tatsu’s mouth, then grabbing him by the hair, making heated sounds that inflamed Tatsu. “God, I can’t believe this...you’re so fucking perfect! This cock is perfect, in every way, fuck, I love it” Licking it, Tatsu started licking and teasing Koichi’s balls and hole, finally when Kou couldn’t handle much more, Tatsu reached for the lube that was under the pillow. Drizzling lube over Kou’s cock, he started to massage it in.

       “What do you want me to do to you?” Kou didn’t really hear much of the question, he just said “I don’t care, now please…do something.” Tatsu squeezed a large amount of lube into his hands, laying between Koichi’s legs, he starts to work on the virgin hole, making sure that if possible, Kou feels the least amount of pain. Inserting one finger and holding Kou’s cock in his hand, mimicking the movements of both, Kou starts to shake, “Babe, is it too much?” Tatsu slows and just stops for a second. “No, god, it feels …” Tatsu starts again, slowly fucking the hole, rubbing his balls and licking Kou’s cock. Kou is moaning, lying there, he reaches for Tatsu’s hair, pleading with him to come up to kiss him. “Please, I just need…” Tatsu returns to kiss his lover, breathing each other’s air, licking his lips. Kou, I’m going to open you up a little more, okay? Let me know if it hurts”

  
       Tatsu slowly inserts a second finger, scissoring the two, opening Kou’s hole. Finally, Tatsu feels that Kou is ready, and if he doesn’t do something soon, he’ll be done! “Kou baby, this is it, okay?” He sits up on his knees and slides Kou’s legs on each side of him, placing Kou’s hips in his lap. Lubing up his cock, he starts to slide into Kou’s tiny ass, slowly pushing in. Kou tenses, Tatsu’s cock is bigger than the vibe he and Taka used. “Kou relax babe, I’m going slow so it shouldn’t hurt too much,” He pushes in a little more, slowly, he has Kou’s cock in his hand, trying to direct Kou’s attention there. Kou, dazed, can’t catch his breath, as Tatsu enters him. Kou bucks his hips up to meet Tatsu’s thrusts. Tatsu can’t believe it, “Kou you’re so tight, so tiny and perfect” Kou is moaning Tatsu’s name, as he grips sides of bed. Tatsu continues to murmur “you’re so fucking hot, I can’t believe you’re mine…god! Kou!”  
With one more long push, Tatsu’s cock is seated in Kou’s hole. Kou’s shivering, not from pain but the intense fullness he feels. Kou cries, pain and pleasure at the same time,

       “Gnnghh! So…. full…hot Tatsu...mmm” This feels better than with Taka, Kou’s mind is thinking of both. “I’m going to start moving, Kou” Tatsu can’t wait much longer, so he picks Kou’s ass up a little and starts to slide his cock in and around, poking for that pleasure spot that will send Kou over the edge, Kou is whining, moaning and grabbing at the sheets. “Oh fuck.. uhh…shit…uhh… Tat…su!” Tatsu can’t believe how it feels “Fuck! Kou’ babe, you’re so tight… fuck.. you’re… mmmm” Tatsu reaches down and grabs Kou by the arms, “come here baby,” Kou throws his arms around Tatsu’s neck, not quite riding him, but getting deeper than he was before. “Oh fuck, Tatsu, this uh...shit” They ride each other for what feels like an eternity, but Kou is so close to the edge,

       “Oh...uhmmm…shi...I’m… fuck…” Tatsu grabs him tighter, pushes him back down on the bed, grabbing his hips and starts to thrust harder. “Kou…kou…shfuck..shit… now Kou, babe...now!!! And with one last push, spreads his warm seed inside his lover. Kou, without even being touched, shoots ribbons of white on his abdomen, his hips are arched as he cums “aahhmmmsshh! Fu…uk, Tatsu…” They collapse on each other, Tatsu nuzzling Kou’s neck, “god, I love you Kou…so much” as Tatsu pulls Kou as close as possible.

  
        Koichi stops breathing…what? Tatsu still has his face buried in Koichi’s hair, petting the side of his head. “Mmm…that was just so…perfect!” Koichi lets out his breath, not knowing what to do or say. Do I tell him that I love him too? Shit, I don’t want to if he sort of did it on accident, passion and all that shit. Koichi decides to say nothing, and wait, running his hands along Tatsu’s back, down to his ass, holding him. Finally, Tatsu rolls off Kou, goes into the bathroom and comes back with a wet washcloth to clean each other up. He lays back down and nuzzles Koichi’s neck again, playfully biting his collarbone. “Are you okay babe? Nothing hurts?” Tatsu was a bit concerned that Koichi had not said anything. “No, nothing hurts, I’m fine.” His eyes are closed, he hasn’t looked directly at Tatsu yet. “Kou… talk to me, I know you’re hiding something…” Koichi is scared, what if it’s not true? “Um, I’m not hiding anything, but you, um…I mean I don’t know if you…” Tatsu sees a tear forming in the corner of Koichi’s eye, just barely holding on. Pulling Koichi close to him again, Tatsu whispered in his ear “I love you, Kou.” The tear fell from Koichi’s eye, and was followed by more.

       Koichi laid there looking at Tatsu, wondering what he did to deserve this. “I love you too, I mean…I’ve been in love with you since that first night, but it was so weird, love at first sight doesn’t really happen, does it?” Tatsu grinned, sitting up on his elbow looking down at Koichi, “Well, obviously, it does work, because I’ve wanted to tell you this about a dozen times since we met.” Koichi looked stunned, “What? You’ve known for how long that you’re in love with me? And didn’t tell me?” Tatsu wiped the tears from Koichi’s cheek, leaned in and whispered on his lips, “I love you Koichi.” Kou pushed Tatsu back, his tears all but gone, “I love you too,” Koichi pulls Tatsu into a kiss bent on seducing his lover, moaning in his mouth. Hands roaming over two bodies, shifting, rubbing, and kissing bites, all leading to another round of love making. But this time feels different, there are no hindrances, no holding back, just acting on pure emotions.

  
       The confessions have ramped up some serious arousal, both get hard quickly. Koichi rolls over and straddles Tatsu. “Oh, what have we here? You’re going to top?” Kou looks down at his love, “What’s the matter old man, can’t take being a bottom?” Tatsu smiles and folds his arms behind his head, “Go ahead kid, give it your best shot, we’ll see who ends up on the bottom!” Rubbing Tatsu’s chest, pinching his nipples, and leaning down to nip at Tatsu’s collarbone, all these moves had him moaning, wondering if he really could be a bottom. Koichi starts to lick his way down Tatsu’s body, the strong abs, the tight muscles of his hips, finally reaching the best part. Koichi holds Tatsu’s cock tightly, flicking his tongue all over, but not taking it in his mouth, not yet. Kou wants to tease Tatsu as much as he can. Kou giggles, “I’m not that good at giving blow jobs, you’re my first, so sorry if my technique is bad.”

  
       Tatsu moans, dragging Kou up to his face and begins kissing him seductively, with crazy, tongue fucking. “Kou, turn over, get on your hands and knees for me please.” Kou gets on his hands and knees, hearing Tatsu moan, he looks over his shoulder. “Shit, you have the most beautiful tiny ass I’ve ever seen” Tatsu then rains down kisses all over Kou’s ass cheeks, making Kou bury his face in the pillow moaning. Tatsu grabs the lube and drizzles copious amounts over the entrance to Kou’s ass. Not waiting for any prep, Tatsu starts the tip of his cock pushing into Kou’s hole, sighing as he seats himself. Kou starts to push back against Tatsu’s cock, begging for more, “harder…please, fuck me into the mattress, into tomorrow, forever…more, please….”

  
       Tatsu turns Kou on his back, pinning his arms above his head. Growling, Tatsu claims Kou, “fuck…so beautiful…never…you’re MINE, nobody else, I’m never letting anyone near you, I will never let anyone hurt you, You belong to ME!” Kissing Kou senseless, he grabs Kou’s hips and starts pounding him, groaning and chanting Kou’s name, pumping Kou’s cock in time with his thrusts, the final thrust makes Kou cum harder than first time. “Ohuhhh…shit…Tats...loveyou…” Tatsu bends down still thrusting, “I love…you… fuck…Kou baby…” Stabbing in the last thrust, Tatsu empties himself a second time, into the warm body of his lover. Falling on top of Koichi, the two men pant, trying to catch their breath. “Fuck Kou, that was amazing.” He looks down at Koichi, who is trying to stay awake, “I love you, Tatsu…I lov…” his eyes close, exhausted he curls up against Tatsu, smiling in his sleep. Tatsu draws Kou close, spooning him, and drawing the blanket to cover them both. “I swear, I will never let anyone hurt you, Kou, I will keep you safe, I love you so much.” Koichi hears a little of what Tatsu pledged, “Mmm...warm Tatsu…have you forever.” With that last little smile, clutching each other close, they sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Taka wasn’t sure what would happen after they left the restaurant, and was hesitant to ask Sato. Was it too soon? He said I had to be patient, but how long will that be? Driving towards his own flat, he became nervous again, is he dumping me? No…he said he loved me, but then why don’t we… “Taka, pet, I can tell you’re overthinking things again, what is it?” Taka blushed, ashamed of what he was thinking. “Um, just what we’re going to do next…if anything.” Sato had plans, but wanted to make sure the timing was right. “I thought we could go to my flat, have a beer, or club soda for you, maybe watch TV, or video games? I know that’s pretty tame, but remember what I said earlier about being patient.”

            Sato takes taka by the hand, walking towards the stairs. Looking at the stairs, now he remembered why his knees were so banged up, from falling down the last two steps.  Walking down the hall, reaching Sato’s flat, he opens the door, “Tadaima” Taka was confused as he didn’t know Sato had a roommate. “Eddy, I’m home! Where are you?” _Eddy, who the hell is Eddy_? Crashing around a corner, a small white kitten with black markings ran towards Sato, “There you are you little turd!” Scooping up the kitten, Sato nuzzles Eddy’s face. “Oh, god, he’s so fucking CUTE! Can I hold him?” Sato gives Taka the kitten, who immediately starts to knead on his face. “Oh! What’s he doing?” Sato laughs, *“I call it making bread, Eddy was abandoned when he was only 4 weeks old, out at a fruit stand in the country. The people there didn’t care about him, so I decided that I needed a roommate, and there you have Eddy. He also will suck on your neck if you let him.”  Sato ushers Taka and Eddy into the living room, which Taka was surprised that it didn’t really look like a rock stars home. Sato notices Taka looking around, “I told you it wasn’t anything fancy” Taking Eddy with him, Taka sits on the couch, playing with the *kitten who is now trying to suck on his neck, loudly. “He’s going to give me hickeys! Ewww, he’s drooling too!” Sato came over and took Eddy, “Let the boy have some peace, Ed… here’s your dinner, go eat.”

 

            Leaning over the back of the couch, Sato turns Taka’s head for slow heated kiss. “Mmm… you still taste like that fancy dessert we had tonight.” Taka sighed, wishing he could stay like that forever, but he knew Sato had a master plan and he was going to try to abide by it, as long as he could. “Beer or Club soda, Taka?” Taka hesitated, “Um, maybe just one beer would be good.” Sato gets the drinks and flops down on the couch next to Taka, “Here’s to our first stay at home date. So, TV or video games?” Taka grinned at Sato, “Depends on what video games you have, if you have any current ones, I’m not into playing Pong” teased Taka. “Pong? You think I’m THAT old? Boy, I’m gonna whip your ass now!”

            Sadly, the game that Sato had chosen, Taka had always won, everyone he had ever played, and tonight was no different. “SHIT! Really? You’re fucking cheating! I can’t have lost 9 games in a row to you! I’m actually good at this game! Shit, now I know I’m old.” Taka thought for a second, then putting down the controller, he moved over on the couch to straddle Sato’s lap. “I know what I’m doing, I’m patient, I just want to kiss you, is that okay? I promise I won’t ask for more, no matter what. I will honor your wish for us to take things slow, but right now? I desperately need you to kiss me.” Sato’s face softens, he looked up at Taka, with his long black hair framing his features reaching up, he cupped Taka’s face and drew him down for a long, sensual kiss, that left Taka mewling for more, but not pushing the issue.  The two let their tongues dance, with little sips and bites of lip, breathing each other’s air, Sato had let his hands drop to Taka’s thighs, rubbing them gently, but with no force.

            “Fuck Taka, you’re so fucking gorgeous, and you taste like heaven. I want you, so badly it’s painful, but…I’ll give you this much, after the next live, I’ve got something planned for us.” Sato pulled Taka back down into another long and luscious kiss, moaning in his mouth, gently cupping Taka’s ass. “Okay, we have to stop now, or I’m not going to be able to drive you home.” Taka pouted, even knowing that it doesn’t work on Sato. “Okay, I agree that you’re not going to fuck me till after the live, but…can I at least just stay the night, if I promise to stay on my side of the bed?”  Sato looked up at Taka, “Really? You think I can just sleep with you, and not touch you? What do you suppose we’re going to do with this?” Looking down at Sato’s crotch, his pants obviously too tight for his growing cock. “Um, well we could um…” Taka made a motion with his hands. “That’s not really having sex, is it?” Sato burst out laughing, “Fuck! Really? You’re the devil, aren’t you? You’re going to be the death of me! No, it’s not really sex, but it’s more than I had planned on, at least for tonight.” Suddenly, Eddy decided to join the debate, by jumping off the top of the couch, and onto Taka’s shoulder, nuzzling him, looking for a neck to suck. “See! Eddy wants me to spend the night, isn’t that right Eddy…your mean ole dad doesn’t love me anymore…”

Nuzzling the kitten and holding it up next to his face, Taka put on his sexiest smile, “Pleeassseee…” And at the exact right moment, Eddy meowed which sent Sato over the edge in laughter. “I can’t win, can I? You two ganging up on me…shit! Alright, you can spend the night but…” Taka arched an eyebrow, “I’m still not sure if we’ll do…” making the motion with his hands, Sato was smiling. _How he can go from below zero to this in less than 3 days? How can I keep him at this level? God, I hope I’m doing the right thing._ Grabbing Taka into a bear hug, with a squeaking Eddy jumping out of the way, Sato pulls Taka into another blistering kiss, “Fuck, I’m done…you have me completely and utterly in love with you,” Taka smiled, “Thank you, for loving me, for putting up with all my bullshit, and for believing that I’m worth something. I…uh… I love you too.”

            Locking up the house, putting Eddy to bed, Sato takes Taka by the hand and leads him into the bedroom. Taka is blushing slightly, but hides it behind his hair. “So, you don’t have anything to wear, so here’s a pair of track pants.” Taka was surprised, “Um…I don’t need to wear those, I have boxers on” Sato groaned, “Taka, pet, please just wear these and a t shirt, I won’t be able to stop if I see you more than half naked” Taka pouted a little and sat down on the bed. “Okay, I’ll wear them.” _Guess I’ll just give up, he seems to be pretty strict on this one, but waiting two weeks till after the live…Shit, that’s forever_. “Okay, bathroom is yours, there’s a new toothbrush on the counter, just use whatever you want.” Taka padded by Sato, who quickly reached out and smacked him on the ass. “Hey no fair! You said no sex! Spanking is sex!”  _Spanking?_   _Oh god, please spare me tonight_.

            Taka comes out of the bathroom and looks at Sato with a little hope in his eyes, that to Sato looks more like seduction. “Which side of the bed is for me? I don’t really care, since I usually sleep on a futon.” Sato pulled back the sheets and blankets, and patted the left side of the bed, “Come on, get in.” Taka scrambled over the top of Sato and snuggled down into the soft feel of a mattress. “Oh god, I forgot how good it feels to sleep in a real bed…Mmmm…”  Sato drew up the covers and snuggled in next to Taka, breathing in his lover’s scent. “Damn, do you always smell like this? I mean, you always smell like…candy or something…sweet.”  Sato nuzzled Taka’s neck, but refused to go any further. “Pet, I want you to know, I’m dying right now, having you this close and not fucking you is torture for me, I love you so much, just let me hold you tonight, okay? No sex, no blow jobs or jerk offs, just you and me, _sleeping_! Taka sighed and let Sato draw him close. Snuggling as close as he could possibly get, Taka was content to having his lover’s strong arms around him, keeping him safe. “I love you, Taka” Sato kissed Taka’s cheek. “Mm…I love you too…just keep me, okay?”  Sato thought that was a weird good night wish, but he blew it off, not thinking anything of it. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Authors note: The story of Eddy is true. I found a kitten this year, back in June at a produce stand in Mayhill, New Mexico. The kitten was starving to death, about 4 weeks old, and the people didn’t really care. I brought him home, named him Eddy. Eddy WILL suck on your neck if you let him. He’s no longer a tiny baby, but a big healthy teenage cat.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at writing graphic sex, just a warning.

       There was a pre-show meeting with the bands to discuss the lineup. Mucc was to headline, that was a given since they were the most popular at the time. The opening band was to be Creature Creature, with Morrie singing. Then Umbrella, and Girugamesh. The meeting was becoming hostile when Mucc arrived, they were amazed at the tension in the air. “Hi, what’s up? Problem with the show tonight?” Miya stepped into his leader mode, which most of the other musicians acknowledged as his right. “No, we’re discussing the lineup, who goes on first, all that stuff,” Ryo the drummer from Girugamesh, had stepped up front to try to calm things down, with no success. “So, what’s the problem then?” There was silence for a moment, then Morrie the singer for Creature Creature stood up, “I believe we should _not_ be the opening band, we should be right behind Mucc. Make Umbrella the opening band, they have such little…um, experience” Morrie sat down, looking like someone pissed in his beer.

            “Well, it is true that you have more experience Morrie, but as of right now DCR thinks that Umbrella needs more exposure as a newer band. There is no shame in being the opening band.” Miya really wanted to tell Morrie to shut his mouth, but refrained. “More experience? Is that supposed to mean I’m old? I’m no longer relevant in the industry? You’re fucking crazy! I’ve been in more bands that broke up before you were even born!” Morrie was turning into a huge asshole over this.

       “I didn’t say you were old, I said you had more experience, one is not always connected to another. But we will go with the line up the DCR has put up on the bill, so Creature Creature is the opening band, or you can go home.” Miya had put everything down on the table for the bands to look at. Morrie’s band mates pulled him to the side and were exchanging some terse words, in whispers. After agreeing to play first, Morrie suddenly leaves the room, but not before a last pissy statement, “Fine if that’s the way you want it! Let some amateur band play right before the god almighty Mucc, I don’t fucking care.”

            There was some muttering about Morrie, some saying that this wasn’t the first time he’s thrown attitude like this. Even his own band mates said they were tired of Morrie playing the big rock star, when in fact he was becoming more of a washed up angry old man. Everyone just shook their head and left for the rest of the day, meeting back at the venue at 5pm. “God what an asshole! He’s not that great of a singer anyways, but he is good at being a great jerk.” Sato couldn’t believe that someone still pulled that type of holier than thou rock star attitude. “Well, as long as he shows up, the event will be fine. I’m going home to nap, didn’t get much sleep last night” Tatsu had bags under his eyes, and looked almost hungover. “Got a Kou hangover?” Yukke teased. “Yes, as a matter of fact I do. And now I’m going home to recover, if that’s alright with you guys?” Nobody else gave him a hard time, they were all just so pleased to see Tatsu happy again.

            That evening the show went on without a hitch, everyone showing up and playing their best. Creature Creature and Morrie put on a professional performance, if a bit lack luster, getting a polite acceptance from the crowd. Taka and Koichi really enjoyed the show, although they did mention to Tatsu and Sato that Morrie was giving off a bad vibe, and that they thought the crowd felt it as well. There was an after party, which was held at the venue, using the main room after the crowd had left. It was catered and the food and drink were of a superior quality, as was the norm with Danger Crue Records. The DCR management spoke, thanking all the bands for giving great performances, and that the short one shot live was a complete success.

       Taka and Sato were sitting at a table with Ryo of Girgugamesh and Yui, the vocalist for Umbrella, talking quietly about the show. Sato had a very protective arm around Taka. “I take it you two are a thing?” Yui asked politely. “Yep, Taka and I are a ‘thing’” Sato smiled and gave Taka a peck on the cheek. “Nice to see happy people, happy couples. This is such a strange industry, you must hide who you love from the world, when all you want to do is scream their name. I’m happy for you, Sato-san” Taka really liked Yui, he was super nice, and obviously very cute, a comment that made Sato fake being jealous. “Well, he IS cute! But I’m with you, I love you, not him.” Taka drew Sato in for a nice deep kiss, kissing away the supposed jealousy.

            Tatsu and Kou were sitting with Miya and Shinya eating some of the wonderful catered food, when Kai and Yukke walk up. Koichi had not met Kai yet, so Yukke introduced him. “Hi, nice to finally meet you. We’ve heard a lot about you, it’s great to finally meet the adorable Kou, as he calls you.” Tatsu cringes, “Did you have to tell him about that part, Kai? I told you to not say anything!” Koichi looks over at Tatsu. “Again? You’re talking about me being adorable to other people? Tatsu…really?” Everyone laughs at the couple, and all claiming that yes, they ARE adorable together.

      Shinya excused himself and headed for the bathroom, only to be stopped on the way by Morrie, “Well hello, Shinya-kun, you’re looking beautiful as usual, are you still dating that shitty guitarist, what’s his name again?” Shinya stared Morrie down, “Watch your mouth Morrie, you don’t know Miya at all, why do you have to be so unpleasant?” Morrie moved closer, almost in Shinya’s ear, “Because that shitty band is out to ruin me, that’s why I’m unpleasant. That bullshit crowd tonight? It was all Mucc’s fault, they pushed us to the opening spot so the crowd was smaller. Everyone else defers to the almighty Mucc.  If we would have played third, we would have had a better show.” Shinya looked at Morrie’s face, it was like looking at a drug addict, no emotion behind the eyes except for hate. “You need to recheck your band, Morrie. Mucc isn’t the issue.” Shinya then turned and walked away shaking, looking for Miya. 

            Shinya told Miya what Morrie had said, and of course, Miya being the hothead, wanted to beat the crap out of Morrie, but Shinya calmed him down, told him not to worry about it, it was just talk. For the rest of the night, Morrie never said another word, just drank quietly at a corner table, watching everyone. As he was drinking…getting drunk really, he saw Koichi and Taka for the first time _. Well who the hell are these fucking kids? What the hell are they doing here? Fucking fanboys, trying to get laid by a rock star._ As he’s staring at them, his bandmate Tetsuya walks up and takes a seat with a plate of food in his hand. “Want some Morrie? You’ve been drinking, but you need to eat.” Morrie looks at Tetsuya, leans over and points to Koichi and Taka, “Who are those two boys at the Mucc table? They’re not musicians, or if they are, they’re new. Probably fanboys looking to get fucked by the rock stars.” 

       Tetsuya looked to where Morrie had pointed, “Well, the short one is Koichi, he’s Tatsu’s boyfriend, the other is Sato’s boyfriend, but I don’t know his name. They weren’t backstage during the show, must have been out in the crowd. I can tell Tatsu is hooked on Koichi, he’s sweet too, very polite, maybe even a bit star struck, it was cute.” _Cute, what the fuck_ , _cute._ _Stupid fanboy, he’ll dump Tatsu soon enough, as soon as he finds out what an ass Tatsu is, fucking wannabe rock star._ Of course, he didn’t say that out loud, turning instead to talk to Tetsuya, “Oh, how nice for Tatsu and Sato. Now all the members of Mucc have lovers, isn’t that nice.” 

            Tetsuya could tell that Morrie was pissed, but about what he had no idea, why would he care if Tatsu and Sato had boyfriends? He just shook his head and ate, asking Morrie if he wanted something else. Morrie went to the table where the alcohol was, and got himself a gin and tonic, which was more gin than tonic. At that moment, Miya was in front of him, not looking happy. “Morrie, we need to talk.” Walking away from the table, “What’s the deal with Shinya? If you have a problem with my band, you need to talk to me, not him.” Morrie put up his hands, “It was just drunk talk Miya-san, I’ve had a little too much to drink, I was disappointed at the low turnout for my band, that’s all.”

        Miya didn’t believe one word, but he gave the man the benefit of the doubt. “Can I ask you Miya-san, who are those two lovely boys that you have at your table?” Miya turned and looked. “Those two boys are Tatsu’s and Sato’s boyfriends…why?” Red flags went up. “I thought perhaps they were new to Danger Crue, and I wanted to introduce myself, but they’re not in the industry, are they?” Miya did not like where this was going, “No, they’re not in the industry, but they are with the members of Mucc, so they are protected, if you get my meaning. They are not up for grabs, Morrie.” As Miya turned to leave, Morrie whispered under his breath, “Oh, they’re up for grabs for sure, now that you’ve just told me no.”

            “What was that all about?” Yukke saw Miya talking to Morrie. “He’s just being Morrie, whining about the crowd not liking his band, that’s all.” Yukke trusted Miya, so he didn’t push any further. Turing back to the table, Yukke sees that Taka and Koichi have wide eyes and mouths hanging open. Yukke turns to look and see’s that Sakurai Atsushi has crashed the after party, not that anyone minds, with him in the room, everyone is a little star struck. “Hello Acchan! Nice to see that you let yourself in!” Tatsu was hugging Sakurai. “Well, I missed the show, I really wanted to see your band, I love the way you mesmerize the crowd, but alas, work had me by the balls again!” Tatsu looked back at the table where Koichi and Taka were staring at the legend. “Acchan, can you come meet someone for me please?” Tatsu walked over and pulled Koichi out of his seat. “Acchan, this is Koichi, my boyfriend.” Sakurai looked at Koichi and then back at Tatsu, “Oh my, you’re…” Koichi held a hand up, “Please…don’t say I’m adorable…Tatsu talks too much.” 

       Sakurai looked at Tatsu and then back at Koichi, and laughed. “Well, I wasn’t going to say adorable, but I was going to say you must be very special to have Tatsu-kun wrapped around your finger.” This made Koichi blush, “Well, maybe a little...” Sato had walked up to the table, “Hello Acchan, since you’re here…” Sakurai raised an eyebrow at Sato, “You too?” Sato nodded, “This is my boyfriend Taka,” Sakurai looked at Taka, who was almost paralyzed with emotion. “Oh, now _you_ I know about,” Taka gasped, “What? You know about _me_?” Taka turned and looked at Sato, “How does he know about me?”  Sato gave Sakurai a look, “Um, I can’t tell you pet, it’s a surprise.” Taka threw his head back, moaning. “You know I HATE surprises!” Sakurai laughed, “I’d better go before Taka beats the surprise out of me…which might not be a bad thing.” Turning to Sato and Tatsu, “You two are very lucky, looks to me like you’ve both struck it rich with these two beautiful young men.”

            The rest of the evening went well, no more Morrie incidents, and Sakurai had left before the end of the night. Taka was still grinning over the comment that Sakurai had said. “Kou, he said he _knew_ about me! What the hell does that even mean? Did you see him? Oh fuck, he’s so damned sexy…the shit I could do to him, or…let him do to me!” Taka heaved a great big fanboy sigh, which left Koichi laughing. “Taka, you’d better not let Sato hear you say that, he might spank you…or is that what you’re hoping for?” The two friends looked at each other and almost fell over laughing, not believing where their lives had taken them. They made their good byes, and left the venue, having had a great night. Everyone was tired so there was no after, after party.

            The other bands had started to move their equipment, and gather up their belongings, when Morrie cornered Ryo of Girugamesh, “So, you’re all friendly with Mucc are you?” Morrie looked menacing, and very drunk, slurring his words. “What the fucks with you Morrie, what about Mucc? Yah, I’m friendly with the band, they’re great guys, so what’s it to you?” Pushing Ryo against a wall, Morrie got in his face, “I’m mother fucking going to wreck Mucc! You saw what they did to my band…there was nobody watching my band, we had to go on too early, we should have headlined this gig, Mucc should have been the opening band! This is such fucking bullshit, I’m going to make them wish they were never in the industry!” Ryo shoved Morrie away from him, shaking his head “Dude, you need some fucking help, just drop it, it’s not worth it, it was one gig, shit…deal with it” Ryo shoved Morrie aside and went back to grab some equipment, leaving Morrie sputtering and swearing.

~~

            As they walk out to their cars, the group says their good-byes, each with a different destination. Koichi and Tatsu when home, the other two couples as well. All but Taka and Sato, tonight was different. As they get into the car, Sato turns to Taka and kisses him sweetly, “Thank you for a wonderful night…I love you.” Taka was confused, “Wonderful night? I didn’t do anything, well…maybe fanboyed over Sakurai-san a little too much, but other than that, I was just here.” Sato shook his head, “It is because you were here, that made it a wonderful night for me. Now I get to take you…for your surprise!” Sato reached under his seat and drew out a black scarf, “Okay, now let me put this on you…I want this surprise to be the best thing that has ever happened to you.” Sato leans over and ties the scarf around Taka’s eyes, “Wait…what? I can’t see where we’re going? Not fair!” He was whining like a 6-year-old at Christmas, “I told you, I’m going to make you love surprises!”

            They drive for what seems an hour, but really wasn’t more than 15 minutes. Pulling up to the hotel, Sato runs over and helps Taka out of the car, leaving the keys for the valet. Still with his eyes covered, Sato leads Taka to the elevators. Having set all of this up before the show, Sato didn’t need to talk to anyone, as not to give away the surprise. Guiding Taka onto the elevator, he pushes the 21st floor button. “What the hell are we doing? I can’t tell where we are…other than in an elevator.”

            Sato’s smiling, but not saying a word. They get off at the 21st floor, guiding Taka, Sato walks to the only room on the floor. Opening the door, he gives Taka instructions. “Okay pet, I’m going to leave you, and I want you to stand still for at least 15 seconds, I want you to count them, okay?” He releases Taka’s hand, which causes Taka to feel off balance. “Okay, start counting”.  Taka starts, One-One thousand. Sato runs into the room, turning down lights, making sure everything was put where he requested it. Taka was at eleven, Sato grabs his gift and stands in front of Taka. “Uh, ok, now what do I do?” Sato faced Taka, “Okay, I want you to listen to me for a minute okay?” Taka nodded, a bit worried. “First off, I love you. That’s a given. The fact that I found you, is beyond my comprehension, I can’t believe how lucky I am. You are everything that I’ve been searching for, since…shit, forever. I can’t remember being this happy, excited to see you every day, just excited and happy. I know I’m not good at this, so all I really want to say is…thank you.” Taka had started tearing up at ‘I love you’, now he was almost crying. “Why thank you?” Sato stood right in front of Taka, “thank you for loving me, for giving me a positive outlook on life. You are so fucking special to me, and to a lot of other people, I know you had a tough time recently, but that’s behind us, we now have a life time of fun…well and sex too, in front of us.”

            Leaning in Sato started to kiss Taka, slowly removing the blindfold. Opening his eyes, Taka gasped, the light in the room was dimmed, there was a large bouquet of red roses. “Where are we?” Sato held Taka’s hand and leads him to the window, opening the curtains, there was a spectacular view of Tokyo at night.  “Oh…shit! We’re so high up!” Turning to Sato, “What floor are we on?” Sato grinned, “Not floor, penthouse, on the 21st floor.” Taka stared at Sato for a second, then flung himself in to Sato, grabbing his cheeks and fiercely kissing him. “Penthouse? Are you kidding? Why? I mean this must have cost a fortune! Why would you do this?” Sato put his arms around Taka’s waist, “Because pet, I love you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I may not be a huge romantic, so I can’t write you love poems, well I could but they’d be really bad. So, I used that whole rock star influence thing, and gave you this instead.”

            Taka wandered around the room, smelling the flowers, walking into the bathroom, Sato heard a little cry of surprise. “Oh! Is this for us?” Sato looked at the large bathtub, with candles already lit, lavender floating in the water. “Yep, this is for us. But before we do anything, I have something for you.” Sato went to a table and picked up a small box, and a card. “Which should I open first?” Sato looked up, tapping a finger on his chin, “Um…the card first…” Taka looked at the card, it was addressed to ‘Taka-kun’. He raised an eyebrow, nobody even called him that anymore. Opening it, Taka’s eyes lit up, he looked at Sato, then at the card, then Sato and then the card again. “Are you kidding me? This is for me? Is this what he meant when he said he ‘knew’ about me?”

            _“Dearest Taka-Kun: Thank you for being such a huge fan of Buck Tick, and I was told that our song Dress has special meaning to you both. I would love to talk to you about it, so when the time is convenient, I would like to invite Sato and yourself to dinner with me at my home. I hope you enjoy your special night together.” Atsushi_

             “Is this ‘the night’? I mean, finally? Please say it is…” Taka was near crying, hugging Sato so tightly, “Yes pet, it is. So why don’t we start with a nice hot relaxing bath?” The bath was drawn to relax and sooth the nerves felt by both men. Sato wanted to be careful with Taka’s feelings, well aware of how fragile his emotional frame of mind had been in the last few weeks. Sato’s gentle nature was something that Taka had never experienced in a lover before. The depth of love he received from Sato was so pure, even over what he had felt with Koichi.

            Before the bath, Sato handed Taka the small box. “You forgot about this…open it, Pet”. Looking at Sato, Taka blushed to his toes. “Really? Uh, why?” Sato shook his head, “How many times can I tell you that you’re special, not just to me, but to a lot of people? Open it, Pet.” Shaking slightly, Taka opened the small box and gasped. “Oh! How did you know? I never said anything about this!” In the box was a Chrome Hearts necklace with a cross pendant. “Well, I’ve seen you looking at mine, so I thought you needed your own. Do you like it?”  Taka had small tears running down his cheeks, “I love it! It’s beautiful! Can you put it on me, please?” Sato took the necklace and put it on his lover. “It’s beautiful on you!” Sato pulled Taka into a sensual kiss. “I love you.”

             Stripping down, Sato saw his lover nude for the first time, “Uh…god Taka…shit you’re fucking beautiful…more than I could ever say, come here pet.” Taka walked over to Sato, “Here, let me help…” Pulling his shirt off, Taka slid his arms around Sato’s waist, hugging him, grinding his cock into Sato’s still clothed body. “Uhh…pet, really? You’re killing me here.” Taka pushed away, and started to unbutton Sato’s pants, looking him in the eyes with a seductive smile on his soft lips, sliding the pants gently and slowly off his hips, moaning when he sees his lovers cock for the first time. The frenzied kissing, with Sato licking Taka’s neck, made them both moan. Breaking the kiss, Sato leads them to the bathtub, getting in first, Taka gets in and leans against Sato’s chest, both men just feeling the exquisite touch of bare skin. “Taka, babe, I love you” 

            Sato holds Taka tightly, who then bends back for a kiss. They lay in the tub, just exploring each other’s bare skin, Sato gently biting Taka’s neck. Taka runs his hands up and down Sato’s thighs, loving the strong muscled legs.  Sato murmured in Taka’s ear, “gods, you’re so unbelievably sexy” With a slight purr, Taka leaned back into Sato’s chest, also feeling his lovers cock harden, “I don’t want to be anywhere else, I want to always be with you…you’ll keep me, won’t you?” That was the second time Taka had said something about Sato keeping him, he was puzzled by the words, but chose to ignore it for the time being, not wanting to lose the mood. Turning Taka’s head towards him, Sato kissed Taka, “I will always keep you, pet. I’ll never leave you, I love you so much.” Taka sat up and turned around, facing Sato, “How am I so lucky to have a loveable, beautiful and dorky boyfriend? I love you too.  After another five minutes of intense kissing, Sato helped Taka out of the bathtub, drying him gently and with more kissing and fondling in the process.

            Sato led Taka to the bed, both sitting on the edge, staring at each other. Sato noticed a small hint of nerves mixed with shyness. Facing Taka, he cupped the face of his lover in his hands. “Tonight, I will make you mine forever. After tonight, you will never doubt my love for you, I promise to love you and protect you and keep you safe.” Taka looked at Sato, cocking his head a bit, “You know, those sound a lot like wedding vows, without the obey part, are you sure you didn’t forget that part? Because, in the right setting, I will gladly obey you.” Sato looked softly at his boyfriend, “Maybe they are a type of wedding vow. All I know is how I feel about you, how you make me feel. Do you have any objections?” Taka threw his arms around his lover, “Gods NO! I accept everything, there are no objections whatsoever! I love you!” Hugging him closer, Sato whispered on Taka’s lips, “let me show you what it is to be loved and appreciated.” 

       Taka just stared at Sato, leaning into the kiss, a slight flush crept over his body.  _Gods, he’s such a great kisser._ Taka moaned, “Please…I want…gods please…” Sato laid Taka gently on the bed, “Shit babe, you’re…fucking beautiful.” Seeing his lover laid out before him, Sato’s heart raced. He moved to lie next to Taka, rubbing his hands over his lover’s beautiful pale body, every curve, ever dip, Sato wanted to feel all of it. Nuzzling Taka’s neck, Sato felt his way down his boyfriends long lean physique. “Unghh, please…stop teasing!” Taka forced Sato’s hand down to grip his cock. Grasping the stiff length, Sato gave it a few hard strokes, stopping suddenly. “Oh no you don’t…I have other things planned.” Taka started to pout, “You’re mean, you want to torture me, don’t you?” That statement forced Sato to roll on top of Taka, “Well, yes, of course I do, that’s the whole point of this, to drive you crazy and keep you bound to me forever.” Sato then kissed Taka so deeply it caused him to moan, and start to squirm under Sato.

            “Fuck, I’m going to lose it quick if you don’t stop wiggling.” Grabbing Taka’s arms, Sato held them to Taka’s sides. “You don’t play fair!” Taka whined. “Well, if you don’t want to go any further than some kissing and a blow job, lay still for five seconds.” Taka shivered at the authority he could hear in Sato’s voice. “What would you do to keep me still?” Taka whispered in a low sexy voice. Sato lifted an eyebrow, “Are you challenging me? Oh, Pet, that’s not a good idea.” Sato grabbed Taka’s arms, pulling them together at the wrist and pinning them over Taka, biting his bottom lip. “Mm…ah! Yesss…please” Taka mewled into Sato’s ear, hot breath on his lover’s neck. “Stay put, do not move!” Sato got up, padding to the bathroom, Taka staying in his exact position. _Fuck, why the hell did I say anything_?

            Sato returned to the bed, carrying the soft belts from the bathrobes that the hotel provided. “One last time, do you want this for our first time.” Taka said nothing but nodded his head in agreement. “Since I didn’t know about your…um desires, these will have to work for tonight.” Getting back on the bed, Sato straddled Taka. “Give me your hands, but don’t move.” Presenting his hands, Sato looped the soft belt to Taka’s hand and looped the ties into the headboard. Taka’s eyes gleamed as he tested the strength of the straps, finding them tight, but not excessive. Sato took a moment to view the new picture of his lover, tied to a bed, beautiful pale flawless skin, he looked so delicious. Taka squirmed slightly under the heated gaze of lover. “Please…touch me…” Sato moved off the bed again, retrieving the black silk scarf he had used as a blindfold to get Taka to the hotel, using it once again for the same purpose, to hide what he was going to do. “This will make things more interesting, don’t you think so?” Taka nodded again. With the blindfold in place, Sato leaves the bed once again, standing next to it, waiting.

            Taka whimpered after five minutes, “Um…Sato...Whe…where are you?” Sato leaned down and licked a nipple, causing Taka to gasp. “I’m right here,” Sato bit down on the small nub. “Fu…ck nggh!” Taka arched his back, fighting against the restraints, need to feel his cock, the pain of the bite shooting straight to his groin. “How does that feel? Do you want more? Or are we done for the night? I could just leave you like this and we could start over in the morning.”  Taka couldn’t see Sato reach for a bottle of lube, but when the lube was poured over his groin, Taka’s already hard cock started to twitch. Straddling Taka again, Sato reached down for Taka’s stiffness, “…so perfect… so beautiful.” Sato pulled Taka’s hips into his lap, still slowly stroking his cock. Adding more lube to his hand, and spreading Taka’s legs, Sato teased the ball sack rubbing lube over Taka’s hole. “yes…please…mmmSato…plea…”

            Sato placed his index finger at the opening of the now puckering ring. “I’m going to start slow, if it hurts, tell me.” Gently he pushed this finger in, watching Taka’s face, watching for any hint of pain. Taka tried to push down, wanting Sato to do more, faster, “Stop teasing me! Just fuck me…now!” His lover looked at him, “If that’s what you want.” Shifting Taka’s hips up a bit higher, Sato placed the head of his cock at the entrance, and he slowly pushed. “Gnnnh! Yes…in push in…!” Sato pushed the entire throbbing length with a long steady motion. “Gods, FUCK! You’re so fucking tight! I’m not hurting you, am I?” Taka’s head was rolling back and forth in frustration, “NO! Push…please just fuck me!” 

            Sato took a breath and started to move, gently at first, then more rapidly. Taka, not able to touch anything, cried out in increasingly louder moans, bucking his hips and rolling his head, causing Sato to grab Taka’s hips and to stay inside his lover. “Fucking…gods! I love you! You feel so fucking amazing.” Sato started to jerk Taka’s cock, knowing it would bring them both closer to the edge, and to the final push over that edge. “Sa…to! Mnngghh! Please…so close!” Bending over his lover, Sato was also at his limit. "Babe…fuck you’re so fucking pretty…you…uhng…close!” At that moment, Taka flooded Sato’s hand in white, calling out his lover’s name, Sato still jerking in time with his deep thrusts into Taka. “Shit!...cumm…..I’m gonn…..cum!” With one great final thrust, Sato stilled, flooding Taka’s ass.

            Falling forward onto Taka’s chest, the two tried to recover to normal breathing. “My god…babe…fucking unbelievable.” Reaching up to remove the blindfold and untie Taka’s hands, Sato nuzzled into his boyfriend’s neck. Once the feeling in Taka’s arms came back, he hugged Sato tightly, pushing his face into Sato’s neck and hair, then remaining still. Sato trying to pull away, only to be held tightly again, was confused on what was going on. “Pet, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Taka shook his head, but said nothing, still clinging to his lover’s neck. Sato rolled them onto their sides, and started to whisper soothing noises and stroking Taka’s hair and back _. What the hell? Shit, I hope it’s not me?_  

            After twenty minutes, Taka’s death grip started to loosen, and his breathing became deep. Sato pulled away, only to see that Taka was asleep, though his face was wet with tears. _Happy or Sad? Guess I’ll have to wait till morning._ Pulling Taka close again, he pulled the sheets to cover them, still whispering to his young lover. “You have no idea how much I love you. You’re everything to me.” Slowly Sato fell into the deepest sleep he had in years, with his young lover, locked in his arms.  

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This a short chapter. I've made up for it the next few chapters.

The morning after the live, the band members and their boyfriends meet at the beach café that where Sato had taken Taka.  Sato and Taka were glued together, Taka showing some obvious love bites, which nobody said anything, but it made everyone at the table smile. The group chatted about various things that happened during the live, and how they thought the other bands did. Shinya was looking at Miya with a pensive smile on his face. “Okay, I’ll bring it up…” Miya decided it needed to be said. “Shinya had a small run in with Morrie last night, but said it was mostly just Morrie being a drunken poor sport about the band lineup.”  This was news to Tatsu, who didn’t like what he was hearing. “I went and confronted him about it, he just claimed he was being a drunken asshole…which we all know he is.”  Shinya felt bad for not telling Tatsu, but he really didn’t think it was that big of a deal. The rest of the morning was enjoyed with good food, some silly stories about each other, and genuine love within the group.  Everyone departed for whatever they had planned for the day. For Miya and Shinya, just daily duties, but for Taka and Sato, sleep was in desperate need.

 

            The weekend passed quickly and before they realized it, Taka and Koichi had to be back at work at the HBG. Aki and Uta were in awe of the two, their co-workers were dating well known musicians in a very popular band. “What’s Tatsu like, Kou? He’s just so dark, and um…sexy.” Uta blushed so deep, that he almost looked sunburned. “He’s nice, and sweet, and yah…sexy too. He’s just a normal guy, you’ll find out when he comes for my break today.” Uta’s head snapped up. “Your break? He’s coming here? Oh Shit!”  Taka laughed, “Um, Sato may come by as well, they usually hang out together.” Aki looked at Uta who was turning bright red, “Um…Uta might need a break…” Uta was given a break to go sit down and cool off, the thought of meeting Tatsu or Sato was more than he could handle. Aki sort of blew it off, acting like it was no big deal, but Taka caught him cleaning more often than needed in the patio area.  “Hey Kou? Remember that first night? When we saw Miya, and then Tatsu? It hasn’t been that long, how have we gotten to where we are now?” Koichi shook his head, “I don’t know Taka, but it’s been amazing. I think we were just super lucky, or maybe it was like…hell I don’t know, cosmic?”  They both looked at each other and laughed. “Cosmic, Kou? Cosmic? Boy you sure come up with the dorkiest things.”

            The cosmos was in alignment as far as Koichi was concerned. He was watching Tatsu as he was sleeping, nuzzled into his hair and breathed it in. Tatsu then whispered Kou’s name in his sleep, turning over and throwing his arm around Kou and drew him closer. Koichi finally felt normal, no more questions on if he was a freak, sexually. His dreams couldn’t have been any better. From going to jerking off to a music video of a beautiful man, to living with and being loved by that same man.  And Taka, well he’d been rescued as well. He was so worried about him, Koichi couldn’t figure out how to help him, and it took a breakdown for him to finally find love himself.

            Sato had the right strength that Taka needed. He needed to be controlled a little, to be reassured that someone loved him, he knows Taka was afraid of rejection, now he’s no longer afraid of anything. Remembering the last live that he was at with Tatsu, how many people stopped by to talk to his lover, and how his lover introduced him to everyone first, before speaking about anything else. Being introduced to Sakurai Atsushi, or Acchan as everyone called him, was beyond belief. Sakurai, one of the most famous people in Japan, and Tatsu introduced him, ‘my boyfriend, Koichi’, he had to smile. Tatsu released Koichi, but only for a moment, as he then turned over and spooned Koichi to his chest, nuzzling Koichi’s neck. Kou heard him murmur “Love Kou…warm…Love you…” then start to softly snore. Koichi snuggled in as close as he could get, closed his eyes and slept in warmth and comfort, protected by his lover, with no fear in his heart.

 

            Summer was fading, the days getting shorter and the winter winds starting to blow. Fall meant less customers, at least until the holiday season started. During the holidays, the HBG would have small private parties in the patio area, with large fire pits to keep the customers warm, and a constant flow of High Balls to ward off the cold. Taka and Koichi continued to work together, with Aki and Uta being the second shift staff. Mucc was on hiatus. Doing different videos for Premium fans on NicoNico, all of them fairly amusing, especially Mucc Taisou.  Both Taka and Koichi were at the video taping of Mucc Taisou, and could barely contain themselves, laughing so hard that they finally had to walk away and go inside, “Haha! Did you see Sato? Bowling pin? What the hell does that have to do with Taisou?” Taka was going to use this to tease Sato for a long time.  After the video shoot, Taka ran to find Sato, which lead to some interesting overheard conversation, “NO! I will not wear this in bed! That’s just sick! No Taka, I won’t do those exercises naked! God, how did you become such a perv?” The rest of the band and the crew had to hide their faces just from laughing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've never seen this video , it's a MUST!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FX1GAI3e8Gk


	15. Chapter 15

       Fall was now in the air, with cold and wind, and less people visiting the HBG, resulting in less hours for Taka and Koichi. This also meant that there was only to be one person closing, from 10pm, to midnight. Tatsu was not happy with this arrangement at all, and came close to telling Koichi to quit. “You don’t have to work Kou, and I don’t like the fact that you’ll be alone for two hours at night. I’m coming every night to take you home, you’re not walking home by yourself.” This lead to a terse conversation about why Koichi was working at all. Tatsu arguing that if Koichi lived with him, he wouldn’t have to work, Koichi coming back with it was too soon for that. _What if I move in and it’s just not right? Then where does that leave me…homeless?_ Tatsu threw his hands up and walked away, muttering under his breath.

             Koichi sad on the couch, tears just under the surface, wondering if they had just had their first fight. He buried his face in his knees crying softly. Walking into the room, Tatsu froze when he saw Koichi. _Fuck! I’m a fucking asshole._ He walked over to the couch, and knelt down in front of his lover. “Kou” he whispered, “look at me.” Koichi slowly raised his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Baby, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been such an asshole about this moving thing, it’s just…I’m worried. I worry about you whenever I can’t see you, when you’re at work or with Taka or at the store...if I can’t see you in front of me, I worry” Koichi sniffed, “Did we just have our first fight? I’m sorry I’m being stubborn, but…it’s just…what if we uh, fight again? I’ll have to move out…and then I won’t have a job or a flat and I’ll be homeless or have to go back to my parent’s house.”

            Koichi was gasping in between words, breathing roughly. “Woah! Nobody said anything about breaking up, or being homeless, Kou!” Drawing Koichi into a hug, Tatsu whispered, “I’m not going anywhere, even if we fight, which most couples do sometimes. But you know what the best part of fighting is?” Koichi snorted, “There’s a best part? Pfft, Right!” Tatsu laid Kou on the couch, settling comfortably on top of him, he kissed his beautiful boy deeply, grinding his hips just enough to make Koichi moan softly. “The best part of fighting is…make up sex.” Koichi looked at Tatsu, then started to giggle, then full out laughter. “Make up sex? Really? So, are we going to fight a lot, just have to have make up sex?” Tatsu faked being hurt, trying to pout. “Well, you don’t have to laugh about it. Shit, I thought I was pretty smooth just now and you’re laughing in my face, and for that you get THIS!!” Tatsu started to tickle Koichi, who started squealing like a girl trying to get away, “Hahanooo! NO fair! hahaha You’re heavy get off of me...hahahnoooo!” Koichi finally wiggled his way out from under Tatsu, who then chased him into the bedroom, where the makeup sex began.

 

            On hearing about this new schedule change, Sato made the same arrangement with Taka, he wasn’t happy about having him close alone either. “This doesn’t sound like a great idea, I hope your boss keeps this as a long term solution.” Taka tried to explain, “We do this when it’s not busy before the holidays, we’ve never had any problems before, I don’t expect us to have any now, you’re a worry wart!”  Sato grabbed Taka, “No, I’m not a worry wart, I love you and want to keep you safe, what’s wrong with that?” Taka threw his arms around his boyfriend, “I love you, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting me safe, so I guess I’m okay with you picking me up after work.”

            The single closer shifts were working as planned, with Sato and Tatsu picking up their boyfriends on nights they had to close. Aki and Uta had similar arrangements with friends or family. The HBG had seen a decrease in customers even further, and management changed the closing times to 11pm, a full hour earlier, which made the employees feel better as they could still make the trains home. Taka and Koichi both said that they no longer needed to be picked up, and would take the trains home. Sato agreed, but Tatsu said absolutely not, he would still pick up Kou. “I don’t care if you can make the train, I still don’t want you walking around by yourself that late.” Tatsu was reminded of the assault that took place almost 2 years ago, when Koichi was almost raped by a creep at a college mixer event. “I’ll be okay, it’s not even five minutes to the station, really! You have better things to take care of than picking me up every night,” objected Kou. “Nope, it’s not out of my way, or takes away from my time. Not another word about it.” Tatsu was not to be swayed. Koichi grudgingly agreed.

            It was one of those nights, where everything seemed to go wrong, or at least, not as planned. Koichi was closing, the customers had drifted down to none in over 2 hours. Koichi started his closing duties, cleaning and making sure things were set up for tomorrow’s staff.  It wasn’t until Koichi realized that they were out of a key ingredient for the High Ball cocktail, that he had to stay a little later, checking inventory and going over an order list. As he was writing out the list he got a text from Tatsu, _‘hey babe, something happened at the studio, I have to go in, can you take the train? I’ll be here for a while, text me when you get on the train and when you get home, I love you’_.  Well, this sucks, guess I’ll take the train then.

            Koichi locked up the HBG and started towards the station. It was a quick five-minute walk, yet something felt wrong, something is behind me…but what? Koichi kept checking over his shoulder, but never saw anyone. This just made him walk faster, almost jogging, towards the station. Getting on the train, he finally relaxed, but looking out the window, he saw a man in a black jacket walking away from the train… _was he following me_? “Pfft, I’m such a wimp,” He remembered to text Tatsu after he got on the train, and then again when he got home. Koichi took care of some chores, grabbed a beer and watched TV for a while. He was just ready to drift off to sleep when his phone buzzed. “Hey babe, I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you up, everything okay?” Koichi hesitated to say anything about the suspected person following him, “Yep, everything is good, did you get whatever needed to be done at the studio?”

            He decided against saying anything, knowing Tatsu would worry and come flying over in a heartbeat. “Yah, it was just some paperwork thing with management, I could have done it in the morning.” They talked for a few more minutes, when Koichi finally started to nod off. “Hey sleepy, I’m going to let you get to bed, call me at some point tomorrow, okay? I love you.” Koichi mumbled a yes and a love you too, and hung up. Rolling over, it took less than a minute before he was deep asleep.

            Koichi and Tatsu spend the next day together, shopping, having lunch and just hanging out. Tatsu had noticed that Koichi was a bit more quiet than usual, not his normal dorky self. “Hey babe, what’s with you today? Are you tired? Getting sick? You’re just so not you, talk to me.” Koichi stiffened a little, “Well, I didn’t want to tell you last night, because it really isn’t a big deal and there probably wasn’t anyone there, and it was just me being paranoid.” _Kou’s rambling, what’s he hiding?_ Tatsu dragged Kou to a bench and sat down facing him, searching his face for whatever was bothering him.

       “It’s just…I thought that…someone was following me to the station…but there wasn’t anyone there, just me being paranoid, that’s all.” Tatsu frowned, this was not good. “Well, maybe you’re right, maybe you were being paranoid, but I don’t like this...this fucking blows. Maybe your boss needs to figure out something else besides closing after dark, it’s not safe for anyone.” Koichi protested, “I don’t get enough hours now, if he cuts more, I’m going to be broke!” Tatsu sighed and then smiled, “Kou, babe, you have me, I definitely make enough money to support both of us…I keep asking you to move in with me, it just makes more sense.” Koichi shook his head, “No, I don’t want that right now, I still think it’s too soon to move in with you…because…um,”

            He really didn’t have a legit argument against moving in with Tatsu…he’d love it, but it was just too soon. “Okay, okay…I’ll back off, maybe you’re right, it’s too soon, but for me, it couldn’t be soon enough, I want to wake up with you and go to bed with you ever day, to be able to fuck you whenever I want, that would be heaven for me.” Koichi lifted an eyebrow, “that’s what you really want… you just want me to be your little sex slave, available, naked at any time, right?” Tatsu grabbed Kou in a tight hug, kissing him almost senseless, “And what if it is? Would you be my little sex slave? Would you let me do whatever I wanted, tie you up? Spank you? Anything?” Kissing Koichi again, Tatsu drew deep moans out of Koichi. The two sat there and kissed for a good 10 minutes before Tatsu had to push Koichi away, “we have to stop or I’m going to fuck you right here,”. Kou just laughed and kissed his lover on the nose. “Okay, so no more begging me to be your sex slave, at least for today,” They went back to Tatsu’s flat, had a quiet evening of food, a sappy love story movie, and a nice late-night fuck. _Maybe it would be nice to live with you, but I’m still going to wait._

            The next morning, Tatsu is up early and Koichi can hear him in the kitchen making breakfast. Koichi stretches and turns over, pulling the blankets up, snuggling down into the bed and smelling his lovers pillow. Falling back into a light sleep, he wakes when he hears Tatsu’s voice, talking to someone, and it doesn’t sound like a happy conversation. Pulling a shirt on, Koichi pads out to the kitchen, where Tatsu suddenly looks up at him, a bit of fear on his face. “I’ll call you later, thanks for letting me know,” Tatsu hung up the phone, looking at Koichi, he’s angry. “That was Sato…someone followed Taka to the train station last night, and it wasn’t his imagination or him being paranoid, he saw the guy”.

             The color drained from Koichi’s face, his knees started to shake and he was reaching for something to balance on. Tatsu leans forward as Koichi starts to fall, “Woah, babe, it’s okay, Taka’s fine! Really, he didn’t get hurt!” Sitting Koichi on the couch, Tatsu squatted in front of him, “Take a deep breath, it’s okay, really. Sato has already called the police and filed a report, just to make sure it’s on the records.”

        Looking up at Tatsu, Koichi has tears in his eyes, “Then was there someone who followed me? It wasn’t just me being paranoid?” Koichi was shaking badly, Tatsu sweeps him up in his arms, and carries him to the bedroom, laying him gently down on the bed. Sitting next to him, he tried to reassure Kou that Taka was okay, unharmed. “Look, babe this might not be the same guy, if there even was someone who followed you. We won’t know until we talk to Taka.”

            Tatsu was heartbroken, watching is boyfriend fall apart from fear. He didn’t know if he could do anything more than just protect Kou, and how was he supposed to do that? Hire a body guard? Confine Koichi to his apartment, not letting him leave? He sat on the bed with his head in his hands, not knowing what to do or say. “Will you take me to see Taka please?” whispered Koichi. Tatsu turned and looked down at his boyfriend, who was laying on his side, still in tears. “Of course, I will, let’s go over and talk to him, maybe you’ll feel better after you see he’s okay.”

            Koichi was quiet on the drive to Sato’s flat, Tatsu didn’t try to talk to him, he could see just how upset this made his lover. Knocking on the door, Sato opened and ushered them in. Koichi could see right away that Sato was upset, but couldn’t tell if it was anger or fear or a combination of both. Taka was sitting on the couch, curled up with Eddy, Sato’s kitten. “Taka!” Koichi ran over and grabbed Taka and started crying all over again. “Kou? What’s wrong? Kou…I’m okay, really!” Taka was now comforting Koichi, trying to get him to stop crying, looking at Tatsu, he was worried about what was going on. 

       Sato motioned for Tatsu to come into the kitchen. “What happened? Did he see the guys face? What did the police say?” Sato just shook his head, “Taka left the HBG, was walking to the train station, he heard something behind him, just as he was going up the stairs to the platform. When he looked behind him, he saw a guy running towards the stairs. He didn’t get a good look at the guy’s face, just that he had long hair and was wearing a black jacket. Taka ducked into a bathroom, and the guy didn’t see him. He stayed in there till he heard the train pull up, and then he ran and got into a car, sat on the floor so the guy wouldn’t see him. He peeked up and saw the guy walking around, looking.”

            “The train door closed and it left the station, Taka looked back at the platform, the guy was looking at the train and didn’t seem happy.” Tatsu had mixed feelings about this, anger first, then fear, what the hell was this all about? “Tatsu, I’m so fucking pissed, pissed that I agreed to let him take the train, and pissed that some asshole is out there, maybe stalking people at the HBG. I don’t know what to do.” They both looked over at the couch, Kou was sitting next to Taka and they were playing with Eddy, not laughing but at least neither was crying. “I think we need to make sure the police know about this. Night before last, Kou thought he was being followed, but he wasn’t sure, he didn’t see anyone though, and he also didn’t tell me about until earlier today.” Sitting down at the table, the two men tried to figure out a way to keep their loved ones’ safe. It was going to be a long night, with no true answers.

            Tatsu and Koichi had stayed late at Sato’s, only leaving when both Taka and Sato looked like they needed to sleep. “Carry me,” Koichi wanted to be babied, he felt unsure of things, and how he was dealing with what happened to Taka. “Really? You want me to carry you?” Tatsu didn’t hesitate, but found it a bit odd. “Yes, I want to be carried, and put to bed, then I want to be fucked, more than once please.”  Tatsu raised an eyebrow at his lovers demands. “Uh, being a little bossy, aren’t we?” Koichi blushed, “Well, I’m not feeling too good right now, this thing with Taka scares me! I know it’s nothing, but…well, I’ll just feel better if you take me home and baby me a bit… that’s all."

      "Oh, and that you fuck me at least twice, if that’s okay?” Tatsu picked up his boyfriend and laughed, “If those are the types of demands you’re going to make on me on a regular basis, I’m pretty sure I’ll be just fine. Yes, I will carry you. Yes, I’ll baby you. Yes, I’ll fuck you more than once or twice, maybe three times if I’m still breathing. Don’t worry about the Taka thing, we’ll all take care of it. You two are safe with us, okay? So, no more worrying, just more kissing and fucking.” Carrying Koichi to the car, Tatsu was in reality, worried about the Taka thing as well, but there was no sense in alarming Koichi, he and the others would take care of it, somehow.

 

            “You’re moving in with Sato? But what about your flat? Are you going to keep it?” Taka had called Koichi to come visit the next afternoon to tell him the news. “He won’t let me out of his sight, and he said if I wanted to keep working, that I had to live with him, and he had to take me and pick me up for every shift.” Koichi was stunned, this was all happening so quickly. “So, are you like…okay with this? I mean, I know you love him, but living with him? If this is what you want I’m really happy for you! I’m also a bit jealous” Tatsu wanted Koichi to move in, but he wasn’t sure he was ready, their relationship was still so new, but so was Taka and Sato’s, but…  “No reason to keep the flat, it’s a dump anyways. Yes, I am happy…finally after all these years.”

            They continued talking for a bit, mostly about what it was going to be like to live with a boyfriend, all the sex they could ask for was a main topic. “Kou, but what about you? I don’t want you to be at the HBG by yourself. What happens if Tatsu can’t be there to pick you up? I mean you can call Sato and I, we’ll come get you of course, but…working there alone? I dunno Kou, it kinda scares me.” It scared Koichi as well, but he couldn’t let Tatsu know just how much. “I’ll be fine, Tatsu’s just as protective of me, as Sato is with you, we’ll both be okay.” Koichi wished he really believed that, but he didn’t. “So, when are you moving in? Do you need help moving anything?” Eddy was sitting on the back of the couch, playing with Koichi’s hair. “Nope, we picked it all up today, not much to move, really just my clothes and a few books. I don’t need a futon anymore.”

       Taka blushed when he mentioned the futon. Koichi scooted a little closer to Taka, “You never told me, how was it? I mean, the first …um time with Sato?” Taka’s head snapped up, “Why? Um…I mean, it was really good, he was super sweet, it was just really good.” _Why did I just lie to Kou about it?_   Taka didn’t say anything more, giving Koichi the impression that maybe it wasn’t that great. But why would Taka lie about it? _God, I hope it has nothing to do with before, with me!_ The two friends sat on the couch, playing with Eddy and talking about nothing much. Both caught up in their own thoughts. “I still think you shouldn’t be alone at work, Kou. So, any night you’re working, I’m going to be there, just hanging out on the patio, okay?” Koichi appreciated the thought, “Taka, honestly? You think I’m okay with letting you be my body guard, when you just moved in with Sato? Like you don’t have better things to do than to babysit me! Like have loads of amazing sex? No, Taka, I’ll be fine, Tatsu will probably be there every night anyways, and he’ll come pick me up too.” It was thoughtful of Taka, but Koichi didn’t want to cause any problems for anyone, including Taka.  

           

            Koichi started his laundry, with it having piled up while he was at Tatsu’s. “…wouldn’t be a problem if lived with him…” Koichi continued to mutter and have his internal struggle with the issue of living with Tatsu. The make-up sex they had after their first argument had been amazing, but that had just brought back the issue of future arguments. Their relationship was less than six months old, even with the deep connection they felt, Koichi was hesitant to make such a large step…living together. Looking at the time, Koichi had to leave for work in the next ten minutes. “I’ll call him on the train.”  Koichi spoke to Tatsu for the length of the short ride to the station near the HBG, “I’ll be there around 10:30, if you need me there sooner, just text me. I love you.” Koichi walked the short block to work, comfortable with the knowledge that Tatsu would pick him up that night.

            “Hey Uta, how’s it been today?” Koichi was guessing it was slow, since Uta looked bored out of his mind. “Slow, like no customers in the last hour type of slow.” Koichi had hoped his boss would opt to close at 10, instead of 11, but he understood the reasoning, it was the slow time of the year and every dollar made was important. “Go ahead and go home Uta, I’ll get everything done early, Tatsu is picking me up.” Koichi knew Uta had a major fanboy crush on Tatsu, but it was harmless, especially since Koichi genuinely liked Uta. “I wish I was working late…I mean!” Koichi smiled at his friend, “I’m sure you’ll see Tatsu soon, he always tells me to say hi for him.” Uta blushed hard. “Um…tell him hi back for me…please.” Uta grabbed his bag and left for the train.

            Uta had not been wrong, it was slower than normal. After doing all the back work, he called Tatsu, “If you’re not busy, can you come now? It’s really slow and I’m lonely.” It wasn’t fifteen minutes later that Tatsu showed up at the counter. Koichi had his back to the counter and didn’t see his boyfriend arrive. “Ahem, can I get a high ball please?” Tatsu had tried to disguise his voice. “Sure, give me a seco…” Koichi’s breath hitched when he turned around, his body flooded with déjà vu.

            When he saw Tatsu, he paled and felt dizzy. Tatsu noticed right away, “Kou? Are you okay?” It took Koichi a few seconds to answer. “Uh…Yah, just had some serious déjà vu just now.” Tatsu smiled, “Well, it’s kind of the same, you and I seeing each other for the first time” Tatsu gets his drink and goes to the nearest table, while Koichi helped a few customers. After the customers leave, Tatsu returns to talk to Koichi. “By the way, Uta says hi…he has such the fanboy crush on you, it’s cute.” Tatsu blushed, “Just as long as he knows I’m taken, he can fanboy me all he wants” With few customers, Koichi is able to close and leave at exactly 11pm. Tatsu hustles him to his car and drives him home. Parked in front of the flat, Koichi tries to entice Tatsu upstairs, “Sorry, Kou, we have an early meeting at the studio so early to bed for both of us.” Tatsu leans to kiss Koichi good night, “This wouldn’t be an issue if you just moved in with me.” He whispers in Koichi’s ear, drawing a moan from his boy. “Okay, I’ll think about it more.” Satisfied, Tatsu shoo’s Koichi up to his flat, watching until he is safely inside. “Soon, Kou, Soon.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER: Rape, non-explicit.

Koichi woke up late, after a long night of bad dreams. He felt like he had run a marathon, chasing after Tatsu, who was always just beyond his reach. _What the fuck was that all about?_ Rolling over and checking his phone, at text from Tatsu lit up _._

_Still sleeping? Going into the studio for meeting. I’ll call when I’m done. Dinner at my place?_

            “Wonder what he wants to have for dessert? Probably me” Laughing to himself, Koichi decides to sleep in a little longer, just in case he needs extra energy for tonight’s dessert.

            He can’t figure out what that noise was…what the fuck? Waking up fully, he hears his phone, “Hello? Oh, hi, no it’s fine, I’m awake. Aki? Is he okay? Yah, sure, no problem, I’ll be there. Bye”

            Crap, Aki’s got the flu, no dinner or dessert, well until later. Koichi gets up and showers and dresses for work. On the train, he texts Tatsu

_Hi, sorry no dinner Aki has the flu so I’m going into work, can you still pick me up? Call or text me, I love you._

            Koichi arrives at work, finding a stressed out Uta. “Thank god! It’s been stupid crazy. Aki had to leave, he was puking in the bathroom. His brother came to get him, and I’ve been swamped for almost two hours” Uta was frazzled, he and Koichi were busy for the next three hours, finally around 9pm, Koichi sent Uta home, “Are you sure? I can stay.” Koichi saw how tired Uta was, and sent him home. _I never heard from Tatsu, weird he usually texts me or calls me right back._ Koichi tried calling Tatsu, but it went straight to voice mail. _Oh well, train it is, but I’m leaving early._ Getting all of his back work done for the next day, Koichi went to bring the metal covers down for the counter. As he reached for the first cover, the lights went out. Koichi’s breath caught, his stomach dropped and he stood frozen in place, not knowing what to do _. SHIT_.  With the small amount of light reflected from the Tower, Koichi crept towards the light switch at the back door. Reaching out for the switch, Koichi was grabbed from behind with a gloved hand over his mouth. “Don’t make a sound, slut.”  Koichi’s arm was twisted tight behind his back, causing him to cry out, that swiftly earned a hard shove to the ground. Koichi tried to push away, tried to get up and run. _FUCK HELP ME._   He was kicked in the ribs hard several times, and slapped in the face which busted his lip open. Crying, confused and hurting, Koichi was then picked up and slammed against the concrete wall inside the HBG, with such force that the light in his eyes faded to nothing.

            Tied up in relentlessly long negotiations with management and tour promoters, Tatsu finally gets to check his phone, worried when he sees Koichi’s texts about him working for Aki. Seeing that the last text was only 45 minutes ago, Tatsu calls Koichi’s phone, which goes to voice mail. This doesn’t feel right, he should have answered this.   _Shit, where is he?_   He tries to text Koichi, but gets no response. Tatsu races to his car, reaching the HBG in less than fifteen minutes. Running up to the counter, the covers aren’t down, but the building is dark, “Kou? Koichi?” Tatsu runs to the back door, leaning in,

            “KOU? DAMNIT KOICHI ANSWER ME!”

Tatsu is frantic, calling Koichi’s name

            KOU!                 KOICHI ANSWER ME!!! 

Searching the seating area, KOU!!!

        He can’t find Kou! WHERE IS HE??? KOICHI!!!   KOU!

Running back to the seating area near the wall, WHERE ARE YOU KOU!

              Looking over the wall, he finds Koichi

OH MY GOD! KOU! KOU!!

Jumping the wall, Tatsu sees Koichi, unconscious, bleeding, clothing torn.

                KOU! BABY! ANSWER ME! KOU!!

      OH GOD NO!! KOU BABY I’M HERE !!

Tatsu dials 119

             PLEASE MY BOYFRIEND HBG PLEASE HELP HIM

Touching Kou

            BABY I’M HERE PLEASE KOU!!

He calls Sato

KOU’S BEEN HURT HBG PLEASE BRING TAKA SATO HURRY KOU’S HURT PLEASE TAKA BRING TAKA

                Crying, Tatsu hears sirens.  

KOU HOLD ON THEY’RE ALMOST HERE

                    KOU! 

The ambulance crew brings a stretcher

                           PLEASE HELP HIM

PLEASE KOU BABY

                             We’ve got him, come with us.

They take Kou to the ambulance

                     Sato and Taka arrive as Kou and Tatsu get into the ambulance.

FOLLOW US SATO PLEASE KOU’S HURT PLEASE!!!

 

 

            As the ambulance pulls away, Taka just stands and watches. “Come on pet, let’s get to the hospital” Sato gently pulls Taka to the car. On the way to the hospital, Sato calls Miya, “Koichi’s been hurt, we’re on the way to the hospital, will you call Yukke?”

            They arrive at the hospital, running to the ER, where they find a crazed Tatsu, crying. “They won’t tell me…he’s hurt… blood, I don’t know.” Sato grabs Tatsu, “Tell me what happened!” As Sato tries to get Tatsu to speak, Miya and Shinya run towards them. “What the hell happened?” Sato has gotten Tatsu to sit, trying to talk to his friend, but unable to understand anything he says. Miya looks at Taka, “Tatsu called, said Kou was hurt at work.” Taka had tears flowing down his face. “He was screaming that Kou had been hurt at the HBG, we don’t know how though.” Miya looked at Sato, who just shook his head. Yukke and Kai have quietly arrived, hearing what Taka had said. “Do we know anything about Kou’s injuries?” No one answered.

            The group sat in the hallway for two hours before someone came to speak to them. A young doctor came out. “Are you family?” Tatsu jumped up, “I’m his boyfriend, he has no family nearby…is he?” The young doctor understood the situation, leading them to a private room. Once they were all together, the doctor suddenly noticed who was in the room. “First thing, now that I have you here, I will assure you, that this will be dealt with, with the utmost discretion…I recognize who you are.”  The group looked at each other, “Your boyfriend, I’m sorry to tell you…along with being beaten badly, was also raped.” Shinya cried out, as Tatsu collapsed on the floor. “Oh…Kou…baby…no!” Taka fell into Sato’s arms, crying hysterically.

“What injuries does Koichi have?” Miya was in leader-san mode, for at least the next few hours. “The patient has several broken ribs, his left arm is fractured and he has multiple abrasions over his body and I’m afraid, some anal tearing.” With each description, Shinya leaned into Miya sobbing. Tatsu had stood up, “Can I see him?” The doctor hesitated a moment, “He is still unconscious, but I will let you see him for a few moments.” The doctor led Tatsu to the ER cubicle where Koichi lay in a bed. When the doctor pulled back the curtain, Tatsu groaned. “Kou…oh baby, I’m here Kou. I’ve got you now…you’re safe now, nobody is going to hurt you.” Tatsu was stroking Koichi’s hair, crying softly. “I’m sorry, but I need to get him ready for some tests and into a private room. I’ll be back to talk to you and your friends later. Please feel free to use that room, and the hospital staff will make sure you are not bothered by anyone. If you require anything, please alert the staff. The doctor looked at Tatsu sadly. “I’m very sorry you’re going through this, I will try my best to heal him as much as I am able.”

            Tatsu walked back to the room where everyone was waiting. “Tatsu, is Kou?” Taka clung to Sato “They need to run tests…the doctor said he would tell me when he’s in a room.” Miya was in a corner on the phone, Kai was comforting Shinya. “Where’s Yukke?” Miya hung up the phone, “He’s talking to the hospital director, making security arrangements. I just called DCR and the police, they will be out in the morning to speak with us.” Tatsu sat heavily on a couch, his head in his hands, “This is my fault! I didn’t get his texts until it was too late.” Miya squatted in front of his friend. “Right now, Koichi is more important than you or anyone else claiming responsibility. When he wakes up, he doesn’t need to see you in a mess. He’s going to need that strong, bull headed love of his life. This is going to be rough, but you have all of us, who love both of you, to help you guys recover and heal.” Tatsu looked up with bleary eyes, “Thank you” looking to the others, “Please, please help me get Kou back to being Kou…please.” With everyone saying of course, they all surrounded Tatsu, helping to support him through what was going to be the longest night of his life.

            It was another two hours, until the doctor came to talk to Tatsu. “He’s still not awake. He has a serious concussion, but no internal injuries. I can let you see him, for a few moments, but please be quiet.” Tatsu was the first to go in “Oh…no!” Koichi had bandages on his face and his arm in a cast. Tatsu leaned down and kissed Koichi on his nose. “I’m here Kou…I’m not leaving you…please wake up baby.” Sato and Taka were the next to come in. “How is he?” Sato was holding Taka who had broken down at the sight of his friend, laying in the bed. “Kou! Please Kou, wake up!” Sato whispered something to Taka, who then left the room. “Do you want Miya and I to talk to the police first?” Tatsu just nodded. “We will take care of what we can, before they come to you.” Sato walked to the other side of the bed, he leaned down and kissed Koichi’s head. “Hey Kou, it’s Sato, wake up for us, Taka’s worried and scared. We’re all here for you Kou, we all love you.” Sato looked at his long-time friend, who was just shattered. “He’ll be okay Tatsu, let us know what you need.” Sato quietly left the room.

            Yukke came in, but Kai was with Shinya. “Are you okay, Tatsu? What can I do, just tell me and it’s done” Tatsu turned to Yukke, “I don’t know what to do, Yukke. Do I call his parents without him knowing?”  Yukke shook his head, “No, I would wait on that. We know his relationship with is parents isn’t that great, anything else?” Tatsu couldn’t think straight. “No, I don’ think so…” His voice trailed off. Lying his head on Kou’s bed, holding his hand and Tatsu fell into a restless sleep.

 

            NO! TATSU NO! HELP ME! PLEASE! NO STOP! NO DON’T TATSU TAKA

            GET AWAY FROM ME!!!

Koichi woke up screaming. Tatsu pulled the cord for the nurse, struggling with Koichi, Tatsu tries to keep him from hurting himself and keep him still. KOU! BABY! I’M RIGHT HERE!

KOU! Look at me, Kou you’re okay!

            The doctor rushed in followed by two nurses, “Leave please.” Looking at Tatsu, who backed out of the room. Miya and Shinya are behind him. “Tatsu what’s going on?” Miya’s trying to get Tatsu to look at him, but he just stares at the door. “Koichi must have woken up.” Shinya whispered. Tatsu turned to Shinya “He was screaming Shin, screaming for me to save him.” It was several minutes until the doctor came out of Koichi’s room. “He’ awake, but I had to sedate him quite strongly. You can go back in, but he might not be aware of you being there.” Tatsu looked at Miya and Shinya, “come with me?”

             Shinya took Tatsu’s hand and they went in. Koichi was pale, so pale he almost looked… Tatsu resumed sitting in the chair next to the bed. “Hey Kou, baby, I’m here. Shinya and Miya too…can you look at me…please Kou, just look at me.” Koichi’s eyes fluttered a bit, but the sedation made it difficult for him to open his eyes fully. “Ta…tsu?” Tatsu gasped, “I’m right here Kou” Koichi turned to look at his lover, “It…hurts…why does it hurt so much?” Shinya leaned down, “Kou, sweetie, it’s Shinya, hey honey, good to see you awake.” Looking at Tatsu, he smiled, “Kou, everyone is here, to see the adorable Kou! When you’re all better, I have a surprise for you, but you need to rest first.” Shinya kissed Koichi’s forehead.  Miya turned to his friend, “I’ll call you after I’ve spoken to the police. Don’t worry about anything else. I’ll call you this afternoon.

            Tatsu sat in the chair, leaving only once to go to the bathroom. He had tried to sleep, but if Koichi moved or made a sound, Tatsu’s head would snap up. Koichi was restless throughout the next several hours, Tatsu sleeping when he could. It was well after dawn when Koichi woke up. Struggling to open his eyes, he felt that something wasn’t right. He couldn’t move, if he did sharp pains ran through his body. _What the hell_? Once his eyes focused he could see he was in a hospital room, but didn’t understand why. Looking down he sees a hand over his. _I have more hands_? The sedative keeping his brain fuzzy. Turning his head, he saw Tatsu, asleep on the side of his bed. _Why is Tatsu in the hospital? Is he hurt? Was there an accident?_

            Koichi tried to form words with his mouth, but it was so dry and it hurt. Trying to pick up his left arm, more pain _. And a cast? Shit._ He could only open his left eye, the other he couldn’t see out of. He couldn’t feel his lip piercings, they’re gone. Looking back at Tatsu, he tried to speak. “Ta…su…wat…er” Tatsu’s head came up with a start. “Koichi…hey baby. What do you want?” Tatsu was trying hard to keep his emotions under control. “Wa…ter” Tatsu pushed the button for the nurse, who arrived in seconds. “He’s awake, he wants water, can he have some?” The nurse nodded. “I can get ice chips for now, and I’ll let the doctor know he’s awake” Tatsu mouthed ‘thank you’. The doctor arrived soon after the nurse left. Walking into Koichi’s room, the doctor had a large smile for both Tatsu and Koichi. “It’s good to see you awake young man. How are you feeling?” Koichi just shrugged. “Why…” The doctor looked at Tatsu, who then shook his head, no. “You had an accident at work, but at the moment that’s not important. Are you in pain? On a scale of 1-10…” Koichi held up his right hand and flashed 5 fingers and 4 fingers. “Okay, I will order you more pain medication, but it will make you sleep.” Koichi nodded again, as the doctor left.

            “What happened? Why am I here?” whispered Koichi. Tatsu didn’t know how to tell his lover he’d been raped, so he stalled as long as he could, hoping the pain meds would come and thankfully, at the last minute the nurse came in. “Babe, you just rest okay? We can talk more, later.” Koichi tried to protest, but as the nurse injected the pain medication into his IV, his eyes grew tired and he went back to a dreamless sleep. Tatsu took the opportunity and left the room to call Miya “He woke up, yah, but he doesn’t know why he’s here. No, they gave him more pain meds. Okay, I’ll see you in a bit…oh wait, could you bring me clothes and all that please? Thanks.” Tatsu returned to the room, returning to his vigil post, next to Kou’s bed. _How do I tell him?_

            “Shin, do we have a key to Tatsu’s flat? We need to stop there on the way to the hospital. Miya was trying to make a mental check list of items to grab for Tatsu. Shinya handed Miya a key, “Good, didn’t want to bug the manager for one.” Driving to Tatsu’s flat, Shinya was unusually quiet. “Shin, what’s wrong?” Miya knew the answer already, “How do we tell Kou-kun he’s been raped? Who tells him that?” Shinya had tears streaming down his face. Pulling up to Tatsu’s flat, Miya turned to his lover. “I don’t know how to answer either of those questions, babe. I think that’s up to Tatsu to decide.” They went into Tatsu’s flat and packed some clothes and a toothbrush. Shinya made an unpleasant noise at the condition of the flat, “Really Tatsu-kun? Do you think you can bring Kou home to this?” Shinya looked at Miya. “We’re stopping here on the way back. Tatsu can’t bring Kou home to this…” Pointing at the living room and the kitchen. Miya smiled at his lover, Shinya is always the mother hen, watching over the Mucc brood.

            Koichi was still asleep when Shinya and Miya arrived. “Any change Tatsu-kun?” Shinya had moved to the other side of Koichi’s bed, stroking his hair and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. “No, the doctor said he might be asleep for a few hours.” Miya gave Tatsu his bag. “Go change and freshen up, it’s all in there. We’ll stay with Kou for you.” Tatsu smile and nodded, leaving his friends to watch over his lover. With a small knock on the door, Sato and Taka peeked in, “Is it alright for us to visit for a few minutes?” Taka was still in shock, worried about Koichi. Miya waved them in. “Tatsu’s changing, we brought him clothes.” Taka hesitated slightly, before tip-toeing over to the bed. “He looks…” Searching the other’s faces, he just couldn’t look anymore. Taka turned and left the room.

            “He hasn’t slept more than an hour at the most, he’s crying all the time.” Sato shook his head. Tatsu entered the room, looking and feeling at least somewhat better. “Hey, where’s Taka?”  Sato explained about Taka’s reaction to Koichi’s rape. “They’re best friends, he’s just devastated.” Miya looked at Shinya and nodded. “Tatsu-kun…please take what I’ going to ask as nothing but love and concern for you both…when and how are you going to tell Kou-kun what happened? We all love and support you and will help if we can.” Tatsu looked at his friends, smiling sadly “I don’t know, how DO you tell someone you love, this? I know I have to make a decision soon, maybe I’ll ask the doctor for advice.”

            A light tap on the door, and Taka peeking in again. Sato held out his hand, drawing Taka in close. Tatsu thought about what Sato had said about Taka’s emotional state. “Could you two do me a huge favor?” Digging in his pocket, he came up with a set of keys. “My car is still at the HBG, could you bring it here please? And an even a bigger favor, could you go to Koichi’s flat and pack everything essential and move it to my place?” A few eyebrows raised, “He’s moving in…I will never let him out of my sight again, that’s a done deal.”

~~

            “He’s been hurt badly, that’s as much as I want to say. I do understand the business end, and I agree with you, it was a poor choice. But I think you’re doing the right thing by closing the HBG until all the issues are sorted out. Thank you for your concern and calling me”

                                                                                    Tatsu Phone call to Owner of HBG.

 

            “This is the text he sent me, he had to cover a shift because another employee was ill. I didn’t get the texts till around 10pm, and I rushed over there. The building was dark, but the window covers were still open I went to the back door and it was open as well. I called out to him, I searched the patio area…then…I looked over a short garden wall…and he was there, curled up in a ball…beat up, bleeding and no pants on! I called 119 and then called my friend Sato. Kou…Koichi didn’t respond to anything I said…he just laid there! Um, the ambulance got there quickly and we left for the hospital. I don’t know who could have done this!

                                                                                    Tatsu to Police.

            “We got the call, Tatsu was hysterical, screaming that Kou, um, Koichi had been hurt at the HBG, and that he was bleeding. He wanted me to come and bring my boyfriend, Taka with me. Taka and Koichi are best friends and co-workers at the HBG. When we go there, they had just put Koichi in the ambulance, Tatsu asked us to follow them to the hospital.

                                                                                    Sato, Taka to Police.

                        “We know less than the others, we got a call to go to the hospital, that Koichi had been hurt. That’s all we knew until we got there.

                                                                                    Miya, Shinya, Yukke, Kai, to Police

 

            The police were willing to wait to interview Koichi until after he left the hospital. Tatsu was grateful for that as he had yet to tell Koichi about the rape.

 

~~

            Koichi woke up in the middle of the night, very confused. Still in a lot of pain, he looked to see Tatsu laying on a cot, next to his bed. His left arm was in a cast, which prevented him from touching Tatsu. “Ta…tsu?” His voice was raspy and not very loud, he really wanted water. Fumbling with the call button, he was able to page for a nurse. Koichi still had no idea why he was in the hospital. A nurse quietly came in, not wanting to wake Tatsu. “What can I get you?” She whispered. “Water or ice chips please.” The nurse nodded and slipped back out of the room, she quickly returned with ice chips. “How long have I been here?” The nurse spooned some ice chips into Koichi’s mouth. “About 36 hours. I’ll check with your doctor; most likely you will see him in the morning. Do you need more pain medication?” Koichi was given another round of pain medication in his IV, which pushed him back down into the blackness.

            Tatsu was startled awake by the morning noises in a hospital. Getting up, he returned to the chair next to Koichi’s bed. “Tatsu…” Tatsu knocked over the chair, standing up so quickly when he heard Koichi’s voice. “I’m here Kou baby. Oh gods, you’re awake, do I need to get a doctor, are you in pain? Do you want water?” Tatsu was almost in panic mode. Before Koichi could answer, a knock at the door announced the doctor’s arrival. “Ah, you’re awake, well that’s a good sign. Less pain this morning?” The doctor moved around the bed, checking IV lines, bandages, all with a constant stream of ‘does this hurt, well that looks good, you need another bag of fluids’. When he was finally finished, he stood at the end of the bed. “I think if you get one more round of IV pain meds, we can send you home. But I need to speak to your boyfriend for a few moments to talk about home care, so we’ll be right outside.” The doctor motioned Tatsu to follow him.  “What do I need to do for him” Was Tatsu’s first question. The doctor went over the home care instructions, giving Tatsu a serious look at the end. “About the rape, do you have a plan yet?”  Tatsu shook his head, “I don’t know how or what or even when to tell him. I’m sure he’ll figure out something…well…” The doctor nodded, “He’s going to feel the tearing almost as soon as he stands up. You’re going to have to tell him before we release him. He’s also going to require a therapist. We handle a lot of …people from your industry, and we have a list of quite a few therapists that are very discrete. How you tell him, I can’t help you with that I’m afraid. You may want to talk to your friends before you do tell him.” The doctor left, requested one more shot of pain medication and walked away, leaving Tatsu troubled on how to deal with telling his young lover he’d been raped.

            Shaking his head to clean his mind, Tatsu went back to join Koichi. The nurse had arrived with the medication and put it in Koichi’s IV. “I’ll be here when you wake up, then we’ll go home. I love you Kou.” Tatsu kissed Koichi’s nose as he drifted off to sleep. Tatsu sat back in his chair, watching the quiet breathing from Kou. Picking up his phone, he called Miya. “Hey, can you bring everyone to the hospital, I need some help.”

            “I need help…suggestions …whatever, on telling Koichi … about the rape.” They were using the same room the hospital gave to the on the night of the attack. “I don’t know how to do it, the doctor said we should tell him before he leaves, he’s going to know something’s wrong when he gets out of bed.” Searching the faces of his friends for an answer, and seeing none, Tatsu dropped his head into his hands. “I’ll tell him, Tatsu-kun.” Tatsu looked up at Shinya. “We have connected a bit since you first introduced us at the restaurant, when we sat together after the live, and other times. I know you all call me the mother hen, tending to the Mucc flock, and I actually love that you all see me that way. My band of course, would probably think otherwise.” Shinya moved to sit with Tatsu.  It’s going to be rough and he’s going to need you to be strong and not fall apart. Taka-kun, he’s going to need you as well, your best friend had the most horrific experience. He’s going to need you to make him smile, keep him company and let him fall into your arms crying. Koichi is going to need all of us to help him recover and it’s going to take a while. So, I’ll tell him Tatsu, but you’ll need to pick him up as he falls, when I do say it.”

            As Shinya moved to stand up, Tatsu grabbed him, sobbing into the younger man’s shoulder. One by one, the rest of the group moved to hug Shinya and Tatsu, ending up in a huge crying group hug. “Thanks Shin, I love you.” Tatsu whispered, or thought he did, “Hey, you have your own cute boy, this one’s mine!” Miya grabbed Shinya out of Tatsu’s arms and kissed him soundly. “You’re so damned special! I love you!” Shinya blushed at all of the attention.

            Sato and Taka confirmed that they had moves all Koichi’s belongings to Tatsu’s flat, which Shinya had deep cleaned and re-organized. Tatsu got a list of items that he would need to take care of Koichi’s injuries, from the hospital which Yukke and Kai took. All that was left was to get Koichi home. Miya and Shinya waited outside, with Tatsu at Koichi’s bedside. Koichi started to wake up, happy that the first person he saw was Tatsu. “Hey babe,” Tatsu gave him a quick kiss, “Want to go home?” Tatsu called the nurse to tell her that Koichi was awake. “We have to wait for the doctor before we can go home.” Tatsu was getting nervous. “I’m going to start paperwork okay? Shinya is here, he’s going to sit with you.” Koichi smiled at Shinya’s name…he really liked Miya’s boyfriend. 

            There was a light knock on the door, Shinya and Miya peeked in. “can we come in?” Tatsu nodded, “Kou, Miya’s going to help me, he’s got my car here. Shin’s going to sit with you. I’ll be back soon.” Shinya sat in Tatsu’s chair next to the bed. “Hi Kou, I’m so glad to see you awake.” Shinya reached for Koichi’s hand. “Can I get you anything? Water?” Koichi nodded. Drinking a full glass, he looked at Shinya with an expression of sadness. “What happened to me Shinya, please tell me. Tatsu said I as hurt at work…but that’s not all…is it?” Shinya shook his head, “No sweety, that’s not all. Do you remember anything at all?” Koichi looked pensive, “I went in because Aki was sick, but that’s’ all I remember. There’s more, isn’t there?” Shinya closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “Kou honey, you were attacked at work…we don’t know by whom…Tatsu found you behind a wall at the HBG.” Koichi’s face was turning white. With tears running down his face, Shinya explained, “You were beaten up badly, your arm broken, some broken ribs and some other minor injuries.” Shinya paused, “Koichi, sweety, you were also raped.” He just laid there, not responding, looking at Shinya as if he didn’t understand. “Raped?”  he whispered. Shinya nodded his head. “Does he know?” Shinya nodded again. “Tatsu has never left your side. The first twelve hours, Tatsu was inconsolable.”

            Koichi was stunned. Shinya said nothing, just held his hand. “Kou, do you need anything?” Koichi was silent. “I can go get Tat…” As Shinya tried to stand, Koichi wouldn’t let his hand go. Shinya sad back down, silently holding the young man’s hand. Koichi startled at a knock on the door. “Good to see you awake.” The doctor nodded at Shinya, Tatsu had told him what the other man was going to do. “Are you interested in being discharged, Koichi?” Koichi slowly looked up at the doctor, “Yes please.” In such a tiny voice, it broke Shinya’s heart. “Well, let me go over your care with Tatsuro, and we’ll get you unhooked from all this mess.”

            Shinya turned back to Koichi, “You’ll be living with Tatsu, and all of us will be there to take care of you. Please, don’t worry about anything other than getting well.” Koichi nodded, whether he understood or not, Shinya didn’t know. A nurse arrived to unhook the IV’s and an orderly came with a wheel chair. “I’ll help him get covered up, thank you.” Turning to his bag, Shinya pulled a much too big pair of pajama pants with kittens on them. “Sorry Kou, these are all I had.” Koichi half smiled. Shinya left the hospital gown on, and helped Koichi into the pajamas. The nurse returned with a bag of medications and more instructions. “Thank you, I’ll give these to Tatsuro.”

            As the nurse was leaving, Tatsu came in, looking a bit nervous. “Ready to go baby? I’m going to put you in the chair, okay?” As if he was lifting a newborn, Tatsu put Koichi in the wheel chair, with Shinya covering him with blankets. “Oh, I forgot!” Shinya reached into his bag and handed Koichi a pair of large sunglasses. “The doctor wants you to keep that right eye covered for a while.” Wheeling Koichi to a side door, away from possible prying eyes, Tatsu gently placed Koichi in the back seat of his car, with Miya driving. Koichi hadn’t spoken a word in the last hour, which frightened both Shinya and Tatsu.

            When Miya pulled up to Tatsu’s flat, Koichi looked out the window, then at Tatsu, “Kou baby, you’re staying me until you’re well, however long that takes, okay?” Koichi nodded. Tatsu looked at Koichi and smiled. _Why hasn’t he said anything_? Tatsu carried Koichi up to the flat, with Miya and Shinya bringing in all the items from the hospital. “Kou, do you want to be on the couch or in bed?” Tatsu hesitated. “Couch please.” In a tiny whisper. “Okay, I’ll get some pillows.” Shinya sat down next to Koichi. “Will you be okay if I leave?” Koichi shook his head, “Please stay!” Shinya turned to Miya, “I’ll call you in a bit.” Miya bent over to kiss Shinya, “Kou, I’m not far away, have Shin or Tatsu call if you need me.” Koichi nodded. Tatsu, his arms full of pillows was standing in the hall, trying to steel his nerves with a deep breath, he goes into the living room. “Kou, I even brought your own pillows from home, I know how much you hate mine.” Koichi gave Tatsu a small smile, “Thanks.”

            Following the instructions from the hospital, Kou could only eat soup or very soft food. His first real meal in three days was Miso soup, but Koichi was apathetic about it. “Baby, Kou, you need to eat. I know it’s hard because of your lip, but please try.” Shinya motioned for Tatsu to go to the kitchen. “I think we need to get him into bed with some pain meds. Maybe after a good night’s sleep with you, things will be better tomorrow.”  Shinya went to sit next to Koichi, handing him a glass of water and a pill. “Sweety, you need to take this, it will help you sleep, okay? I’ll come by tomorrow afternoon to see you.” Shinya leaned over and gave Koichi a kiss on the forehead. Tatsu had called Miya and he was waiting downstairs. “Shin, thank you for everything.” Tatsu was tearing up. “Go take care of your boy, he really needs you.”

            Tatsu returned to the couch, seeing that Koichi was almost asleep. Locking up the flat, Tatsu carried Koichi to the bedroom, gently laying him on the bed. Changing into sleep pants and leaving a light on in the bathroom, Tatsu crawled into bed, wrapping his arms around Koichi the best he could. He kissed his boy on the forehead. “I swear, I’ll find out who did this to you, Kou, I’ll make sure of that.” Koichi instinctively snuggled into Tatsu’s arms, only restricted by his injuries, as he settled he made a soft sound and smiled.

~~

Turning over, Koichi cried out, “Tatsu!” He wasn’t sure where he was or why he hurt so much. His mouth was dry and his eyes wouldn’t open. “Tatsu!” he cried again, terrified that he was alone. Getting ready to scream again, the bedroom door was flung open with such force the handle put a hole in the wall. “Kou! Baby, I’m right here!” Tatsu had only heard the second scream, not realizing his lover had awoke from his restless night of sleep “It hurts, why does it hurt so much? Tatsu, I’m scared! Please…” Tatsu tried to calm Koichi, whispering soothing sounds and holding him as best as he could despite the injuries and not wanting to cause Koichi anymore pain. “Baby, your right eye is covered with a patch, you got hit in the face, the doctor wants you to keep it covered to help it heal. Let me look at your left eye…it’s just a bit swollen, probably from sleeping so much, I’ll get you a warm cloth okay?” Koichi nodded, seeming to calm down a bit with Tatsu’s soothing words. “Here, let me do this, you have some stitches over your eye.” As gently as he could, Tatsu carefully applied the warm wet cloth to Koichi’s face, hoping to alleviate some of the swelling. “There, feel better? Try to open your left eye.” Koichi blinked, slowly, opening his eye. Seeing Tatsu hovering over him, a tear formed. “Why does everything hurt so much? I can’t breathe at all, it hurts.”

            Tatsu got up and got into bed, “Baby, you were beaten so badly, you have a few broken ribs on your right side, you won’t be taking many deep breaths. The doctor sent you home with a device so we can measure your breaths, you have to do it twice a day.” Then it happened, Koichi smiled at Tatsu, “are you going to play doctor with me?”  It was that smile that broke Tatsu, bringing him to tears, but knowing now, that he still had his beautiful boy. “Well, only if I play nurse first, are you hungry or thirsty? What can I get you?” Still being a bit fuzzy, Koichi could only think of water. “Okay, then if you decide later, you can have something to eat.” The first part of that day, Tatsu cuddled Koichi in bed, sleeping when he did, and making them miso and just holding him.

            Tatsu received a text from Miya, asking if he and Shinya could come over for a short visit, as Shinya had a surprise for Koichi. “Are you up to seeing Miya and Shinya?” Koichi nodded. “Could you move me to the couch please?” This request brought on a flurry of Tatsu arranging pillows and blankets and over doing all of it. “Okay, I’m going to pick you up, tell me if it hurts.” Just by moving to the couch, made Koichi feel much better, more normal. “Shinya says he has a surprise for you…no idea what it is.” Making Koichi some miso, Tatsu was trying to stay busy, all to avoid talking to Koichi about the rape. He just didn’t know how or what to say to him.  Tatsu had just given Koichi his soup when Miya and Shinya showed up. Miya was carrying a large bag, and Shinya was hiding something behind his back. “Hi Kou-kun, as I promised, I have something for you, so close your eyes. Koichi heard Tatsu groan, “Shin? Really?” Shinya gave Tatsu a dirty look. Walking to the couch, Shinya held out Koichi’s gift and put it in his lap. “Kou, open your eyes.” What everyone heard then was a gasp of pure joy. “OH!” In Koichi’s lap sat a very tiny, very black kitten, with large green eyes. “Really? Is he mine?” Tatsu groaned again. “Shinya!” Miya patted his friend on the back, “Better you than me.” The kitten walked up Koichi’s chest and immediately nuzzled him in the nose. “We found him near our garage a week ago, right after it had rained, we were going to keep him, but I think he needs someone like you, Kou-kun, to take care of him.”

            After nuzzling Koichi for five minutes, the tiny kitten curled up right under Koichi’s chin, falling asleep. “Thank you, Shinya! I love him!” Tatsu still giving Shinya the evil-eye, finally heaving a great sigh. “Fine, we’ll keep him. Kou, you’re going to have to name him.” Koichi thought for a moment, “Kou, take your time, come up with a good one.” Shinya had tears in his eyes, he so desperately wanted to help the young man he had come to care about so quickly. “We just wanted to stop by to see you, call me Kou-kun, whenever you want, I’ll come by when I can.” Shinya got up and kissed Koichi on the forehead. “Thank you, Shinya, for…um, everything.” Koichi knew that he could talk to Shinya, when he was ready. “I’ll call you later.” Tatsu told Miya. As Tatsu came back into the living room to check on Koichi, he found his boy asleep with a tiny black kitten under his chin. Tatsu was feeling hopeless.   _How can I fix you? Can I fix you?_ Sitting on the couch with his arms around Koichi’s knees, he laid his head back and slept.

            There was something wrong, but not in a bad way, just not normal. Tatsu couldn’t figure out what was happening. “OW! Wha…? Koichi!” Tatsu touched the end of his nose, it was bleeding slightly. The tiny kitten Shinya had given Koichi, was sitting on Tatsu’s lap, looking innocent. “You little shit!” Koichi moved, groaning, “Why are you yelling?” It was dark in the flat, Tatsu checked the time; 7:16. They had both fallen asleep for just over three hours, “Your little monster bit me on my nose.” Getting up to turn on some lights, Koichi giggled, “You’re not a monster, are you Teo? You’re just hungry.” As to agree, Teo made a tiny cry. “Teo? So, that’s his name?” Turning away from Koichi, Tatsu smiled, “Ok mons… I mean Teo, let’s see what’s in this bag?” Teo walked around the kitchen, demanding food, which Koichi thought was very cute. “Be careful! Don’t step on him.” Tatsu found two bowls for food and water, placing it in front of the demanding kitten, who then attacked the food with gusto. “Litter box in the guest bathroom?” he asked Kou. “Yes please, then he has some privacy.” “I’ll love him too, eventually, isn’t that right you little monster?” Tatsu swiftly bent over the back of the couch and kissed Koichi gently. “Thank you.” Koichi said in a soft voice.

            After Teo was taken care of, Koichi was next. “What can I do for you?” Koichi looked uncertain and nervous, “Um…can you…um,” Koichi was turning red, “Shit, this is embarrassing, could you help me to the bathroom please?” Tatsu sighed, “Of course baby.” Tatsu gently pulled the blankets off Koichi and carried him to the bathroom. “Let me know if you need help.” Koichi just blushed. Closing the door, Tatsu moved away, listening for any sound that indicated that Koichi needed his help, and for anything that just sounded wrong. Hearing the toilet flush, he was going for the door, when it opened, “I’m okay. I can walk.” “Okay, if you’re sure.” Tatsu was torn by wanting to help Kou, and glad that he was wanting to move on his own. Koichi walked slowly and carefully back to the couch, where Teo was waiting. Sitting gingerly, Koichi tried to put his legs up, but with the broken ribs, he finally looked up at Tatsu, who then carefully swung his legs up for him.

            “Are you hungry? Shinya brought some of that Icelandic yogurt you like, it’s cherry?” Koichi nodded, “That sounds better than miso.” They sat on the couch together, eating and watching TV, Teo bouncing between them playing.  They were watching the local news when it started; a picture of Tokyo Tower and the HBG, with a reporter talking about a sexual assault. “SHIT!” Tatsu jumped up, spilling his yogurt and Teo on to the floor, unsuccessfully looking for the remote, he ran over and shut the TV off. Turning to look at Koichi, “Oh, god, baby!” Koichi was pale and shaking, tears forming quickly. Tatsu sat down and started to reach for Koichi when his phone went off, it was Taka. “Taka, have Sato bring you over right now please.” Sitting next to Koichi, holding his shaking body, it was all he could do to keep from breaking down himself. They sat that way until Taka walked through the door. As Tatsu got up, Taka ran over and held his best friend, who by then had begun to sob.

            Sato and Tatsu stood on the small balcony of the flat, both watching the two young men whom they loved, comforting each other. “How the fuck did that info get out? I thought we had all the info under control! The hospital said they would be discrete!” Tatsu was furious. “How did the press find out? What else was said? I turned it off as fast as I could, names weren’t revealed, were they?” Sato shook his head, “No names, but they said it was an HBG employee.” Tatsu paled, “FUCK! Who fucking leaked the info?”  Taka had looked at the two men on the balcony, and nodded for them to come inside, Koichi was no longer shaking, but still pale. “Kou, we will find out who leaked this stuff, okay?” Sato reached down to give Koichi a kiss on the head. “Thanks” whispered Koichi.

            After an hour, and introducing Teo to Taka, Sato and his boy went home. Taka had promised to bring Eddy over for a play date. “Kou, I’m sorry, I didn’t know, we tried to keep everything quiet and we thought we had. The hospital assured us that they would say nothing. I don’t know how this got out.” Koichi just nodded. “Can we go to bed? I’m really tired and hurting some.” Tatsu bundled his lover up and placed him gently in bed. Changing into sleep pants, Tatsu got into bed, drawing Kou into his arms. That’s when a cold, wet tiny nose burrowed between the two lovers, curing up under Kou’s chin.  “Comfortable Teo?” The kitten yawned and closed his eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

             The police wanted to interview Koichi. It had been almost five days since the assault, and the police needed as much information as possible. Tatsu had asked for plain clothes and no police car due to the info that had already been leaked. The police understood and a time was scheduled. Tatsu had then called Miya, asking him to bring Shinya over for support. Koichi was understandably apprehensive about talking to anyone, but with Shinya with him, he felt somewhat more confident. Tatsu helped Koichi take a shallow bath and washed his hair, hoping to calm his nervous lover. Shinya had arrived and sat in a chair next to the couch to hold Koichi’s hand, Miya and Tatsu stood in the kitchen.  The two detectives arrived, one of them was a seasoned veteran, the other was slightly younger. Sitting in chairs across from Koichi and Shinya, they took out a small recording device and placed it on the table.

            “My name is Detective Fujioka, I am the lead detective for your case, this is my partner, Detective Aoyama.” Looking at Shinya, Fujioka raised an eyebrow, “You would be?” Shinya patted Koichi’s hand, “Shinya, I am a close friend of Koichi and Tatsu. I am also the drummer for Dir En Grey.” Aoyama suddenly sat up a little taller. “We are aware of Koichi’s close circle and we will try our hardest to be discrete.” Tatsu snorted loudly, causing both detectives to look over into the kitchen. “Problem sir?” Miya placed a hand on Tatsu’s arm. “Yesterday evening, there was a news report on TV about the assault, though no names were provided. This caused a great deal of trouble for both Koichi and Tatsu, and a lot of anger from his close friends and from our industry. We would like to be assured that it will not happen again.” Miya was seething as much as Tatsu, but had it under control slightly better.

            The detectives returned to questioning Koichi, who had Teo in his lap, with Shinya still holding his hand. “You were called into work a shift for another employee, correct?” Koichi nodded, “Aki…Akira, he had the flu, so my boss asked if I could work.”

            “You let the other employee...” looking down at his notebook, “Uta, leave at nine pm. After that, what were you doing?” Koichi struggled to answer, closing his eyes, a death grip on Shinya’s hand.

            “Um…I probably helped some customers.” His voice was dropping to a whisper.

            “Probably?” Detective Fujioka leaned in, “Do you remember what you did exactly?”  Tatsu was getting angry. _What do they expect from him?_

“No, I remember sending Uta home…then I woke up in the hospital.” Koichi seemed to shrink into himself, trying to make himself as small as possible.

            “Do you remember being atta…” Fujioka stopped, looking at Tatsu.

            Tatsu had enough. “He doesn’t remember anything! He had a bad head injury. Stop badgering him!”

            Miya put his arm out to block Tatsu from going to Koichi. “Tatsu! Stop it!” Tatsu looked at Miya, red-faced and angry, he turned back to the kitchen.

            Detective Aoyama leaned over to his partner, and whispered in his ear. “Could you step outside with me for a minute, gentlemen?” Fujioka had Tatsu and Miya leave the flat.

            “Koichi, I apologize, Fujioka is old…well old school that is.” Koichi gave Aoyama and small smile. “We really just want to arrest whomever it was, that hurt you. Sometimes, we have to ask unpleasant questions.”

            Koichi sighed. “I just wish I could remember.” Tears had started to fall. “…but I don’t, I can’t, I ….” Aoyama made a note on Koichi’s answer of ‘I can’t’.

            “That’s an awfully cute kitten, what’s his name?” Koichi looked down at his lap, “Teo, Shinya gave him to me yesterday, as a surprise.” Koichi seemed more childlike in that single moment, that Shinya looked away, as he teared up.

            “Well, it looks like you have some wonderful friends and a pretty awesome boyfriend as well. I’ve actually seen both bands, Diru and Mucc.”

            Shinya looked at the detective, “Really? I find that rather odd, I don’t know why.” Shinya was smiling, “I hope then that you understand our special circumstances, Detective.” Aoyama looked at Shinya, then at Koichi. “Yes, actually I do. I know that open relationships in your industry are frowned upon, specifically because of the fans. It’s a shame really, to have to hide who you love.” Shinya relaxed a bit, Aoyama seemed genuine.

            Detective Fujioka, Miya and Tatsu came back inside, Tatsu leaning over the back of the couch to kiss Koichi. “I’ve got what I need for now.” Fujioka motioned for Aoyama that they were leaving.  Aoyama gave Koichi a card. “Call me anytime if you remember anything, even if it’s a small detail, okay?” Koichi smiled, “Thank you, I will.” The two detectives gave cards to Miya and Tatsu. “We will let you know of any new developments.” Miya showed them out.

            “Kou, baby, are you feeling okay?” Tatsu thought Koichi looked pale, “I’m tired, I think Teo and I need a nap” Shinya helped Koichi up off the couch, and walked with him to the bedroom, helping him into bed. “Thank you, Shinya, for staying with me.” Shinya gave Koichi a quick kiss, “Of course, Kou-kun, anytime. Sleep well.” Shinya closed the door. Shinya rejoined Miya and Tatsu, looking at Miya, he walked straight into his lover’s arms. “Tired?” Shinya just leaned into Miya. “Okay, that’s enough of an answer for me.” Miya let Tatsu know they would call the next day, and the couple left. Tatsu felt wrecked and decided that he needed a nap as well, crawling into bed with Koichi and Teo.

~

            _“Well that’s at least a little promising. No, I understand, it’s just very frustrating for me, I want this bastard caught. Koichi deserves to live without fear. Yes, I know, thank you Detective Aoyama.”_

            Koichi had gotten himself out of bed and into the bathroom, while Tatsu was on the phone, walking slowly to the couch, Tatsu was surprised to see him up and about. “Hi Kou babe, can I…” Just as Tatsu was going to walk to the couch, Teo rushed in, crying loudly to be fed. Koichi giggled at the dance Tatsu was doing to avoid stepping on the tiny kitten. “OK! Stop screaming! I’ll feed you.” Glancing over at Koichi, Tatsu was relieved to see his young lover giggling.

            “I heard you on the phone, was it the police?” Tatsu wanted to avoid taking about anything that may trigger fear in Koichi. “Detective Aoyama just calling to check in with us, nothing new on their end yet. Still doing interviews. What do you want for dinner tonight?” “Anything but miso or yogurt, I’m so over them both. Can I have udon?” the couple had slept for a few hours after the initial police interview, now they just wanted a quiet night to themselves.                 “Udon?  There’s a shop close by, I’ll call and order delivery, how’s that?”  Koichi had gotten up off the couch, walking slowly, he put his unbroken arm around Tatsu, “Hug me.” In a demanding tone. “You can’t hold me when we’re in bed, I need a warm Tatsu hug.” Tatsu gently put his arms around Koichi, pulling in close and laying his cheek on Kou’s head. Koichi made some soft sounds, nuzzling into Tatsu’s chest. They stood like that for several minutes, until Tatsu kissed the top of Kou’s head, and pulled away. “Okay, enough of that for now, I need to call for food, and you need to go sit down.” Tatsu turned and picked up Teo, “Take this little monster with you.”

            After dinner, Koichi lay on the couch, his head in Tatsu’s lap. Tatsu was carding Koichi’s hair and tracing the line of stitches above Kou’s left eye. “What happens next? I mean, you can’t stay home with me forever, you have practice and lives.” Smiling sadly, Tatsu wasn’t sure what to tell Kou. “Well, we only had one live coming up we’ll probably cancel that one.” Koichi raised his head, “You can’t cancel! That’s not fair to the fans! Don’t cancel, please…” Koichi’s outburst startled Tatsu, “It’s one, babe, you’re more important.” Koichi struggled to sit up, “Mucc fans are important too! Maybe Shinya or Taka can come stay with me? Taka wanted to bring Eddy to meet Teo, please, don’t cancel a live because of me!” He was nearly in tears, which scared Tatsu. “Okay, it’s okay Kou, I’ll call our manager and talk to the others, if Taka can come over, we won’t cancel, okay?”  Over the next few days, Taka and Eddy were with Koichi most of the time. Mucc decided not to cancel the live, which went well, despite Tatsu’s worrying the entire time.

            Koichi however, had started to worry, a lot. Waking before Tatsu one morning, Koichi had been watching his lover sleeping. _Why hasn’t he really kissed me yet?_ Koichi snuggled up against his lover, wanting more physical contact. Carefully, Koichi put one leg over Tatsu’s hip, trying to get closer. Tatsu murmured in his sleep “love…Kou.” _Well at least he still loves me_ , _but why hasn’t he…_ Before he could end that thought, Tatsu had turned on his side, facing Kou, drawing him against his hips. Koichi nuzzled into Tatsu’s neck, breathing in his scent deeply. He could feel Tatsu’s hardened length pressing against him, Koichi stopped breathing. _Shit what do I do now?_ Koichi slowly starts to breathe again, hoping he didn’t wake Tatsu, who made another ‘love Kou’ moan and grasped him tightly again. Lying still for another half hour, breathing in Tatsu’s scent, feeling the comfort and safe feeling in his arms, Koichi began to snore softly.

            _What is pinching me?_ Tatsu’s eyes flutter open, surprised to find Koichi entwined in his arms. “OW!” Turning his head, he spots the pinching bandit, Teo, on his hip, kneading. “Psst, Teo! Stop that you little shit.” Koichi stirred in Tatsu’s arms, “Morning beautiful, comfortable?” Koichi made a rather rude noise, “Only if you don’t move, then I’ll be comfortable.”  Bit by bit, the _adorable Kou_ was coming back to life. Tatsu shifted uncomfortably, as he tried to readjust his morning wood, that was being made stiffer, being that close to Koichi. He was worried about scaring Koichi by showing anything overtly sexual. “Um, Kou baby” Koichi muffled a response. “Um…I’m uh…shit!” Koichi just grinded his hips into Tatsu, who then groaned. “Kou, as wonderful as this feels, you’re in no condition to…um play.”

            Looking up, Koichi stuck out his lower lip, “Can you at least kiss me properly? Well, without busting my lip open again? I need to be kissed…NOW!” Without a moment’s hesitation, Tatsu swooped down and sucked Kou’s pouty lip, making him moan. “Kou, don’t tease me please baby, you have no idea how much I want to make love to you. Koichi pulled Tatsu in for another deep passionate kiss, not saying a word. Tatsu looked down and saw tears forming in his boy’s eyes. “I love you, Tatsu.” He whispered. “Baby, don’t cry, what are those tears for?” Koichi wouldn’t answer, instead he just buried his face into Tatsu’s neck, remaining still. _Uh oh, this isn’t good_. “Kou, I need to get up, do you want any breakfast?” He gently slid out of bed, making sure not to jar Koichi. “Coffee, that’s all.” He turned away from Tatsu and burrowed into the blankets.

            “ _Hi, Sato, can I speak with Taka? Yah, well, no, it’s not okay. Taka? Could you bring Eddy and visit today…?_ ” 

            Tatsu explained what had happened, and if Taka could figure out what the problem was. Sato and Taka agreed to come over later in the day. “Here’s your coffee, um I called Sato just now, he’s bringing Taka and Eddy. I need to run to the studio for a few things.” A muffled sound came from under the blanket. “Well, I’ll just leave your coffee here.” Now Tatsu was worried. _Kou didn’t want to talk to me, why_? Taking his phone with him onto the balcony, he called Shinya _._

 _“Shin, do you know any of the therapists the doctor recommended for the community? Kyo? Well I can see that, please, yes have him call me, thanks Shin._  Of course, Kyo would know. Tatsu peeked into the bedroom, a lumpy bed still in place. Hearing Taka knock and letting himself in, Tatsu closed the bedroom door. “I’m so glad you’re here, he’s totally shut down since this morning. He’s still in bed, I don’t know if he’s awake, Taka please…please help me.” Tatsu looked worn down, tired and scared. Taka took Eddy out of his carrier and went into the bedroom. “Kou, I brought Eddy…where’s Teo?” As if called, Teo popped up from under the blankets and walked over to sniff Eddy. The two kittens bolted off the bed at a dead run.

            “Kou, talk to me…what’s going on?” Taka started to peel away the layers of blankets over Koichi, finally down to just a sheet, Taka pulled it down. “Hey, what’s going on?” Koichi finally turned to look at Taka. “If I asked, do you think I could stay with you and Sato for a while…at least until I get better and find a job _?” Well, that’s not what I expected him to say. “_ Um…well I’m sure Sato wouldn’t care, and you know I wouldn’t either…but why? Why would you leave Tatsu to live with us?” Koichi struggled to sit up. “Because Tatsu doesn’t want me anymore.” _Okay, I have to be careful here_. “Did he tell you that? I find that impossible to believe, Kou. He’s crazy in love with you.” Koichi shook his head. “No, he’s not, he feels sorry for me…he’s only kissed me once in almost a week, he got out of bed after I told him I loved him, he doesn’t want me anymore.”

           “Wow, that’s a weird reaction.” Sato was sitting with Tatsu drinking tea. “I don’t know why…is it me? He’s running so hot and cold, I don’t know what he’s going to say or do, from one minute to the next.” I think it’s time to get a therapist involved. The doctor said they could recommend a few that work with the community.” Tatsu nodded, “I’m waiting for Kyo to call. Shinya was going to talk to him for me. If anyone knows a good therapist, I’m sure Kyo is the one.”

            Taka appeared, with a disappointed look on his face. “Koichi thinks you don’t want him anymore. He asked if he could live with me and Sato until he got better and could go back to work.” Tatsu was shocked. “How…?”  “He said you’ve only kissed him once all week, and that you got out of bed after he told you he loved you. I think he feels rejected…because of the…you know.”

            Sato opened his arms for Taka, who was on the verge of tears. Putting his head in his hands, Tatsu started to cry angry tears. “That mother fucker took my beautiful Kou…FUCK!” He stood up, knocking the chair over and headed towards the bedroom. “TATSU! Wait...” Sato grabbed his arm, “If you go in there like this, you’re going to scare him!” Tatsu turned, “What do I do? Sato, Help me!” Sato led Tatsu back to the couch, “Stay here.”

           Sato knocked on the bedroom door, “Kou, it’s Sato.” Sitting on the side of the bed, Sato just talked. “That first night that Tatsu saw you, at the HBG, he was pretty much out of it for the rest of the night. We had a NicoNico event, and even the fans noticed, everyone did.” Sato saw some movement under the blankets. “He was just so spaced out and that next day at the rehearsal? We pretty much busted him… well, Miya and Yukke did. Miya told him he had a problem, damnit it was funny!” A little more movement. “Ever since that first night at the HBG, the first live, the problems we had with Taka, even then, there has always been a single truth.”

          Koichi had pulled the blankets off. “and now, that single truth is what you have to hang on to, tightly. I’m talking death grip.” Sato looks at Koichi. “Tatsu loves you. He loves you in a way that a lot of people wish they could love. Hell! I’m jealous of the way he loves you. I’m trying to steal his moves all the time.” Koichi sighed, “Why did he leave me after…” Sato blushed, “Well, to put it bluntly…he’s afraid he will break you. Right now, he sees you as a delicate fragile piece of glass, or something like that. He’s afraid he may hurt you, physically and well…mentally. He’s scared Kou, just like you. What happened to you…as your friends, we are all afraid, for you, for Tatsu, for ourselves. This just didn’t happen to you…the whole community is involved, people you don’t know, but they know Tatsu…they know that since he met you, he’s finally happy. The fact that someone did this to you…the adorable Kou…Tatsu’s lover, well the whole community of bands at DCR and other labels, it effected all of us Kou.” Sato leaned over to hug Koichi and kissed him on the top of the head. “We all love you, Kou, because Tatsu loves you…well that and you _are_ adorable.” Koichi tried to hit Sato, but he anticipated it and jumped off the bed.

         The bedroom door opens, Sato is carrying Koichi and deposits him on the couch. “Grab that little turd of a kitten, we need to get home.” Taka grabbed Eddy and ran to kiss Kou on the cheek, “Call me later, okay?” Sato smacked Taka on the ass on the way out the door. Tatsu sat on the couch with Koichi. “I’m sorry, I should have said it better than I did. I got out of bed because I was so tempted to …well make love to you. It’s not the right time for that, physically…you still have a lot of injuries that need to heal, emotionally too. We have forever to do those things. Right now, I just want you to heal. I want my…” Koichi held up his hand “adorable Kou” Tatsu laughed, “well I was going to say love of my life, but adorable Kou works too.” Kneeling next to Koichi, Tatsu kissed him properly. “I love you, Kou” and kissed him properly again. “That’s adorable Kou to you! I love you too, kiss me properly, please.” The proper kissing when on for some time.


	18. Chapter 18

          Tatsu was attempting to cook dinner when there was a loud squack. “Teo! DAMMIT! Koichi, please get him out of the kitchen.” Just as Koichi grabbed the kitten, someone rang the doorbell and knocked at the same time. “What the…” Koichi answered the door and made a weird noise, which caused Tatsu to drop a plate. “KOU!” A very short man with short blonde hair, glasses and a lot of tattoos, moved past Koichi, “Cute kitten” he whispered. Koichi was frozen in his spot.

          “TATSURO!” the man growled. “FUCK, KYO DAMMIT! Why are you here? I just needed you to call me.” Koichi gaped at the small man. _Did he just say Kyo_?  “Well, Shinya told me what you needed and I hate talking on the phone, so I’m here.”  Koichi shut the door and tried to walk quietly, unnoticed to the couch. “Kou, come here babe.” _Crap._ “Koichi, this is Kyo, Kyo my boyfriend, Koichi.” Kyo took his glasses off, and looked Koichi up and down. “Why are you with this asshole?” Kyo thumbed at Tatsu. “You’re way too cute for him.” Koichi giggled, he liked this. “OH, I know now why you fell for this one, Tatsu, that giggle…yup, can totally see why.” Koichi and Tatsu shared their dinner with Kyo, Koichi laughing at the banter between the two men. “Kyo don’t make me bring up that thing at Club Quattro from a few years ago…” Koichi’s eyes got bright. “Okay, you win, I’ll stop.” Kyo put his hands up.

          They sat at the table with a bit of awkward silence. “So, what do you need to know, Tatsu?” Kyo was suddenly serious. “Well, you understand all the recent…events, yes?” Kyo nodded and turned to Koichi. “I’m sorry you had to go through that Koichi, I truly am. Like the rest of the band, we’re here for you if you need us.” Koichi whispered a tiny, “thank you.”  “Shinya said that you knew of some of the therapists that have ties to the community, and who would be a good fit for us…if we need one.” Kyo took out his phone, “give me a second.”  

          Kyo started paging through his contacts. “Um…let me see…” Looking at Koichi. “Yep, this one. Dr. Yuya Maeta… It’s unfortunate that I know this, but he has treated people in the community for this exact issue.” Koichi made a soft noise. “You mean, other musicians?” Kyo looked at Koichi, “Yes…much like normal society, things like this happen even in our little world.” Writing the number on a card, Kyo handed it to Tatsu.

         “I like Maeta, he used to be a drummer, back in the early VK days, 1980s or something, he’s a good doc.”  The three chatted a bit longer, but Kyo had practice early the next day. “I’m glad I finally got to meet you, Koichi, Shin talks about you a lot.” Koichi blushed. “And if you ever get tired of this asshole…you know how to reach me.” Turning to Tatsu, “Anything you need, anything, just call one of us, we’ve got your back on this.” Kyo left, leaving a huge impression on Koichi, “Is he always …” Looking at Tatsu, “Abrasive, Sarcastic?” Tatsu laughed. “No, sweet, I can tell he really cares about you.” “Sweet? KYO?” Tatsu snorted and laughed. “Don’t ever tell him that, he may punch you for it.” But Koichi knew better.

         “Do you want to talk to a therapist, Kou? I’m not going to force you…and I may do it on my own, but I think it’s a good idea.” Koichi and Tatsu were lying in bed talking. Kyo had recommended a specific therapist who had worked with musicians who had been sexually assaulted, telling the couple he thought that the doctor would be a good match for them. “Can he come here…to the flat? Or maybe when I go see the doctor at the hospital?” Koichi was still nervous about leaving the safety of their home. “I’ll call his office tomorrow, and find out. I’m sure that it can be arranged.” Koichi made a contented noise, snuggling into Tatsu’s arms, feeling safe and loved. “Mm…warm Tatsu…”

 

       “Today at 4pm? That would be fine, yes. Thank you.” Tatsu hung up the phone. “Okay, Dr. Maeta will be here at 4, want some lunch?” The couple had spent a lazy morning in bed, coffee and a spastic kitten that seemed bent on bunny kicking anything he could. Tatsu had helped Koichi wash his hair, but Kou decided to bathe himself. Tatsu futzed around the flat, cleaning, doing laundry and a continuous repetition of dumping Teo into Koichi’s lap. “Damn you, Shinya," was the kitten mantra of the day. After a quiet lunch, Koichi dozed off on the couch, Tatsu went out to the balcony and called Detective Fujioka. “Hello, Detective, just wanted to check in with you. Oh? Possible? But not confirmed. Well I guess that’s better than nothing. Koichi is doing as well as can be expected, yes. Thanks.”

 _Possible leads? Unconfirmed? In other words, nothing._ Tatsu was frustrated, it was going on two weeks and not even a suspect. Checking the time, he knew he had to get Kou up soon, to speak with Dr. Maeta. “Fuck, I hope this is the right way to help.”

         Koichi was in his usual spot on the couch when Dr. Maeta arrived. Tatsu was surprised at the doctor’s appearance; long hair tied back neatly, a gauged ear on one side and tattoos showing under his cuffed black shirt. He could have passed as a member of a current band, which for some reason made Tatsu very comfortable.

        “Hello, Tatsuro-san, Koichi-san.” Koichi raised an eyebrow. “Doctor?” Dr. Maeta sat down across from Kou and Tatsuro. “Yes, Doctor, but I get that a lot when meeting patients for the first time, especially when dealing with people in the industry.” Reaching for some papers in his bag, Dr. Maeta read them over quickly before looking over at his patient. “Koichi, first some guidelines; I will never force you to answer anything you’re not comfortable with. I would like your permission at times to speak to you and Tatsuro individually, but I will give you advanced notice. I have agreed, for the time being to meet you here at home. Nothing that is said in his room will ever be exposed, I am 100% confidential. Do you have any questions?” Koichi looked at Tatsu, “I don’t, do you?” Tatsu also said no. “Today might be difficult, as I need to ask some harsh questions.” Pulling out a pad and a pen, Dr. Maeta was ready.

        “I will see you next week Koichi, you have my card, Tatsuro also has my number.”  Tatsu was relieved when Dr. Maeta left. He had been right, today had been difficult. “Tea, Kou? I know I need some.” Koichi had Teo on his lap, the kitten sensing that something was wrong. “Yes please, the spice tea for me.”  The doctor had talked to Koichi on what he may experience through therapy and part of this day’s session had been talking about Koichi’s injuries, in front of Tatsu. The couple had never spoken much about the individual injuries, just as a whole. Breaking them down, had been doubly painful. Koichi hearing them, some of which there had no mention of, but enlightened Koichi to the reason Tatsu was keeping him at arm’s length in terms of their physical relationship. For Tatsu, at every specific injury, guilt piled on, that he was unable to protect Koichi. Dr. Maeta suggested for Tatsu to open up to Koichi, they should not hide feelings. While neither Koichi nor Tatsu felt any better after the first session, it was a start. That night, Koichi was more aware of what his need for physical contact was doing to Tatsu, and was satisfied with a more, subtle hold on his lover as they fell asleep.

 

        “Shinya is meeting us at the hospital, he has to stop at the studio first.” Koichi had an appointment with the doctor and he had asked Shinya to be there as well. Koichi and Shinya had become especially close after his attack, with Shinya coming to visit frequently. On Shinya’s part, Koichi held a little brother feel, that compelled a protective emotion in Shinya. Tatsu got Koichi to the car, which was difficult. This was the first time Koichi had been outside the flat in three weeks, but was a huge step forward in his healing process.

        Tatsu was pleased with the results of the doctor’s appointment. “Three more weeks Kou, then no more cast.”  Tatsu was trying to be upbeat, Koichi on the other hand, was sulking. “It doesn’t hurt anymore, so why do I have to go three more weeks? I want to shower, not get sponge baths.” Tatsu tried to humor Kou, “What? You don’t want me to bathe you anymore?” Koichi stuck out his tongue.

        Koichi was moody and grumpy for the rest of the day. “Kou, what can I do for you…right now? Food? Ice cream…what?” Koichi knew he was being a brat but he was frustrated…his injuries, the lack of anything being done on the investigation, and especially the physical part of his relationship with Tatsu. “Kiss me.” Tatsu moved to sit next to Koichi, cupped his face and kissed him deeply. Koichi started to wiggle, tugging Tatsu’s arms, refusing to break the kiss. After several moments, Tatsu broke the kiss, needed to breath.

       “Want to move to the bedroom?” Tatsu was taking a chance. “Mmm…yes” Tatsu scooped Koichi up, kissing him on the way, laying him gently on the bed, the intense kissing continued. “Kou…god I want you so badly, but remember the doctor said not yet, Dr. Maeta said we shouldn’t go that far yet either. What do you want me to do?” Koichi moaned softly, “Please…touch me! I just need you to touch me again.” Tatsu slid his hand under Koichi’s shirt, rubbing the little nubs. “I love you, Kou.” Tatsu licked a nipple, taking it into his mouth, giving tiny bites. The reaction he got from Kou was beautiful. Moving to Koichi’s neck, licking his jaw line, sliding down to gently bite his collarbone, Tatsu wanted to go further, but how much further?

       Koichi made that decision for Tatsu, grabbing his hand and moving it to his growing length. “Gods, Kou, are you sure?” moaned Tatsu. “Please… touch me!” Rubbing Koichi’s cloth covered crotch, Tatsu started to lick his way down Koichi’s body, sucking and gently biting his skin. Reaching his lover’s hips, he nuzzled Koichi’s navel, sliding his hands into Koichi’s sleep pants, he lovingly grasped Koichi’s cock. Sitting up, Tatsu removed Kou’s pants, sliding them off gently. Tatsu’s breath caught and he moaned. “You’re so fucking beautiful, the most beautiful thing in the world to me.” Dipping his head, Tatsu licked the pre-cum from the tip of his lover’s cock, “Please, I don’t care what you do, I don’t care how, just make me cum!” Koichi was begging his lover for release. Tatsu stood up and stripped, revealing his own hardness. “If I do this, and anything hurts, you have to tell me, promise?” Koichi nodded, begging again, “Please…” Tatsu got the lube from the bed table, drizzling it over Koichi’s hips, then on to his cock.

             Carefully setting between Koichi’s thighs, Tatsu started to grind his hips against Kou’s, the friction eliciting moans from both. “Fuck…this feels…” Kissing Koichi, moaning in his mouth, Tatsu began to move, sliding his hips over Koichi’s, it was almost as good as fucking. Both men needed the physical contact to re-connect, and for release. “Ta…su…mmmclose…kiss me.” Tatsu started kissing Koichi senseless, increasing the friction of their hips gliding together, the buildup almost reaching the edge. “Kou…shit…I’m” At that moment, both men released their loads, shuddering in climax, coating their abdomens in white. Tatsu lay on top of Kou for a moment, then seeing him winch from pain, he rolled to the side, pulling his boy into his arms. “mm...warm Tatsu.” Tatsu kissed his boy, “let’s get cleaned up.” Retrieving a wet cloth, Tatsu gently cleaned his lover. Koichi stopped Tatsu’s hand, “Thank you for not treating me like I was made of glass, that was amazing.”  

            Kissing Koichi’s forehead, “It’s difficult for me not to treat you like that,” Tatsu tried to explain, “To me, you’re more precious than my own life. I feel like I failed you, that I couldn’t protect you.” Holding his hand up, “Dr. Maeta said for us to share our feelings. I will forever harbor some guilt, I know it’s stupid, but it’s there.” Tatsu bent down and kissed Koichi’s nose. “I refuse to let this come between us. I will never let anything bad happen to you again. I love you so much, it’s hard for me to explain it.”  Koichi giggled, “Seems to me you’re doing a good job right now.” Tatsu tried to pout, failing epically.

          “You’re lucky your hurt, because I would tickle the shit out of you right now.” Instead of tickling Kou, Tatsu gave him another blistering kiss. “Well that was better than a tickle.” Koichi looked at Tatsu, “I love you. I know you’ll keep me safe, I know you’ll love me forever and please, try not to feel guilty. What happened…it wasn’t anyone’s fault, I know it wasn’t mine, or yours…whoever this guy is, it’s his fault, he’s the guilty one. I just hope they catch him before anyone else gets hurt.” The couple snuggled in bed, with Teo joining them, mostly to annoy Tatsu, it had been a good day overall, with Koichi hopeful about their future.

          “I’m glad to hear that, very glad.” Dr. Maeta was wrapping up their third session, and pleased that there had, so far, been no negative emotions during Kou and Tatsu’s modified intimate moments. “But, you are not cleared yet to resume your full intimacy, correct?” Koichi was blushing, embarrassed at the questions. “The doctor said eight weeks, it’s been six.” Tatsu was answering most of the questions. “I assume the healing process is going well? No pain?” Koichi looked up, “My ribs are a little tender, but mostly everything is better.” The doctor discussed a few more issues, then left. “That went well, right?” Koichi had flopped back into the couch. “It’s just embarrassing talking about our sex life!” Tatsu bent over the back of the couch, turning Koichi’s face up for a kiss. “I’m pretty sure Dr. Maeta has heard it all. Our sex life is pretty vanilla right now.” Tatsu turned and went back to preparing dinner. Koichi wasn’t happy with the vanilla sex, but Tatsu had refused to ramp it up beyond the different ways they were using to get each other off. For Koichi, the next two weeks would feel like an eternity.


	19. Chapter 19

Sneaking up on Tatsu, Koichi hugged his lover, dripping water on him. “Hey, how was your shower?” Koichi reached for his towel, to finish drying his hair. “Heavenly…you never know how much miss simple things, until you can’t do them.” Tatsu was sure Kou’s statement had more than one meaning. “What are you working on?” “Just a set list for that live next week.” Mucc was doing a one time live, just for the fan club.

As the two lovers were looking at the songs, Koichi’s phone buzzed _, “Hi Shinya…OH! I got my cast removed today. Yep, that was the first thing I did. About twenty minutes, I doubt we have any hot water left. Oh! Great, yep, see you soon, bye._  

“Shinya is coming over, he wants to talk about a secret plan.” Tatsu groaned, “Again? Damn him!” Koichi smacked Tatsu on the back of the head. “Well that was rude, you don’t even know what the plan is! It might be fabulous!” Tatsu looked at Koichi, “I’ve known Shin for a long time, his special plans usually fail, so I’m not going to say anything else.” Koichi walked away, turning and sticking his tongue out at Tatsu.

Shinya and Koichi were sitting in the bedroom, “So, what’s the special plan?” Koichi was hoping for something exciting. Shinya leaned in, trying to be as quiet as possible. “I think the four boyfriends should surprise our guys, and show up at the live!” Koichi’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Depending on where, is how extreme we can get with the surprise, I just wish I knew what venue it was at!” Koichi leaned in to whisper in Shinya’s ear, “Tatsu just had that on his laptop, maybe I can write it down? I’m not sure I could just ask him…” “Kou-kun that would be amazing! Once I get home, call or text me if you can get the venue, I can deal with everything after that.”

Going back into the living room, Shinya made some excuse about having to leave so quickly. “Well? Special plans?” Tatsu didn’t trust Shinya and his special plans. “I can’t tell you…it wouldn’t be special if I did.” Leaving the room, Koichi went onto the balcony and called Taka, making plans to meet up the next day. “Tatsu?” He was working on his laptop. “Mmm?” “If Taka comes over tomorrow, would it be okay if I went to the bookstore with him? Pleasse.”

This got Tatsu’s undivided attention. “Do you think you’re ready for this, Kou?” Koichi sat in Tatsu’s lap, a sure method to get him to agree with requests. “I need to start getting back to a normal life. A book store, with Taka and in a crowd, I would think I would be safe.” As much as Tatsu wanted to keep Koichi home and safe, he had to let go, let Kou get back to a normal way of living. “I do have to go into the studio for a while, I could drop you off, and pick you up later.” Koichi giggled, “Okay Otosan.” Tatsu’s brow furrowed, “Otosan? Is that how you see me?” Tatsu grabbed Koichi’s face and forced a blistering kiss that lasted for several minutes. “Um…no…I um,” Koichi leaned in for another kiss, this one, left him feeling light headed. “Uh, Tatsu?”

Scooping Koichi up, Tatsu carried him into the bedroom, laying him on the bed, straddling Koichi’s hips. “If I was otousan, would I do this to you?” Tatsu started to move, grinding into Koichi’s crotch. “Would I be able to do this?” Sliding his hands into Koichi’s pajama pants, Tatsu pulled them off in one swift movement, throwing them on the floor. Koichi’s eyes were closed, enjoying the feel of this lover’s hands caressing his body. Laying between Koichi’s thighs, Tatsu licked his boy’s hardening length, base to tip, running his tongue all over the rim of the head. “Mmm…Tatsu…” Koichi was squirming, trying to get his cock deeper into Tatsu’s mouth.  Holding the base, Tatsu dipped his mouth, sucking slightly, teasing the tip. Koichi’s hips started involuntarily jerking, “Oh…soo, soo, please…now!” Koichi was so close, with Tatsu softly biting, swirling his tongue, sucking, it was driving Koichi to the edge. “Please…now, I’m…” with a last few jerks of Koichi’s cock, Tatsu sent his lover over the edge. “Umm…nnngghh...iku…” Arching his back, Koichi came hard, Tatsu taking it all, loving the mix of sweet and salty taste of his boy.

Once Koichi had regained his composure, he looked to his lover, “What about you? I can finish you too.” Tatsu leaned down and kissed Koichi, “Well, let’s save that for later tonight.” “So, does this mean I can go with Taka, tomorrow?”  With a regretful sigh, Tatsu agreed. “You have to let me know what’s going on. If I had my way, I’d keep you on the phone the entire time. But…I know you need this.” Koichi kissed Tatsu and they curled up for a nap _. I don’t want this! How can I protect him! Fuck!_

“I’ll text you when we’re done with rehearsal. Taka!! Do NOT let Koichi out of your sight!” As the two watched Tatsu pull away, both started laughing, “Shit, is he for real? What, are you ten?” Actually, it made Koichi happy to know Tatsu cared about him enough to be this worried. “Can we go inside please?” Taka looked at Koichi; he looked uneasy. “Sure, let’s get inside.” Although some people stared, Koichi had a strong grip on Taka’s hand. Taka didn’t mind, he loved Sato, but holding hands with Koichi was just a bonus part of his day.

“Let’s get coffee first, then I can tell you about Shinya’s plan.” Getting their coffee, they found a table against a wall. “So, spill, what’s the plan?” “Shinya needs a copy of the tour schedule, so if you find one at home, take a picture of it and send it to him.”

“Okay, why?” Taka’s interest was growing. “Shinya wants the boyfriends to surprise the guys at the live for the fan club.  We’re going to the venue, and hide until the intermission, then we’ll move up to the front, and when the lights go up, surprise! Shinya needs to know what venue it’s at, so he can call and pull some strings and get passes.” Taka started to laugh as he sat back in his chair. “Shit, Tatsu is going to flip out when he sees you in the crowd.” Koichi blushed, “Hopefully it will be a good flip out, hope it doesn’t make him angry.”

Finishing their coffee, they roamed around the bookstore, just hanging out. The best friends hadn’t done this in a long time, and it was nice to be doing something so normal for a change. Checking out the latest manga, Taka and Koichi were separated by a low wall. “Anything good, Taka?” Koichi is looking for a new series to start. “Taka?” Koichi looks over the low wall, to find his friend staring at something. “Taka, what’s wrong?” Taka is looking up the aisle at the back of a person, a man, wearing a black leather jacket. “Kou…is it…” Taka has gone pale, beads of nervous sweat forming on his forehead. “Let’s go Taka…I’ll text Tatsu.” Koichi turns to walk away, but Taka is still standing in the same spot. “I have to see him Kou, maybe he’s the one I saw at the train station.” Koichi grabs Taka’s arm, “NO, come on, let’s just go Taka!”

Pulling away from Koichi, Taka moves over an aisle, going around the man, Koichi is clinging to Taka’s arm. Together they walk cautiously around the aisle, going around so that they can face the person in the black jacket. “Taka…no, let’s just go!” Taka turns the corner, not even sure what he will do if it’s…, Suddenly Koichi hears Taka laugh. Peeking around the corner, Koichi see’s Taka talking to an Ojisan, Koichi lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Kou, come here, Ojisan likes Sailor Moon.” Koichi bowed to the older man, they said their goodbyes and walked to the front of the store. “Can we go home please? I’m texting Tatsu, this wore me out.” Sitting on a bench in front of the store, they wait for Tatsu.

Sitting in a café across the street from the book store, a man in a black leather jacket, watches two young men, sitting on a bench in front of the bookstore. The man is speaking under his breath, people are moving away from him. A café employee walks up to ask the man to be quiet. The man turns and glares at the employee, causing him to step back. Looking out the window, the two young men are gone. The man in the black leather jacket also leaves, much to the relief of the café employees and customers.

The live for the fan club would be at Club Quattro, a favorite venue of Mucc. It was close to home and playing the  show at a home venue, also made things much easier for Shinya’s special plans. The four boyfriends met at Shinya’s flat to set things into motion. Kai and Shinya had done this sort of thing before, so the meeting was to clue in Taka and Koichi.

“I’ll take us to the venue, the box office and the doormen know who we are. Taka you’ll go in with Kai, Kou-kun, you’re with me." Shinya was giddy over the surprise. “Once we get in, we’ll hang out in the manager’s office, the guys won’t see us, but, we can see the stage.” The boyfriends had all set up their respective flats with decorations of the welcome home type, except for Taka. He had bought some new velvet rope and some special lube. He was hoping to be punished later that night, for being in on the special plan.  Koichi had an equally special gift for Tatsu.

“Once it’s time for the intermission, we’ll go out on the floor. Kai and Taka will stand in front of Yukke, Kou and I in front of Tatsu and Miya.” Shinya’s eyes were shiny with excitement. “Shin, you’re just way too into this.” Giggled Kai. “You act like you’ve been with Miya for six months, not close to six years”

“Just because we’ve been together for ever, doesn’t mean I want to be boring, Kai-kun. Miya still likes a sexy surprise once in a while.” Taka and Koichi blushed, and giggled. “What are you two laughing about? There’s no age limit for a good fuck you know.” There were three loud gasps, then all four of the boyfriends fell over laughing.

“What do you think of me wearing that outfit you picked for me?” Koichi wanted to make Taka comfortable in not ignoring the past. “You did say I was hot in it, right?” Taka flushed red. “It’s okay Taka, that was forever ago, we’ve gotten past all that, right?” Taka got up from the chair and hugged his best friend. “I still love you, Kou…just not like before. I’m sorry I was such an asshole. But now I have Sato and he keeps me in line…most of the time.” They had just finished getting ready when Shinya texted them that he was downstairs in the car.

The arrived at the club, and everything went as planned. Upstairs, overlooking the stage, Koichi’s breath caught, when he saw Tatsu. He had not seen Tatsu perform since the last time Mucc had played this venue, when the Taka problems had started. Kai nudged Shinya, “They’re so cute! Little fanboys.” Whispered Kai. “It’s still pretty new for them, shit we were exactly like that. We fanboyed over guys in another band. I remember seeing you drool all over Yukke, you were pretty cute too.” Kai smacked Shinya in the shoulder. “Sshh! Nobody needs to know about that.” They watched their lovers perform perfectly, with passion in their hearts.

“Okay, let’s go!” The four boyfriends were led down stairs by a bouncer, to the front of the stage. “Turn around when they first come out, wait until they start the first song.” The lights went down and the four men turned away from the stage. Yukke started the bass riff for Daikuri, the crowd started to furisuke. The lights went back up as Tatsu started his prowl, pointing at people. The four boyfriends looked at Shinya, who then nodded. They turned around at the same time.

 Miya was the first to see Shinya, he stopped playing, Sato was next, Tatsu looking at both of his band mates. Yukke stopped, the crowd was wondering what was happening. Tatsu finally saw Koichi, wearing that same outfit. Just as suddenly as they stopped playing, they started up again, all of them laughing and smiling. Miya gives Shinya a smile and a wink, Sato waved and Yukke blew a kiss. The crowd resumes furi and Tatsu was nailed to the floor. Staring at Koichi, like he was the only person in the room. Miya finally walks over and kicks Tatsu in the ass, causing Koichi to laugh. Regaining his composure, Mucc continued with the last half of the show, with a renewed energy. With two encores, the band throwing picks, sticks and swag to the crowd, the last live is over. The boyfriends had left the crowd for the backstage area, and were waiting in the dressing rooms for their men.

The band literally ran off the stage in search of their lovers, and finding them in the dressing rooms, there was a loud reunion. “So, this was Shin’s surprise?” Yelled Tatsu, “At least this time it worked.” Miya grabbed Shinya, dipping him into a long low kiss. This was not the only kissing going on, everyone else was in varying states of kissing. “Pet, wait till we get home.” Whispered Sato in Taka’s ear. “Um, I have a surprise for you…at home,” Taka purred. Kai and Yukke were sitting closely, whispering in each other’s ear. Tatsu grabbed Koichi and swung him around. “Fuck Kou, I had some serious déjà vu when I saw you in the crowd, I mean major flash back.” Koichi just buried his face into Tatsu’s neck, breathing in his lover’s scent, the scent that had become his safety net. When Tatsu held him, he felt like nothing could go wrong, nobody could hurt him, he was safe. “Kou?” Tatsu pushed Koichi away, so he could see his lovers face, only to find tears. “Are you okay?” whispered Tatsu, as he drew Koichi back in. “Can we go home…please?”

 Tatsu and Koichi took a taxi home. They sat quietly, holding hands, just feeling connected again. Walking into the flat, Teo came crashing into the genkan. “Hello monster. Tatsu had noticed how quiet Kou was being and it alarmed him.  Koichi had sat on the couch, then patted the seat next to him. “Um…I need to tell you something.” Tatsu sat next to Kou, worried. “Are you sick baby?” Koichi shook his head. “No, it’s not that…but I feel I have to tell you this, it’s important.” Koichi looked at his hands folded in his lap. “Kou, you’re scaring me…what’s wrong?”  Koichi looked into Tatsu’s face. “Do you love me, Tatsu?” Tears were forming in Koichi’s eyes. “Of course I love you, Gods, I love you with every cell in my body! What’s wrong?” Koichi got up, grabbed Tatsu’s hand and led him to the bedroom. Stripping down, Koichi stood before Tatsu, then walked to the bathroom. Turning and looking at Tatsu, “Please…” Koichi turned on the water and got into the shower. Tatsu was so confused. _What the hell is he doing?_

Tatsu stripped and joined Koichi in the shower. “Kou?” Koichi started to wash Tatsu’s body, watching as Tatsu became more aroused. “Mm…Kou, what…uh” groaned Tatsu. Koichi washed himself, making sure every pore was clean. Turning off the water, Koichi stepped out, wrapping them both in a towel. “Kou…please. What are you doing?” Koichi led Tatsu to the bed, laying down first, reaching out his arms to Tatsu. “Do you love me, Tatsu?” Kou repeated. “If you do, please…make love to me.” Tatsu hesitated. “Kou, you know what the doctor said.” Koichi shook his head. “I was cleared by both doctors, you can make love to me…please.” The look on Tatsu’s face was priceless. “Cleared? Really? Oh Kou! Are you sure you’re…” Koichi didn’t want to talk anymore, he just wanted to feel Tatsu inside him again. Pulling Tatsu down, Koichi poured the renewal of his love for Tatsu into that first kiss. Tatsu moaned into Koichi’s mouth, running his hands over his lover’s small pale body. “You’ve never been more beautiful than you are right now, Kou”

Tatsu buried his face into Koichi’s neck, nuzzling, smelling and feeling his boy again. They moved slowly, this was to be long and languid love making. Tatsu took his time prepping Koichi, still worried about the injuries Koichi had suffered. Licking, sucking, stretching, Tatsu gave Kou everything. “Please…Tatsu, don’t make me wait, I need you now” moan Kou. Tatsu carefully moved Koichi’s hips into his lap. Applying an overly generous amount of lube to them both, Tatsu poised the head of his cock at Kou’s hole. “Kou, you must, I demand that you tell me if this hurts! Don’t lie to me, please, I want this as much as you do, don’t lie to me!” Koichi nodded, and Tatsu started to enter Koichi.

“Oh…fuck, Tatsu…mmm” Koichi had his head thrown back, beautiful sounds escaping. “Fuck! Kou…baby” Tatsu was moving slowly, carefully. Koichi arched his back slightly, pulling at Tatsu’s arms, trying to get his lover’s full length inside him. “Uh...ungh…yesss” Koichi purred, whispering Tatsu’s name over and over. Tatsu carefully increased his speed, still worried about breaking Kou. “Touch me…please” Tatsu ran his fingers around Koichi’s straining cock, knowing that neither of them would last long, neither caring. “Kou...soo close…” With a final few thrusts, Tatsu’s orgasm show through his body, emptying into his lover’s body. “Harder…plea...yess!” Tatsu jerked Koichi off to orgasm, Koichi’s cum, flowing over his hand.

Panting, Tatsu reached for one of the damp towels, and cleaned them both. Lying next to Koichi, his lovers lithe lean body, draped partially over his own, Tatsu kissed Koichi’s head. “Why? Why did you choose to tell me like this? Why not just tell me?” Koichi lay still for several moments. “I wanted it to be pure” whispered Koichi, “I wanted it to be about our love, not about anything else. Are you upset with me?” Closing his eyes and shaking his head, Tatsu sighed. “No, of course not, I love you. But now I get it…I really do, and yes, it was pure and it was all about our love.” Koichi snuggled into Tatsu as close as he could get. Turning out the light and pulling up the blanket, Tatsu held his boy close. “I love you, Kou.” Tatsu whispered. “Mm…warm Tatsu…” was followed by soft snoring, and the purring of a tiny kitten, asleep on the pillow between their heads. Tatsu breathed in Koichi’s hair, “We’re pretty damn lucky, right Teo?” The kitten didn’t answer.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super short, was having a bad week when I wrote it.

How did your surprise go over with Sato?” Koichi didn’t know about the bondage play between Taka and Sato. “Mm…yah it was amazing.” Taka’s arms were a little sore, and he had quite a few love bites. “I bet you two had fun as well.” Koichi blushed, thankfully Taka couldn’t see that over the phone. “Yah, it was pretty special.” During their chat, the topic of the HBG came up. “Are you going back to work? I’m sure Sato doesn’t want you to.” Koichi knew Tatsu would forbid it. “Not yet, maybe someday, just for fun. I really should call Aki and Uta. I really started to like them both, especially when they would fanboy over Tatsu and Sato.” Laughing about the HBG, felt good. Koichi missed working with Taka and the others. “Maybe we could get the guys to take us there one night, just to visit Aki and Uta.” Suggested Taka. “I’m not sure I’m ready yet, but someday I hope.” Koichi had mixed feelings on the subject.

The members of Mucc and their lovers fell into a nice daily routine, spending lazy days at home, and visiting with their friends. Going out to eat at their favorite restaurant was proving to be very entertaining, depending on who was there. One particular night, Koichi gained some new insight into band member dynamics. As Tatsu and Koichi approached the door to the restaurant, the door slammed opened and a small blonde man ran out, laughing. “What the hell?” Koichi barley missed getting hit. “Wait for it…” Tatsu held Koichi away from the door. Ten seconds later, Reita runs out, stopping in front of Tatsu. “Where is that little shit?” Tatsu pointed and Reita ran off screaming, “RUKI YOU FUCKER RUKI!” Peering in the door, Tatsu barely had time to pull back, when three other men ran out, “Where…?” Tatsu pointed to where Reita had run. “Uh…what was that all about?” Tatsu shrugged. “Ruki probably did something to one of them…usually they all go after him.” Koichi’s eyes grew wide, “Ruki?...as in Gazette Ruki? Then the others?” Tatsu nodded, “Aoi, Reita and Uru and Kai. I told you, weird shit happens a lot at this place.”

Later that evening, Tatsu had found out, via Yukke, that Ruki had skipped out, not paying for his portion of a rather expensive meal. “They wouldn’t really hurt him, would they?” wondered Koichi. “No, not really, maybe throw him in a pool, cut up a favorite pair of pants, nothing too serious.” Tatsu assured Koichi that the members of Mucc usually, or rarely did anything like that, at least not anymore.

 

_“Shit! Um…okay, He’s okay? Not hurt? What about Uta? Good. Did they call Fujioka? Closed down? Smart thing to do. How’s Taka? Hmm. No, he’s in the shower. I will, thanks Sato.”_

“Have a good shower?” Koichi had just walked in from the bedroom. “Mm…yep.”  Sitting on the couch next to Tatsu, leaning in for a kiss, “Um…shit.” Koichi looked at his boyfriend. “What’s up? Do I have bad breath or something?” He breathed into his hand. “What? Oh, no, of course not.” Tatsu turned to face Koichi. “Sato called while you were in the shower.” He hesitated. “Someone tried to attack Aki last night at the HBG, but he ran into a konbini before the guy could grab him. The HBG is closed indefinitely, the owner called Sato, and he also called Detective Fujioka.” Koichi paled, shaking slightly. “Do they think it’s the same guy? I never saw who…hurt me.” he whispered. “Aki said the guy was a little older, long black hair, black leather jacket.” Tatsu’s face was grim. “But Aki is okay? What about Uta?” Tatsu shook his head. “Aki is okay, he’s not hurt, Uta wasn’t there.” Koichi sat in silence, trying to process the news. “I need to call Aki.” Koichi got up to get his phone, Tatsu bending over, his head in his hands.

_“Aki, it’s Koichi. Are you okay? Yah, I just heard. Sato found out from the boss, he called Tatsu. Are you sure you’re okay? Yah, I know, it’s scary shit. Okay, call me if you need okay? Bye.”_

“Hold me please.” Koichi was in sleep pants and one of Tatsu’s t shirts, leaning into his lover. “This is getting serious, isn’t it? I mean, how do you look for someone with that vague of a description?” Tatsu had no answer. That evening’s news was headlined with the attempted attack on Aki, with a speculation that the attack and rape of another HBG employee, were connected. Tatsu picked up the remote to turn off the TV, when Koichi stopped him. “It’s okay.” The report went on to a description of the alleged suspect and to let the police know to be aware. The report ended with the closing of the HBG, indefinitely. “Are you okay, Kou?” Tatsu kissed the top of Koichi’s head. “Yes, I’m okay.” He leaned in, wanting to be as close as he could. “I guess this means no more HBG, that’s sad. Where is Miya going to drink? Aki and Uta are out of a job now.” Koichi just kept muttering random things, almost in a whisper, with Tatsu making little hums. “Let’s go to bed, Kou.” Tatsu led Koichi to the bedroom, Teo following. Laying in Tatsu’s arms, Koichi felt safe, it was everywhere else that scared him.

 


	21. Chapter 21

The next few weeks passed with no other incidents regarding the man in the black leather jacket. Halloween was a week away and Mucc was gearing up for a Halloween live, at Club G. Koichi and Taka were trying to decide on costumes, since all the boyfriends were going. Shinya had opted to wear a Victorian dress with a mask covering his eyes, Kai was going as Zorro. The face covering costumes gave the two band members, an opportunity to go to the shows and not be noticed for who they really were. Taka had opted for a weird corpse paint and white dress thing, not really all that scary. Koichi was going all out this time, full Visual Kei. Tatsu and the others left for the venue early, giving Koichi plenty of time to pull his costume together. Koichi had secretly asked Kai for some help with his makeup, and his hair. “Holy shit, Kou, Tatsu is going to fuck you right there on the stage! This look is perfect!” Koichi blushed from head to toe for almost an hour after Kai’s comment.

The Halloween live featured Umbrella and Girugamesh, with Mucc headlining. Shinya said he would pick up the others and drive to the club, since traveling by train would be a hassle. They arrived mid-set for Girugamesh, the crowd, a dazzling spectacle of color. When Shinya had stopped to pick up Koichi, all three men had their mouths hanging open. “Uh, Fuck Kou-kun, you look absolutely delicious! If I was single Kou…” Shinya left it at that.

Walking through the crowd, Koichi was drawing a bit of attention, which made him nervous. Plenty of people thought Koichi was in a band, men and women were fairly drooling over Kou. He knew this was going to be another night of epic sex after the show, probably for all of them.

The lights went down and Mucc hit the stage. The band had all gone with a zombie theme, having bulky costumes would have been too hot. The four boyfriends stood towards the front, all but Tatsu knew what their lovers would be wearing. Starting the show, Tatsu tried to search for Koichi, actually passing him over the first two minutes. Yukke and Miya were shocked when they saw Koichi, both grinning, knowing what Tatsu was in for later that night. Once Tatsu found Koichi, he stopped, not believing what he saw. Miya came by and kicked him in the ass, breaking the penetrating stare he was giving Koichi. _Oh, My God! Fuck baby Fuck, You’re so beautiful._ Was all he could think. As the show progressed, Tatsu threw looks, winks and all sorts of little gestures he knew Koichi would understand. Making monster hands for Teo, shaking out his hair, for when they would shower together. After the first set, Koichi and Taka headed for the bar, wading through a sea of weirdness. “Kou, what was with all that weird shit Tatsu was doing, was it like Koichi sign language?” Taking a deep pull from his beer, Koichi almost spit it out laughing. “Haha! Yah! Sort of, he’s such a dork sometimes.”  Moving back into the main room, Koichi and Taka stood together, waiting for Mucc. Just as the lights went down, Koichi felt something, a breeze or a breath on his neck. Turning quickly, he didn’t see anything obvious. Taka was looking at the stage, and he had no reaction to what Koichi experienced.

Going through the set list, Tatsu screamed “Happy Halloween” the next song was eagerly awaited Daikurai. Yukke started the bass riff and the furi began. Tatsu, on his usual prowl, making faces at the crowd, thumbs up or down for the costumes. Koichi was dancing a little, having fun watching his lover.

                                    I will hurt you, and everyone you love.

 

Koichi froze, the breath on the back of his neck. _Oh God NO!_ He turned quickly and saw a black leather jacket fold into the crowd.

“TATSU!!!”  Taka turns to see Koichi screaming, panicking, Koichi is screaming for Tatsu. “OH MY GOD NO! TATSU!!! IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE!! NONONO TAKA!! TATSU!!”

Koichi is screaming hysterically, clawing his way to the stage. Tatsu sees him, Miya stops playing, everyone is trying to figure out what was going on. Taka has Koichi by the arm, both pushing to the front. The music has stopped. Miya has put down his guitar, Tatsu is laying on the stage, trying to reach Koichi, screaming at people to move.

“NOGODPLEASENONONOGOD TATSU!!”

            Taka gets Koichi to the front and over the barrier, a bouncer helping Taka jump the fence. Tatsu grabs Koichi and picks him up, leaving the stage with Miya and Taka. The announcer calls for calm, just a sick fan, nothing to worry about. Tatsu rushes Koichi to the dressing room, putting him on the couch.

            “WE HAVE TO FINISH STAY HERE!

            Taka has his arms around Koichi, rocking him, trying to get him to calm down, but all Koichi can do is scream, crying, calling for Tatsu. Within 15 minutes, the band rushes back to the dressing room.

            “Kou, baby, look at me! KOICHI!” Tatsu can’t get Koichi to focus. “What happened?” he asks Taka.

            “I don’t know, he just started screaming, and trying to get to the stage.”

            Koichi is still crying hysterically, curled up in Taka’s arms.

            “I’m taking him to the hospital.” Tatsu scoops Koichi into his arms. 

            “NONO TAKE ME HOME PLEASE!! I WANT TO GO HOME, TATSU PLEASE!! NO HOSPITAL!!

            Koichi is crying, he isn’t looking at anyone. His face buried in Tatsu’s neck. “Okay, baby, I’ll take you home.”

            “TAKA! NO! YOU CAN’T STAY HERE YOU HAVE TO COME HOME TAKA YOU’RE NOT SAFE, HE’S HERE TAKA!!”

            “He’s here? Kou, what do you mean, who’s here?”

            “THE MAN! THE JACKET, HE’S HERE TAKA YOU HAVE TO COME HOME!”

            “The jacket? OH SHIT! MIYA!” Miya had already taken off at a run. “Sato, can you drive us home? Taka come with us, Kou’s going to need you

            “We’ll call later, we’ll take care of everything here.” Yukke held the door as they left.

            Kai and Shinya come rushing back to the dressing room. “What happened? Where’s Kou?” Shinya was just about to panic. “Where’s Miya?”

            “Koichi said the man…probably the rapist, spoke to him, it’s the guy with the black leather jacket, Shin.” Yukke was holding Kai. “I’m glad you’re both safe. Sato drove Kou and Tatsu home, Taka went with them. Miya ran out to try to get to security, see if they could find the guy. Shin, he said something to Koichi, he was close enough for Kou to hear it over the music, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?”

            “Oh gods, you’re safe, Kai… god, you too.” Miya had just run back into the room, seeing Shinya, he grabbed his lover and held him tight. “Miya, how can this guy get this close? Did anyone see anything?” Shinya had tears starting to roll down his face. “Baby, I don’t know, I don’t know what he said to Kou, or what he did, Kou was hysterical, we couldn’t get anything out of him. He didn’t want to go to the hospital so Tatsu took him home.”

            The rest of the group got the road crew and helped get the gear stored away. Miya spoke briefly with the manager of the venue, letting him know that DCR would probably be contacting him in the next day or so. He thanked the manager for his quick thinking, saying it was a sick fan, nothing more. The group was weary and dead on their feet, the adrenaline leaving them exhausted.

            Arriving at Tatsu’s flat, he carries the still sobbing Koichi, murmuring soft sounds, trying to calm his boy. Taking him directly to the bedroom, and lying him on the bed, “Kou baby, I’ll be right back, Taka will sit with you, okay?” He nods at Taka, as Koichi clings to him.

            “I didn’t see what happened, did you?” Tatsu stood in the kitchen with Sato. “I didn’t see anything either, what the fuck?” Tatsu and Sato go back to the bedroom, Koichi was sobbing into a pillow. “What did he say? What happened?” Taka had tears in his eyes. “He said that someone whispered in his ear ‘I will hurt you and everyone you love’, that’s when he freaked out. He said he turned and someone in a black leather jacket disappeared into the crowd. That’s when he screamed for you, I’m sorry Tatsu, I didn’t see the guy, if I had, I would have grabbed him or something.” Sato put his arms around Taka, “Pet, you got Kou up on the stage, you did exactly the right thing.” Kissing his boyfriends head, Sato held him tight.

            “It has to be the rapist, who else could it have been?” Tatsu moved to the living room.

            _“Yes, Detective, this is Tatsuro, I need to speak to you as soon as possible. There was an incident tonight, please call me back at this number.”_

            Going back into the bedroom, Taka had changed Koichi into sleep pants, and had wiped all the makeup off, and was attempting to brush out Kou’s hair. “I think he’ll be okay for the night.” Pulling Taka up from the bed, Tatsu embraced him in a bear hug. “Taka-kun, thank you…for everything you do for Kou, You’re a hell of a friend!”

            “I still love Kou, I’ll always be here for him.” Taka blushed as Tatsu kissed him on the cheek. “Let’s go home, Pet, they both need to rest. Call us in the morning, I’m sure the police will want to talk to Taka.” Sato patted his friend on the shoulder. “It will be okay, the police will catch him.”

            Tatsu had to shower, sweaty from the show, and from all the frantic anxiety of the last two hours, making sure Kou was comfortable, he stripped down and turned the water on. Washing away the grime of the makeup, Tatsu started to sob _. How do I keep him safe? He was right in front of me and that bastard was able to threaten him!_ Sobbing, Tatsu sunk to his knees, beating his hands on the shower wall, only when the water started to run cold, was he able to recover his composure. Drying off and getting in to sleep pants, Tatsu once again, left the light on in the bathroom. Crawling into bed with his boy, he pulled Koichi in tight, spooning him protectively. Koichi cried softly, whimpering “Tatsu...help me...don’t…” This broke Tatsu’s heart “I’ll save you Kou.” Jumping on the bed, Teo didn’t go to this usual spot, instead he wormed his way under Koichi’s chin, licking his face

 

            Two things woke Tatsu the next morning; a massive headache and his phone ringing. He checked the time 8:04, and answered the call;

                        _“Good morning, Detective, no it’s fine. I’m not sure how long Koichi will sleep, so if we could make it a little later, say around 2pm? Thank you, Detective_.”

            Koichi was sleeping peacefully, which had not been the case all night. Between crying out for Tatsu, and his constant moving, Tatsu was pleased that he was finally quiet. Leaving Teo to watch over Koichi, he got up and started some tea brewing. Sitting at the table, he knew today was going to be difficult and he hated to have to make Koichi replay what happened the night before. Checking his phone, there were several texts from Ryo, of Girugamesh, and Yui of Umbrella, offering assistance of any type. The last text was from Miya

            _Shinya is worried sick, he cried himself to sleep in my arms. He wants to see Kou. When you can, ask Kou if Shin can come visit, or at least text him._

            Tatsu texted Shinya back.

            _Shin, Koichi is still asleep, I’ll call when he wakes up._

_Thank you, Tatsu-kun._

            Straggling into the kitchen, Koichi walked up behind Tatsu and wrapped his arms around him. Tatsu just stood quietly, waiting for Koichi to make the next move. “Tea please.” Koichi mumbled into Tatsu’s back. As Tatsu moved around the kitchen, Koichi just kept his arms wrapped around his lover’s waist, following his every move. “Kou, where do you want to drink your tea?” Mumbling, Koichi let go of Tatsu, and sat on the couch. Koichi’s eyes were red and swollen, as if he were ill. Tatsu was hesitant, but he knew they had to talk. “Detective Fujioka will be here later this afternoon, would you like Shinya here as well? Or Taka?” Looking into his tea cup, Koichi whispered, “Can I have both? Taka was right there, I don’t what he saw, I want Shinya too, he’s not a hot head like you are, when they start asking questions.” Tatsu was surprised to hear that Kou thought he was a hot head. “I’m not that bad…I just don’t like it when they get pushy. Aoyama is better, he’s more…um like us I guess. Fujioka is an old fart.” Koichi agreed. “I like Aoyama, he’s younger, he probably understands us better, our lifestyle.” Tatsu was trying hard to get Kou to smile, but it didn’t happen. “I’m going to go lay down.” Koichi went back to bed, back to his safe spot, leaving a frustrated Tatsu to figure how to protect Kou.

            A knock on the door startled Tatsu awake. He had fallen asleep on the couch, the flat being so eerily quiet. Answering the door, it pleased him that both Shinya and Taka were there. “Thanks for coming, Kou’s still sleeping, but I’m expecting the police soon, so I’ll wake him up.” Taka and Shinya sat down and waited. Twenty minutes later, Koichi padded into the room, his appearance shocked his friends. “Oh, Kou-kun, honey, did you get any sleep at all?” Shinya had gotten up first, pulling Koichi into a gentle but tight hug. “A little, not much though.” Taka was tearing up, “I’m sorry Kou, I didn’t see him, I shou…should have watched you closer.” “You didn’t do anything wrong Taka, I’m sorry I freaked out so bad.” Koichi hugged his best friend. Tatsu watched from the kitchen as the three friends comforted each other, thankful for knowing such kind people. Tatsu made tea for everyone, as no one was really in the mood for idle conversation.

            Exactly at 2pm, Detectives Fujioka and Aoyama arrived. Both men were taken aback at Koichi’s appearance. “I’m thankful to see that you were not physically harmed last night, though I can imagine it was terrifying.” Detective Aoyama was much softer in the way he approached the questioning of Koichi, which he was grateful for. “So, explain what happened last night, what you remember.” Koichi told him about the show, they had all been there, and what had happened before the man spoke to him. “He told me that he would hurt me and everyone I love.” Aoyama was writing as he spoke. “Those were his exact words? Then what happened?” Koichi told him about seeing a man in a black leather jacket, disappear into the crowd, but after that, he didn’t remember much. “Kou…Koichi started screaming, calling for Tatsu and trying to get to the stage. I didn’t see the man.” Taka looked down at his lap, Shinya patted his hands. “

            “We heard Koichi screaming, Taka was rushing him to the stage, we stopped playing immediately, the bouncers helped him up over the barricades, I just picked him up and ran to the dressing room. Taka stayed with him, we were only gone for another 15 minutes, then we ran back, Kou was still pretty hysterical.” Tatsu was having a difficult time speaking. He had come to stand behind Kou, putting his hand on Kou’s shoulder.

            “No one saw this man’s face, correct? So, you could not identify anyone?” Fujioka was trying to draw a conclusion on why these people were being threatened, but nothing to him was clear yet. The detectives finished taking statements, but added a warning before leaving. “Whomever this is, he has no problem doing this in the open. I suggest that you, your band members and significant others, be cautious when you are out. We don’t have a clear motive what is behind these attacks, with this new development, I’m confident in saying that this person is connected to you assault, Koichi.”

            After assuring that they would relay any further information, the two detectives departed. Koichi now felt more tired than before and after hugging Shinya and Taka, he went back to bed. “Thank you both for coming, Koichi is…” Tatsu couldn’t hold it in anymore, he broke down, sobbing in his hands. Shinya sat with his friend, rubbing his shoulders and trying to calm him. “Shin, I don’t what to do! I want to protect him, but I can’t keep him locked in at home!”

            “I know you can’t Tatsu-kun, we’ll have to make sure someone is with him, all the time.” Tatsu shook his head, “Shin, you have a life with Miya, your band as well, I can’t ask that of you.” Taka cleared his voice. “I’ll stay with Kou, when you can’t be here. You and Sato have the same schedule, I’ll just bring Eddy, it’s not a problem.” Tatsu half smiled, “Thank you, Taka.” Shinya and Taka left for the day, making sure Tatsu would call them if needed. Heaving a great sigh, Tatsu picked up Teo and went back to bed, the only place he knew for sure, was safe for Koichi.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no actual knowledge of anything that has happened in real life to any of my characters. This is a work of pure fiction.

A few days had passed since the Halloween incident when a knock on the door surprised Koichi and Taka, it was one of the days that Mucc needed to be in the studio. “Are you expecting anyone?” Koichi shook his head. Taka grabbed a knife out of the kitchen, poised to use it as Koichi went to the door. “Hi Kou, can we come in?” Koichi was amazed when he saw Kai, Yukke’s boyfriend and another man he didn’t recognize right away. “Uh, sure Kai…is something wrong? It’s not Yukke is it?” Koichi’s voice went up an octave, and was shaky, “No, no, Yukke’s fine, just thought you’d like some comp…WOAH!” Coming around the corner, Kai see’s Taka with the knife. “TAKA! Shit, you scared the fuck out of me!”

            “Heh, sorry Kai, we’re just…uh, surprised, that’s all.” Taka turned a little red. Just as Kai and his friend got in the door, there was a furry scramble that crashed into Kai’s legs, then took off like a shot. “What the hell?”  Taka started to tell Kai it was Eddy and Teo, but Kai’s friend squealed in delight at the sight of the two kittens. “OH! Kittens!” Was the first they heard from the other man. “Oh, yah, not sure if you’ve met yet, this is Ruki.” _HOLY SHIT! Ruki is in my living room_. “Are those your kittens?” Koichi giggled, “Yes, the black one is mine, his name is Teo, Shinya gave him to me.” Ruki and Kai went into the living room, sitting on the couch as Taka was trying to round up the furry problems. “The brown and white trouble maker is Eddy, he belongs to Sato and me.”

            Once the kitten introductions were finished, Ruki began to talk, a lot. “So, you’re Tatsu’s boyfriend? I LOVE your pink hair. Tatsu’s sexy, don’t you think? Like in a dark, sexy erotic fuck me til I’m dead, sexy. And you’re Sato’s boy? I’d fuck him in a heartbeat, he’s got beautiful eyes, is his body as ripped as I imagine? He’s a drummer, so his arms…” Taka and Koichi blushed at Ruki’s running commentary about their boyfriends, with Kai rolling his eyes. But as suddenly as it started, it stopped. Ruki got quiet, started looking at his lap, Koichi thought he saw a tear fall. Ruki looked up and he was in fact, crying, looking at Koichi, his lip quivered. “I heard what happened, I’m sorry you went through that…I um…” Ruki was almost whispering. “That happened to me too.” Kai raised an eyebrow, he knew about Ruki’s rape, but Ruki never talked about it…ever.

            “It did?” Koichi whispered. Ruki nodded, “When I was 18, I didn’t have as many injuries as you did, and I …I remembered what happened…and I knew him too.” Ruki got up and went over to Koichi, sitting on the floor in front of him. They looked at each other for several moments, not speaking, not needing to. Ruki surprised Koichi as he sprung up and wrapped his arms around him. “I love you!” Koichi, in turn, wrapped his arms around the older man, “I love you too, Ruki. Thank you.” Kai and Taka looked at each other, not sure what was happening. The group visited for a while and with the promise of dinner dates, Kai and Ruki left for the afternoon. “That was weird, Kou. What was that all about?” Koichi smiled, “He understands how I feel, I mean, he’s been there, it happened to him. So, we have a weird bond, he just chose to call it love…that’s all.” Taka didn’t really understand, but anything to make Koichi feel better, was a good thing. “You have to admit, Kou, Ruki is a little weird, right?”

 

            Tatsu shook his head and laughed, “Yep, that sounds like Ruki.” Sitting on the couch, Koichi told him about all the weirdness that the visit provided. “Fuck me til I’m dead?” Koichi nodded, “And he told Taka he’d fuck Sato in a heartbeat.” Then Koichi looked at Tatsu seriously, “Did you know that he’d been raped?” Koichi had a pained expression on his face. “I had heard rumors, he told you?” Koichi nodded, “He said he knew the guy, he was only 18.”  Koichi then told Tatsu about Ruki’s confession. “He said what?”

            “He said I love you, and I said it back. It’s about us knowing what the other went through, and that we are connected through it. I’m not in love with him, but I do love him for sharing and understanding, that’s all.” Tatsu stared at his beautiful boy, “I’m so fucking lucky to have you in my life.” And with that confession, Tatsu scooped up his lover, took him to the bedroom, where they shared a little afternoon delight.

 

            “I’m bored. I need a job or a hobby or…” Koichi was pouting and sulking. He was still apprehensive about leaving the flat with anyone other than Tatsu. He didn’t say anything out loud, but he always found an excuse not go anywhere with Taka, who he saw almost as a target. “Want me to ask DCR management if they have some sort of paperwork you could do from home? Maybe something on the computer?” Koichi instantly perked up at the suggestion. “Do you think they would hire me? I’ll work for free!” Tatsu shook his head, “No, never work for free. I’ll ask next time I go to the studio.” Jumping up from the couch, Koichi put Tatsu into a kissing headlock, “thankyouthankyouthankyou!!” Tatsu’s heart swelled with relief, he’d been so worried over Kou’s frame of mind, it had been just over two weeks since the incident at the Halloween live. Taka had been there frequently, in the days following the live, but recently, Koichi had just been in a funk.

            Shinya had noticed Kou’s funk as well. “Kou-kun hasn’t called or texted me in a few days, I’m starting to worry.” Miya hugged his lover, “Tatsu said Kou’s been in a pissy mood lately, whining, that sort of thing. He’s bored, but won’t leave the flat without Tatsu.” Shinya sat for the rest of the day, trying to come up with something Koichi could do. Miya was in the kitchen, it was his night to make dinner. Shinya wandered in and hugged Miya from behind. “About Kou-kun” Miya ‘mmnnmm?’ “Is there something at DCR he could do? From home?” Taking a pot off the stove, Miya turned and kissed Shinya deeply. “What was that for?” Miya chuckled. “For being a mother hen.  I love you!” Miya snuck a kiss on Shinya’s nose. “I’ll ask around the next time we go in, okay?” Now it was Shinya’s turn to kiss Miya deeply, and all of a sudden, dinner plans had changed, as Shinya turned off the stove and pulled Miya into the bedroom.

 

            Tatsu walked down the hall, heading for the main office of DCR. Opening the door, he was surprised to see the other three members of Mucc. “Uh, did I miss a meeting or something?” Shutting the door, laughter could be heard.

 

            “Tadaima” Tatsu walked in, first seeing Teo running towards him, screaming for food. “Kou?” His stomach clenched. “Koichi?” he said louder. Dropping his bag, Tatsu ran to the bedroom, “KOU!” Opening the bedroom door, “KOICHI!” Sitting on the bed with headphones on, Koichi looked up, “Oh, hi, I didn’t hear you.” Tatsu walked quickly to the side of the bed and grabbed Koichi in a bear hug. “Wha…what’s wrong?” They sat like that for about 30 seconds, long enough for Tatsu’s heart to quiet. “Fuck…I thought…”

            “What? You thought what?” Koichi had his face in Tatsu’s hair, once of his comfort zones. “Never mind…” Letting go of Koichi, Tatsu stood up. “So, what are you doing?” Turning laptop towards Tatsu, “I’ve been watching videos of all the bands at DCR, just in case…” Turning Koichi’s head, Tatsu leaned down and quickly kissed his boy. “That’s a lot of videos, come to any conclusions?” Koichi showed Tatsu a notebook. “Uh, one thing is, I know the bands I don’t like, thankfully that’s a short list.” Tatsu looked at the list, agreeing with some, disagreeing with others. “At least Mucc isn’t on your list, that would be awkward for us, don’t you think?” Koichi shot Tatsu an evil grin. “That’s because I can control one of its members, with my super sexual powers.” Raising an eyebrow, Tatsu looked at his boy. Bending over, Tatsu whispered in Kou’s ear, “We’ll see about that…” Tatsu’s heated whisper made Koichi’s cock twitch. “…later, right now, you need to come to the living room.” Tatsu walked away quickly, sticking his hands down his pants to rearrange himself. “What? Pfft. Oh, fine!” Koichi went to the couch.

            “What’s so important, that I can’t use my super sexual powers on you?” Tatsu had retrieved his bag from the middle of the floor, sitting down next to Koichi, he drew out a large file folder, and put it on Kou’s lap. “DCR would like to hire you for some research work.”

            “Research work?” Koichi was puzzled. “Let me set this up. I went to the office to talk to someone about you. But someone already beat me to it. When I opened the door, Sato, Yukke and Miya were already there…for the same exact reason!”

            “What?” Tatsu chuckled. “Shinya and Taka knew you were bored, Shinya called Kai, who then talked to Yukke. So, with that much pressure, the marketing department created a job for you.  You are the first marketing and research assistant for DCR.” Tatsu got another folder out of the paperwork for Koichi to sign.

            Koichi’s smile lite up the room, but mostly it lit up Tatsu’s heart. “So, what am I doing?” Tatsu laid out some of the paperwork and explained that Kou was to research potential venues in the US for DCR bands to play in the immediate future. This would require Koichi to not only look at venues, but also learn popular cities in America. “DCR wants to be able to travel further than just the usual LA/NYC.” Koichi was shocked. “They’re trusting ME with this? Without even interviewing me or asking for my qualifications?”

            Tatsu was slightly surprised at that statement. “Baby, whether you realize it or not, you are a part of DCR now.  Spouses and partners are always included in the DCR family, you don’t have to be in one of the bands. A lot of the wives and non-music partners do events, help with catering. I’m not sure how much you remember the first two days after you got home from the hospital, but we had a lot of food, our laundry was taken care of, that sort of stuff was all taken care of by the wives and partners.” This made Koichi tear up, then he smacked Tatsu in the arm. “Asshole! Why didn’t you tell me? Shit! I have thank you cards to write!” Pulling Koichi into his lap, Tatsu kissed his nose. “That’s been taken care of weeks ago, Shinya wrote them out, I signed for both of us and he mailed them out.” Koichi faked an indignant pout, “Hmph”

            The couple spent the day setting up a small office space in the spare bedroom, with some unwanted help from Teo. Tatsu couldn’t stop smiling, as Kou bossed him around, telling him where to put something, only to change his mind ten minutes later _. He seems to be enjoying this, please let it stay that way._

Koichi was taking his new job seriously. Shushing Tatsu if he tried to talk to him. This was cute, the first week, but after several nights of going to bed alone, Tatsu started to pout. He now missed his boyfriend, even living under the same roof. After two weeks, Tatsu had had enough. He had ordered food from their favorite café, set a beautiful table, with flowers. He had showered, using Koichi’s fave smelling body wash, when everything was ready, he went to Koichi’s office. “Hey baby, I have a surprise for us tonight.” Tatsu leaned over Koichi’s chair, and licked the back of his neck, and act that normally made Koichi drop what he was doing, but not tonight. “Mm?” Koichi wasn’t pay attention. Tatsu tried again, “Kou, I have dinner ready, are you coming?”  He stood in the doorway. “Kou? Are you going to eat?” Koichi finally turned to look at Tatsu. “I’ll be five more minutes, I promise.” Tatsu smiled and went in and lit the candles. Sitting down, he waited. And waited. After almost twenty minutes, he’d had enough. Blowing out the candles, thrown the flowers and food in the trash, he grabbed his things, walked out and slammed the door.

            Pushing back his chair, Koichi was finally finished with his project. Checking the time, 11:47, he was surprised it was that late. He was hungry and started towards the kitchen. “Tatsu, why are the lights out _?” Did he go to bed?_ “Tatsu?” Walking into the kitchen, Koichi saw the remnants of what was supposed to be a romantic dinner. “Oh, fuck!” he groaned. Remembering that Tatsu said he had a surprise…and that he had forgotten his five more-minute promise.

 

* _Authors note: This next section is based on a drama I found a few years back and have watched many times, called “Shinya Shokudo” or Midnight Restaurant. The Oji-an in this story is modeled after “Master_ ”.

 

            Koichi walked into the bedroom, “Tatsu, I’m so sorry…” Turning on the bathroom light, he saw that Tatsu was not in bed…he wasn’t even in the flat. Koichi could feel the panic start to rise, “What should I do? Call his phone!” It went straight to voice mail. “Do I call…shit who would I even call this late?” Koichi sat on the couch, covering himself with a blanket. It was dark in the flat, with a small glow from outside as the only light.

 

            “FUCK!” Tatsu was pissed off, he walked to a ramen hut nearby and got a ramen bowl and a beer. “You look upset, are you okay?” The Oji-san knew Tatsu, not by name, but he was keenly observant with his regular customers. “I’m just angry with someone, Oji-san, sorry for swearing.” Tatsu held up a finger for another beer. “Is what you’re angry about serious? Something like infidelity or money?” Tatsu shook his head,   
“No, nothing like that.” The Oji-san gave Tatsu more ramen, “On the house, soak up that beer.” Tatsu nodded, “If it’s nothing serious, is it worth being angry with that person?” The Oji-san knew about his customer’s partners, but never disclosed it, who they dated was private and he respected that his customer’s privacy. Tatsu wanted another beer, three was the limit at this ramen hut. “I’ve just been ignored lately, he never seems to have time for us anymore. I don’t know what to do about it. He said he was bored so I found him a job he could do at home. But now he’s too busy to even eat dinner with me.”

            “What would he do when you were at work? You’re an entertainer, correct? So, when you were gone, what would he do?” Tatsu thought for a moment. He’d never asked Kou what he did when he was gone. Ever since the rape, Koichi didn’t want to leave the flat, he assumed that Kou just…just what? Sit and wait for him like a good little boyfriend? Looking up at the Oji-san, Tatsu felt foolish. “Oji-san, thank you.” Tatsu paid bill, left a generous tip and walked home. Climbing the stairs, he thought about what he would say to Koichi in the morning. Quietly unlocking the door, Tatsu came in and removed his shoes. Turning on a small light in the kitchen, he peered into the living room. What he saw laying on the couch, tore his hear out. Koichi was curled up in a ball, wrapped in a blanket, Teo under his chin. It was obvious that his boy had been crying, his face red, his eyes swollen. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” He whispered, not wanting to wake his love. Tatsu hurried into the bathroom, put on sleeping pants and got the bed ready. Picking up Kou carefully, he placed him in bed, climbing in, he gently covered them both. With a kiss and a sigh, it was quiet.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No clue to why this was a short chapter...

I’m going to visit the marketing office, is that okay?” Koichi had decided to go to the studio, with Tatsu, wanting to get out of the flat. “Um, sure, of course. I’ll be down the hall in the rehearsal room when you’re finished.” Tatsu was relieved that Koichi wanted to accompany him, it was a first step, a small one, but progress none the less. After the failed romantic dinner, they both agreed to more time together, away from the flat if possible. It was a surprise when Koichi said he would like to visit DCR, and speak to the marketing people.

            Tatsu went to the rehearsal room, opening the door he was met with vocal chaos. He saw Miya, “What the hell is this?” Joining Miya on the couch. “DCR is talking about postponing tours, because of what the police have said.” Tatsu was confused, the police had not contacted him. “You’ve not seen the news today?” Tatsu shook his head. “Why? What happened?” “Let’s go outside.” Standing in the alley, behind the studio, Miya appeared more serious than usual. “Yui, the vocalist for Umbrella? He was beat up pretty bad after a live, two nights ago. Someone grabbed him as he was loading gear, dragged him from behind and beat him. Nothing’s broken, but he has a lot of cuts. He couldn’t see who it was, once the guy threw Yui to the ground, the guy must have heard the other members and he took off.”

            “SHIT! It has to be the same guy, right?” Tatsu was glad Kou was still in the marketing office. “Well, the cops seem to think so, it was on the news last night and again this morning, I’m surprised you didn’t see it.”

            “So, why all the shit in the studio?”

            “DCR is talking about postponing tours. The police called the boss, told him he thought this had to be related to the other attacks. It’s been DCR bands and spouses or boyfriends.” Miya watched a dark shadow fall over his friend’s face. “Shit, I need to get to Kou before he hits the studio.” As Tatsu walked down the hall, Koichi was just getting to the rehearsal room. “Kou, uh wait up.” Koichi stopped. “Hey, are you done already? Sounds pretty intense in there, everything okay?” Tatsu hugged his boy, “Are you up to lunch? I know a great ramen hut near the flat.” Koichi agreed, it felt great to be out of the flat and he felt safe with Tatsu. “Um…ramen? Yes please! Ramen sounds great.” Grabbing his boy, they went to the ramen hut with the wise Oji-san.

 

            “Oji-san, two pork cutlet ramen bows and two beers please.” Oji-san bowed, but not before winking at Tatsu, which Koichi caught. “What was that about?” Before Tatsu could answer, Oji-san placed their beers in front of them. “How is work for you these days?” Oji-san stood in front of Tatsu, his arms crossed. “Much better, thank you.” Tatsu looked a little sheepish, in answering Oji-san, which was not lost on Koichi. Before anything else could be said, two pork cutlet, with an egg, ramen bowls were placed on the bar. “Oh, my gods! This is amazing!” reaching over, Kou smacked Tatsu in the shoulder. “How long have you known about this place? Oji-san, this is wonderful, arigato!” Tatsu snuck a quick look at Oji-san, who winked again. Tatsu and Kou enjoyed their meal, trading soft insults with each other.  It was the best afternoon they’d had together in a long while.

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

“You have to give me a list!”

            “Not until you give me one!”

            It was a stalemate, neither one wanting to give in first. “Fine! You make your list, I’ll make mine, then when we’re done, we’ll put them on the table together.” Tatsu rolled his eyes, threw up his hands and laughed. “Are we really arguing over Christmas lists? Really?” Koichi answered by sticking out his tongue. Tatsu responded to that stuck out tongue with a deep kiss. “NO!” Koichi broke away from Tatsu, “You’re not getting out of this by kissing me! Go away. Write your list.” This entire scene had started when Tatsu said he didn’t care what Kou got him, but when Koichi pushed the issue, “Fine, buy me new underwear, red ones.”

            Koichi didn’t appreciate Tatsu’s humor and as a result, got a book thrown at him. Koichi started sulking. “This is our first Christmas together! Don’t spoil it for me, please.” Koichi was making decent money now, working for DCR and he wanted a big traditional Christmas. Later that same day, Tatsu and Koichi stood in the kitchen, planning. “Okay, we will change spots first, then look at the lists, okay?” Tatsu rolled his eyes again. “Fine, can we just do this please?” They traded spots…Koichi grabbed Tatsu’s list and ran to his office. Opening the list, there were only three items listed;

  1. I want you to feel safe again no matter where you are or who you’re with.
  2. I want to wake up next to you for the rest of our lives.
  3. I want you to sit in front of the Christmas tree, on Christmas eve, at midnight.



 

 Reading the first two items caused Koichi to gasp, placing his hand over his mouth, he started to cry softly. The third item intrigued him, making him wonder what would happen. After reading the list over and over again for ten minutes, he stopped, “ASSHOLE!!!”  Running into the kitchen, he showed the list to Tatsu, “Where is your list?”

            “You have it in your hand.” Tatsu said smugly.

            “It’s not fair! There is nothing listed for me to _buy_ you for Christmas!” Koichi threw a mini tantrum, stomping his foot, hands on his hips.  Reaching out, Tatsu grabbed Kou, hugging him tightly, even as his boy squirmed. “Baby, you can get me what you’d like to, I don’t care. I truly only want what’s on that list. Buy me socks, shampoo, a vibrator or cup noodles, I will love whatever you get me. And most importantly, be sitting in front of the Christmas tree at midnight.” Leaning into Tatsu, Koichi finally stopped being bratty, “Okay, so what color vibrator do you want?”

 

            “EDDY! You little fucker! Get off those curtains!” Taka watched Sato chase Eddy down from the curtains he had just run up. “Pet, this is not funny! Those curtains were expensive!” Eddy jumped off the valance, and onto the back of the chair, hitting it at a dead run. “So, does this mean we can’t have a Christmas tree?” Taka had not had a real Christmas in two hears, he was looking so forward to it this year. “We’ll get a tree, but if we have to leave the flat, Eddy goes into the bathroom, and he sleeps there at night.” Taka got up and started to wander around the flat, a finger on his chin. “Pet, what are you doing?”

            “Hmm?”  Taka kept pacing. “Trying to figure out how to decorate of course! I think we should put the tree in front of the window…oh SHIT! Do you have any Christmas decorations…like for the tree?” Sato just sat on the couch, with a bemused smile. “SATO!” Taka smacked him on the leg. “What? Oh…yah, I have a few, from my parents, but not enough if we get a large tree, we’ll need to buy more.” Before he stopped speaking, Taka was on the phone.

            _“Kou, want to go shopping? Yah, and I need to buy decorations too. OH! I bet they’d come if they’re not busy. Okay, text me when you find out.”_

            Taka was a whirlwind around the flat for the next hour, counting, measuring, writing it all in a notebook. Standing still for just a moment, Sato grabbed Taka around the waist from behind. “Hold still for a second, will yah?” Nuzzling the back of Taka’s neck, Sato whispered, “you haven’t told me what you want for Christmas yet, I have some general ideas, but is there something specific you want?” Sato’s hand slid down the front of Taka’s track pants, sliding his thumbs into the band, “Um…yah…I don’t…” Taka rocked back into Sato, leaning his head back, Sato lightly biting his neck, moaning at the salty sweetness of his lover’s skin. “What was that, Pet? You never answered me…what do you want for Christmas?” Having slid his hands into Taka’s pants, gently fondling Taka’s hardening cock, Sato bit down on Taka’s shoulder, a bit more firmly than the first time. “I can’t…please…don’t make me…” Taka couldn’t think, he knew he was supposed to answer, but he couldn’t do anything, all he felt was the heated pressure of his lover’s firm hands on his stiffness. Sato had him, once Taka couldn’t speak, only moan, Sato could do most anything to his beautiful submissive love.

            Sato started to grind his hips into Taka’s ass, “We need to move this to the bedroom, or do you want it here?” He had started to firmly stroke Taka’s already straining erection, feeling the pre-cum leaking for the tip. “Here…now please...here!” In one swift motion, Sato pulled Taka’s track pants and boxers off his hips, bending him over the side of the couch, “You look so delicious like this.” Taka reached into the cushion of the couch, for lube, handing it to Sato, who drizzled it over Taka’s puckering ring. Sato knew that Taka only needed minimal prep, lubing himself up, he grabbed Taka’s hips, but not before bending down and biting the beautiful pale ass. Taka was whining, “Please…now…please.” Sato seated himself in one long push, “Fuck…you always feel so fucking tight.” Pulling Taka’s arms, Sato started to move, long hard thrusts, pulling almost all the way out, only to thrust back in again. “Hard…fuck me harder…please!” Taka was grinding his cock into the couch, the friction of the leather mixed with his pre-cum was a glorious feeling. “Shit…oh…I’m not…” Sato moved faster, pulling on Taka’s arms, “So close, Pet... god, you’re so fucking beautiful.” Sato let go of Taka’s arms, and as he reached down to bite Taka’s neck, Taka shot his load all over the couch, which made Sato pound his boy even harder. In a last frenzied move, Sato emptied his load into Taka’s ass, pushing with every spasm of his cock. Falling on top of Taka, the lovers spent a moment catching their breath.

            Once recovered, Taka grabbed a towel from the couch, much like the lube, there were towels placed all around the flat, for occasions such as this. “Mm…that was wonderful.” Cleaning up their mess, Sato poised the question that had started the impromptu fuck. “Taka, you’re going to have to come up with a Christmas list.” Taka looked into Sato’s eyes, leaned in and kissed him, “I have everything I could ever desire, you treat me better than I deserve, you love me deeper every single day. I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I have all I want right here with you and Eddy. But if you insist on buying me something, I’d like a laptop, that’s all.” Sato furrowed his brow, “Why a laptop?” Taka blushed, “Just for fun, when you’re at the studio, or if I’m with Kou, I can help him with his work. Don’t make it sound so weird! If it wasn’t for a laptop, we wouldn’t be together!” Taka kissed Sato on the nose and picked up his notebook, and started planning decorations

           

                        Kai was standing next to Koichi, constantly looking around them. Shinya and Taka were nearby as well. Koichi was getting better about leaving his flat, but after the Halloween live, he was always on edge. The four of them were Christmas shopping for their respective boyfriends, and while Christmas was nothing new for Kai and Shinya, it was a first for Taka and Koichi.

            “What was the best gift either of you got for Christmas?” Taka was curious, he felt he need some sort of gauge on what to buy. Kai smiled, “Probably the case of my favorite drumsticks, maybe our third Christmas together?”      

            “An entire case? How many are in a case?” Taka couldn’t imagine the size of the box.

            “100 count. I might still have a few. In my early days, I went through a lot more than I do now.”

            “What about you, Shinya?” Koichi asked softly. “One of the best gifts Miya has given me was a large donation in my name to a dog rescue group.” Koichi knew Shinya’s love of animals, especially dogs, and could see Miya doing just that, just to see his lover smile. “Wow! Now that’s sweet.”

 

            Six hours, fifteen bags and a nice lunch later, the group headed home, promising to get together for a small party. Standing in front of his door, Koichi kicked the door instead of knocking, his hands full of bags. “Shit! Do you have any money left?” Koichi made a bee-line for his office, closing the door, “DO NOT COME IN HERE!” he shouted at Tatsu. Coming back into the living room, Tatsu could tell his boy was happy. “Did you have fun?” Koichi spent the next half hour talking about the shopping trip, “You know? I really like Kai, he’s almost the exact opposite of Yukke. He has the cutest laugh, and he likes to poke fun at everyone.” Tatsu smiled, “You think? I don’t know if he’s the exact opposite…maybe a little more, um, loud?” Snuggling against Tatsu, Koichi smirked, “I think Kai is a top, I just see him, well…over Yukke.” Feigning shock, Tatsu covered his mouth with his hand, “You mean…Yukke is the passive one? I’m shocked!” Koichi hit Tatsu in the shoulder, “No teasing, I don’t know them as well as I know Miya and Shinya.”

            Relaxing on the couch, Koichi’s head resting in Tatsu’s lap, the question of Koichi’s birthday came up. “What do you want to do for your birthday? Party, or something quiet?” Peering up through his bangs, the questioned surprised Koichi, “Um, I’ve never really celebrated my birthday, my parents just lumped it together with Christmas. I don’t need anything separate, don’t worry about it.” Koichi’s response pained Tatsu. “Are you sure? We can invite people over if you’d like.” Koichi shook his head, “NO, I don’t need anything, spending Christmas with you is all I need.” Before Koichi even finished, Tatsu’s thoughts started spinning in his mind. _Nope, you’re going to have your own special day, I’m going to treat you like you should be treated._

 

It was two weeks until Christmas, which typically was the DCR holiday party. It was a very small, catered dinner, with gifts from DCR management. Bands that were not on tour, usually attended. This year there was a change in venue, from the studio to the restaurant that all the  frequented. Most of the company’s talent was in attendance, with a few who always crashed DCR functions.  Mucc was there, with their boyfriends, although Shinya and Kai went back and forth between that table and the table their bands sat at. It was a surprisingly festive event, even with the recent events. Most bands were picking up small local lives, while others decided to take some much, needed R&R.

            _Why is he staring at me? That’s more than a ‘hi’ stare._ Taka squirmed in his chair, little shocks and twinges racing to his dick. He looked at the man again. Now the man was smiling and nodding his head at Taka. _What the fuck?_

“Taka, what the hell is wrong with you? Did you drink a lot of coffee or something.” Sato noticed how jumpy Taka was, but he saw nothing to explain his lover’s mood. “Can we go outside for a minute? I need some air.” Taka saw the smirk on the man’s face as they left. “What the hell Taka?” He was embarrassed. “Okay, I might be sensing something that’s not really there, but…shit! Sakurai-san keeps staring at me!” Sato started to speak, but changed his mind, instead he started laughing. “Acchan is staring at you?” Taka became angry, “yes! He’s staring at me, like all predatory and shit!”  Taka crossed his arms and stood against the wall. “What do you mean, predatory?” Everyone was on high alert due to the recent attacks. “Not like aggressive or anything like that, more like…” Taka didn’t want to say it aloud. “Pet, like what?” Sato was starting to become concerned. “Like he wants to fuck me…hard.” This is not what Sato was expecting to hear from his boy. “Guess I should go talk to him.” “NO! DON’T!” Taka grabbed Sato by the arm, “Don’t say anything, please.” Sato stopped, “What if he’s just being nice? I’m probably imagining all of it. Please don’t say anything! Please!” Sato held his hand up, “Okay, I won’t say anything. You know, Acchan just looks like that naturally, he makes _my_ dick hard if I look at him for too long.” Sato quickly kissed Taka and they returned to the party.

            The part was at its peak, with music, food and alcohol, not to mention certain members of certain bands, were entertaining everyone. Ruki was drunk, very drunk and was hanging all over Ryo, from Girugamesh, who was not into Ruki at all.

                                    “AOI! REITA! Come get this drunk ass floozy off me!”

            There was an audible collective groan heard through the room, with various versions of “uh, oh.”

                        “DRUNK ASS FLOOZY! FUCK YOU RYO! YOU WISH YOU COULD FUCK SOMEONE LIKE ME!

            And with that, Ruki was on the rampage, jumping onto Ryo’s back, screaming. Ruki tried to beat Ryo in the head, but being a drunk ass floozy, he merely rode Ryo around the room. Kai and Reita grabbed their vocalist off Ryo, and pinned him to a chair, tying his arms with some of his own scarves. A DCR part was never a success without a Ruki rampage. Kai and Uruha were laughing so hard they were both in tears.

            As the party wound down, Taka noticed Sato speaking to Sakurai. “Oh shit! You said you wouldn’t.”  Taka groaned. “What’s wrong? Why can’t Sato talk to Sakurai?” Koichi didn’t know what had happened earlier in the evening. Sato bowed to Sakurai and walked back to the table. “You said you wouldn’t talk to him.” Taka was close to tears of embarrassment. “Pet, we were talking business, nothing more. Don’t worry so much.” Koichi was watching Sakurai as Sato and Taka spoke. Sakurai was smiling in an openly seductive manner _. That’s weird_.

            As the part was breaking up, Taka was getting ready to get into Sato’s car, a voice made him turn around, “I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your lover, Taka-kun.” Taka turned to thank the man, and visibly paled, when he found himself looking at Sakurai. “Than…k you.” He whispered. “Ready to go, Taka?” Sato’s voice popped the silent bubble, in which Taka was floating. “Yes…oh, yah! I’m ready.”

            _God, he’s so delicious! That tiny ass, probably tight as hell. Black rope would be beautiful against his skin. Hmm, but how to capture him…”_

~~

            His DCR job had Koichi swamped with work. Researching venues, outside of Japan, was difficult. The language barrier was the main problem, the other was the size of the US. His office was a disaster, mainly because it wasn’t a real office, just a guest bedroom with a desk. Papers on the bed, on the floor, his printer sat on the floor, he only had room on his desk for it when he moved his laptop, he didn’t even have a desk chair, just a metal folding chair. “FUCK!” Tatsu peeked into the room. “Everything okay?” Koichi was sitting on the floor with several piles of paper around him. “I can’t find one of my lists! It has names of venues in, um…Washington.” Tatsu sat on the floor with Kou, and helped him look. “We need to get you like a file cabinet, keep this stuff better organized.” It took the couple another 45 minutes to finish.

             “Hey, let’s go get a Christmas tree after dinner.” Koichi’s eyes lit up, “Oh, yes please! I’m so over this right now.”  Tatsu wasn’t even sure what they were going to look for. “What kind of tree are we looking for? Traditional? One of those sparkly metal types?” Koichi thought for a moment, “Can we do a really traditional tree, I mean like a real traditional Christmas, since this is our first together?” Tatsu smiled and kissed Kou on the nose. “Okay, traditional Christmas it is!” It was just the right weather to shop for a tree, cold, but not snowing, the couple bundled up and took the car into the city. Finding a tree lot with parking, the started to cruise the rows of trees. Tatsu would pull a tree out, and Koichi would comment, “Too crooked, dead on one side, ugly.” After thirty minutes, Koichi found his tree. “Yaataa! It’s perfect! I want this one.” Tying the tree to the top of the car, the couple had just started their Christmas tradition as a couple.

            Tatsu was on the couch, watching his boy decorate the tree, taking the project over like a small military commander. He helped as much as he was allowed, mostly putting the lights on. At the end, Tatsu pulled out a small box, wrapped with a red bow.  “Open it.” As he handed it to Kou. “Shouldn’t this go under the tree?” Pulling Koichi into his lap, he hugged his boy. “No, it’s for right now.” Kissing Tatsu first, Kou opened the box. “Oh god, it’s beautiful!” In the box was a silver star, engraved with Our First Christmas, and their names and the year. “Where do we put it? We have to do it together.” With their arms around each other, they placed the star near the top of the tree. “Perfect!” Tatsu laughed, “Boy are we like newlyweds or what?” Koichi looked at him, “Would that be such a bad thing? I mean…” Turning Kou around to face him, Tatsu kissed him, “No, it would be wonderful.” Hugging Kou tightly they stood looking at their Christmas tree, both dreaming of their future together.

 

*Authors Note: _My apologies for the over- done Christmas tree story. I’m a huge fan of Christmas and this was very similar to my own first Christmas with husband. So, I’m sappy, yep_.


	25. Chapter 25

 

            “We have to leave by 5:30, our reservation is at 6.” Tatsu was acting strange, “Why are we even doing this? I told you not to worry about my birthday, do we have to go out?” Koichi was perturbed, he didn’t want to out for his birthday, he really wanted to stay home and wrap presents. “Taka wanted to do this, so let’s just humor him, okay?” Muttering under his breath, Koichi got his coat and waited by the door. “This is so stupid.” Leaning against the wall, arms folded and scowling. “Well don’t you look…um…nice?” teased Tatsu. He had major plans for the night, but it was critical to get Kou out of the flat on time. “Ready? Let’s go.” Koichi was still pouting when they got into the car. As they were pulling away, Tatsu saw a large white truck pull into the driveway. _Just in time._

            Tatsu checked his watch for the umpteenth time since they got in the car, which Koichi thought was weird. They arrived at the restaurant just before 6pm. The valet took the keys and the doorman greeted them. “Good evening and Merry Christmas, Tatsuro-sama, Koichi-sama, please enjoy your evening.” Stopping at the coat check, the couple walks into the dining area. As they moved towards their normal table, Koichi began to notice something odd. All the tables had flowers, larger arrangements thank normal, and that fact that he knew virtually everyone in the room, was also odd.

            Arriving at their table, all the members of Mucc and their boyfriends were there. Turning to Tatsu, he then notices everyone in the room has gotten up and were now standing in a semi-circle around them. “Happy Birthday, Kou. I couldn’t let your birthday be overshadowed by Christmas. You deserve your own day to celebrate. So, I told a few of our friends and well, here we are! I love you baby!” Tatsu then grabbed Koichi and kissed him passionately, which of course embarrassed him, but everyone else applauded and offered up birthday wishes.

            Taka walked up to Koichi, “You’re my best friend. You’ve stuck to my side through…well we don’t need to go into that. To think how we started out, to where we are now, is almost impossible to believe. I love you Kou, Happy Birthday!” Taka and Koichi hugged, both a bit weepy. As they sat down for dinner, people would randomly come up to speak to everyone and wish Kou happy birthday. There were quite a few women in the dining area that Koichi thought he recognized, but as the way it was in the industry, who these women were and who they were with, was to remain unsaid.

            Koichi had just leaned over and kissed Tatsu when a deep soft voice spoke to him, “Have you changed your mind yet Kou? Or are you going to stay with this asshole? I’m still waiting for your call.” Koichi turned and winked at Kyo, he knew how Kyo and Tatsu bantered back and forth, Koichi liked the spikey vocalist.

            “Dammit Kyo! Stop trying to steal my boyfriend!”

            “Steal? Shit I bet you a hundred bucks he leaves you for me in six months, right Koichi?”

            Kou laughed as the two friends argued over him. “Kyo, you’ll be the first person to know if I ever leave Tatsu, I promise.” Tatsu turned to his boy, “WHAT?” Kyo bent down and kissed Koichi on the cheek, “Watch out Tatsu…” Kyo walked away with a huge grin on his face. Tatsu crossed his arms and attempted to look upset, but couldn’t stop from cracking a smile. “Guess I’ll have to do something before the six months is up, right?”

            During the rest of the evening, Koichi was introduced to the other members of Dir En Grey and the Gazette.  Following Kyo’s lead, Die teased Tatsu was well, “Yah, I see why Kyo would try to steal you away. Tatsu, keep a close on Koichi, better treat him well, I can think of a few others that might try to entice him away from you.” After Die left, Tatsu pulled Koichi into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. “Shinya? Are Die and Kyo always like that? It’s almost like you and Kaoru have to babysit them.” Shinya laughed. “Yes, Kou-kun, they are always like that, sometimes dragging Kaoru or Toshiya in as well.” Tatsu suddenly had to get up, as his phone was buzzing in his pocket. “Oh, I have to take this, I’ll be right back.” Kou looked at Tatsu suspiciously. Turning to the others at the table, “What’s his deal? He’s been really weird all night.” No one answered.

            Tatsu returned from his phone call, making Koichi sit on his lap again. “Everything okay, Tatsu?” Miya knew what the phone call was about. “Hm? Oh…yah, everything is good.”

            It was starting to get late, and guests were starting to drift out. Koichi was talking quietly with Taka, when someone tapped him on the shoulder. “Hi, Ruki, what’s up?” Ruki was quiet and a bit reserved, “I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, Koichi. I hope everything is perfect for you for Christmas too. Maybe we can hang out sometime soon. I love you.” Ruki then reached around Tatsu and hugged Kou. “I’d like that a lot too, Ruki. I love you too. Have a great Christmas.” Ruki walked away, grabbing Aoi and left. Everyone at the table was dumbfounded, even Taka and Tatsu, who knew about Ruki’s confessions. “Uh…what was that all about?” Yukke had a shocked look on his face. Kai patted him on the thigh, “Ruki and Kou have a special bond, that is private. Both use the words I love you, as a way to say that they each understand the other.” The others let the issue drop, knowing where it probably led.

            They were some of the last guests to leave. Hugs and kisses and plans for something after Christmas were made. Getting in the car, Tatsu leaned over and kissed Kou, “Happy Birthday baby.” Pulling away from the restaurant, Koichi’s eyes became heavy. He was warm, he was with Tatsu, he knew he was loved. Tatsu looked over at Kou again, and smiled, seeing that his young lover had fallen asleep.

            Pulling up to the parking lot of the flat, he gently shook Koichi awake. “Kou, baby, we’re home.” Stretching and moaning, Koichi woke, “Mmm… I’m tired, let’s go to bed…” They climbed the stairs, Teo was demanding food and Kou headed straight for the bathroom. Tatsu checked the guest room, then quickly shut the door. Checking to see if Teo was ready for bed, Tatsu closed up the flat. Slipping into bed, Kou was snoring softly, good food and champagne, fun with friends and being out, wore Tatsu’s lover out. Waiting for Teo to pick his spot, Tatsu drew his boy in tight, “Happy Birthday, babe” kissing Koichi’s ear, “I love you.” Koichi responded with a wiggle, “mm…love…warm Tats…”

 

            “OH MY GOD!! TATSU!!”  The sound of Koichi screaming startled Tatsu out of a deep sleep. As he attempted to get out of bed, something heavy landed on him. “Oh my god oh my god!!” Koichi couldn’t say anything else. “Kou! What’s wrong?” Suddenly it was Koichi’s mouth on his, his tongue begging to be let in. grinding his hips into Tatsu, Koichi was squirming, and just as suddenly as it had started, it was gone. “What the fuck?” moaned Tatsu. Getting up, he was finally clear headed enough to realize, Koichi had found his birthday present. Following the squeals of joy, Tatsu leaned against the door, watching his boy. “Do you like it?” He smiled. “Pfft! Well, DUH! Of course, I love it.”

            Koichi was sitting in his new office chair, which was in front of his new home office work station. “How? When?” Koichi was opening drawers and cabinets, looking at his new computer, his new filing cabinet. “Remember when we spent all that time looking for one piece of paper you lost? Well, that’s when I came up with this for your birthday.” Jumping up from his chair, Koichi threw his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, kissing him all over his face. Tatsu laughed, “I had it installed last night while we were at dinner.” “You sir, are very sneaky,” Kou chided, “But I love it! This will make work much easier and more organized. Thank you.” This then lead to more kissing, more groping and a long hot shower for two.

            Koichi threw his arms around Tatsu’s neck, and clung to him for support. “Uh…ohh, gods yes…Tat…su” moaned Koichi as his lover thrust deeply into his lover’s tiny ass. “fuck…you’re always so damned tight…” Tatsu bit the soft skin of Kou’s collarbone, as he started to whine, “Now…please…yes…harder now!” With an increased frenzy, Tatsu buried himself deeply, gripping Koichi’s hips, in a last passionate thrust, Tatsu was pushed over the edge, “uhh…fuck! Mggnngh…Kou!” Pushing Kou against the shower wall, he flooded his boy with warm cream. “Do…nt…drop me!” mewled Kou, clamping his legs around Tatsu’s waist. “I don’t want to drop you but I might fall over!” smirked Tatsu. “Uh, Kou? The water is starting to go cold, so unless you want to be a popsicle, we needed to get out.” Kou nuzzled Tatsu’s neck, “will you be my stick?” Letting Koichi slip down, Tatsu laughed, “I’m sorry Kou, but that was corny as fuck.” Wrapping them both in fuzzy towels, Koichi stomped out of the bathroom, turning to Tatsu, he stuck his tongue out. “Hmph.  Calling me corny?” Running up to his boy, Tatsu grabbed him and smothered him with kisses. “Yah, you’re corny, but it’s just another part of you that I love.”  Now it was Koichi’s turn to laugh. “And you called me corny? Pfft! You’re as bad as I am!” the two lovers then had a tussle on the bed, with both of them winning.

 

            Taka was rearranging the ornaments on the tree for the millionth time. “Pet, why are you doing that again? The tree looked beautiful the first time we decorated it.” Moving a glass ornament three inches from the previous spot, Taka tried to explain, “Humor me, please. This is my first real Christmas in two years. I never went home for Christmas while I was at University. To have a real Christmas, with someone I love? Sometimes I feel like it’s not real, that somehow, I’m going to wake up, in my shitty flat, alone.” Taka turned back to the tree. Sato was trying to hide the tears that were threatening to fall. Getting up, he stood behind Taka, wrapping his arms around his waist, placing his chin on Taka’s shoulder. He kissed Taka’s neck, causing him to shudder and a small moan escaped, “This is no nightmare, everything is real. I’m not going anywhere, which means you’re stuck with me. If you want to rearrange the ornaments, I say do it. I’ll try my best to make sure you and I have a wonderful first Christmas.” Taka turned to look at Sato, “I love you, and thank you.”

 

            Sitting on the couch, Koichi was trying not to clock watch. It was Christmas eve, and he had thirty minutes before he was supposed to sit in front of the Christmas tree, as per the instructions on Tatsu’s gift list. _If it’s a gift for him, why am I sitting on the floor? First Christmas fuck? Kinky, in front of the tree, decorate me then unwrap?_ “Pfft!” Koichi snorted, “Did you say something Kou?” Tatsu on the other hand had been sitting quietly, playing a game on his tablet. “Huh? Oh, no, I was just thinking.” _Cute how worked up he is, this will be epic_.

            With ten minutes until midnight, Tatsu gets up and goes to the bedroom, locking the door. “What the hell?” Koichi muttered. Still watching the clock, Koichi sits in front of the Christmas tree. _This can’t possibly be as good as my office. Oh, new kitten? Shit, how could he hide that in the bedroom_? “BAH!”         

            Tatsu cracked the bedroom door open. “Kou? Are you sitting in front of the tree?” Koichi sighed, “yes, I’m here.”

            “Close your eyes please.” Koichi closed his eyes. He could hear Tatsu moving around, he had heard light switches being turned off. “Can I open my eyes now?” Koichi was whining like a 6-yr. old. Kou heard Tatsu move again.

            “Open your eyes, Koichi.” As Koichi opened his eyes, almost immediately he began to cry. Standing in front of him was Tatsu, in a dark gray suit with a black shirt and tie, his hair perfect, and a hint of eyeliner. “Wha…?” Tatsu put his finger to his lips “Sshh”

            “Kou, from the moment I laid eyes on you at the HBG, it’s only been you. Something changed inside me, even on that first night. I remember my first thought was “Holy shit, he’s beautiful” I also remember my second thought “Oh shit, he’s going to pass out!” Koichi giggled “with everything we’ve been through these last six months, the problems with Taka, the well…you know, I’ve never once thought about anything other than being with you. Our relationship time line may seem short to some people, but time is irrelevant.” Koichi almost couldn’t see, for the tears streaming down his cheeks. Then it happened, Tatsu kneeled in front of Koichi, “Baby…I want to spend the rest of our lives together.” Tatsu reached into his suit picket and produced a small box. “Koichi, will you marry me?”

            By this time, both were crying. “YES! OH GOD YES!” Koichi sprang into Tatsu arms, repeating yes over and over. Tatsu had a death grip on his lover, “Um…do you want to see the ring?”  Purred Tatsu into Kou’s ear. “I guess I should, right?” Letting go of Tatsu, Koichi sat down. Tatsu opened the box and presented it to Kou. “It’s beautiful!” A black and silver titanium band with two diamonds. “Do you like it?” Koichi lifted his face.   
“It’s perfect, put it on me?” Taking the ring from the box, Tatsu placed it on Kou’s ring finger. “I love you, Koichi.”

 “I love you so much, Tatsuro.” Koichi giggled at using Tatsu’s full name. They sat in front of the Christmas tree, holding hands, Koichi looking at the ring. “I guess we need to plan something like a wedding?” Tatsu nuzzled Koichi’s hair. “However, you want to do this, you’re in charge.” _Shit, I need to find Tatsu a ring_. Tatsu and Koichi spent a while just holding each other. “We should get to bed, I think Teo is already there. Tired and happy, the couple fell into a deep loving sleep, in each other’s arms.

 

            “EDDY!! That’s not a toy for you!” it was a chaotic Christmas morning for Sato and Taka. Eddy was tearing through the wrapping paper and bubble wrap. “It’s his first Christmas too!” Taka protested. Presents opened, oohs and aahs, at the gifts. “where am I going to wear these leather pants?” Sato perked up when he opened his gift. “Well, I know they’re too hot for on stage…I don’t know, around the flat?” Sato wasn’t sure if he could wear them at all. “Just thinking of leather pants makes me hard! I can’t wear these in public!” Taka was still touching the leather bracelet with the silver O ring, that Sato had bought him. He was sure it had symbolic meaning, but hesitating to ask. “HOLY FUCK!!” Taka screamed. “WHAT?” Sato jumped. Taka was looking at his phone. “Look!” showing the picture to Sato. He whistled, “I knew he was going big…but this is HUGE!” Taka’s phone rang. _“Kou! Really??? Wow!!! Sato saw it and freaked. It’s beautiful, I’m so happy for you guys! It’s amazing!”_

Taka talked to Koichi for a few more minutes before hanging up. “He had on a suit and did the whole bended knee thing!” Sato was watching his boy carefully. “Well, he didn’t tell any of us that he was going to propose, but when he said a big present for Kou, we all figured this must be it.” Taka sighed, “I’m so happy for Kou! He deserves to be happy after everything he’s been through.” _So far so good, he’s taking it better than I thought_.

“Um…shampoo? Cup noodles?” Tatsu was genuinely confused at his gifts. “Open the others, maybe that will help.” Koichi smirked _. He doesn’t remember his list_. Opening his remaining gifts, Tatsu was completely puzzle. “Uh…okay, I get the notebooks, which I love, I love my messenger bag! Same one I saw a while ago.” Looking at Koichi, “You’ll have to explain the rest to me.” Koichi shook his head. “When you gave me your Christmas list, and there wasn’t anything I could buy you, you said you didn’t care. You said, socks, shampoo, red underwear, cup noodles or a vibrator. Thought it made a great stocking stuffer.” Staring at Koichi for a moment, Tatsu threw his head back and laughed. “I can honestly say, these are the weirdest Christmas gifts I’ve ever received! Because they’re from you…I love them!” The remainder of Christmas day, the couple spent relaxing, and talking of wedding plans.

 


	26. Chapter 26

“Tatsu? We got an email from DCR.” Koichi was working in his office when a surprising email came. “So? We get emails from them all the time.” Tatsu was leaning in the doorway, with a cup of tea. “Well, this one involves the HBG. Come look.” Tatsu read the email over Koichi’s shoulder. “Hmm…New Year’s Eve at the HBG, for the bands? Kinda weird, don’t you think?” Koichi wasn’t sure how he felt about it. “Think I should call the owner of the HBG? It is sort of strange considering all that’s happened.” “Hmm…Let me call Miya first. See if he knows anything, don’t RSVP just yet.”

_“Did you see the email? I’ not really happy with this. I’m not sure. Yah, I think we should, see you in a bit.”_

“I called Miya, he doesn’t know anything either but he’s coming by to pick me up, we’re going to the studio to see if we can talk to someone.” Tatsu was worried, for everyone. This just didn’t seem like a good idea on the part of DCR or the owner of the High Ball Garden. “Okay, hopefully you can find something out. I can always try the owner, see if he’ll talk to me.” Both men were apprehensive about the location of the New Year’s Eve party, it just didn’t make sense.

 _“Taka, did you and Sato see the email? Do you want to go? I’ not sure, Tatsu and Miya went to the studio to find out. Okay, I’ll text you._ ”

Tatsu was frustrated, he and Miya had gone to DCR with their concerns about the upcoming New Year’s Eve party that was to be held at the High Ball Garden. “Tadaima, Kou,” Tatsu called out to Koichi, “Okaeri, how did the meeting go? How did this even get planned?” Wrapping his arms around Koichi, kissed his nose. “Miya really didn’t like the idea at all, and he told management as much. You were attacked, Aki and Taka nearly attacked, we explained all this and why we are against it. But this is what they propose to do; make it a private party, with security, and fenced in. The owner of the HBG wants to make amends, he’s offering the patio area, fire pits and a lot of extra lighting, and he will cover the cost for half of the security, and all the alcohol.”

Tatsu looked closely at Koichi, “DCR is handling the food, the other part of security and the fencing around the perimeter of Tokyo Tower. There will be wrist bands color coded, and also all bags will be checked. They’re trying to make this as secure as possible.” Koichi sat back on the couch, saying nothing for a good ten minutes.

“Kou, babe we don’t have to go if you don’t feel safe, that’s fine with me. Or we can go for an hour and leave.” Koichi was still quiet. “Did Miya say he and Shinya would go?”

“Miya said he’d go with Shinya, because Diru will all be there. I’m sure the guys would all go for a bit. Put in an appearance as it were, but if you guys don’t feel safe, we don’t have to go.”

Koichi was silent again, “Can I talk to the others first? Before I decide? I’d like to know what Shinya and Kai want to do. They will probably go, I mean they’re both in bands as well. “Tatsu nodded, “Yes, call them, they may say yes or no, I don’t know what they’ve got planned. Make sure to talk to Taka, if he goes, I’d feel better if you went _.” Crap what the hell should I do_?

“So, are you going to go?” Taka had come over to talk about the party, and see Koichi’s new office set up. “I don’t know, I think it might be fun, it sounds like it will be safe. I’m not sure you should go though.” This surprised Koichi. “Kou, it’s where you…you know. What if you have a flashback or something? I’m not sure what to do honestly. Have you talked to Kai and Shinya?” Koichi nodded, “They’re both going. All of Diru and Gazette will be there.” Sitting quietly, Taka finally decided, “I think we should go! Fuck that asshole! He wouldn’t dare show up with all the security around. It will be fenced as well. Koichi, you need to have a life, we can’t all be worried all the time. Besides, Kyo will be there, and Die, they’re like mini-security all on their own.” Koichi smiled, thankful for his best friend’s support. “Okay, I’ll go. I’m sure it will be fun, if anything, we might witness another Ruki Rampage!”

Mucc decided to arrive En force at the New Year’s Eve party. Kai and Shinya had gone with their respective bands. Arriving at the security gate, each person was searched for weapons and given a bracelet that designated what band they were with, spouses and partners included.

“This seems pretty drastic, doesn’t it? Taka muttered. “Better to be this tight, then let anyone in that shouldn’t be here.” chided Sato. “I’d rather not have to worry about you all night, Pet, or Koichi for that matter. At least we can relax and have some fun.”

Once everyone had arrived, all the security measures in place were forgotten. With the large fire pits and the famous High Ball cocktail keeping everyone warm, the celebratory feeling of the party soon took over. Koichi and Taka were standing new a fire pit when Ruki approached them, “Hello Kou-kun, are you having fun so far? I noticed you’re wearing a ring, are you and Tatsu engaged now? When is the wedding? I want to send a gift, do you know where you’re going to register at?” Ruki barely paused long enough to draw a breath. Just as Koichi was going to answer, Ryo of Girugamesh walked by, “uh,oh.” Koichi muttered under his breath. “Ryo-kun!” Ruki trotted off after the drummer. Taka took one look at Koichi and both burst out laughing. “Ruki Rampage!” they said in unison. “What’s going on Pet?” Sato had come behind Taka and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Oh, Ruki is after Ryo again, that’s all.”  Sato shook his head, “Just stay out of the path both of them.”

Shinya and Kai were flitting around different tables, stopping to talk to Tatsu and Miya. “Hey babe, how’s it going with your guys?” Miya missed sitting with Shinya, but the party was business related. “Tatsu-kun, just a warning, Kyo is in a mood tonight, so be ready for anything, and Die is back him up, he’s been drinking a lot.” Kyo and Die together usually meant trouble, but in a friendly bantering way. “Die too? I know what to expect from Kyo, not so much from Die.” Kai was laughing, “I’ve been on the end of the double team of Kyo and Die, it can be brutal, but it’s all done in fun, just remember that when it happens to you!” Tatsu blew Kai’s warming off. _How band can they really be_?

Sato, Taka and Koichi returned to the table, loaded with plates of food. As the norm, DCR’s catering was superb. “This is awesome!” Taka was chowing down like he was starving. “What? You don’t like my cooking, Pet?” Sato tried to pout, failing epically. The excellent food was complimented by the famous High Ball cocktail. Miya was in personal heaven, leaning back and looking up at Tokyo Tower, “Too cloudy to see the top.” He said to no one.

DCR management and the owner of the HBG stood near the middle of the patio area, setting up for a short speech. DCR thanking the bands for the effort put forth and the wish for a successful New Year. There was applause and cheering. When the owner of the HBG got ready to speak, it got very quiet. He spoke of the troubles, making sure not to bring any specifics for privacy, although everyone knew who he was referring to. He spoke about the community of musicians and their support of each other. The closure of the HBG, and the police investigation, he remained serious throughout his speech. He assured the community that he stood by them 100%, and would do whatever it took to assist in any way he could, and that keeping the HGB closed, was not an issue. He thanked everyone for their attendance and bowed deeply, to the assembled crowd. It was silent for a moment, then one by one, everyone the applause started, loudly. The HBG was a tourist destination, but it was also a part of the entire community.

After the speeches, the part ramped up. It was close to 11pm, plenty of time for mischief. Taka, Sato, Koichi and Tatsu were sitting at the table, talking quietly, when the chief trouble makers arrived, one very drunk Die and one very sober Kyo. Pulling up chairs, Die sat behind Taka, and Kyo sat behind Koichi. While Sato just raised an eyebrow, Tatsu covered his eyes and groaned.

“Hello Kou-kun, having fun with that asshole?” Koichi giggled at first. “So far, yes I am.” Koichi looked at Tatsu, but caught a glimpse of Sato’s face, first turning white, then a deep red. Koichi looked at Taka, Die was whispering something in Taka’s ear. “Kyo, take Die and go back to your own table please.” Tatsu knew this would end badly if the two other musicians didn’t leave soon. Whatever Die was saying to Taka was making him giggle. Sato was turning redder by the second, but Taka didn’t seem to notice. “Daisuke!” growled Sato. “Uh, oh, he used my real name! Just having fun Sato-kun, you know, whatever Kyo does, I like to join him. So, that means if Kyo takes Koichi away from Tatsu, well, Taka is Koichi’s best friend, I figure I’ll steal him away from you!  
 Tatsu had his head in his hands. Sato had gotten up from his chair, Taka saw the look on Sato’s face, and instantly paled. _Shit! This isn’t good, he doesn’t think this is funny_!

Just as it looked like it was going to get physical, someone snarled. “DAISUKE! TOORU!! GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE, NOW!” Koichi turned to see who had the balls to order Kyo and Die around like that. “Sato-san, Tatsu-san, my apologies for my band mates apparent lack of good manners.” Kaoru and Toshiya both stepped up to the table. “Kyo knows when to quit, Daisuke has had way too much to drink and has lost his common sense.” Glaring at his band mates, Kaoru bowed again, pushing Kyo and smacking Die in the back of the head, Toshiya apologizing further, “I’m sorry guys, really. Die shouldn’t drink and Kyo knows that. Again, we apologize.” Toshiya then went back to the Diru table. “ASSHOLES! Really? You pick those two boys to play with?” The group could hear Kaoru tearing into his band mates as they walked to their table.

“I was so close to kicking Die’s ass! TAKA! You and I are going have a little talk later.” Sato was pissed off, Taka knew he was in trouble. Koichi mouthed ‘sorry’ to Tatsu. He knew Kyo was only playing…well he was pretty sure…maybe…shit! Miya said nothing, assuming Kyo and Die were, in fact, just playing around. Dir En Grey knew the situation with Koichi and now that he and Tatsu were engaged, they should know better than to tease them if front of Tatsu and Sato. Miya sighed, knowing that some never grew up.


	27. Chapter 27

“I’m cold!” Taka was not happy with the current weather situation. Tokyo truly never has extreme cold in winter, but Taka felt like whining. “Put a hoodie on Pet. Stop whining.” Sato was frustrated with Taka. After the New Year’s Eve episode with Kyo and Die, and the talk they had, both men were on edge. Sato had demanded to know what Die had said that made Taka laugh. “It wasn’t anything serious! He just said that if Kyo would steal Koichi away, I had to come with him and…um…we could have like a 4-way thing. He was just playing! I never took any of it seriously.”  Sato was not amused with the incident. He felt extremely protective of Taka and the teasing had created a tense atmosphere at home. The rest of the party had gone well, everyone kissing at midnight, and thankfully, no Ruki Rampage.

Taka was a bit subdued these last two weeks. He had really enjoyed the party, and if he was honest with himself, the incident with Die…he had lied to Sato about what Die had said, mostly to keep the peace. In fact, Taka had become aroused when Die whispered in his ear. There was an instant thrill, even if it wasn’t true, that anyone else other than Sato found him attractive.

 _“Mm…I think I’d get the better part of the deal if you left Sato, Koichi’s cute, but you’re amazing. I can picture you naked on my bed, tied up and hard. I’d love to fuck you into the mattress. If you ever get bored with Sato, you know where to find me._ ”

This felt like Die was confessing to Taka. Making matters worse, Die had licked Tata’s ear, just before Kaoru came to the table. Thankfully, Sato had not witnessed that, Taka had grimaced at the thought of what would have, if Sato had seen it. The sound of Die’s voice, telling Taka what he wanted to do to him, those whispers when straight to his cock. All of these conflicting feelings had Taka on edge, which made Sato grumpy as well. But Taka didn’t feel like he could talk to anyone about it, not even Koichi, he didn’t know what he was feeling _. This fucking sucks_.

Tatsu decided that with the start of cold weather, naps were in order every day. Koichi was in his office, working on finding venues in America, most recently in the state of Colorado. He really enjoyed his work, an opportunity to be connected with the outside world, but still feel somewhat safe. It was just a bonus that he was paid for his work. “Tatsu?” Koichi wanted a professional opinion on a venue. With no answer from Tatsu, Koichi went into the living room, finding Tatsu and Teo, napping on the couch together. Not wanting to wake the two sleepers, Koichi went back into his office. “I’ll just email DCR, they’ll have an opinion.” Opening his email, he finds something addressed to “Kou-Kun”, but the sender’s email was just a long sequence of random numbers and letters. Normally he wouldn’t open an email such as this, but with the subject of ‘Kou-kun’, it had to be from someone he knew.

 _“Kou-kun, it was so lovely to see you again. I’ve missed seeing you, these last few months. We must meet, and pick up from where we left off the last time we met. I look forward to seeing you again. And tell those friends of yours to stop meddling in our relationship, someone may end up hurt._ ”

 

Koichi started to shake, tears started forming behind his eyes. FUCK! What do I do now? Ignore it and hope that whomever this is, just lets it drop? Stay home forever so no one else gets hurt? Tell Tatsu? Tell the police? SHIT! What do I do?

Koichi couldn’t think straight, he couldn’t decide on his own, but who should he tell? He sat the, in front of his computer, re-reading the email. He didn’t know how long it had been until Tatsu came into his office, followed by Teo, both of them stretching and yawing. “Kou, what do you want for dinner?” Koichi didn’t hear him the first time he spoke. “Kou?...Kou, what’s wrong?” Tatsu touched Koichi’s shoulder, startling him out of his haze. “Oh, I didn’t hear you come in…what did you say?” _This isn’t normal, what has him all spaced out_? Tatsu leaned over the back of Koichi’s chair, and hugged him, “Asked you what you…” Tatsu stopped, spotting the email that was still pulled up on Koichi’s computer.

            “What the fuck is this? When did you get this? Kou! Answer me!” Tatsu had rolled Koichi’s chair away from the computer, reading the email. Tears where now falling silenty, Koichi just looking at Tatsu. “Don’t touch this again, don’t touch the computer!” Tatsu ran and grabbed his phone.

_“Detective Aoyama? It’s Tatsuro, Koichi just got an email, it’s from the rapist, no, it’s still pulled up on this computer, okay see you in a bit.”_

“Aoyama will be here soon.” Turning to look at Koichi, Tatsu saw the return of the wild eyes filled with tears, on a very pale, and beautiful face. Koichi still had not spoken since he received the email. “Kou? Honey are you okay?” Koichi slowly looked up, gazing at Tatsu, he shook his head.

“How?” Tatsu squatted down next to the chair and hugged Koichi. “I don’t know baby, but you’re safe with me right now.” Tatsu continued to hold Koichi until he heard the doorbell.

 

“Thanks for coming so quickly, Detective.” Nodding, Tatsu took him to Koichi’s office. “Hello, Koichi. Let me see what you have.” Tatsu moved another chair to in front of the computer.

“Koichi, what were you doing before you got this?” In a very shaky voice, Koichi explained his work, what he does for DCR. “I was just checking my email, it was in the inbox.” Aoyama backed out of the message and poked around Koichi’s email server. “He’s using random numbers and letters as his address, it will make it more difficult but not impossible to trace.” Aoyama had Koichi print a copy of the email, and he also put the server information on a thumb drive. “I’ll take this to our tech guy and see what we can find. In the future, could you open your email on your laptop? If we need to, we can take it in to search through it.”

Tatsu walked Aoyama to the door. “Thanks detective, let’s hope your tech guy can come up with something.” Tatsu went back into the office, finding Koichi still sitting in his chair. “Hey, baby, why don’t I order in dinner and you go take a hot bath, get in those fluffy pajamas, the one’s with chickens on them.” Koichi got up, “They’re doves, not chickens.” He said absentmindedly.  “Okay, the dove pajamas, whatever, go take a bath.”

Koichi went into the bathroom, he felt like he was moving in slow motion, in a daze almost. _How did he find me? How did he get my email_?

While Koichi was in the bath, Tatsu called Sato _. “Can you bring Taka and Eddy over right now? Something’s come up. Yah, I’m ordering dinner too, Okay, thanks_.”

Tatsu ordered dinner for four and got the dinner table ready. “Why four places, are we expecting someone?” Koichi had finished his bath, had his _chicken_ pajamas on. “Taka said Eddy was lonely, so I invited them for dinner, is that okay?” Koichi made a non-specific noise, as he sat on the couch. As Tatsu busied himself in the kitchen, Koichi was silent, lost in thoughts of dread and worry. “He’s going to find out where I live…where everyone lives…” he murmured. “Kou! No, he’s not! Aoyama and Fujioka will get him first, nobody else will get hurt, including you.” Tatsu kissed the top of Koichi’s head, and turned away.

 

Taka and Sato had just left, and Koichi was almost asleep on the couch. The visit had little effect on Koichi, no matter how hard they tried to be positive. Eddy and Teo gave then all plenty of entertainment, racing around like mad fiends, but even their antics only resulted in small smiles from Koichi. So instead of pushing the issue, the friends had a quiet dinner, with Koichi barely eating. Sato had offered to help clean up, so he could speak with Tatsu. “No shit? How the fuck did he get Kou’s email address?” Tatsu shrugged, “I don’t know, but Kou hasn’t said twenty words since this afternoon. He’s been in a daze really. I called Aoyama, he came over and took a copy of the email and did something with a thumb drive.” They both looked over to the couch. Koichi had his head on Taka’s shoulder, both watching something on TV. “I guess I could bring Taka over tomorrow.”  Tatsu shook his head, “I want to see how he is in the morning, if he wants to work or anything else. Let’s keep Taka and Eddy in reserve, in case he doesn’t snap out of it.”

Sitting on the couch with Koichi, Tatsu makes an attempt, “So, what do you have scheduled in for tomorrow? Or can you take part of the day to spend with me?” Koichi sighed heavily. “I don’t have anything that’s important due tomorrow, why…did you want to do something?” Figuring this was the perfect chance, Tatsu went for it. “Well, we do have to start planning, even though we don’t have a date set.” Koichi was puzzled, “Date for what?” Tatsu looked slightly hurt, “Um…OUR wedding?” Koichi blanched, “Oh shit! I’m sorry, I didn’t forget I promise! When do you want to have the ceremony and where?” With no hesitation, Tatsu had the answers to both questions “If’ it’s okay with you, Valentine’s Day, at the restaurant.”

“But that’s not even a month away! Can we plan one that quick?” Koichi loved the idea of a Valentine’s Day wedding, but could they pull it all off in time. “Guest list; your parents? My parents, anyone from DCR, Taka of course. Who else is there?” Shaking his head, Koichi shut down two people off the list, “Not my parents. No. I haven’t spoken to them in years, I have no siblings. Your parents?” Tatsu laughed, “If my parents come, they’re going to want to style everyone’s hair, my two brothers probably won’t come, so how about we just invite our friends? Would probably be easier, then we don’t have any awkward moments, Kyo might ask my father about his asshole son!” Koichi had to chuckle over the vision of Tatsu’s dad and Kyo speaking to each other. As they talked about the wedding, Tatsu could see Koichi start to relax. By the time they went to bed, Tatsu felt that his adorable Kou had returned.

“What colors should we have?” Tatsu and Koichi had a large notebook in front of them on the dinner table. “Um…black and red…dark red?” Koichi wrote it down in the book. “Valentine’s Day, appropriate colors!” With the pencil tip on his chin, Koichi pondered what else they needed. “Flowers? Like just nice small arrangements on the tables?” Tatsu nodded, “Guest list…who do we invite, or don’t invite?” They both agreed on management from DCR, the marketing team, but when it came to the bands, it got tough. “Diru and Gazette for sure. Girugamesh, Sakurai-san, and whomever he wants to bring.” Koichi was making another list. “Do we invite Umbrella? I know we don’t know them well, I’m sure they’d understand, it’s going to be a tiny wedding.” Tatsu put his hand up, “I say, outside of Diru, Gazette, Girugamesh, Acchan and the crew, I say we’re set. It’s under fifty people, so that’s about what the restaurant can handle. So, are we set on a date? I need to call and talk to the management at the restaurant.” Koichi stood up and reached around Tatsu. “I’m so fucking happy right now, I can’t wait for this!” Titling his face up, Koichi demanded to be kissed properly.

“Taka, whatever you do, do NOT talk to either Kyo or Die at the wedding…please! I don’t need Sato going ballistic all over Die.” Taka secretly couldn’t wait to see Die. “I won’t, I’m sure he won’t even talk to me, it’s not like I asked him to talk to me last time.” The wedding was a week away and Koichi was getting nervous. Taka had come over to deliver Tatsu’s ring, the two friends talking about wedding day jitters. “Shinya told me that Kaoru has already talked to both Die and Kyo about being on their best behavior, so I don’t think there will be any problems, I hope.” Taka really was anxious to see Die at the wedding, still wondering if what he had said at the New Year’s Eve party, was just part of a game. “You know, we invited Sakurai-san and a guest, wonder who he’ll bring?” They sat in silence for a moment, “OH! What if he brings Yoshiki!”

“Um…I doubt that highly.” Snorted Koichi. “He’s really good friends with Issay, from Der Zibet, but I think he’ll come alone.” Taka and Koichi spent the next hour, creating non-existent partners for Sakurai. “Oh shit! Sato’s here. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Taka’s phone was buzzing and he was out the door.


	28. Chapter 28

The ceremony itself was brief, just the couple, Sato and Taka, with a Buddhist Monk giving the vows. Then they entered the dining room, to applause and cheers. Tatsu spoke, thanked everyone, and then gave the order to party!  The restaurant went all out, the food was amazing, as was the champagne. It wasn’t every day that one of their favorite customers got married.

Surprisingly everyone was on their best behavior. There was no Ruki Rampage. Instead Ruki went to their table. “I’m jealous, Kou-kun, you have your knight. I know he will keep you safe.” Glaring at Tatsu, “Isn’t that right, Tatsuro?” Smiling at the small man, Tatsu assured him, “Yes Ruki, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” Ruki turned back to Koichi, “We have a weird bond, you and I, we have a common bond, but it goes beyond that. I love you, Kou-Kun.” Ruki ran around the table and grabbed Koichi out of his chair, hugging him tightly. “I love you too, Ruki. You’re very special to me as well. Thank you.” Tatsu was still smiling, “You know, I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to him confessing to you every time you two meet.” Koichi stuck out his tongue at his new husband, “You’re just jealous.”

Tatsu started to say something back, when Kyo walked up. “Guess I’m out of luck, you win Tatsu. Koichi, if this asshole is ever mean to you, just call me.” Kyo winked at both of them. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m very happy for you both. Tatsu, he’s way too cute for you, but I’m so very happy you found someone, I really am.” Tatsu looked at Kyo, “Thanks, it means a lot to me, when you say you’re happy for me. But he’s mine forever, so go find your own super cute boy.”

Throughout the night, people stopped by Tatsu and Koichi’s table, giving them congratulations. Sato and Taka were walking around talking to different people, eating and drinking.  Koichi was talking to Shinya, “What’s it really like Shinya? Is it really any different than just living with him?” Koichi had wondered if the dynamic of a relationship changes once someone gets married, not that he was overly concerned, he just wanted some reassurance. “It does change, Kou-kun, for the better, at least it did for us. Not that there was any doubt before, Miya and I are committed to each other in every way. You and Tatsu already have that bond, but the rings, they really do make a difference.” Shinya and Koichi continued to talk, Shinya giving the younger man some sage advice.

Taka was on his way to getting drunk. He tried to be near Sato, but he was involved with Kai and Ryo, talking drums. Tatsu and Miya looked like they were in a serious discussion and Kou was talking to Shinya. Taka was feeling a little left out, and as a result, started to drink a bit more than he was equipped to handle. He was sitting at a table alone, needing to use the bathroom, he got up and weaved his way out of the main room. Finding the bathroom, Taka stood in front of a urinal, one hand on the wall to steady himself, with his eyes close, he didn’t notice someone walk in. “Mmm…Taka-kun, I haven’t gotten to talk to you tonight.” Die had come in, standing behind Taka, he purred into his ear. “Oh, my, you’re just so delicious, I would love to talk to you tonight, mostly about how much I want to just ram my cock up your ass and having you screaming my name, would you like that Taka-kun?” Taka was drunk enough that the words being purred into his ear, went straight to his dick. “Um…yes…uhng!” he whispered. “Let me touch you, Taka-kun, I want to feel how hot and burning you are.” Just as Die started to reach around to grab Taka’s cock, Taka pushed his hand away, zipping up, he fled the bathroom.

Entering the dining room, Taka searched for Sato, “Where? Where?” Finally spotting his lover talking with Yukke, Taka walked quickly over to where they were standing. “Hello, Pet. Where were you?” Taka just behind Sato, “I had to use the bathroom, Umm, I’m not feeling well, could we go home please?” Staring at Taka, Sato noticed he was flushed and shaking. “What’s wrong, Taka…” Yukke looked at Taka as well, “You don’t look well, Taka-kun.” Taka looked at his feet. “Uh…I just drank a little too much.” Sato knew alcohol was a red flag for Taka. “Yukke, could you let Tatsu and Koichi know we left, please?” Yukke nodded, “Of course, take him home.” Yukke walked over to the wedding table, letting them know the situation, both of them, understood completely.

“I hope that Taka is okay, do you know why they left?” Koichi was concerned. “I think he had way too much to drink, and you know his issues with alcohol.” The couple was getting ready to leave the party, the guests were starting to depart as well. Ruki ran up and hugged Koichi again, giving Tatsu a stern look as well. Kyo and Die were right behind Koichi and Tatsu, whispering. Koichi thought he heard something about Taka, and looking back, Die, immediately stopped talking, smiling sweetly, but fake, at Koichi, which gave him pause.

Getting in the car, Koichi was more tired than he realized, the stress of the party, over. “Tired Kou?” Tatsu smiled as his new husband. “Yes…bone tired. Weddings take a lot of out you, don’t they?” It was like any other normal night coming home, Teo running in to great them and then screaming for food. Koichi went into the bathroom, and got ready for bed. “Kou, I’m sorry, I’m like way too tired to have official wedding night sex.” Koichi laughed, “I was just going to say the same thing, I’m too damned tired for anything but sleep.” With that point driven home, the newly married coupe jumped into bed, snuggling down into the covers. Koichi called for Teo, who ran in and with a flying leap, landed in the middle of the bed. Burrowing down between them, the little family settled in, sleep being the major player in their wedding night.

 


	29. Keep Me Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I purposely am being vague and not authentic as far as the BSDM scene goes. I'd rather keep it light, as it's not a huge part of the Chronicles.

The valet brought Sato’s car around, Taka leaped into the passenger seat. “Pet, are you okay? Did something else happen?” Taka looked out his window, he saw Die by the front door, watching the car pull away. Taka swore he saw Die waving. “No, I just had too much champagne, I’m not used to drinking it.” _What the fuck am I doing? But fuck, his voice made me hard…_

Taka closed his eyes, pretending to sleep, he could tell Sato was looking over at him. _Should I fuck him when we get home? Why does it have to be Die? Why would I leave Sato over this? Fuck, he made me so hard_!

“Pet, we’re home.” Sato gently shook his boy. Taka jerked awake, “NO, I swear I didn’t let him…”

“Woah! Taka, it’s okay, we’re home!” Sato was now very confused, “Let’s get you upstairs and to bed.”

Once Sato opened the front door, Taka rushed in and ran to the bathroom, locking the door. _What the fuck am I doing? He’s going to figure it out! I have to do something_!

“Taka, Pet are you okay?” was he getting sick? He didn’t really hear anything. “Uh…I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay, yell if you need me.” Sato busied himself with feeding a screaming Eddy. Hearing a noise, he turns to see Taka looking at him oddly.

“Taka, baby, what is wrong? You’ve been out of sorts since we left the party.” Sato sat at the table, “come here, Taka, talk to me, please.” Taka shuffled over and stood next to Sato.” Well? What is it? We promised not to hide things from each other…” Taka shifted from foot to foot. “Um…do you love me?” he asked in a very small voice. This made Sato sit back, “Of course I do! How could ever doubt that?”

“Do you love me enough to keep me…forever?” Here’s the keep thing again. “Yes, Taka. I love you enough to keep you forever.” Taka raised his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Will you collar me, or marry me or brand me…I don’t care…Just show me you’ll keep me forever!” Sato’s eyes widened, “Is this because of the wedding?” Taka shook his head back and forth, tears flying.

“Then what is it? Tell me why you always ask if I will keep you!” Taka stood there, weighing his options. Grabbing Sato’s hand, he pulled him to the couch. “Please…don’t say anything until I’m done.” Sato nodded.

“When I left home for university, I first lived in the dorms. I had a roommate, who I got along well with, or at least I thought we got along. Halfway through the first semester, he left. Rumors were that he thought I was a freak, which I interpreted as it was because of the way I looked. This happened twice more in the first year, that’s when I found my own apartment. It was easier to live by myself. When I got my job at the HBG, I was happier than I’d been since leaving home. I’d been at the HBG for about six months, when I met a guy.  We dated, he was older, worked in an office, the whole adult life.” Taka took a deep breath. “This guy got me into the scene, just little stuff, nothing serious, no violence or severe punishment. I really liked this guy, he was good to me. He said he wanted to collar me, and keep me forever. He was going to buy us a house…” Sato was holding his breath, worried about where this was going. “He eventually told me he was in love with me. Sato! I was so happy! I thought I had my life! Then one weekend, we drove out to some estate, way outside the city.

He told me it was a party, the host had room for everyone to spend the night. It started out like a regular party, good food, alcohol, the owner had hired musicians, it was very classy. I was given a lot of sake and some other drinks, pretty sure the drinks had drugs in them. I remember sitting with my master, then a vague memory of being in a very hot bath, like an onsen.” Sato was holding Taka’s hand, it was sweaty and clammy, but he kept holding it.

“When I finally had a clear mind, I opened my eyes, but someone had put a blindfold on me. I tried to move, but there were restraints, tight ones. I was naked, ball gag in my mouth. I felt something cold on my chest, then a pinch on my nipple. My master took my blindfold off. He kissed my cheek and told me to lay still. I felt another pinch on my dick, then someone’s mouth. I raised my head a little, there were all these old guys sitting around me. It took me a minute to figure it out.” Taka looked down into his lap. “I was being used as _Nantaimori_ , old guys were eating food off me! They kept pinching me with chopsticks, sucking my cock, biting me everywhere. I started to cry, my master came over and slapped me, he’d never hit me in the face before.”

“After the food was gone, my master let the old guys do whatever they wanted to me. They loosened my restraints and stuck a pillow under my ass, so they could all fuck me!” Sato was crying, “Oh, god, no...” Taka nodded. “This went on all night. At the end, my master took me into a bathroom and turn a hose on me, with cold water. He then threw me into a little room, just with old tatami on the floor. He came back like hours later, told me to get cleaned up. I thought we were leaving! Instead some teyu started washing me, they made me look like an oiran!”

Sato had pulled his boy into his arms, holding him, rocking him slowly. “Basically, after I was presented to the old men, they all just fucked the shit out of me. My master wasn’t even in the room. By the time dinner was served, they just left me in that room. I waited, not knowing what to do. Nobody came for me so I got up, and found a bathroom and took a hot bath. I was so sore, bit up, I had a tear that was bleeding, and all I could do was just sit there. I looked around after my bath, I found my clothes and got dressed and waited. I didn’t know what else to do. I saw a server and asked her if my master was still there, she said no, and then handed me a letter. It was from my master, telling me not to contact him again. That after being nantaimori and an oiran, he wasn’t going to keep me, that I was a worthless piece of shit, that no one would ever keep. I had no way home, but one of the oiran gave me money for the train, she even apologized. Isn’t that funny?”

Taka had slid down and now had his head in Sato’s lap. He’d finally stopped crying, but the damage was done, his face was swollen and red. “Let’s stop for tonight, I don’t want you all torn up when we decide what to do next.” Sato picked up Taka and put him in the bed. Changing into sleep pants, by the time he crawled into bed, Taka was asleep and Eddy had burrowed under his chin. Looking down at his boy, Sato sighed. “Of course, I’ll keep you…forever. I love you so much.” He kissed Taka on the cheek and pulled him into his arms.

Sato and Taka slept late into the morning. Sato only getting roused by a hungry kitten. “Okay, you little turd, I’ll get up.” Swinging his legs out of bed, he paused. Looking over his shoulder at his sleeping boy, he sighed. _What can I do for him_? Getting up, Sato prepared for a long day.  

 

 “Good morning, Kou!” Tatsu nuzzled his new husband, whispering in his ear, “would you like your tea in bed?” Koichi mumbled as he stretched and yawned, “mm…that would be nice. Do I have to get out of bed today? They were both tired, the excitement of the wedding and the party, drained the couple the night before, leaving for a lazy feel for the day. “We can say in bed today, if that’s what you want, or we can get up and open wedding gifts and plan a short honeymoon.” The mention of a honeymoon surprised Koichi, “We’re going on a honeymoon? Seriously?” Smiling, Tatsu nodded. “We’re newlyweds, aren’t we? So, why shouldn’t we have the traditional moments? We cut the cake, we had a nice reception, we skipped the wedding night, but it’s not like either one of us were virgins, so what’s left on the list is the honeymoon.”

Koichi sat up in bed. “Where did you have in mind?” Tatsu walked away, “Let me get our tea first, then we can look. I’ll grab the laptop.” Koichi lay back in bed, blissfully happy _. How can all of this even be real? I’m fucking married to a man I saw performing in a music video_.

“What are you thinking about?” Tatsu handed Koichi his tea, “Just how strange and wonderful my life has been since I met you. I think it’s not real sometimes. The first time I ever saw you was in music video, I um…even jerked off to your voice. Now I’m lying in bed with you…married to you! It’s so surreal, sometimes I’m not sure it’s real.”

Leaning over, Tatsu kissed Koichi tenderly. “The feeling is mutual, I’m the luckiest guy I know, I met a super cute boy at a cocktail bar, that almost fainted on me, now I’m married to him.” Koichi threw a pillow at him. “But I’m serious! My life is so… I don’t know, weird!” Putting down his tea, Tatsu stretched out over the length of his new husband, with a wicked grin on his face. “So, being married to me is weird? Is that how you feel? Well, I’ll show you weird!” With that, Tatsu grabbed the front of Koichi’s pajama top, pulled it up and started to blow raspberries on Koichi’s stomach, which caused him to scream, “Noooo not fair...hahaha!!! ticklllesss,hahahnoooo, stoppphahha!”

After the five- minute raspberry tickle session, the couple got back to business on the laptop, looking for honeymoon destinations. “This is going to be harder than I thought, I don’t even know where I want to go.” Koichi whined. “What about flying somewhere? The UK? Los Angeles, New York?” Koichi hesitated for a moment. “Do you have enough time before the spring tour?” Picking up his phone, Tatsu started looking at dates.

Koichi was paging through websites when his phone buzzed. “Unknown Name” flashed on the caller ID. “Hmm…” Opening the phone and reading the text, Koichi gasps loudly and drops his phone. “Kou! What’s wrong?” Koichi’s speechless, he points at his phone. Tatsu picks up and starts swearing, MOTHER FUCKER!!!

                                    _“Hey, slut, don’t think you’re special because you_

 _married him. You’re still a cock teasing whore._ ”

“How did he get my number? Why is he…” Tatsu was already calling Detective Aoyama,

 _“AOYAMA! HE’S FUCKING TEXTING KOICHI! FUCK YOU! DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW!_ ”

“Kou, stay here, give me your phone.” Tatsu left the bedroom, calling Sato, “You and Taka need to get over here now, call the others.” Slamming his phone shut, he started pacing. “Tatsu…I want to be in here …with you.” Koichi sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, with Teo. “He’s not getting near you, Kou, I promise.” Ten minutes later, Sato and Taka arrived, followed shortly by the others. “I want you guys here, Aoyama is on his way.” Taka sat with Koichi, “Taka, he texted me…” Koichi said in a small voice. “What the fuck, Tatsu, how?” Miya was pissed, swearing under his breath Shinya had sat down with Koichi, Yukke and Kai were trying to get Tatsu to calm down. A knock at the door, had Tatsu throwing it open. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS?” Tatsu’s anger caused Aoyama to step back slightly. “Where is the phone?” Ignoring Tatsu, Aoyama collected the phone from Koichi.

“When did you receive the text?” Tatsu, a little more in control, stood near the couch, “About 20 minutes ago, maybe.” Aoyama read the text, “When were you married?” “Yesterday afternoon, at 5pm.” Shinya had answered, Koichi had his face buried in the older man’s shoulder. “I need the guest list, who the official was, and the locations.” Koichi raised his head, “You really don’t believe it was one of our friends, do you?” Looking at the group, Aoyama sighed, “I don’t make assumptions anymore, Koichi, you have to eliminate everyone. In your case, because you’re now married to Tatsu, it can be a deranged fan, someone that has felt slighted in some way, or a completely random person, I don’t know. I’ll take your phone and again, give it to our specialists. I’m sorry not to have anything more for you.” Aoyama let himself out.

“Do you remember seeing anyone that wasn’t supposed to be there? Anyone we might have missed or looked out of place.” They all shook their heads, “Tatsu, you know the reputation of the restaurant, shit that’s why we go there!” Kai couldn’t believe it was anyone they knew. Sighing heavily, Tatsu sat down next to Kai, “I know Kai, this asshole couldn’t be anyone we know, I still think it’s connected to the HBG.”

They all sat in silence, each person trying to come to terms with what was happening, to one of their own. “Do you need anything Tatsu-kun? If not, I think we should give the newlyweds their space. Call any of us if you need us.” Shinya kissed Koichi and ushered the others out.

“Well, that fucking ruined our morning.” Growled Tatsu. “We don’t have to let it!” Koichi was smiling. “Did you see how quickly our friends showed up? Even Detective Aoyama was here fairly quick. And shame on you for screaming like a fish wife at Detective Aoyama!” Koichi was embarrassed at Tatsu’s screaming, even though he understood why. “They fucking piss me off! Nothing is being done!” snarled Tatsu, as he sulked on the couch. Koichi decided to ignore his grumpy husband.

“I need to get the information together for Detective Aoyama, do you want to help or are you going to sulk all day?” Koichi stood with his hands on his hips, waiting for Tatsu to answer, and when none came, Koichi went into his office. “Guest list, monk’s name, restaurant.” Koichi was typing up a list to email the police.

“Might as well address thank you cards while I have the guest list up.” It took Koichi roughly an hour to finish his work. Grabbing the pile of thank you cards, he returned to the living room, only to find Tatsu and Teo together on the couch, sleeping.

 _“Yes, the guest list and the other info you requested are all in the attachment. Well, he’s been under a lot of stress, I apologize for him screaming at you. Yes, I know he does, that’s why he’s stressed. Alright, Thank you detective_.”

Koichi was startled as he turned around, finding Tatsu standing in the doorway of his office. “Don’t sneak up on me!” chided Koichi. “You were apologizing for me?” Koichi turned back to his computer. “Yes, I did. You were an asshole towards the Detective, and you’re not usually an asshole. But when you are an asshole, you can be a huge asshole.” Tatsu couldn’t see Koichi’s face, which bore a twisted smile. “Is this how our marriage is going to be? You just called me an asshole four times in less than a minute.” Tatsu had quietly walked up behind Koichi chair. “Do you really think I’m an asshole?” Tatsu purred in Koichi’s ear. “Would you like me to show you how much of an asshole I am? Mm?”

That low purring voice, sent electric shocks through Koichi’s body. “Um…yes please…” Tatsu reached over Koichi’s shoulders and ran his hand down the front of Kou’s shirt, rubbing his chest softly, ghosting over both nipples. Koichi shivered with anticipation, “Um… can we…um.” Mewled Koichi. “No, I think we’ll do this right here, just for fun. Leaning over the back of Koichi’s char, Tatsu pulled his shirt off, stopping to lick Kou’s neck. “Mm… you taste so sweet.” Turning the chair to face him, Tatsu kneeled down in front of Koichi, “Do you want to play with me?” Kou just nodded, sliding his hands to cup Tatsu’s face, “please…kiss…” before he could finish the words, Tatsu’s mouth was on his, trying to overwhelm his new husband with his kiss. Sucking on his lower lip, Tatsu moans in Kou’s mouth, “Um...fuck... you’re just so fucking…sexy, Kou.” Tatsu’s hands slide down Koichi’s lean soft body, grabbing his nipple, with his teeth, biting the skin on his collar bone, marking HIS boy.

“Touch me…please…now!” Koichi begged. Tatsu reached for the ties on Koichi’s track pants, untying it slowly, running his thumbs in the waist band, teasing. Koichi whimpers, rubbing his own crotch, enticing Tatsu to touch him. Tatsu kisses him, dancing his tongue over Koichi’s lips, all the while, slowly stroking Kou’s cloth covered cock. “Take them off, please…” Tatsu runs his thumbs inside the pants, gently pulling them off. As Koichi’s cock is released, it springs up, a drop of pre-cum just sitting on the edge. Tatsu takes his finger and runs the drop of pre-cum all over the head of Koichi’s cock, causing a small arching of Kou’s back. “Please…Tatsu, don’t tease me anymore…” The sight of Koichi’s face, flushed with heat and arousal, was pure beauty to Tatsu, moaning, he slides his mouth over the top of Kou’s cock. Lifting his mouth just a little, Tatsu breaths hot air over the head, “You taste like heaven to me, Kou. I want to be nowhere else in this life, then with you.” Koichi fisted Tatsu’s long hair, pushing his mouth down onto his cock, “Tatsu…I need to…”

Tatsu starts to lick and kiss Kou’s length, rubbing his palm over the head, smearing the pre-cum, “don’t stop…so damn good.” Mewled Koichi. “Oh, I’m not going to stop baby.” Tatsu’s other hand was shoved deep into his own shorts, pulling, teasing his own cock. “Kou, I love you baby,” Deciding that Kou had waited long enough, Tatsu started to bob his head, sucking, swirling his tongue over the head of Kou’s cock, forcing his tongue into the slit. At the same time, he was stroking his own hardness, fondling his balls, sliding his finger back to tease his prostate.

Tatsu attacked Kou’s cock, wiggling his tongue, sucking, slow rakes of his teeth over the sensitive head. Kou had his head back, moaning, whimpering, pleading for Tatsu to let him cum. With a final onslaught of sucking and pulling, Koichi arched his back, “Uh…yes! Please…yes… Tatsu!” Koichi shoved Tatsu’s head down over his cock, thrusting it deep as he could get it, holding Tatsu in place, he released his load, Tatsu getting his fill.

            Tatsu leaned back on one arm, his fist jerking his cock in a frenzied moment, “Uhgh, Kou! Iku…shit baby!” Tatsu released into his own hand. “Oh, gods… Kou.” Tatsu fell backwards, laying on the floor of Koichi’s office, hand full of cum. Koichi had not moved, he was still feeling the orgasm afterglow.

            The couple gave themselves a few moments, trying to breath normally again, trying to focus. “Um, what the hell was that all about? My office?” Koichi giggled at Tatsu, who was still lying on the floor, with a handful of his own cum. Tatsu grinned, “It sounded like a good idea to me, so I just went with it. What? Didn’t you like it? You sure seemed to be enjoying it.” Koichi laughed, getting up and pulling up his track pants, running to get a wet cloth for Tatsu to clean up with. “No, it was amazing! Very kinky, well, kinky for me at least. I know I’m not the most exciting fuck you’ve ever had, but I’m willing to learn, and practice…a lot.” Kou was blushing.

 “Baby, it has nothing to do with kink, or experience or anything else. It all has to do with who I’m with, and that’s you. I don’t care about experience, honestly. I care about making you feel good, and in turn, you make me feel fucking amazing. Don’t ever second guess our sex life, okay? Just enjoy it.” Tatsu had gotten up and was hugging Koichi, kissing him. “I love you, Kou…you know that right? You’re the most important thing in the world to me, and I’m going to spend my whole life showing you that.” Koichi giggled, “Showing me, how? Fucking me to death? Oh, will you buy me a pony! That will show me how much you love me! And a mini-pig, okay… maybe not a mini-pig, but something else small!” Looking at the smile on Koichi’s face, Tatsu hugged him, tight, picking him and swinging him around. “You’re such a dork! Oh, and No, I won’t buy you a pony. And definitely not a mini-pig.” Koichi decided to try to pout, but Tatsu just rolled his eyes.

 

            Shinya was pissy, no other way to put it. Miya sensed it as soon as they got into the car, leaving Tatsu’s flat. Arms crossed, brows furrowed, biting his lower lip, Shinya looked ready to explode. “Um, Shin, are you…” “NO I’M NOT DAMMIT!” Shinya yelled at Miya. The rest of the short ride home was in deadly silence, deadly to Miya if he said another word. They reached their front door, Shinya slammed it open and stomped all the way to the bedroom, slamming the door and locking it, leaving Miya in the genkan.

            Putting the shoes away, Miya had to smile. Shinya cared so much about their friends, so even though the relationship he formed with Koichi was relatively new, Shinya had been devastated over Koichi’s rape. Subsequently, anything related to it, upset his lover a great deal.

            Over the years, Miya had developed a formula for dealing with Shinya when these episodes occurred. After thirty minutes of a cooling off period, Miya would make tea, whatever Shinya currently favored, and whatever wagashi they had in the flat, hopefully chocolate flavored.  Miya would pull out a special red lacquered tea tray that he had bought Shinya for their first Christmas together, place everything neatly arranged on the tray. Taking down the spare bedroom door key, Miya would knock twice, open the door and slide the tray in. Closing the door, he would busy himself with other things, until Shinya emerged from their room, most of the time within an hour.

            Today was different. After an hour, Shinya had not left their bedroom. Miya opened the door to check on his lover, the tea was untouched. Shinya was laying on his side, facing away from the door. Walking quietly, Miya checked on Shinya. He found his lover asleep, but he had obviously been crying. He was holding one of Miya’s shirts, up against his face. It saddened Miya to see this, knowing how strong everyone believed him to be. Shinya, was the mother hen to the Mucc flock, and to his own band as well. Miya wished at times, that Shin wouldn’t take on this role, but he knew Shinya would always be there for his friends. Getting a blanket from a chair, Miya carefully covered his love, kissed him on the cheek, and let him sleep.

 

            “This is getting out of hand, it’s crazy. How did that creep get Kou’s number?” Taka was in the kitchen preparing lunch. “I don’t know Pet.” Sato looked at his boy, futzing in the kitchen. “Would you do me a favor, Taka?” Immediately Taka turned to look at Sato. It had to be important if he used his name. “Sure, what do you need?” Getting up and walking to the kitchen, Sato wrapped his arms around Taka. “Please, if you are out alone, which I forbid, but if you are, please, just be very aware of what’s going on around you. This asshole is unpredictable, we don’t know what he’s going to do next. I don’t want you out alone right now, Okay?” Sato hugged Taka tightly, afraid for him and his friends.

            “Morning, Shin, would you like tea or coffee?” Miya knew Shinya had had a rough night, a restless sleep. “I would love some strong coffee, please.” Shinya slipped his arms around Miya, “Thank you for last night, I’m sorry I didn’t get to drink the tea.” Turning around, pulling him in close, Miya leaned in, foreheads together. “Baby, I know how much you care for our friends, especially the adorable Kou. Don’t ever apologize for anything connected to that. I love you, baby.” Miya kissed him tenderly. “I’m scared for Kou-kun, he’s not a very strong young man. He has gone through something that I would never wish on anyone. I have grown to care for him in a very short time. Probably because he makes Tatsu so freaking happy. Tatsu will do what he can to protect Kou, I just don’t understand this person’s motive.” Miya shook his head, “Whomever it is, it’s deranged. Probably some sort of twisted reality that has pushed him over the edge and you cannot reason with these people.” Gather up the tray, the couple sat on the couch, drinking their coffee, both trying to sort out their thoughts.

            _“Good morning, Detective. Yes, we’re fine. I have to make my apologies for yesterday. I was out of line, when I screamed at you. Yes, I know, but please accept my apologies. Today? Yes, of course. That will work, thank you_.”

            “What did he want?” Koichi and Tatsu, with a rather annoying Teo jumping around, were all still in bed. “He has some information he wants to share, regarding the email and text. He said he’ll be here around 1pm. Hopefully it’s good news.” Tatsu was doubtful, but said nothing to Koichi. “Maybe they have a new idea on who it is?” Tatsu smiled “Maybe, would be a nice wedding gift.”

 

            “It’s not much, but it’s a start.” Detective Aoyama was giving Tatsu and Koichi an update. “The email was using a ghost server. Which unless you understand programing, it’s hard to explain and for the average person difficult to trace. The phone was a disposable he used it once, threw it away. We got a ping off a tower in Harajuku, but that was it.” Koichi was a little disappointed with the information. “What this tells us is that the suspect is technology savvy and intelligent.”

            Tatsu nodded, “But how do we draw him out? I obviously don’t want anyone else to be attacked, so what do we do?” Aoyama shook his head. “YOU and your friends don’t do anything! Except be very aware of your surroundings.” This was so frustrating for Tatsu, Koichi could not continue to live in fear. “Believe me, this is just as frustrating for us as it is for you! We don’t want anyone else attacked or hurt.” Aoyama covered his eyes and sighed. “Please, just let us do our jobs…Keep us informed on anything new.” With that statement, Aoyama left. “They’re not going to catch him, are they? He’s too smart. Maybe we should move, maybe outside the city…” Koichi got up and left the room.

 

                                                                       

 

            As the days turned into weeks, no new emails or texts, everyone involved started to breath a tiny bit easier, but all were still on high alert, always watching. March was the month that Mucc used to prepare for the spring tour season. Meetings at each other’s house, discussing set lists, merchandise and travel arrangements. Rehearsals became more frequent, and initially Taka and Koichi came to watch. That novelty soon wore off as the rehearsals lengthened in time.

            “Could you ever imagine, becoming bored with watching Tatsu perform?” teased Taka. The two friends were at Koichi’s flat, watching the two, now almost adult size cats, Eddy and Teo. “Not any more so than you and Sato.” Taka threw a tin foil ball at Teo, who grabbed out of the air. “No, I guess not.” The doorbell rang, and as was now the new normal, Taka grabbed a baseball bat, and Koichi answered the door, with the chain still latched. “It’s pizza.” Koichi told Taka, “You can put away the bat.” They had started this routine after the threatening text message, but neither man had really planned it, it just evolved. Sitting down to eat, the men knew it would be awhile until Sato and Taka were done at the studio.

            “Why are you pouting? I don’t pout, so why are you? I don’t stomp around causing a scene, when you’re getting ready for tour.” Shinya stuck out his tongue at Miya. “That’s different!” Miya rolled his eyes, grabbing a beer out of the fridge. “What’s that supposed to mean? How the hell is that any different?” Shinya didn’t have the answer, “It’s not like I’m leaving Japan, we’re not touring international, you can come to any of the shows you want.” Miya then ran up to Shinya, “OH! We can have crazy hotel sex!” This made Shinya giggle. “BAH! Okay, but I’m bored. Diru isn’t doing anything right now, can I come to rehearsal later? I’ll bring you all dinner.” Miya still had Shinya in a hug, “Okay fine, but before I go, maybe…we could practice our crazy hotel sex moves first?” Shinya wasn’t giggling anymore.

            “Dinner time! Stop what you’re doing and come and eat!” Per the norm, this wasn’t just fast food. “Holy Crap Shin! We’re going to go into a food coma if we all this!” Shinya blushed, “You don’t have to eat it all now, Sato, save some for your next break, if you remember to take one.” Everyone sat down where there was room and plowed into the food. Shinya watched, taking small bites. This is what made him happy, taking good care of his friends. “I’m going to Kou-kun’s for a bit, I’ll call you later. He kissed Miya and left.

 


	30. Chapter 30

Leaving the studio and walking towards his car, just as he passed by the alley, next to the udon café, Shinya heard what sounded like a small child crying. “What? A baby?” Looking around, he saw no one that appeared to be searching for a lost child.  Against his better judgement, Shinya stepped into the alley. Glancing back and forth, he came upon the source of the cry. A very small puppy was chained up against a drain pipe, about three feet off the ground.

             “FUCK! Who would do this to you? Sshh, alright, let me unwrap this, I’ll get you out, hold still.” Trying to figure out how to remove the chain, Shinya never heard or saw the hit coming from behind, across the back of his head. _What was that? Um, why…_ ” He did though, feel the kick to his ribs, it took several of those kicks, before Shinya could curl his body into a ball _. The puppy…_  Shinya tried to get up, he was on his knees now, his hands grabbed at the wall, almost up. He was hit hard a second time, across the back of his head _. Just cover up, don’t’ try, cover…_ The hitting stopped, he tried to call out, but couldn’t draw enough of a breath, it hurt so bad _. I don’t hear the puppy…did he get loose…I don’t see…_

            Oji-san came out the back door to dump the day’s trash. He had just closed the lid to the dumpster, when he heard a whine, “Damn it! Did someone dump puppies back here again?” When Oji-san walked around to the back of the dumpster, not only did he find a puppy, but also a badly beaten man. “OH HOLYFUCK!” Running to his back door, he screamed for his wife, “KOKI! Hurry! KOKI! Bring a phone, KOKI!” He turned back to the man on the ground, “Hey, kid it’s okay, don’t move…stay still!” Oji-san’s wife ran out to the alley, “What? Oh, my god! No…Oh…!” The woman knelt down, and made sure the man was breathing, her husband on the phone with the police. The wife had taken off her apron and covered the man, not really knowing what else to do.

            It felt like an hour to the couple who found Shinya, before the police and paramedics arrived. The paramedics carefully put Shinya in a neck brace, and placed him on a stretcher, loading him quickly into the ambulance. The police took statements from the udon café owner and his wife, took pictures of the scene, including the puppy, who they released to the wife of the café owner. “Will the young man be alright?” the wife asked. She got no answer.

 

            Koichi checked the time again, wondering where Shinya was. “Weird, he should have been here by now.” Koichi called Shinya’s cell phone, but there was no answer. “Maybe he stayed at the studio? He wouldn’t hear his phone there.” Taka was playing a video game, both of them rather bored.

            It was nearly 10pm, when Tatsu and Sato arrived back at the flat. “Tadaima Kou” kicking off his shoes, Tatsu was beat. “Okaeri” Koichi leaned his head back for a kiss. “How was rehearsal?” Taka had gone to sit with Sato. “Long, brutal, but Shin brought us a huge dinner, which Sato ate more than his fair share.”

            “How was your night, you have a good time with Shin?” Koichi instantly paled. “Shinya was never here, we figured he stayed with you.” Sato shook his head, “No, he said he was coming here, because you were bored.” The four looked at each other, Taka already dialing, “Miya…NO! He’s NOT!” Tatsu grabbed the phone, “Have you called his cell? Shit! Let me think. MIYA STOP!” Tatsu covered the phone, “Sato, call Yukke.” Koichi had his arms around his knees, silently rocking. “Miya! Stay there! We’ll be over in a minute.”

            Hanging up the phone, Tatsu shook Koichi’s shoulder, “Let’s go, Kou…NOW!” By the time they arrived at Miya’s, Yukke and Kai were already there.

            “WE HAVE TO FIND HIM! WHERE IS HE? I CAN’T FIND HIM!

            Miya was almost hysterical and this frightened Koichi, he was used to seeing Miya as Leader-san. Koichi went up to Miya, hugging him tightly, Miya could almost not react, his face blank with pain.

            Tatsu’s phone rang, it’s Aoyama. “Yes, Okay, we’re leaving now.” Tatsu grabs Miya by the shoulders, “Shinya is at the hospital, that’s all he said, let’s go.” Sato drove the to the hospital, violating a lot of laws along the way, he got then there in eight minutes. Running through the ER, they ran up to the desk, “Shinya? Where?” The nurse picked up a phone and pointed down a hallway. Tatsu sees Aoyama and Fujioka first. “What the hell?”

            “Where’s Shin? I need to see Shin!” Miya was hanging on Tatsu’s arm. “He’s being looked at now, the doctor is the same one that took care of Koichi, so we can use that same room, let’s go.”

            “I need to see Shin, please!” Miya was frantic. They all felt lost, Shinya was their comfort keeper, they didn’t know how to function without him there to help, Shinya was always the voice of reason.  Yukke was with Miya, trying to calm him, Kai was calling Kaoru, letting them know where they were. Miya had his head in his hands, rocking slightly, whispering Shinya’s name over and over.

            Aoyama was waiting for the rest of Dir En Grey to arrive, before he spoke. Within minutes of each other, Kyo, Die, Toshiya and Kaoru arrived. Miya hugged Kyo, “I don’t know what happened, Kyo… they won’t let me see him, Kyo what do I do?” Kyo was the closest with Shinya, and this was tearing him apart as well. “Miya, Shin will be okay, let the doctors take care of him, they’ll let you see him soon.” Toshiya was in tears, “Remember, Shin is way stronger than we give him credit for at times. He may look frail, but he’s strong, Miya you have to hang on to that!”

            “We don’t have a lot of information yet. The owner of the udon café near the studio said he went to dump trash, hearing what he thought was a puppy, and found Shinya. Evidently, people have been known to dump puppies there frequently, and there was an actual puppy chained to a pipe. This is just an assumption, but whomever did this, used the puppy as bait, to lure them the alley.” Kaoru was angry, more angry than he had ever been. “That bastard knows us, he KNOWS Shinya would stop for any animal in distress. That FUCKING BASTARD!” Die was standing with Kyo, comforting his friend.

            While everyone was talking at once, Koichi was sitting on the floor in a corner, not saying anything, his arms around his knees _. This is my fault. It’s him, and now he’s hurt Shinya_.,

            Kyo saw Koichi by himself. He left Miya with Yukke and sat down with Koichi. “It’s not, you know.” Koichi looked puzzled. “It’s not your fault, I know that’s what you’re feeling, but it’s wrong.” Tears started to fall. Kyo put his arm around Koichi’s shoulder, that act alone, broke Koichi’s last resolve. Koichi folded into Kyo’s embrace and sobbed. Miya saw Kyo comforting Koichi and joined them. “Kou, look at me please, “Koichi looked up, “It’s not your fault this happened. This deranged asshole, he’s at fault. Please, Kou, don’t cry. Shin wouldn’t want his adorable Kou to be blaming himself. So please, come sit with me and wait, Kyo comes too.”

            The three men got up and sat together on the couch, waiting for word on Shinya’s condition. Kaoru was making phone calls to DCR, and others. Die and Toshiya were sitting with the others. It was four long hours before the doctor came into the room. Miya jumped to his feet. “You’re the husband? Sit down please. Shinya is stable. He is unfortunately in a drug induced coma for the time being.” As questions bombarded the doctor, he raised his hand. “He has some broken ribs, a broken collarbone, those injuries are not serious. He does however have a severe skull fracture, which is the reason we put him in the coma. There is no bleeding in his brain, but there is swelling.”

            Miya was becoming increasingly paler with every word. “The next 36-72 hours are critical, he is in ICU, he will remain there for the next 3-4 days.” Turning to Miya, “If his parents are living, I suggest you call them.” Getting up, the doctor turned to the group, “As it was prior, this room will be at your disposal at all times. If your management does not have any, the hospital will provide security. I can assure you, there will be no leaks from this hospital.”

            Looking at Detective Aoyama. “If as before, there is some information leaked, I suggest you consider it will come from the perpetrator of this attack.  I believe that was the cause, in Koichi’s assault. This person wants to be heard, and I pray that there are no more of these attacks. If there is, I would venture to guess, the next victim may not survive his or her injuries.”  The group was stunned into silence, none of them, including Miya, could believe what the doctor had just told them. Before the doctor left, he told Miya that he could go upstairs to ICU to see Shinya.

            “Kou, will you come with me to see Shin?” Miya was pale, his appearance worried Koichi. “Yes, I’d like to, thank you.” Koichi gave Tatsu a quick hug and a kiss, and went with Miya and the doctor. Tatsu turned to the two detectives, “Is it possible, that the guy who raped Kou, leaked to the press himself?”

            “At this point, everything is possible.” Kaoru was on the phone with DCR management, arranging security for the room they were using. Yukke was also on the phone, arranging private security on for everyone’s home, Diru members included. “After speaking with Fujioka and discussing it, we have a proposal.” Aoyama looked at the group.

            “We can do two things; one would be going to the press first. Have a news conference.” Negative murmurs were heard. “You do realize detectives, that in our industry, who we love is not common knowledge by the public.” Kaoru wasn’t sure about this idea. “Yes, we are aware of that, we would have to develop a plan for this if is this what we choose to do.”

            The other option would be to contact the press agencies, cautioning them that by revealing any anonymous tips or information, due to ethical and legal conditions, that it could find them being charged with a crime. Whatever method is chosen, we need to act quickly, strike him before he lashes out.”

            “We could just issue a statement via DCR, giving the facts; Shinya left the studio and was brutally attacked. Release it only as a Diru statement, not bringing Mucc, or any single members of any other band.”

            They were throwing out ideas, none of which everyone felt confident about. Kyo though out the last and best option, “We might want to see what Miya wants to do…he may not want us to say anything.” Kaoru told the group, that was the best option for the moment.

            Die and Toshiya had just returned with a late dinner for all of them, when Koichi returned from ICU. Before saying anything, he searched out Tatsu and fell into his arms, burying his face in his lover’s chest. The group gave them privacy, setting up the food while Tatsu comforted Kou.

            Koichi pulled away from Tatsu, “He’s stable, so far everything looks good medically. His head is wrapped up, they placed some gauze over his eyes. But…he’s hooked up to so many machines…and tubes…” Koichi started crying again. Guiding Koichi to a chair, Tatsu embraced Kou and drew him into his lap, holding him tightly.  Tucking Kou’s head under his chin, the two drifted off to a light, restless sleep.

           

            “Shin baby, I’m here, Koichi just left, your adorable Kou was here to see you. Baby you’re hurt really bad, so you can’t wake up yet. I’m going to stay with you, Kyo is going to call your parents, they need to know their baby is okay. Shin, I don’t know what to do, you’re my whole life, since day one. You need to get better, we have so much left to do. Remember, we want to buy a house, so you can have as many puppies you want.” Miya wanted to crawl into his love’s bed, and hold him. The ICU nurses would come in, try to work quietly around Miya.

            There was a very light tap on the wall, “Miya, can I come talk to Shin?” Kyo was being so quiet, “Sure, Kyo.” Turning to the young man in the bed, “Shin, Kyo is here to see you.” Kyo walked over to the other side of the bed. “Hey Shin, hey buddy, I’m here, so are the others. I’m going to call your parents in a while, so don’t yell at me when you wake up.” Kyo looked at Miya, the unspoken love for Shinya left it so nothing needed to be said. “Shin, I’m going to go now, I’ll be back in a few hours. Don’t wake up yet, I love you, Shin.” Kyo stretched and kissed Shinya’s cheek, then walked out of the room. Kyo was able to hold it together until he returned to the waiting room, when he saw his band mates, his friends, it was only then that Kyo collapsed to his knees and started sobbing. The rest of the band, Kai and Yukke, all gathered on the floor with Kyo. Tatsu and Koichi, still in their chair, crying for their friend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it mean anything, that I actually cried as I wrote this? Hell, I'm tearing up now! Heh..


	31. Chapter 31

Shinya’s parents arrived the next day and like Miya, were devastated by the injuries their son was suffering from. Miya had not left Shinya’s bed side, much like Tatsu did with Koichi. Miya had been sleeping lightly in a chair next to the bed, waking only when the nurses came in to read the monitors. Shinya’s mother gasped and covered her mouth, when she walked into the room. Miya got up and hugged her, crying into her shoulder, Shinya’s father then embracing them both. “I’m sorry to intrude…” the doctor had come in to check Shinya’s condition. He explained the medical reasons for keeping Shinya in the medically induced coma. “In a few days, we will do another brain scan and evaluate his condition at that time.” The doctor then excused himself and left.

            Miya invited Shinya’s parents to stay at their flat, for as long as they liked. Miya felt a great deal of guilt, even as Shinya’s parents assured him that they loved Miya. They were very accepting of their son’s lover, knowing how much Shinya loved Miya.

            “I’m sorry, can I come in?” Miya turned and saw Koichi. “Hi, Kou, I’m sure Shin would like a visit.” Miya introduced Koichi to Shinya’s parents, who then recognized the young man’s name. Koichi groaned and held Shinya’s hand, “You too, Shin? I thought Tatsu was the only one throwing that around.”

            Miya explained that the ‘adorable Kou’ story and how it had become a thorn in Koichi’s side. “Shinya has been such a wonderfully supportive friend to me, I love him a great deal…” Koichi couldn’t finish, he turned to Miya, “Has the doctor said anything?” Miya explained about the brain scans, Koichi’s face paled at the information. “Oh Shinya!” Miya wrapped his arm around Koichi’s shoulder, “It’s okay Kou, Shin will be fine.” Shinya’s parents wanted to spend some time alone with their son, and Miya took the opportunity for a break. Going with Koichi, they went downstairs to the waiting room.

            “Miya! How’s Shin?” Kyo was the first- person Miya wanted to talk to. “His parents are here, they’re with him now.” Miya went through everything the doctor had said. “So, it will still be a few days until the scan?” Kaoru was in his leader roll. “I’ll let DCR know.” Tatsu and Yukke, hugged Miya, Tatsu knowing all too well what Miya was experiencing. Kai handed Miya a back pack, “Yukke and I went to your flat and picked up a few things for you.” Miya hugged Kai and then Yukke, “Thanks guys, I’m going to go back up, I don’t want to leave Shin for too long.” Miya looked at his friends, his peers, knowing they were all hurting as well. “I can’t tell you all how much you mean to me, and Shin. We both love you all a great deal.” Miya paused for a moment, then left the room.

            Kaoru was the first to suggest they all go home. “There is really nothing more that we can do today.” As they gathered their belongings, Koichi remembered what Detective Aoyama had said, “Um…” Koichi spoke in a tiny voice, everyone turning to look. “What do we do about alerting the press? Do you go with one of Aoyama’s ideas, do you wait?” Everyone paused, “Let me talk to DCR before anything is decided.” Kaoru was on his phone in an instant. “The legal team might want us to do something different. Thank you for reminding me, Kou-kun.” Koichi blushed, and nodded. He had never actually spoken to Kaoru, and found him a bit intimidating. “I will call all of you when it has been decided. Now I think we all need some sleep.”

            _“That is what Detectives Aoyama and Fujioka had suggested. Yes, I understand, but where does that leave Miya? Okay, we should also ask Shin’s parents, will DCR also speak with the print media? Alright, yes that sounds like a good way to go. Thank you._ ”

            Kaoru informed everyone on how DCR wanted to proceed, and a news conference was set up for the next afternoon, although Shinya’s parents opted out of the event. Everyone involved arrives at the police station, briefed on how the conference would unfold. With the instructions in place, the group moved to the media room.

            Entering the media area, Kaoru, Tatsu, Kai and Ryo sat at a long table, with the other band members behind them. Detective Fujioka spoke first, explaining the attack on Shinya and that the crime was possibly related to the first attack and subsequent attacks on two HBG employees. “The nature of the attacks, the small connection between the victims, indicates that it is the same suspect for all of the crimes.” The room broke into a flurry of questions, which Aoyama answered, “The connections between victims is simple, band members have been regular customers over the years at the High Ball Garden, thus becoming friendly with its employees.” Several questions about why the other bands were at the conference.

            “As fellow musicians, we are all under contract with Danger Crue Records.” Kaoru took the first part of the answer. “We are all friends, we tour together, see each other socially outside of business, we have known each other for years.” Tatsu’s answer had hushed the press momentarily. Kai was next, “Ours is a tight community, we are always there for each other.” “All of the bands and DCR management are family in our eyes.” Ryo finished the statement.

            “We have a vague description of the suspect that will be provided after the end of this conference. Thank you all for your cooperation.” Once the cameras were turned off and the press left the room, everyone breathed easier. “I need to get back to the hospital.” Miya was very pale, dark circles and heavy bags under his eyes, had aged him, with the worry of his lover’s condition heaped upon him.

 

            “OH MY GOD TATSU!” Jerking straight up in bed, Koichi had screamed. “KOU!” Tatsu startled awake, “Kou! Wake up.” Koichi’s violent nightmares had returned. “Sshh, Kou, it’s okay, I’m here.” Tatsu hugged a slumping Koichi who quietly sobbed. “It was him…he had Shinya and was beating him with a bat, and laughing.” The frequency of the nightmares had increased, anytime he slept, napped or dozed off, if he shut his eyes, the violence returned. Staying up 24 hours straight, sleeping medication, alcohol, nothing he tried kept the haunting visions away. Gently laying Koichi back on the bed, Tatsu cradled his lover, murmuring soothing sounds, until he felt the slow even breaths of sleep.


	32. Chapter 32

“Where’s the puppy? I need to see the puppy.” Shinya was trying to climb up from the fog that surrounded his awareness. “Shin, baby, look at me sweetheart.” Miya kept looking at the doctor as Shinya struggled. “Is this normal? He seems like he’s in and out…” The doctor nodded, “It’s been six days, it’s a lot of medication to swim through.” Shinya tried to open his eyes, “Mi…ya?” Kissing Shinya on his forehead, Hi, baby, how are you feeling?” Shinya blinked his eyes, trying to focus, “Where’s the puppy? Did you get him?” Miya smiled, “I think the puppy is okay, Shin.”

            It was early evening when Tatsu got the call;

            _“Really? Is he…Of course he did! It would be weird if he didn’t. Oh, for sure! Let me know when we can visit._ ”

            Tatsu leaned in the doorway of the bathroom, with a weird grin on his face, looking at Koichi in the bathtub. “Why are you smiling so weird? Did Teo do something bad?” Tatsu walked over to the tub, bent down and drew Koichi into a sweet tender kiss. “What was that for?” whispered Koichi. “Shinya is awake.” Tatsu whispered back. “He is! Oh My God!” Koichi started splashing water everywhere. He turned this face up for another kiss, as Tatsu bent down, Koichi grabbed him and pulled him into the tub. “You could have just asked me to join you.” Koichi kissed Tatsu again, “But this is more fun! When can we go see Shinya?”

            “Miya said he’d call and let us know, but I’m supposed to be calling the others.” Koichi pouted, “Okay fine, but you’re fucking me properly later.”

 

            The mood at DCR as more positive than it had been in months. Shinya was recovering, the plans for the spring tours were shaping up, and with the press conference, the police were getting some hits on the information they released. Shinya’s parents felt like their son would be fine in Miya’s capable hands, and went home. “When will Shinya be able to come home?” The doctor was speaking with Miya. “I need to do another brain scan, if it looks good, we’ll send him home, I’m sure you’d like that, Shinya?” Shinya was getting restless, except for his ribs, he felt fine. “Oh god yes please! I want to sleep in my own bed”

            Shinya was to be released the next day. Miya was constantly on the phone, hiding his conversations from Shinya. “What are you planning? I don’t want any surprises Miya!” Miya tried to appear innocent “I’m not planning anything. Just want to make sure everything is in place when we get you home.” Shinya didn’t buy that for one minute. “Baby, I just want you home, where I can keep you safe.” Miya tenderly kissed his lover.

            The word ‘safe’ was being thrown around a lot. The police had questioned Shinya as to what he remembered, which wasn’t much. “I took everyone dinner, for Mucc. I stayed for a bit then I left. I was going to over to see Koichi and Taka…then…” Shinya furrowed his brow, trying to remember what had happened. “I walked outside the studio…I could see my car…I remember hearing an animal crying.” Tears were slowly rolling down Shinya’s cheeks. “Um…I remember hurting, like a bad headache, …that’s all, I’m sorry Detective.” Aoyama assured Shinya that he had enough information. “We’ve been checking businesses in the area that have cameras. We’ve spoken to the owner of the udon café, that found you. It’s going to be alright, worry about healing first.”

            Miya, on the other hand, was frustrated as hell, feeling like the investigation was going nowhere. “How do I deal with this? I want to go out and look for this asshole myself!” Miya was venting at Tatsu, “I know, it’s shitty. But hopefully, this is the same guy, it has to be, just too many similarities for it not to be.”

 

            “Is he here yet?” Koichi was peeking out the window, “Nope.” The members of both Dir En Grey and Mucc, and the three boyfriends were there as well, waiting for Miya to bring Shinya home. Even as Shinya had made Miya promise that there be no surprise waiting for him, that promise was being broken in a huge way. “Shit! They’re here!” Everyone crowded into the small spare bedroom and waited.

            “See? I told you that there wasn’t going to be any surprises. Let’s get you on the couch, do you want tea?” Miya was eyeing the hallway, hoping his friends could hear the pre-arranged signal. “This is more than I could ever ask for, you, sitting on our couch, safe, I love you baby.” The ‘I love you’, was the signal. As Miya was kissing Shinya, a very tiny puppy came walking into the living room, hesitating, then whining.

Miya! I hear whining!” Shinya all but pushed Miya off the couch, “OH IT’S YOU!” Shinya gasped, seeing the puppy. “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he? Oh, let me see.” Miya picked up the puppy, handing it to Shinya, who held the puppy close, checking her entire tiny body for any signs of injuries. Seeing none, Shinya turned to Miya, a look of pure love in his eyes, “How did you find her? This is the puppy! Oh, Miya!” Shinya threw his arms around Miya’s neck, kissing him passionately, while the tiny puppy licked both their faces.

            During the kissing, the group of friends emerged from the bedroom, quietly. Standing together, many with tears in their eyes. Shinya broke the kiss, Miya pulled away, and Shinya is faced with his band mates and friends. “Shin, we knew that when you got home, you’d worry about that little rat.” Kyo was shuffling back and forth, looking at the floor. “But how did you find her?” Shinya was getting his face washed by the puppy. “That was Koichi’s doing, not mine. I was…um…” Kyo couldn’t finish. “Kyo had a difficult time seeing…his eyes wer…” Kyo punched Die in the stomach, “It was allergies, asshole!” But Shinya knew better.

            “Kou-kun, how did you even know about the puppy?” Shinya didn’t remember until he saw the puppy, that it was the reason he went into the alley. “When the police talked to the Oji-san, who owned the café, he said people dumped puppies in the alley all the time.”

            Everyone was now seated, in chairs and on the floor, with the puppy walking around greeting everyone, but crawled only into Kyo’s lap, then licking his face. “You little rat!” Kyo pretended not to like the little dog. “I went to the udon café to ask about the puppy.” Koichi continued, “His wife had kept it, but when I told her about you, she said that the puppy belonged with you, you saved her.” Koichi was now tearing up. “She has been terrorizing Teo and Eddy! We’ve had her for a week, it will be nice to have a quiet house again.” Shinya looked at his friends, slowly getting up, he walked around the room, hugging and kissing each of them. “Die, keep your hands where I can see them.!”  Miya joked, knowing about Die’s history with Shinya, “Dude, I now he’s not a girl, damn!”

            Shinya was laying on the couch, his head in Miya’s lap, the tiny puppy on his chest, sound asleep. “What are you naming her?” Miya asked softly. “Miyu.” Shinya answered in a flash. “So, this is the girl dog version of me?” Miya teased. “No, but she’s almost as important as you, but no one will ever come close in my heart as you do.” The threesome cuddled a little closer, all three happy to be with the one’s they loved.

 


	33. Chapter 33

_“I’m not leaving Koichi here by himself, and I’m sure Sato feels the same way about Taka. It’s too dangerous, we don’t know who this asshole is. Now that it’s been made public by the police, shit! He could come back…maybe attack Taka, or whatever. Sato and I will pay for hotels out of our own pockets. All we ask is that Koichi and Taka be allowed on the tour bus, and back stage during the lives_.”

 

            “You what? Tatsu! Why? Why would you make those kinds of demands? I work for DCR! What if they fire me because my husband is an asshole! Oh gods, I’m going to get fired because my husband is too damned pushy!”

 

            “Well, will you? I want it to be permanent, no questions, no what if’s. Don’t over think this. I want to keep you forever, and I want to do this before the tour. So? What’s your answer?”

 

            “You’re going to stay with your parents, no debating it. Aoi is moving in with Kai, while we’re on tour. Kou and Taka will probably go with us. You are not 100% yet, you’re in no condition to be living in a bus. Plus, Miyu is too young as well. I’ll be dropping you off at your parents, the day before we leave. That’s final.”

 

 

            The spring tour for Mucc was only a national tour, no international cities, strictly Japan. DCR agreed that both Koichi and Taka would be traveling in the bus with the band. Koichi could still do his job from the road, and Taka would be working as part of the road crew. Aoi had agreed to stay with Kai, and Miya had taken Shinya and Miyu, home to Shinya’s parents. Although tensions were running high, everyone felt a little better with the new arrangements in place. Mucc was geared up for a successful spring tour.

            “We leave in three days, Pet, what do you want to do?” Sato was concerned. “Do you want to get engaged? Married? You have to decide, I want whatever you do. I want to keep you forever, I’m not like the others.” After this last statement, Sato walked away, going to the bedroom to pack. Taka sat on the couch, chewing on a fingernail. He didn’t know what he wanted, and was afraid of voicing that to Sato _. Married? Like Kou and Tatsu? Is that the right way to go? I guess legally it is. Collared…with a contract? But that’s not legally or binding. Maybe just engaged? I could back out if…_ ”

 

            Sato was searching his sock drawer, never finding a matching pair, when Taka tapped him on the shoulder. “Can we um…talk?” he asked shyly. Sato moved to the bed, patting his lap for Taka to sit in. “Have you decided, Pet?” Taka nodded. “Can we just be engaged for a while? I know you love me and I do love you, but the other options are huge steps, and I don’t know if I’m ready. I didn’t want to lie to you.” Sato smiled, hugging Taka tightly, he kissed his boy. “I never want you to feel like I’m forcing you to do anything that you’re not 100% sure about, in or out of our bedroom. But, I want you to understand something.” Sato had a serious look on his face. “Whatever you do agree to, I’m not letting you back out, because you’re scared or worried. I want to keep you, forever, married, engaged or collared, it’s always going to be, me and you.” Taka had tears fighting to get out, pushing them away with a sleeve, Taka smiled and nodded, “So get that perky ass in gear, we need to pack.” With a slap on the ass and a kiss, Taka felt lighter than he had in days.

 

            The tour started off with three nights of back to back lives, that really had the band excited. Being able to watch the band perform, from the wings was a whole new experience for Koichi and Taka. Both Sato and Tatsu made small gestures to the wings, where no one could see their lovers. In between sets, the guys helped the band with towels, and water bottles, Koichi started helping with hair styling and Taka helped with equipment. No one really paid that much attention to them, a great blessing for everyone involved. After each concert, there would be a long winding down period, which usually involved food and not a small amount of alcohol. Sato was especially careful, as crew members were known to pull out video cameras and record him, drunk.

            Taka was surprised at this side of Sato, having never experienced, ‘tour Sato’. Miya of course, spent as much time as he could, on the phone with Shinya, asking about doctor’s appointments, and of course, how Miyu was growing. The entire group gave him the privacy he needed, when talking with Shinya.

            “Is he doing well?” Koichi often asked. “Yes, good reports for his last doctor’s appointment, everything looks great, thanks Kou-kun.”

           

            After a performance in Osaka, the bus was particularly rowdy on the way to the hotel. The crowd had been amazing, the sets were perfect, just a great show. With the loud talking and laughing, Sato had asked the two bus drivers to pull into a parking lot. “Why are we stopping here?” Nobody knew. The bus doors opened, and all the crew from the other bus, got on. “Hey! Is your bus broken?” The crew knew nothing, just shrugging. “No idea. We were told to get off and get on yours.” Everyone was completely puzzled. Then there was a loud whistle, that stopped everything.

            Standing on a small step, Sato had whistled, the two bus drivers standing behind him. “Hey, I need to say something, so listen up.” Sato looked towards the back of the bus. “I guess everyone is here…” “DUH” was heard from several people. “Okay, no need to be rude.” Holding up his hand, everyone grew quiet.

            “I’m not good at making speeches, and it was hard for me to figure out how to do this. I thought about doing it privately, but I wanted all of you to be in on it.”

            Sato got down from the step, and made his way to the center of the bus, where Taka was sitting, at a table. Then he got down on one knee, which made everyone cheer. Holding his hand up again for quiet;

            “We’ve gone through a lot in a very short time, a lot of it was shit, but most of it wasn’t.” Taka was now tearing up, and the instant Sato took his hand, the tears started to fall. “I love you, Takayoshi, more than anything. I want to keep you forever, so how about we get married? Will you?” The cheers started again, and got louder when Taka nodded and said yes. All hell broke loose, when Sato produced a dark sliver and diamond ring, and placed it on Taka’s finger.

            The cheering and congrats lasted a good twenty minutes, until the bus drivers herded the crew back to their bus. Taka and Sato were sitting at the table, cuddling, with Taka being very embarrassed over the proposal. “Really? In of everyone? Why didn’t you just ask me at home?” Sato kissed his boy, “Because I wanted everyone to know, how much I love you. Do you know how hard it was for me to do that? I was totally shaking.” Taka found that amusing, considering his lover played drums in front of hundreds of people nightly. “Performing is different. I’m Satochi, the drummer for Mucc. With my friends, I’m just Sato.” Taka leaned in for a kiss, whispering on to Sato’s lips, “I love you.”

 

            It was the last live of the tour, and everyone was tired and just wanted to go home. Miya was still very concerned over Shinya’s health, although he received daily updates from both Shinya and his parents. Taka and Koichi now had a better understanding of what being on tour entailed, and it wasn’t as glamorous as they had originally thought. Cramped buses, road food and constant packing, unpacking and packing again at ever venue. Touring was physically draining. The one glorious moment on the tour, the high point, was Sato proposing to Taka in front of the band and the entire crew. Taka felt special, as the crew members and the rest of the band members congratulated the happy couple.

            But Koichi was worn out. He desperately wanted to be truly alone again with his husband. Their sex life had suffered while on tour, mainly due to the extreme exhaustion Tatsu felt after performing, only wanting a hot shower and food, most nights. Koichi understood it was temporary, but he missed it, none the less.

            Taka and Koichi had started the tour, watching each performance, but soon tired of it. The actions of some of the fangirls, made it difficult to watch their lovers. “The other girl, about five rows back? I thought she was going to pass out, every time Miya looked in that direction.” Smirked Taka. “Funny, these fangirls have NO idea about what goes on in private.” giggled Koichi.

 

            The band was playing their second set, with Koichi counting down the songs. Taka was sitting on the couch, reading a manga. “I wonder how Teo and Eddy are? I bet they’re both huge!” Taka missed his little ‘turd’ as Sato called him. “Teo is going to be on the war path when we do get home, I just know it.” Koichi turned his head, “Sounds like the last song is next.” Koichi started to pack up his and Tatsu’s personal stuff, when a knock came from the door. “Yes?” Koichi turned to see Taka with a huge arrangement of red roses. “It’s for Tatsu.” Looking at the card, Koichi went to see who it was from. Opening the card, Koichi loses his breath, dropping it on the table, he stumbling backwards, falling against the wall.

                                    YOU THINK YOU’RE SAFE? I WILL HURT EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

            “Kou! What? What’s wrong?” Koichi points at the flowers, shaking, tears starting to fall. “Nonono, Tatsu!” whispers Koichi. Taka grabs the card from the table, as he reads it, he starts to shake as well. “What the fuck!” Taka looks at Koichi who is whispering Tatsu’s name over and over. Hearing the door, Taka turns, “God, I’m so gla…” Miya is first through the door. He sees Taka, pale, holding a small piece of paper. “Taka…” Yukke walks in, sees Koichi on the floor. “TATSU!” hissed Yukke, he was kneeling down next to Koichi.

            Tatsu turns towards Yukke’s voice, “KOU! What happened?” Looking around, Tatsu notices the flowers, Taka hands him the card, “This just came like 2 minutes ago!” Reading the card, Tatsu starts turning red, waking to the flowers, he picks them up and hurls them against the wall.

            “MOTHER FUCKER!” He growls. Tatsu runs out of the room, Miya and Sato following him. Running to the back door of the venue, Tatsu runs into the alley, screaming. ‘I WILL FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN ASSHOLE!”

            “Tatsu, Kou is going to need you.” Miya pulls his friend back inside. Walking back to the dressing room, Yukke is sitting on the floor, holding both Taka and Koichi. “Tell me what happened.” Sato asked Taka. “The flowers were just delivered, by a kid, not him. I found the card, it was addressed to Tatsu, so I gave it to Kou.” Taka looked a little better than Koichi did at the moment. “Koichi read the card, then he fell backwards, I just looked at the card, then you all came in.” Tatsu squatted down next to Yukke, who was still comforting Koichi. “Kou, it’s okay, he wasn’t even here. We need to call the police, okay?” Koichi nodded. He took a deep breath, “Let’s call them now, while I can remember things clearly.”

            Detective Aoyama met the band at the venue. Having already spoken to the venue staff, he was now in the dressing room, speaking with Koichi and Taka. “Do you remember anything about the delivery boy?” Looking at the card, the decimated arrangement, Aoyama was trying to identify what florist had delivered to the venue, who let the delivery boy in. After two hours of police interviews, Aoyama finally let the tired bandmembers go home, but with a warming. “Whomever this is…he’s getting braver by the hour. Please! I caution you all, to be very careful in your daily activities.”

            It was after 2am before anyone got home, Miya wanted to leave straight from the venue to go pick up Shinya, but his friends knew he was overly tired and convinced him to wait until morning. Yukke went home to Kai and upon seeing his lover, grabbed him, holding him close, “I love you! I’m so damn glad to be home, and that you’re safe.” Of course, this triggered some fear in Kai, and Yukke had to explain the recent incident to him.

            Tatsu and Sato took their tired lovers home, each couple being welcomed home by screaming teenage cats. Koichi and Tatsu took a hot shower together, just to wind down and reconnect. The last eight hours had been stressful and draining, so much so, the couple fell into bed, holding each other and slipped into a dreamless slumber.

            Sato was trying to feed Eddy, before he went to bed. “Damn it Eddy! Give me five seconds!” Eddy couldn’t wait five more seconds, he was starving and wanted his food now. Taka had stumbled off to bed as soon as they walked through the door. Fifteen minutes later, Sato joined him. Pulling Taka close, Sato kissed him on the ear and said good night. Taka’s response was a quiet cry, “Kou…please…let me…” Sato didn’t hear the cry, having no idea what Taka was dreaming about.


	34. Chapter 34

            DCR waited two days before calling a mandatory meeting of all bands signed to the label. If a band was on tour, a video conference call was set up. The most recent incident was on the agenda first. The main issue is the continuing violence towards DCR band members, significant others and friends. Detective Aoyama had issues a statement asking for members of the DCR talent and others to be extra vigilant and cautious, reporting anything that seemed odd or out of place.

            DCR management issued new safety procedures; No random people backstage, No backstage passes will be issued at Lives. Everyone must check in, when entering the studio.

            The no back stage passes issue created some grumbling by different bands.

            There were a few raised eyebrows in reference to those who were complaining the most, and notes were made on who they were. As they were all getting ready to leave, Morrie was speaking with Kyo. “I never had anything like this happen when I lived in New York, but these are different times, and if we need to have a more secure backstage, I’m grateful for it.”

            DCR also canceled Mucc’s end of tour party, there was no need for any celebrating. Miya brought Shinya home and the couple holed up in their flat for two weeks, everyone understanding their need to be alone. Aoi, went home, Kai and Yukke reunited and also spent most of the time at home. At a glance, everyday life seemed back to normal, but lurking under the surface, in everyone’s minds, was fear and apprehension.

 

            There were no lives scheduled until May. The members of Mucc were preparing to record a new album, which meant long days, into night, at the DCR studios. Taka and Koichi went back to the new normal routine of spending days together, with Teo and Eddy the usual entertainment. Koichi’s job was placed on hold, as no DCR bands had any future plans to play internationally. Koichi was disappointed, but considering the events surrounding them, he understood.

            During the recording sessions, another routine had started, one that most of the boyfriends loved. Taka had named it the “ESF Effect”. When Tatsu came home from a long day at the studio, three things happened almost, in the same sequence.

  1. Eat
  2. Fuck
  3. Sleep



 Taka had joked about it with Koichi one afternoon. “Am I right? Isn’t that what happens when you see him?” Koichi blushed, sending Taka into a fit of giggles. “I knew it! It’s true! Right?” Looking at his hands, Koichi smiled, “Pretty much, it must be the same for everyone.” With a slightly evil grin, Taka made a bold suggestion, “Let’s call Shinya and Kai. We can set up a lunch date, then we can drill the for specifics.” Koichi paled, “I can’t ask Shinya that! God, I don’t know Kai well enough either! It has to be different for them too, they’re both in bands!”

            Somehow, Taka talked Koichi into inviting Kai and Shinya over for lunch, on the pretense of seeing Miyu, the puppy. Taka ordered in and Koichi busied himself cleaning up the flat.

            “She’s getting so big!” Taka was holding a wiggling, Miyu, letting the puppy lick his face. “She’s still smaller than Teo or Eddy” giggled Kai. The foursome sat and talked, enjoying lunch, when finally, Taka couldn’t stand it anymore.

            “So, Shinya…” Koichi groaned. “Koichi and I were wondering…um, how life is…when um…you know, the guys are in the studio a lot? You know, what are Miya and Yukke like after a day in the studio?” Kai looked at Shinya, who raised an eyebrow, “Should we?” Kai asked. “Well, if they don’t know already, it could be a wakeup call for them.” Shinya winked at Kai. Taka leaned in, ready hear something shocking.

            “Well,” Shinya started, “recording can be brutal, Miya has it especially hard, as he writes most of the music.” Kai nodded, “Yukke’s part is smaller, but as a band leader myself, it’s tough.” Taka leaned in. “So…anything special that you do for them?” Shinya looked at Kai, “No, not really.” Kai said, then looked at Shinya, they both said at the same time.

                                                Eat

                                                Fuck

                                                Sleep.

            Taka’s eyes widened and Koichi fell over laughing. “What? Really? Damn! I thought it was going to be something crazy, not the just the EFS Effect!” Taka put his head down on the table. “The EFS Effect?” Kai was puzzled. “Yah, that’s what Taka calls it…eat, fuck, sleep effect.” Shinya laughed, “Well, we’ve had that problem for a long time, Kou-kun, but leave it to Taka to put a name on it.” Kai’s infectious giggle was taking over. “Hi! Yukke, you’re suffering from the EFS Effect! I think I’ll use that on him tonight.”

            They all sat there and laughed for a good twenty minutes. Koichi was so pleased to see Shinya almost back to normal, and getting to know Kai better was a bonus. It was getting late, so Shinya and Kai, packed up Miyu and said their goodbyes. “I guess we didn’t learn anything new.” Taka was disappointed. “But Shinya looked happy, didn’t he? He looked better, at least to me he did.” That was the best part of the day, for Koichi.

 

            “We’re taking a few days off.” Koichi and Tatsu were enjoying a quiet morning together. “Oh? Why? To let your husband know you’re still married?” snarked Koichi.

“I’m sure my husband knows we’re still married, I reminded him three times last night, and he said yes, over and over, all night.” Tatsu said smugly. “There should be no doubt about our marriage.”            

Koichi blushed, he was still a bit sore from the previous night’s love making session. “Okay, if it’s not that, then why the break?

“Lunatic Fest is next weekend, Mucc is playing along with AKG, Vamps, Gazette and Buck Tick.” Tatsu anticipated a big reaction and was not disappointed.

“Buck Tick? HOLY SHIT! Do you think Taka and I could go with you? Taka could possibly pass out, just watching Sakurai -san.” This was exciting news for Koichi.

“Of course you’ll be there, not like I’m leaving you home alone, not for this live I wouldn’t.” Koichi got up and hugged Tatsu over the back of his chair. “Thank You! Shit, I’d better call Taka if he doesn’t al…” Before Koichi could finish his sentence, his phone rang, it was Taka,

                                  “KOU! BUCK TICK!!”

                                               Was all that Taka said and then hung up.

 

            Taka and Koichi were nervous, it was Lunatic Fest, they were there, back stage no less. The two friends found a small niche just off stage, where they could see the bands, but the crowd couldn’t see them. The niche had a back wall, and Koichi felt safer, knowing someone couldn’t sneak up behind him. All through the show, Sato and Tatsu kept checking in on the two friends, making sure they were safe. Ruki had seen Koichi, went over to hug him, then dashed away. During Gazette’s set, Ruki would dance near the hiding spot, leaving both Taka and Koichi in giggles. “He’s so different when he’s on stage, totally not the Ruki we know.” Observed Taka. “He’s the real Ruki when he’s off stage, this is Live Ruki.”

            As the day wound down, the crowd and the other bands were becoming charged, it was getting closer for Buck Tick. Most everyone wanted to see the legendary Atsushi Sakurai perform, he was the epitome of walking sex. Ruki had come to sit next to Koichi and Taka, they sat and gossiped like school girls.

            “Acchan is SO fuckable! I would love just one night, I’d let him fuck me six ways to Hell and back!” Koichi giggled, he knew that this was Ruki being Ruki. But Taka, he was almost cumming in his pants, fanboying hard for Sakurai.

            The lights dimmed, the crowd started chanting “Acchan” as the members walked on stage. As Sakurai walked by, he noticed the three young men sitting just off stage. He nodded to Ruki and Koichi, but when he saw Taka, he winked and licked his lips suggestively. Taka’s cock throbbed, he knew that’s the effect Sakurai wanted from him. Koichi had seen the exchange.  _Hmm, this is not the first time Acchan has done something like this to Taka, what gives?_

            Buck Tick’s performance was flawless. Ruki and Koichi fanboyed over the super cute Yutaka, and Taka of course was in nothing less than fanboy ecstasy. Buck Tick was legendary for a reason, the persona of the dark exotic devil, played perfectly by Sakurai, had everyone ready to pledge their life or their death to him. Sakurai had some sort of power over people, he easily drew them in, mesmerizing them, locking eyes, the crowd was rendered helpless. This was the love affair that Sakurai and Buck Tick had with their fans.

 

            Buck Tick had finished and as the crowd filed out, the backstage area was a frenzy of stage crews, breaking everything down. Just as Sakurai was walking off stage, he stopped in front of Taka, who had already stood up. Sakurai leaned in and whispered something to him, making the younger man turn bright red. He then bowed to Koichi and Ruki, leaving them to retire backstage.

            “Taka! What did he say to you?” Ruki was holding Taka’s hand. “Um…” _Shit, what do I say_? “He just reminded me that he promised Sato and I dinner at his house, and that he was looking forward to it _.” Well, that’s partially true_. Koichi wasn’t buying that, not all of it. He did know about the card Sakurai had sent Taka, but why would Taka would be that nervous?

            “ _I want you, Taka-kun. I want that petite ass of yours, I want it for myself, will you give it to me_?”

            _Shit! How does it go from not being wanted, to being wanted by two different men? Fuck I have no clue._

 

            “How did you like Buck Tick?” Tatsu and Koichi were on the drive home after Lunatic Fest. “They were amazing! Sakurai-san is super sexy!” Tatsu made a small rude sound, “So, I’m not sexy?” he tried to pout.

            “You’re my sexy, Acchan is everyone’s sexy, untouchable sexy, no mere mortal can touch him, sexy.”

            “I’m just teasing Kou. You’re right though, Acchan is sexy, really sexy. But I’ll stick to my adorable Kou…if that’s alright with you?” Koichi leaned across the seat and kissed Tatsu’s cheek. “That’s why I married you.”

           

            “Mm…I missed you today. It was pretty crazy back stage, did you and Kou have a good time?” Sato and Taka had just walked into their flat. Taka was trying to feed a screaming Eddy, Sato unpacking his bag. “Vamps were amazing, so was Gazette of course, We liked the energy of AKG, and Buck Tick? Pfft, I don’t have to tell you how fucking amazing it was. Sakurai is just so…” Taka was trying to act as normal as possible, afraid that Sato may figure out that something was wrong. “I’m glad you had fun, but I’m beat, so I’m going to shower, I be in bed in a bit.” Sato left for the bathroom, leaving Taka sitting on the couch with Eddy.  “What do I do, Eddy?”

 

            _He can feel warm hands on his hips, sliding him down on the bed. He tries to sit up, but the same warm hand pushes him down. Hot wet mouth on his cock, teeth scraping. God this feels amazing! Why can’t I see his face? Mm… lick me please, fuck me…who are you?... oh god, …I’m, shit...I’m going to cum! Who? Mmm…you taste…fuck please…Acchan, fuck me harder_!

            Sato rolled over, not sure what he had heard, Taka was whimpering in his sleep. He put his arms around Taka’s waist, snuggling close. Just closing his eyes, Taka says something, but sleep is pulling Sato down quickly, he never heard anything more.

            Taka woke up exhausted from a night filled with erotic dreams of Sakurai, leaving him pale and drawn. “Pet? Are you not feeling well? You look terrible.” Sato knew Taka had been restless during the night, but not the reason. “I don’t feel great, what are you plans for today?” Taka was hoping Sato would leave for the day, so he could sleep. “Just going to the studio, not a full day though. You should go back to bed, take Eddy with you.” Sato hugged his boy, kissing him on the forehead and pushed him off to bed.

            Taka dropped off to sleep almost as soon as he got in bed, knowing his restless dreams would return.

  _What’s wrong with me? I love Sato! Why does it have to be him? Why Sakurai? Dreams of Sakurai, binding him to a table, playing with his body in a delicious dance of light pain. Sakurai whispering to him, telling Taka that he is his new master, he will collar him and keep him forever. Taka see’s Sato, standing alone, tears streaming down his face. Why Pet? You said you loved me…Why Taka? Koichi’s image appears, he is shaking his head. Shame on you Taka! Shame on you for leaving me. You said you loved me. Sakurai telling him, no one else mattered. Not Koichi, not Sato, only Sakurai mattered. He was taking Taka away, only you and I, just us. You will need no one but me. I’m the only one that truly loves you. Sakurai stroking Taka, touching his hardness, biting his neck, leaving his mark on Taka. No one will ever touch you again. Your self- worth is tied to me, no one will want you, if you leave me. Sato wont’ take you back, you’re spoiled goods, not even Koichi will want you. Sakurai is whispering in Taka’s ear, over and over, you belong to me. I will fuck you into the wall every day. You will only obey me, no one else. But do you love me? Will you love me? Sakurai walks away, laughing_.

            “Tadaima, Taka.” It wasn’t terribly late, when Sato returned from the studio. Certainly not late enough for the flat to be dark, as if everyone had gone to bed. “Pet?” turning on the lights, Sato looks for signs of life from Taka. “Shit, he must be sick.” Walking to their bedroom, he finds a crying, but still sleeping Taka. Sato pauses for a moment, as Taka is talking in his sleep.

            “Please…no, I don’t want…he loves…Koichi, no!” Sato leans from his side of the bed, trying to gently wake Taka from his obviously distressing dream. “Taka, pet, wake up. I’m home, baby, wake up.” Sato is patting Taka lightly. “WHAT?....um” Taka turns over, opening his eyes, looking confused. “Pet, you were having a bad…” He never got to finish, as Taka grabbed him, throwing his arms around Sato’s neck. “Please…don’t let him take me away from you! I love you! Don’t let him become my new master!” sobbed Taka. “New master? What are you saying? Who is taking you away from me?”  Sato pushed his boy away, at arm length, searching Taka’s eyes for clues. “Sakurai, he wants to take me away from you! He told me that…at Lunatic! Please, I don’t want to go with him! Don’t let him take me away from you…PLEASE!” Sato held his trebling lover tightly, reassuring him that no one would do such a thing _. Why would Acchan say that? Was he really staring at Taka at the last party_?

            It took a while for Sato to calm Taka enough to explain what happened at Lunatic.  “He came off stage and whispered in my ear. He said he wanted me and my petite ass for himself.” Taka was blushing. He was worried what Sato may say. Sato wasn’t sure what to think. This was not the first time Sakurai had made suggestive comments to and about Taka. “Do you want me to talk to him? Tell him to stop?”

            “I…um, but he’s Sakurai Atsushi! Uh…maybe Miya or Tatsu could talk to him instead?” This was an odd request, “Why not me? You’re my boyfriend, I should be the one!”

            “No! I don’t want you to talk to him. You’ll just get all mad…I don’t want to start trouble! I just want him to stop…” Taka’s eyes were pleading with Sato.  “Alright, I’ll have Tatsu talk to him, he knows Sakurai better than the rest of us.” Sato was hoping this was just a game, gone wrong with Sakurai, as he knew nothing of Taka’s past. Taka cooked them a light dinner and they went to bed early, with Taka clinging to Sato.

 

            “Hey, can you do me a huge favor?” Sato had pulled Tatsu off to a corner, “Yah, sure what’s up?” Sato then explained what was going on. “Oh, wow! I’m sure Acchan is just flirting, but he doesn’t know anything about Taka really, or what he’s gone through in the past.” _Neither do you, my friend_.  “Yes, I will call him, I won’t get into details of course, but I’ll make sure he understands.” Sato was more than just relieved, “Thanks, buddy.”

            _“Tatsu said he will talk with Sakurai, call me later, I love you_.”

            _“Acchan? Tatsu, I have a request. No! Not for tickets, well maybe later. No, it’s about Sato’s boyfriend, Taka. Your flirting with him is a bit…um…well, it’s scaring him. Yes, I know you don’t. He’s had a very rough love life in the past, no I won’t go into detail. But Sato, well he proposed to Taka during our last tour. There really is no way you would have known. I’m sure neither will hold it against you. Yes, I’ll be sure to tell them. Thank you, Acchan_.”

            “Okay, I will, thanks again Tatsu.” Sato hung up his phone, turning to Taka, “Sakurai wants you to know, he’s very sorry, he had no idea we were engaged. He apologized for being overly flirtatious and it won’t happen again. Pet do you feel better now?” Taka wanted to believe that Sakurai was going to stop, but deep down, he knew it would continue.

           

            The short break for the Lunatic fest was a much- needed boost for the members of Mucc. Wrapping up the initial recordings, tweaking the production and editing, two weeks after Lunatic Fest, the new Mucc album was finished. To celebrate, DCR has a small gathering at the studio, with a larger party scheduled for the release. Everyone is still anxious, security at the studio has prevented any random people from entering the building.

            “You worry too much, I’m fine, really.” Shinya was pleading with Miya to let him go to the studio. “I need this! It’s been months since I’ve sat behind my kit! Please? You can drive me and hold my hand and watch my every move!” smirked Shinya. “Hold your hand? Really babe? You think I’m that bad?” Miya rolled his eyes, “Yes, you’re that bad, but I wouldn’t change that for the world. Now, when will you take me?”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allusion to rape.

“Do you really think we can pull this off? Kou’s pretty smart, he’s going to notice something.” Sato and Tatsu were attempting to plan a surprise trip for Taka and Koichi to an onsen. “If we try to prepare everything ahead, we should be able to kidnap them. If you can get Taka to come over, you can pack for him. While he and Koichi are distracted, I can try to pack for Kou. We really won’t need much, it’s an onsen, we’ll be half naked the entire weekend.

            “Come on, get in, we’re going for a short drive.” Sato had his car at Tatsu’s flat, trying to get everyone into the car. “Where are we going?” Koichi knew something was up. “Just a damned drive Kou, sheesh, don’t you trust me?”

            “No, not really.” Snarked Koichi. “Sato, what’s up? We’ve never just gone on a drive, what are you two planning?” Taka didn’t believe his boyfriend either.

            “You too, Pet? It’s nice weather, just a good day for a drive.”

            Taka and Koichi both knew that this was not just a drive. “I KNEW it! You both lied!” was Taka’s response as Sato pulled up at the onsen.  “Why not just tell us? Why all the effort to hide it?” Koichi was sulking. “Because, we really wanted to surprise both of you, and that’s difficult for Sato and I to pull off.” Tatsu was a little hurt by Koichi’s attitude. “If you’re not happy, we can cancel and just go home.” Sato actually looked serious. “We never said we weren’t happy” Taka said quickly, “We’re happy…see?” Koichi and Taka gave their lovers cheesy grins. “God! Stop it you two!” Sato and Tatsu laughed. “Let’s go get checked in, I need a hot shower.” Tatsu led the way, with Sato grabbing their bags.

            “This is the best thing EVER! I could sit here all day, just bring me food.” Taka was sitting in a hot spring pool, water up to his chin. “Can you use the rock star thing so we can have one of these at the flat?” Sato smiled, he loved Taka, loved seeing him happy. “Pet, if we lived in a house, probably. But in a flat? Nope, rock star or not, can’t put a hot spring in a second story flat.” Taka started blowing ‘boo’ bubbles as his face disappeared under the water.

            “Mm…this is wonderful, thank you.” Koichi was learning against Tatsu’s chest in their own private pool. “Kou, babe, please don’t wiggle too much, um…you’re making me incredibly hard right now.” Tatsu was having a difficult time reining in his lust. “It’s incredibly rude to fuck in a pool at an onsen, so stop wiggling that tiny ass of yours, against my dick, please.” Koichi was wearing a wicked smile. “Maybe I want to wiggle against your dick. Are you going to force me to stop?” Tatsu grabbed Koichi and spun him around to face him, “Maybe, but I don’t think much force will be necessary.” Koichi was grinding his ass against Tatsu’s cock, forcing his lover to moan, “God, Kou, you’re so beautiful.” Tatsu moaned. “But if you don’t stop grinding on me, I’m…” Koichi was licking Tatsu’s neck, nipping at the soft skin near the collarbone, wanting to leave his mark. Tatsu’s head is back, exposing his throat, “Shit…Kou…” growling Tatsu sweeps Koichi up, stepping out of the pool, he takes Koichi back inside their room. Stopping on front of the bed, Tatsu kisses Koichi, moaning in his lover’s mouth. “Fuck, Kou, we need…I need,”

            Tatsu lays Koichi on the bed, straddling him, he can’t hold back, “Now…I need you right now” he purrs. Grabbing a bottle of lube off the night table, Tatsu drizzles it over Koichi’s cock, watching it drip down to his hole. “Please…” Koichi begs. Tatsu lubes up his cock, reaching down, he drags Koichi’s ass into his lap. With no prep, no hesitation, he plunges into Koichi’s tiny ass.

            Koichi moans “Yessss…” in pain, but knowing the pleasure is coming. No words, just whispers of love mixed with passionate sounds. Both are so hungry for each other, neither lasts long, Koichi cums without even being touched, Tatsu is frantic in his thrusts. “Kou, baby…I can’t hold…” Tatsu empties his load, while Koichi is coming down from his orgasmic high. Hard breathing, soft kissing and murmured love is all that is heard.

 

            “Pet, I don’t think you should do that, you may drown.” Taka was attempting to give Sato an underwater blowjob, which wasn’t going well for him. “But, I wanted to see if I could do it” he stammered between coughs. “Well, now you know you can’t.” Climbing into Sato’s lap, Taka wrapped his arms around Sato’s neck. “I love you…you know that, yes?” Sato cocked his head, “Yes, Taka, I know you love me.” When Sato said Taka’s name, instead of using his nick name of Pet, tears started to form. “Taka I love you, and I’ll keep you forever, I promise.” Pulling Taka up against this chest, Sato kissed his boy, holding him tightly. Just breathing in the wet salty scent. Moving away, Taka smiled and stood up, leaving the pool. Looking back at Sato, he winked.

            Lying on the bed together, the lovers ran their hands over the other’s body, kissing passionately. Sato gently rolled on top of Taka, pulling the boy’s arms up over his head. “Wait…” Taka whispered, “No scene, please? Just make love to me, don’t fuck me, show me how much you truly love me.” Sato’s face softened, “Oh, god of course baby, whatever you want.” The tender love making, was a scene better suited for an onsen. To the lover’s their orgasms seemed more intense, more fulfilling than either remembered before. Lying together, the room slowly darkened, Sato and Taka were silent, no words needed for the moment.

 

            The two couples met for a relaxing dinner, all four were famished after their afternoon spa sessions. “Do we have plans for tomorrow? Any suggestions?” Koichi had a small pamphlet. “There is an old shrine, um…walking distance from here. Oh! They have a gift shop!” Tatsu sighed and smiled at his petite husband, “Well that’s settled, if there’s a chance for shopping, Kou’s all in.” Koichi stuck his tongue out at Tatsu, who then leaned over and grabbed the front of Koichi’s yukata and planting a sloppy kiss. “EWW! Get a room you two!!” Sato and Taka then resorted to making gross sex comments, which just fueled Tatsu to kiss Koichi even more.

            The group spent the next several hours eating and drinking, sake was flowing quite freely. Sato and Tatsu were taking about the new album, when they both realized that the two boyfriends had gone quiet. Looking over at the table, Taka and Koichi both had their heads on the table, sound asleep. “Guess we should get them to bed, if we don’t, hangovers will be on the schedule for tomorrow.” Tatsu kissed Koichi awake, Sato rousing Taka. They said their good nights and went to their rooms.

            “I haven’t slept that good in ages!” The couples had risen late, sleeping in just for the joy of relaxing.  “Do you mean to tell me, that you don’t sleep well with me?” Sato looked hurt. “NO! That’s not what I meant at all. I always…well mostly sleep better with you, then anyone else. Shit! I mean I only sleep with you…” Taka groaned and hid his face in his hands. “I’m going back to bed and start over” he mumbled through his hands.

 After having a lovely brunch, set up by the onsen, the foursome started for the shrine. Koichi was anxious to see the gift shop, Taka and Sato went to make offerings, leaving Tatsu alone, sitting on a bench, quietly watching his friends and other tourists. _This has been the most relaxing weekend we’ve had in a long time_.

            Sato and Taka met up with Tatsu, who was still waiting for Koichi. “I’ll go see what’s taking him so long.” Taka offered. “He seems better, the thing with Sakurai scared him, didn’t it?” Tatsu wasn’t prying, but he was happy to see that Taka had returned to his own normal. “I don’t think Sakurai meant any harm, that’s not like him.” Sato was still concerned. “Taka’s had a pretty fucked up relationship history, some of it seriously fucked up.” Tatsu understood and let the topic drop.

            After about thirty minutes, Taka and Koichi returned, both carrying multiple bags. “Is there anything left in the store, Kou?” Tatsu counted ten bags. “Well yes, Mr. Sarcastic Ass, but with that attitude I may have to return some of your gifts.” Snarked Koichi. Turning to Taka, “Some people’s manners, can you believe them?”  Tatsu could see Koichi wink and smile at Taka. “Okay, Okay, lay off. Let’s go back to the onsen, I think I need to soak my wounded soul.”

 

            Taka and Koichi were walking ahead of Sato and Tatsu, their heads together talking, “Pretty fucking perfect, right?” Sato looked at Tatsu, “I don’t think anything could be more perfect than right now, and you and I are damned lucky.” I need the keys to the car, please.” Taka was standing with Koichi. “We need to hide this stuff, Kou doesn’t want Tatsu to see it.” Sato handed him the keys. “Be careful” Taka winked at Kou, “Yes, Otosan.” That earned Taka a slap on the ass.

 

            _“Oh my god…no, please, not again! Not him! Are you sure? Fuck, they’re both going to be devastated, okay, we’ll be leaving right away, thanks Miya._ ”

 

            Taka and Kou were discussing bedroom secrets when they went back to Sato’s room. Walking in, they stopped, they both knew…just by the look on the faces of their lovers. “Who?” whispered Koichi, looking down, shaking. “Uta”, Tatsu replied softly. “At the HBG, last night.”

            “HOW? THE HBG IS CLOSED! HOW DID UTA GET ATTACKED IF IT WAS CLOSED? WHY?”

            Taka was hysterically shouting. “We’ll explain it, but right now we need to leave.” Sato hugged Taka, “Pet, get your things, we need to leave.” Koichi turned and walked to their room, Tatsu following. “Kou? Talk to me baby, you need to talk to me, don’t go quiet on me.” Koichi turned, looking at Tatsu, there were no tears this time, but his eyes were void of emotion, and that scared Tatsu.


	36. Chapter 36

            “Last night was a surprise soft re-opening of the HBG. Uta and Aki were working.” Tatsu was holding Kou in his arms, as Sato drove them back to town. “It was going to be an un-advertised open, no promotion.” Koichi had not spoken, he was looking at his hands, sitting quietly. “Aki was there, working with Uta, but Uta was scheduled to lock up, Aki left not more than ten minutes before Uta.” Now Tatsu was tearing up, but angry tears of frustration. “The owner found Uta this morning. He went in to do paperwork. He heard a sound, Uta was in a corner, behind the supply shelves.”

            “The door was locked, everything looked normal. Uta was barely breathing. They were all silently crying. “He’s at the hospital, Aki called Miya.” It seemed like hours until they reached the hospital. There was a nurse waiting for them. “Detectives Aoyama and Fujioka are already there, everyone is in the same room as before.”

            Walking into the same room they had previously used seemed surreal to them. First Kou, then Shinya, now poor little Uta. A man and a woman were sitting on a couch, speaking with the police. Koichi assumed they were Uta’s parents. He left Tatsu, walking slowly over to the couple. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt, my name is Koichi, I wor…” before he could finish, Uta’s parents stood up and drew Koichi into a hug. “We know, Koichi, Uta has spoken about you often. Always with great emotion. Thank you for coming.” Uta’s mother then kissed Koichi on the forehead, before sitting down.

            Koichi had been fine, up until that single kiss. The words and the kiss from Uta’s mother, pushed Koichi over the edge. Walking towards Tatsu, Koichi started to white out, the last thing he heard, was Tatsu’s voice calling him.

            Tatsu was torn in two, looking after Koichi, and need to speak to the detectives. “Taka, please, stay with Kou, I need to talk to the police.” Taka sat next to Kou, looking pale and uneasy.

            “Do you know anything yet, Detectives? Is it him?” Aoyama was visibly shaken over this latest attack. “Without being able to speak to the victim, we can’t officially declare it’s the same suspect. But we are all fairly certain it is.” Just as the detective was going to continue, the doctor arrived.

            Speaking in low voices, the doctor spoke with Uta’s parents, his mother finally collapsing on to the floor. Everyone in the room rushed to her and helped her to the couch. The doctor then conferred with the police then left the room. A nurse came in and then took Uta’s parents to ICU to see their son. Both detectives came to speak with Tatsu and Sato. “Uta is alive, but just barely. We assumed that if the suspect were to strike again, that the victim may not survive.” Looking at Koichi, who was finally awake, Aoyama, squatted down in front of him. “Koichi, we’re going to catch this fucking bastard!” he growled “I refuse to let this mother fucker hurt anyone else!” Fujioka laid a hand on his partner’s shoulder. “Yes, we all feel the same, Aoyama has a younger brain and vocabulary than some of us old farts. We will apprehend the suspect…and he will pay for these attacks, with as harsh as sentence as can be applied.”

 

            Sato and Taka were leaving, making a run to both flats, feeding cats then coming back with food for everyone. Uta’s parents had returned to the waiting room, his mother looking ashen and frail. Uta’s father spoke to Koichi and Tatsu. Bowing deeply, he thanked Koichi, “Uta often spoke of you and your husband.” This amazed Koichi, for an older man, he had no problem using the word ‘husband’. “Uta is very fond of Taka as well. He would tell us stories about his friends and that they dated famous musicians.” Turning and bowing to Tatsu, “I’m sorry, I don’t know of your band.” He looked over at his wife, “Back when I was a younger man, my favorite band was X. There was just something about _Hide_ , that all the guys wanted to be like him. It was a great loss when _Hide_ passed.” Tatsu returned the bow. “Uta is a beautiful and kind boy. I am devastated that you and your wife have to go through this.”

            Aoyama asked to speak with Tatsu, drawing him into a corner. “I didn’t want Koichi to hear this. Uta was also raped, as well as being beaten.” Tatsu groaned, “Fuck” looking over at Koichi, knowing what he went through, Uta’s parents are in for a hard future.

            “Uta has some facial fractures, a collapsed lung, skull fracture, one leg is broken and his pelvis is fractured. The skull fracture and the collapsed lung nearly killed him. The suspect is ramping up the damage he’s inflicting, Uta nearly died last night.”

            Both Tatsu and Aoyama looked at Koichi, who was sitting with Uta’s parents, comforting his mother. “I’ll wait to tell Kou until we go home. He doesn’t need to hear all that now.” Aoyama excused himself. Tatsu walked over to Koichi, he pulled him up, wrapped his arms around his boy, “Let’s go home” Bowing to Uta’s parents, the couple walked away.

 

            Koichi was quiet and somber. He couldn’t help feeling partially responsible for what happened to Uta. Tatsu sensed this, “It’s not your fault. Remember what Kyo said to you when Shinya was attacked?

  _“It’s not, you know.” Koichi looked puzzled. “It’s not your fault, I know that’s what you’re feeling, but it’s wrong_.”

            Koichi nodded, but remained silent. Arriving at the flat, Koichi felt dead tired, but he had to ask, he had to know. Waiting for Tatsu to finish his nightly routine, they fell into bed, Tatsu holding him close. “Will you tell me? I need to know.” Tatsu hesitated, “Are you sure? It’s pretty horrific.” He didn’t want to tell Kou, “Yes I need to know.”

            Tatsu went through Uta’s injuries, one by one, giving Kou what little information he had, then he stopped. “Kou, Uta was raped, he had some of the same internal injuries you had.” Tatsu waited, knowing it would eventually come. When Kou finally let go, it was one of the saddest cries Tatsu had ever heard. Not wailing but a deep gut wrenching sorrow. He couldn’t make it better, or make it go away, he could just hold his boy tenderly, wishing he could absorb some of Koichi’s pain.

 

            It had been five days since Uta’s attack. He was healing physically, broken bones set, skull fracture scanned, collapsed lung on the mend. Uta’s parents were still with him every day, as well as friends stopping by to check on the young man. Uta’s parents had a serious discussion with the owner of the HBG. The owner, on meeting Uta’s parents, fell to his knees, to beg forgiveness. Uta’s father, who was a reasonable man, held no ill will, begging the other man to stand. “My son chose to work for you. There is only one guilty person in all of this, the sick bastard who is preying on people. If it would not have been Uta, it would have been Aki, or someone on the patio.” The owner of the HBG, once standing hugged Uta’s father, thanking him. “If the HBG ever opens again, I promise, my employees will be fully protected, even if I must work every shift, every day.”

            DCR had sent out an email to every individual of every band, stating that they were required to submit to police interviews. If any single person refused to cooperate, they would no longer remain in their band, and removed from DCR, and would instantly become suspect. DCR made a public statement to the press, that until further notice, no bands on the DCR roster, would be performing. For the most part, the bands accepted these terms, the bands that made noise about it, their names were given to the police, and they were interviewed again.

 

            The police interviews took weeks to complete, with road crew and back stage crew interviewed as well. Detective Aoyama personally interviewed Aki and Uta, although Uta remembered nothing. “Aki left, I closed the office door, I reached to turn off the lights…that’s it, I woke up here.” Aki was guilt ridden, blaming himself, “I should have just waited for you! I’m so sorry Uta-kun!” Aki was well liked by Uta’s mother, happy to know her quiet boy, had such outgoing and loyal friends.”.

            “I just don’t understand why they haven’t figured out who is doing this, it’s creepy. He attacks, then blends in with society.” Taka and Koichi were sitting at Taka’s table, eating lunch. “He is either very good, or it’s someone we know, or know of.” Koichi was tired, run down, and sickly. He had lost close to 3kg and on his small frame, it was noticeable. Stress had taken his appetite away, he worried over everything, slept little and a as a result, always had a cold or fever. Tatsu had resorted to bribery to get Koichi to eat properly. “I will buy you anything you want, if you just eat three normal meals today, please Kou, eat.” As beautiful as his boy was, the dark circles under his eyes and grayish flesh tone, Tatsu was terrified of losing his tiny husband, he could no longer see, his adorable Kou.

            Throughout the weeks following Uta’s attack, the police interviewed dozens of people. Band members, road crew, stylists and the families of all DCR employees. But they came up empty handed. With the holiday tour season coming up, DCR had not revoked the edict on lives. For the larger bands this wasn’t much of a problem, it was the smaller bands that were having a rough go. DCR had started issuing per diem checks in for the smaller bands to survive.

            “HAH! Beat you again, old man!” Koichi had taken to playing video games to pass the time, since he didn’t want to leave the flat. The big mistake was Tatsu challenging him in these games. “Old man? Really? You think I’m old?” Koichi instantly felt bad. “No, I don’t think you’re old. I think you’re handsome, sexy as fuck, talented, did I say sexy as fuck?” It had been a rough few months since Uta’s attack. Koichi had been sick, and less interested in sex, Tatsu worried so much, that he would do anything to make Koichi smile, and he went overboard in every idea he came up with. “What do you want for lunch?” Getting up, Koichi went to the kitchen and looked in the pantry. “Um…I want pancakes, will you make them for me, please?” Grabbing Koichi around the waist, and kissing his neck, Tatsu agreed.

            “I’m going to go get the mail, I’ll be right back, and yes, I’ll be very careful.” As Koichi walked to the door, he picked up his bat, a practice he had recently started. Coming back in, he was leafing through the mail. “Junk, bill, bill, junk…oh, one for you.” He tossed the letter on the table, “Looks like a fan letter.” Tatsu knew it wasn’t, all fan mail went to the studio. Turning off the stove, he picked up the letter. He opened it, and started to swear.

“MOTHER FUCKER!! Kou, get me the phone, NOW!” Koichi froze, “Why…Tatsu, what?” Tatsu showed the letter to Koichi, as he was dialing the phone.

 

                                                YOU THINK YOU’RE CLEVER?

                                                YOU THINK MUCC IS ON THE TOP WITH DCR?

                                                MUCC IS NOTHING!! YOU’RE NOTHING!!

                                                I WILL KILL YOU AND HURT EVERYONE YOU LOVE!!

 

            “Miya, get everyone over here, NOW! Just get your ass over here.” Koichi shrunk back from Tatsu, he had never heard him raise his voice like that to Miya. Tatsu was storming around the flat, swearing, throwing pillows, cat toys, anything that wouldn’t break. “That mother fucker thinks he can threaten me in my own home?”

            Miya and Shinya arrived at the same time as Sato and Taka. All four saw the wrath that Tatsu was feeling. “Here, I just got THIS!” Just as Tatsu was showing the letter to Miya, Yukke and Kai arrived. Shinya looked at Koichi, wo was sitting at the table in stunned silence. Shinya caught Tatsu’s attention, then looked at Koichi. Tatsu muttered something under his breath, standing behind Koichi, he wrapped his arms around the shaking young man. “It’s okay, Kou, I’ve got you…he can’t get to us.” Whispering in Koichi’s ear.

            “Have you called the police yet?” Miya was back in Leader-san mode. “I wanted you to see it first.” Miya got his phone out and went onto the balcony to call the police.

            _“Detective Aoyama? Could you please come to Tatsu’s flat? Yes, he received something in the mail, yes that’s fine, thank you_.”

            “They should be here within the hour.”


	37. Chapter 37

“I think we need to go with a different tactic, than we are using now. What we’re doing is obviously not working.” Detectives Fujioka and Aoyama were looking at the threatening letter. “He seems to be focused on you and your band. That leads me to believe that the suspect is connected to the industry, either directly or indirectly.” Rereading the letter, Aoyama started to dig. “Is there anyone you’ve had problems with? Any creepy fans, male or female?” Miya looked at the others. “I haven’t, our fan letters go through DCR and are screened. That’s not known to the fans though, so we wouldn’t have seen any suspect letters.” Aoyama made a note of this. “Band wise” Miya continued, “there’s no one we can think of, not that has a problem with Mucc.”

            The detectives wrapped up the interview and took the letter with them. “We’ll be calling DCR, as about the fan letters, if that turns up nothing, we’ll need to come up with something else.”

                       

            Tatsu and Koichi are lying in bed, Koichi in Tatsu’s arms. “What do you think is the next step, if the police can’t find anything in the fan letters?” Koichi has his head on Tatsu’s chest, listening to his heart beat and breathing, soothing sounds for Koichi. “I’m not sure” Tatsu sighed, “if the guy is somehow related to the industry, it could be anyone, not just DCR bands.” Koichi thought about that, “Are there any bands, any at all, that you’ve had problems with?” Koichi couldn’t believe that was the case. “We’ve been together a long time, I don’t remember having any problems with anyone.”  Koichi wiggled to get as close as he could, against Tatsu’s body, with Tatsu tightening his grip on his boy.

           

            “ _Thanks detective, I’ll let him know. 1pm? Okay, we’ll be here.”_

            “Both Aoyama and Fujioka will be here. Evidently they’ve come up with a possible new tactic.” Everyone was at Tatsu’s flat, waiting on the police. “Let’s hear them out before we decide.” Tatsu was being the voice of reason, at least for now.

 

            “NO! FUCK NO! HELL NO!” The group and both detectives looked at Koichi, stunned at his volatile response to the new plan. “You will NOT use MY husband as BAIT!” Shinya tried to comfort Koichi, who shrugged him off. “NO Shinya, DON’T! There is no way in HELL that I will allow this, find someone else.” Tatsu was staring, open mouthed at Koichi. “Kou, the police woul…”

“NO! You are NOT being used as BAIT! HELL! FUCKING! NO!” Hurtful, burning tears were flowing, Koichi rubbing them away with the sleeve of his shirt. “Kou-kun, calm down” Kai was very shocked at Koichi’s outburst. “Kou-kun, we can come up with something else, we won’t send Tatsu out.” The plan had evolved when the owner of the HBG had contacted the police to see if he could help in any way. A plan had then formed; By using Tatsu as ‘bait’, they were hoping to draw out the rapist by having Tatsu sitting in the patio area of the HBG. There would be of course, a surveillance team in place, to assure that no harm would be done.

            “I could do it. I’m the next most likely victim.” Everyone turned, looking at Taka. “Everyone else has been attacked, I’m next, if we don’t catch him first.” “No Taka, I’m not willing to put you out there as bait either.” Sato’s voice was deep with concern. “I want to help! I feel useless. He chased me, remember? It’s the best plan!” Aoyama looked at Sato, “Taka’s right, if the rapist sees him, he may take the opportunity to finish what he attempted last year.”  Sato was not happy, but he had to agree, Taka was the best bait. “If I agree to this, there are going to have to be some conditions.” Aoyama nodded, “Of course.” Sato got up, and took Taka to stand in front of the detectives. “This is my life” he put his arm around Taka’s shoulders. “He is everything to me, above and beyond all others. IF I agree, I will be allowed on the surveillance team, I will NOT let him out of my sight, Is that clear?” Taka was starting at Sato, blushing a bright pink. “I think this can be arranged.”

            Aoyama was at a point, he would agree to anything to get this guy off the streets. “I’ll contact the owner of the HBG and we’ll pick some dates.” Aoyama picked up his papers and left. “Taka, are you sure? I mean, he almost killed Uta!” Koichi didn’t like this as an option either, any more than using Tatsu. “Kou, I’ll be okay…Sato will be there watching, I’ll be fine.”

 

            It was the first night of the surveillance. Taka had agreed to work a four- hour shift. There was no advance promotion or advertising on the re-opening of the HBG as to alleviate large crowds. The surveillance deployed several methods, to watch Taka, all cameras linked to a small both, right near the base of Tokyo Tower. The booth’s windows were covered by flyers and inside were Sato and two police technicians with monitors. A detective and a police woman in plain clothes, sat on the patio, drinking virgin high ball cocktails. In addition, Taka was wearing a hidden wire, recording all interactions with customers.

            With everything in place, Taka and the owner opened the HBG. After thirty minutes, the owner left Taka on his own. Sato was stressed, watching his boyfriend become a possible target. “I couldn’t do this, I can barely sit still normally.”  The first three nights, there were barely any customers, as it was well known the HBG had permanently closed. On a Saturday night, they thought they had found him. A slender man, with long black hair, in a black leather jacket, came to the counter and ordered a drink. As he turned to leave, Taka shook his head. “He was just a fan of that American band, The Ramones.”  The next few nights, there were no hits, very customers at all.

            A week later, on the last night, the owner of the HBG opted to stay open a little later. The surveillance team hoped that the later closing time might help. Sending the plainclothes police officers home, the patio area was empty. They waited. It was getting closer to closing, Taka left the building to walk the patio area, as he would normally do. He had fallen back into his work routine quickly, wishing he could eventually return to the HBG.

            Sato was watching Taka from the booth, watching the cameras, with ten minutes left until midnight, the police surveillance team started to pack up. Sato had stopped to talk to one of the officers, not noticing Taka had pulled the covers over the front counter, down. Checking the time Sato left the booth to get Taka. Rounding the corner, Sato froze; “TAKA!”  Sato saw Taka being dragged behind the dumpsters.

            “MOTHER FUCKER! TAKA!” Sato bellowed. The man had Taka on the ground, kicking him in the head, Taka was covering himself the best he could. Sato, at a dead run, tackled the man, pulling him off Taka. Sato turned for a second to look at Taka, that was the opportunity the man needed, he swung a fist, hitting Sato in the side of the head. Sato was slightly dazed, the man scrambled away, got up and ran, fleeing down an alley and into the dark.

            “SATO! I SAW WHO IT IS! IT’S MORRIE!

            “Taka, baby are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

            “It was Morrie! I saw him! We have to tell the police!”

            All Sato could think of, was Taka hurt? “Baby did he hurt you?” Standing up he pulled Taka into his arms,   “Oh god! I’m so sorry, Baby! Are you okay?”

            “Mmphfffine!” Sato was smothering his boy. “We need to tell the police!” Taka was yelling. “Okay, you’re sure it was Morrie? No doubt?”

            Taka nodded, “yes, 100% sure!”

            Sato got out his phone.

            _“Aoyama, we know who it is…It’s Morrie, just tell Tatsu. No, he ran off. Yes, five minutes or less, from the HBG, east, away from the Tower, Yes, we’ll be at Tatsu’s_ ”.

            “Are you sure you’re not hurt? Where is the blood coming from?” Sato was walking towards the car. “My nose, he hit me in the face just as I locked the door. I’m fine, let’s get to Tatsu’s.”

 

            Taka and Sato cold hear the loud voices of their friends, as they walked up to Tatsu’s door.   
“TAKA!” Koichi threw himself into the arms of his best friend. “Oh, my god, are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Koichi started to sob, it was just too much for the young man to handle. “Kou…I’m okay, see?” whispered Taka, “I love you, Koichi.” Taka wasn’t sure Koichi heard him. Sato was explaining what happened, just as the two detectives arrived.

            “HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?” shouted Aoyama, as he got into Sato’s face. “YOU LET THAT FUCKING MONSTER GRAB TAKA! YOU ASSHOLE! WHY DID YOU NOT HAVE ONE OF THE TEAM WITH YOU? AND YOU!” turning to Taka, “YOU STUPID FUCKING KID! THAT MONSTER COULD HAVE KILLED YOU! WHY DIDN’T YOU WAIT BEFORE YOU LOCKED THE DOOR?”

            Everyone was silent, shocked at what they just witnessed, even Detective Fujioka was stunned. Stunning them further, Aoyama grabbed Taka into a hug, tears fighting to fall. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again, you stupid kid.”

            No one said anything for a few moments. Regaining his composure, and falling back into his normal calm demeanor, the questioning began.

            “You’re sure it was Morrie, 100% sure?” he asked Taka. “100%, I remember him from a live last year, he was really creepy.” Shinya gasped, “Miya!” Miya’s eyes grew wide, “Shit, Shinya had a run in with Morrie that night, and before the show, he was complaining about his band opening!” Aoyama started writing, “What other bands played that night?” “Umbrella, Girgugamesh, and his band Creature, Creature, who, by the way, don’t even really like Morrie!” Miya was kicking himself. “Morrie is older, on the downside of his career, he’s bitter, I just never saw him as any sort of a threat. You must not have either, you interviewed him, right?” Aoyama nodded. “I agree that he’s creepy, not that I hold that against anyone, but he gave alibies that all checked out  on where he was, and he came across as worried for the DCR people.” 

            Shinya hugged his husband, “None of us believed he could be a threat. You may want to re-interview the band members, quickly. Now that he knows he’s been seen, he could go after those boys as well.”  Aoyama excused himself, and made a few phone calls, calling the precinct to put out a warrant on Morrie. The detectives spent more than three hours at Tatsu’s, before they were able to leave with as much information as they could obtain. “We have patrol units outside to follow you home, and they will be posted outside your homes, for at least the next 24-48 hours, or until Morrie is in custody.


	38. Chapter 38

 

            Miya had been on the phone all morning, getting up early, leaving Shinya and Miyu to sleep. Tatsu had also been up early, calling Miya.

            “How’s Kou? He looked pretty bad last night. Did he sleep at all?” Miya was asking questions he knew Shinya would ask. “He slept a little, moved around a lot, cried in his sleep, I’m worried about him, he’s so unhealthy.” Tatsu was tired, everyone was just worn out.

            “Shin was pretty much the same. I don’t know how many times he rolled over on poor Miyu.” As if on cue, Miyu came trotting up to Miya, yipping for her breakfast. “I’ll have Kou call Shin later.” Hanging up, Tatsu leaned back on the couch, closing his eyes, for just a moment.

            It was already 11:20 when Koichi finally woke up. Feeling the other side of the bed for Tatsu, it was cold and empty. He dragged himself out of bed, used the bathroom and padded into the living room, where he found Tatsu and Teo sleeping on the couch. Not wanting to wake his husband, Koichi quietly started making tea. Tatsu stretched out his long lean frame, “Ohayo, Kou, did you sleep a little better? I didn’t want to wake you, you were so restless last night.” Tatsu came walked into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Koichi’s tiny body.

            “I slept a little better once it got light. Have you spoken to anyone yet?” Bending down to pick up Teo, Tatsu told him about speaking to Miya and how Shinya was doing. “I wonder if anyone has talked to Uta’s parents yet…maybe I should call them later.” Tatsu leaned over to kiss Koichi, “I’m sure they’d appreciate that.”

            After looking out the window, and seeing the police car parked in front of the flat, Koichi made two more large cups of tea, and took them downstairs to the officers. Tatsu watched, smiling known that his adorable Kou, though to others before himself. “What?” Koichi looked at Tatsu when he came in. “Nothing, I’m sure they appreciated the tea.” Hugging Tatsu, “It was probably cold last night. If they’re here again tonight, I’ll make sure to get them a snack as well.”

            Feeling better after a shower and lunch, Tatsu sat on the couch, Kou’s feet in his lap, when his phone buzzed. “Aoyama”, he told Kou.

 

            _“Hello, Detective, yes we’re fine, thank you. Shit, have you told the others? Sure, we can do that, around 3:00, Umbrella and Girugamesh. Would one person from each band suffice? Ryo and Yui, yes, the same one. Let’s say 3:00pm then, if there is a change, I’ll call you. Yes, thank you_.”

            “Aoyama wants everyone here. He says he has information on Morrie.”

            _“Yes, I know. You’re welcome. Please tell Uta that I will come and visit him tomorrow. Yes, I will, bye_.”

 Koichi took a deep breath, telling Uta’s parents of the latest development had been difficult, but somewhat satisfying. 

            Members of the other bands, began to arrive, leaving Koichi no time to dwell on anything else. Ryo of Girgugamesh and Yui of Umbrella arrived together, surprising Koichi. In addition, Kyo arrived as well. “Hullo Kou, hope you don’t mind that I invited myself?” Koichi felt the urge, and followed through, hugging Kyo. “I’m glad you’re here, Kyo, I really am.”  The two detectives arrived, somewhat surprised at the size of the assembled group, but made no comment.

            “If you have not already been informed, we now have a suspect.” Aoyama began, “The vocalist from Creature, Creature, Morrie, we believe is responsible for all of the attacks.” There was silence in the room. “He attacked Taka last night, taking advantage of a small window in time, where Taka was vulnerable.” Aoyama was not going to mention why Taka had not been protected. “Sato found Morrie, beating Taka, but in the ensuing scuffle, Morrie managed to escape.” Taka was sitting with Koichi, but made no eye contact with Aoyama.

            “We now know, to some extent, where Morrie is at this time.” This drew a reaction from the group. “Morrie is now, in transit to New York.” This information shocked the group. “How do you know? Why New York?”

            “Morrie, in his early career, lived in New York for a time. He is familiar with the city, a place in which you can easily disappear if necessary. As soon as we knew the name of the suspect, we released the information to all international airlines, but unfortunately, he was able to board a flight that left at approximately 3:15am, bound for New York. We have contacted the local police and airport, and the FBI, as well, since Morrie is wanted for attempted murder. Morrie will be placed into custody as soon as he lands.”

            “What about his bandmates? Have you spoken to them yet?” Tatsu was simmering, just barely controlling his anger. “Yes, we have. No members of Creature, Creature are suspect, from everything they have told us, they had no idea what Morrie was doing, and we believe them.” Aoyama looked directly at Tatsu. “The band stated that Morrie kept a regular schedule, with no exceptions.”

            “I had a run in with him at that live last year. He claimed that Mucc was trying to wreck his band.” Ryo looked at Tatsu, “Tatsu, I’m sorry, I did tell the police when they interviewed me, but he obviously lied his way out of it. I honestly thought it was just Morrie being Morrie, a bitter, soon to be washed up vocalist. I’m so sorry.” Ryo felt horrible, everyone could see it. “Nobody blames you, Ryo. I’m sure none of us could expect it to be a member of DCR.” Miya spoke to Ryo directly.

            “So now what do we do? Just wait until they capture him?” Kyo was angry, he was standing behind Shinya. The small man was spikey with agitation. “Effectively? Yes. But the police will now start working with the courts in preparation for his trial. Be prepared for more interviews. Are there any more questions?” Aoyama answered a few more questions, then passed out his card to everyone, reminding them to contact the police with any information they may have. He excused himself, and left.

            “Was anyone really surprised it was Morrie?” There were both yes and no, murmurs. “After that live last year, Morrie actually shoved me against a wall.” Ryo couldn’t look anyone in the face. “He told me he was going to ruin Mucc. I blew it off as him being a bitter old drunk, I should have spoken up.”

            “Ryo-kun, we’ve all been on the receiving end of a Morrie rant, he just never acted on anything before. We don’t know what pushed him over the edge finally. Please, nobody here blames you or holds you responsible, I certainly don’t.” Shinya spoke softly, “Morrie is deranged, quite possibly mentally ill, not that it excuses anything he’s done. I believe it would have only been a matter of time before he lost control.”

            As the hour had gotten late, everyone excused themselves, leaving Tatsu and Koichi alone. “Kou? Feeling okay? Do you want me to order in dinner?” Tatsu was hoping Koichi would finally relax, knowing Morrie wasn’t in the country. “I want ramen, Ojisan ramen, please. Could we go and eat there?” Picking up his jacket, Tatsu had a genuine smile on his face. “Let’s go! Ramen and beer for dinner!”

 

            Sato sensed something was out of sorts with Taka, but still couldn’t pin point it. “At least for now, we can relax a bit. We know Morrie is not in the country.” Sato was gage Taka’s mood. “Mmm…” Taka was looking at the floor. “Taka, look at me.” Sato using his name brought him out of his daze. “What?” as he looked up. “You haven’t said five words since Aoyama yelled at you, what’s up?” Taka wasn’t sure how or even what he was feeling, he just knew he was feeling odd. “Um…I ‘m not sure, maybe just a weirdness since last night. I’m pretty wiped out. Maybe I just need to go to bed, is that okay?” Sato leaned over the back of the couch, kissing Taka, “Of course, Pet. I’ll probably be right behind you, just let me get Eddy fed.”

            For the next several days, the tension was still palatable, the fear still lingering. Aoyama had called everyone with an update. “Somehow, Morrie was able to slip past security at the airport, so he is loose in New York. Because this is now an international problem, the authorities in America know he is dangerous.”

            “Well, that fucking sucks!” Tatsu was not happy, “If he could get past the police here, and in America, who’s to say he can’t slip past again and come home?” As Tatsu is speaking, Koichi felt the fear rise up, once again. “I’m going to take a nap.” Koichi retreats to the only safe spot in his world.


	39. Chapter 39

“FUCK! It’s been three fucking weeks! I can’t stand all this fucking waiting!” Taka was getting antsy, tired of being stuck inside. Koichi felt the same, but was sick enough, he no longer cared. Taka was visiting, essentially to keep Koichi from spending the day in bed, which had become is preferred spot in the flat. He had almost lost another 5kg, his face ashen and his eyes were emotionless. “Want me to order in some lunch? I could really go for some pizza right now. Kou?” checking his friend, Taka grabs a blanket and covers his sleeping friend. “Kou…if you would let me…” Taka leaned down, pressing his lips to Koichi’s. “I love you Koichi” he whispers ever so softly. _I can’t help it Kou, it has always been you, it always will be, but I’ll never say it_.

            Taka remained at the flat, watching over Koichi, until Tatsu and Sato returned. “Tadai…” Taka shushed Tatsu. “He’s sleeping on the couch.” Tatsu nodded. “Did he eat?” Taka shook his head, “we had tea and some cookies, but that’s it. I was going to order pizza, when he fell asleep.” Sato and Taka gathered their things, and went home. Tatsu gathered his tiny husband in his arms and put him to bed. “How can I save you, Kou? You can’t leave me, please Kou…don’t leave me.”

 

            _“Shin, do you have any suggestions? Both of them? At the same time? Are you sure? That’s a weird combination for therapy. Okay, Thanks. I’m not going to tell him, so he can’t say no. Thanks Shin_.”

 

            Sitting on the couch, watching TV, Koichi had his feet in Tatsu’s lap. He was dozing off, waking for a while, then back to sleep. His appearance was startling. His hair was dull, his skin was beyond pale, but it was his eyes that told the true story. Tatsu was waiting for Koichi’s new therapy to arrive, hoping beyond hope, that this would pull Koichi back, if not, Tatsu was worried that Koichi may not make it.

            Hear the doorbell, Tatsu went to the door. “Hi, come on in, he’s on the couch.” Looking at Koichi, one gasped, the other groaned. Tatsu woke Koichi, “Kou, you have visitors.” Opening his eyes, Kou was surprised to see Ruki and Kyo. “What? Why are you here?” Ruki was the first to speak. “KOU! WHY! You can’t let that bastard win! I love you! Please, Koichi, don’t let him win! I need you! You love me! You love Tatsu, if you’re gone, who gets to have amazing sex with him? Please!” Ruki was crying, running his words, with no breath between. “Ruki, I um…” Koichi looked at Tatsu, then at Kyo. “He’s right Kou. You’re letting him win. You’re letting that fucker ruin your life.” Kyo walked over, sitting on the edge of the couch, “I never thought I would ever agree with anything this twit would ever say, but Ruki’s right.” At the word ‘twit’ Ruki stuck his tongue out at Kyo. “This tiny short man is right too, Kou.” Then it started.

            “We’re the same height, you air head! You always wear heels, I’m at least a man about being short.” Ruki snorted. “You’d look horrible in heels, I have sexier legs than you do!” Standing up, Kyo went for the kill. Starting to unbuckle his pants, “You might have sexier legs, but I have a bigger…” Tatsu screamed, “NO! KYO! DO NOT TAKE THAT OUT!”    

            During the exchanges, the three men failed to notice Koichi giggling behind his hand. Once the topic of Kyo’s well known endowment came up, Koichi burst out laughing. “Please, Kyo, I’ve heard stories, a lot of them. Nobody has ever doubted your…um…size.” Kyo snorted, “I wasn’t really going to …you know, whip it out.” Pointing at Ruki, “This twit might have fainted.” Tatsu finally stepped in, “Okay, now that the twit and Mr. Big have stopped, Kou, now do you understand?  Kyo and Ruki are right. I know the guilt is overwhelming, I have it too. But you’re letting Morrie win, you can’t do that. Kou, baby, you’re dying in front of me, slowly every day, every hour, you’re wasting away in front of me. Baby, I don’t want to lose you! Please, Kou… don’t let that mother fucker take you away from me!”

            Koichi had never even thought of the guilt he carried, as letting Morrie win, until Kyo and Ruki explained it. “Kou-kun, I love you, we have a commonality that all survivors of rape have. We will have to tell Uta that we love him too!” Kyo had an idea, that Ruki had been raped, but it was the first time he had heard the man actually say the word.

            “Kou, Ruki is right…again. You will have to help Uta, that boy is as frail and fragile as you, Ruki is the strong one, you two need to look to him for the strength after adversity.” Ruki looked at Kyo, “Thank you, Kyo. I appreciate what you’ve said, but, my legs are still sexier than yours.” Kyo got up and started to unbuckle his pants again. “KYO! NOT HERE!” Tatsu screamed.

            The two men stayed a while longer, still trading barbs and insults, but no pants were dropped, much to Koichi’s relief. As the two men left, Koichi heard Ruki, “Will you show it to me? I’ve heard rumors…” Kyo laughed, “Sure, right here? Right now?” Tatsu screamed out the window, “KYO! NO! NOT HERE!”

            Koichi was still giggling when Tatsu came back to the living room, his breath hitched at the sight and sound of Koichi’s giggling and his beautiful smile. “Would Kyo really have um…whipped it out?” Tatsu chuckled, “Possibly, who knows with him, I’m not sure how well he knows Ruki” Koichi had a wicked grin on his face. “I wonder if he’d show it to me?” “KOICHI! NO! DON’T ASK HIM! Jesus, what the hell am I don’t with all you perverts? Where’s my modest, adorable Kou?” Tatsu feigned distress. “Modest? Me?” snorted Koichi, rolling his eyes. Tatsu sat on the couch next to Koichi. “You’re not mad at me, are you? Shinya was the one who suggested this weird therapy.” 

            Kou leaned in and kissed his husband. “No, I’m not mad. What they said to me made perfect sense. I am letting Morrie win, I’m sorry. I should have known better, but it just hurts so damned bad, that I should have known who did this, that I could have kept Shinya and Uta safe. But now, it’s time for me to change into my big boy pants, and recover.” Tatsu snarked, “Big boy pants? What? Are you like 12? Seriously, you will probably have to testify at the trial. You need to get strong and healthy for that.” That was something Koichi had not thought about, facing Morrie at trial. How would that work? Would it be public? People would find out about all of the relationships! He needed to talk to someone, but not sure who.

 

Chapter break

 

 

 _“Yes detective, I’ll be here. Thank you_.”

            Koichi was worried, and the only person he felt like that he could turn to was Detective Aoyama. As he waited for the detective to arrive, his mind was in hyperdrive. Shinya and Miya, Yukke and Kai, Sato and Taka, how many others were there? He was terrified of exposing his friends, even others in the industry that he didn’t know.

Tatsu was out running errands when Aoyama arrived. “What can I do for you, Koichi?” Koichi liked the detective, from the very start, he felt comfortable around the man. “I’m worried, terrified actually, about the trial, after Morrie is found.” Aoyama was puzzled. “About what, Koichi? You will never face him on your own, you know that much, correct?” Koichi nodded. “About the trial, will I be called to testify, or Shinya?” Aoyama was still unsure where this was leading. “Well, I assume as much, since you were both attacked, why? Is there a problem?” Koichi blanched at the question, “Well, um…. what if…uh, what if the question of our private lives comes up? What if…what if they ask about Tatsu, or Miya? I mean, that could ruin the bands!”

Aoyama smiled, he found Koichi’s concern for his friends and their partners, very genuine. “We may have to talk to the judge prior to the trial. The situation in the industry is known to most of the legal community. They have had to deal with divorce and other related issues before. I’m sure this will be handled with extreme discretion.”  Koichi slumped back in his seat, relieved to know his friend’s secrets were safe.

           

            _Kou, I love you, I’ll never let you go, you’ll be with me, only me. He’s stretched out under me, he’s so fucking perfect, he’s mine. Push Sato away, he growls, at the same time, Kou is pulling him down into a sweet, erotic embrace. His lips taste sweet, he’s never tasted lips like this before. He moans against Kou’s lips. Taka I love you, fuck me, touch me like before, remember how good it felt when you fucked me with the vibe? Remember kissing me, I wasn’t thinking of Tatsu, it was you, it’s always been you, Taka. I love you Taka, I’ll keep you forever._

“Pet? Wake up.” Sato gently wakes Taka from what he thinks is another nightmare. “Are you okay? Bad dream?” Taka shifts in bed, trying to hide his erection from Sato. “Um…sorry. Was I being loud?” Sato kisses his forehead, “You were whining, that’s all. Love you.” As Sato turned over, “Mmhmm” Taka couldn’t say it.

 

            “We need to get out, I’m pissy.” Miya raised an eyebrow, wanting to reply, but he knew better. Shinya was pissy, they all were. It had been five weeks, and Morrie was still on the run. “Do you want to plan dinner? At the restaurant? Maybe invite the others?” This suggestion perked Shinya right up. “Oh! Yes please! We should be okay, in a group, public place, right?”  Miya nodded, he was getting cabin fever as well. “I’ll call everyone and set it up. Tomorrow night?” Shinya jumped into Miya’s lap, grinding on him just enough, “Um…can I call in a bit? I think we need to um…talk about his a little more, don’t you?” They spent the next hour ‘talking’.

            “Count us in! We need a night out, we’ll meet you there.”

            “Hell Yah! You don’t have to ask us twice.”

            “Kai said yes! He only wants to go so he doesn’t have to cook!”

            “Uruha and Reita can’t make it, have fun!”

 

            Pulling up to the restaurant the following night, Miya told Shinya that he had put out a general call that any DCR band was welcomed to join them. He also made a special call to the members of Creature, Creature.

            “It’s not their fault, it’s not right for us to blame Morrie’s actions on them.” Shinya was proud of Miya, he was taking a possible unpopular stance, in inviting the band. “I agree. They are not at fault. Thank you for including them. Oh…by the way, I love you.” Shinya smooched his husband on the nose.

            Just behind Miya and Shinya, were Kyo and Die. Shinya proceeded to warm them about their behavior. “Do NOT make trouble tonight, or I swear, I’ll beat the shit out of both of you.” This surprised Miya, although his lover had a delicate appearance, Miya knew better, as a drummer Shinya was surprisingly strong.

            “Yes, Okaasan, we’ll behave like good children.” Teased Die. “Shin, you shouldn’t bully your band mates” Tatsu and Koichi had just walked up and had heard the terse exchange. “Hello, Kou-kun, I’m glad to see you looking better.” Kyo kissed Koichi on the cheek. “Thanks, Kyo, you and Ruki made a lot of sense that day, I know better, now.” They moved into the restaurant, everyone yelling greetings. As Tatsu and Koichi sat down, Ruki ran and grabbed Koichi from behind, “Kou-kun!! I’m so happy to see you! Oh! You look so much better, even though I just saw you. Have you seen Kyo? He said he’d show IT to me tonight! There he is…bye, love you!”

            Koichi couldn’t help but giggle, “He’s going to be on a good Ruki rampage tonight.” Sato and Taka arrived, Taka hugging Koichi, “Hi! I’ve missed you!” Taka kissed Koichi on the neck, near his ear, which he thought was strange, what was even stranger was the breathiness of the kiss, almost a moan. “We need to hang out, now that you’re feeling better.” Koichi blew it off as Taka having missed his best friend. “Just call me whenever!”

            Everyone in the room were mingling between tables, all in high spirits. Miya noticed Hiro and Tetusya of Creature, Creature walk into the dining room. Miya walked quickly over to the men and walked them to the Mucc table. “We weren’t sure we should come” Hiro was nervous. “I already told you, nobody at DCR holds you guys responsible for what Morrie did. He acted on his own.” As if on cue, Kyo and Kaoru walked over and started talking to the two men, making sure they felt welcomed. It seemed to be a reunion style party, not quite what Shinya had asked for, but he wasn’t complaining. “Kou-kun, I hope you’re not upset with me for having Kyo and Ruki come over to your flat. I just thought those were the two people, who you may listen to. I’m sorry.” Koichi hugged Shinya tightly, “Nope, you did the right thing, thank you Shin. We need to include Uta in our little Ruki group, when he’s healed.”

            As dinner was being served, Ruki suddenly appeared next to Koichi, flustered. “Ruki, what’s wrong?” Koichi was concerned. “Can I talk to you in private, Kou-kun?” Moving to a corner, Ruki whispered to Koichi, “He did it!” “Who did what, Ruki?”

            “Kyo! He showed it to me!” Ruki’s eyes were sparkling brightly, and he was blushing hard. “Kyo did wh…OH! He did?” Koichi looked around, “And?”

            Ruki leaned in, “It’s fucking GIANT! It’s huge, Kou-kun!” Leaning back against a wall, the two men looked at each other, they both started to giggle like high school girls.

            “He asked if I wanted to touch it, I told him no way! It might grow!” Ruki had his hand over his mouth, trying hard to not laugh loudly.

            “But now what, Ruki? Do you…want to date Kyo?” Koichi assumed Kyo was into men, considering the running joke they had.

            “Date Kyo? Me? Nooo. But I’d love to ride that monster, just once!” Now it was Koichi’s turn to blush. “I’m going to go talk to Kyo again. Love you!” Ruki hugged Koichi and ran off in search of Kyo.

            “What was that all about?” Tats had watched the two friends with interest. Leaning over to whisper, Koichi explained. Tatsu gasped and face palmed. “I don’t think anyone could handle those two dating.” Koichi smirked, “I’m sure I’ll hear about it, if Kyo does fuck Ruki…should I tell you when it happens?” Tatsu was stunned, “Ruki would tell you? I mean like in detail?” Koichi nodded, “No Kou, I don’t want to hear anything about Kyo fucking Ruki, ever.”

            It was getting late, and the groups started to head home. “I was glad to see Hiro and Tetsuya show up, even if they didn’t stay long.” Miya was talking to Tatsu, “I hope they can continue with DCR, maybe reform under a new name.” Ruki and Koichi were in a huddle with Taka, giggling. Miya looked at them, then back to Tatsu, who rolled his eyes, “Don’t even ask.”

            As the valets started to bring cars to the curb, people were hugging and saying their goodbyes, “Ready Kou?” Tatsu opened the door for Koichi, who was waving at Ruki. Tatsu opened his door and had one foot in the car, when something slammed into him from behind. “What…” A sharp pain in his shoulder caused him to scream, falling to the ground in pain. Koichi looks over to see a black leather jacket, an arm and a knife. “TATSU!” Koichi screamed, total chaos ensued,

 

 

                                    TATSU!

WHAT THE FUCK?

                                    IT’S MORRIE! GRAB HIM!

 

                                                            KYO! HELP ME!

TATSU! TAKA!

                        FUCK YOU BASTARD!!

 TOSHIYA!

                                                                                    SOMEONE CALL THE COPS

 

                        AOI! HELP US! NOW! FUCKER THAT FUCKING HURT!

 

            KOU! IT’S OKAY! KOICHI LOOK AT ME!

            TATSU!

                                                                                    YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

 

 

TATSU ARE YOU OKAY?

KOICHI! WHERE’S KOU! YUKKE GET KOU!

 

                        TAKA, HELP KOU!

SATO HELP ME! DAMMIT YOU ASSHOLE!

 

KYO STOP! YOU’LL KILL HIM!

                        THAT’S WHAT I’M TRYING TO DO!

                                                            DIE YOU’RE BLEEDING!

SHIT! WHERE?

                        FUCKING MONSTER ASSHOLE!

                                    KYO STOP!

 

THE COPS ARE HERE…SOMEONE GET KYO OFF HIM!!!

 

            The total chaos of the scene was overwhelming, crying, screaming, people running everywhere. “Shinya! I need Tatsu! TATSU! PLEASE TAKA! Koichi is beyond hysterical, he struggles to get to Tatsu. Miya, Sato and Yukke are on the ground with Tatsu, who is writhing in pain, clutching his shoulder.

            “Mother fucker!! Miya, where’s Kou? Is he okay? Where is he?”  Miya looks over at Shinya, “Shin’s with him, so is Taka, he’s just scared.” Paramedics run up to Tatsu, the others back away, letting them do their work. The police have Morrie handcuffed, although he is unconscious from Kyo’s beating.

            “Kyo! You almost killed him!” Toshiya was holding a towel to Kyo’s side, Morrie had sliced both him and Die. “Well, if you wouldn’t have pulled me off, I could have finished.” Die was sitting on the curb, a blood- soaked towel on his thigh. “Shit, I’ve never been stabbed before, this shit is starting to hurt.”

            As the injured were loaded into ambulances, the police started taking statements. Shinya, Kai and Taka get Koichi into a car and take the hysterical young man to the hospital. Without any hesitation, everyone involved with this attack, went to the waiting room they had been using since Koichi’s attack, almost 18 months earlier. Yukke and Kaoru were both on the phone, Miya and Sato had gone into the ER with Tatsu. Toshiya was with Kyo and Die. Shinya, Taka and Ruki were with Koichi, who had been given a sedative by the doctor. Koichi was quiet, but still crying. Kai was on the phone with Reita and Uruha,

            _“No, he’s in surgery, it’s not serious. Yes, I know. Kou is sedated, he’s with Shin and Ruki. I’d say come home tomorrow, nothing really you can do here tonight. I will, thanks guys.”_

            “What the fuck just happened?” Was the question everyone had. Nobody answered, still shook up, the adrenaline just now slowing. Shinya was rocking Koichi, murmuring to him, Taka was sitting on the floor, face hidden in his knees. For the next two hours, everyone was silent, sitting with blank expressions, trying to process what had happened.

            The first to return where Kyo and Die, coming in with Toshiya. Die, wearing scrub pants, was on crutches, Kyo in a hospital gown, they had requested the items, rather than have to wear bloody clothing. Kyo walked straight to Koichi and Shinya, “Kou-kun, look at me.” Koichi looked up with glazed over eyes, “Hey, I saw Tatsu, he’s okay. They are taking him to surgery.” Koichi started to hyperventilate, “NO! Don’t do that! It’s nothing serious! I promise! He has a muscle that was cut, nothing serious, okay?” Koichi looked up at Kyo, a tiny smile on his face, “Kyo?” he whispered, “I think I’ll stay with Tatsu…you can’t have me, okay?” Tears filled his eyes, and he leaned his head, on Shinya’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Kou. I’ll find my own cute boy, you belong with Tatsu.”

            Kaoru was talking with Die, “So what happened? I didn’t see Morrie at all.” Die was sitting in a chair, “I didn’t see him either. I heard when he hit Tatsu, like a thump, then Tatsu screamed, I came around from behind the car, and some guy was top of Tatsu, swinging a knife at him. That’s when I screamed for Kyo and I tackled Morrie, pushing him off Tatsu. Kyo walked over, “All I heard was Tatsu scream, then Die screaming for me. I don’t even remember being cut.” As Kaoru was speaking with Die and Kyo, Sato and Miya had come into the room, searching for their boyfriends. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” Shinya was shaken. “I’m fine, this is Tatsu’s blood, not mine.” Looking at Koichi, Miya squatted down in front of him. “Kou, hey are you okay? Tatsu’s going to be fine. He told me to tell you that he loves you, and expects to see his adorable Kou in the morning. He wants you to stay with me and Shin. We’ll bring you over, first thing in the morning, okay?” Koichi nodded, closed his eyes and put his head back on Shinya’s shoulder. Miya reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small bottle, “More sedatives.” He whispered to Shinya.

            “Pet? Are you okay?” Taka looked up at Sato. “Is he really going to be okay? Tatsu?” Sato nodded, “He has a fairly deep cut into a muscle in his shoulder, so they have to do surgery to repair it. It’s nothing real serious.” The others had heard Sato, thankful that Tatsu was not hurt seriously. “Did you see what happened, Sato? Miya?” Kaoru was still trying to piece together the event. “I just heard the thump, then Tatsu screaming,” Sato nodded. “I was talking to Miya, same thing, a thump then the scream. I didn’t know it was Morrie until Kyo and Die were on him.” It all seemed so strange, nobody seeing Morrie until he had already stabbed Tatsu.

            Yukke had just gotten off the phone, and turned to the group. “Because it’s so late, and with Tatsu in surgery, Aoyama and Fujioka will wait until tomorrow for interviews, he would like to meet at Miya’s, since that’s where Koichi will be. It won’t be until around 3pm, if that works for you, Miya.” Miya nodded, “We want to bring Koichi to see Tatsu first thing in the morning, so 3pm works.” Everyone was exhausted, Kyo and Die were both in need of pain meds and rides home. They all agreed to meet at Miya’s the next day.  

 

 

**Epilogue**

 

            “It’s done then. Fifty years is a long time, he’ll be in his eighties before he comes up for parole.” Koichi was sitting on Tatsu’s lap. “He won’t last that long, I’m sure of that.” Tatsu nuzzled Koichi’s neck, breathing in the sweet scent of his boy. It had been six months since Morrie attacked Tatsu, six months of interviews, a trial, enormous stress but as of that day, it was over, with Morrie sentenced to fifty years in prison.

            “Koichi, have you seen Kyo?” DCR was hosting a small private party at the HBG, in celebration of the end of the trial. “Um…I think he’s with Die, getting another drink. You’re not dating Kyo, are you Ruki?”

            “Pfft, no, but I still want to rid…” Tatsu held up his hand before Ruki could finish. “Ruki! I don’t need to know what you want to do with Kyo!” Ruki stuck his tongue out, then walked off to search for Kyo. “Ruki rampage tonight? I hope so, we all could use a laugh.”  Taka and Sato had come up to the table at the tail end of the conversation. “I don’t think so, but it doesn’t take much to set him off”, snickered Koichi.

            Miya and Yukke joined the others at the table. “Where’s Shin and Kai?” Sato looked around. “Kai is trying to keep Ruki off Kyo, seems like Ruki wants something, and Shinya is playing referee.” Koichi giggled, “Ruki probably wants Kyo to whip it out again.” Yukke raised an eyebrow, “Ohh…again? Ruki’s already seen it?” Tatsu groaned, “Can we not have this conversation? I don’t need to know details.” As the members of Mucc, Taka and Koichi sat, watching their friends, they all seemed to be feeling nostalgic.

            “This place is pretty special, isn’t it?” sighed Taka. “If it wasn’t for Miya’s love of High Balls, we all wouldn’t be sitting here.” Tatsu looked over at Miya. “You, the Niconico event, all of it.” Taka nudged Koichi, “If you want to go even further, it all due to those two girls on the train, remember?” Koichi nodded, “What’s this? Two girls on a train?” Tatsu didn’t know this part of their story.

            “Yep, on the train, into work. I heard two girls talking about how great Mucc was, and how fucking hot their singer was. Although to be fair, they also talked about Yukke, Miya and Sato being super hot too.” This surprised the others, “But what got me interested is what they said about the music, that they style was all over the place.” Miya smiled, “That’s good to know, not all our fans like when we change directions.” Koichi nodded, “So, that’s how I started to watch the videos, and um…well, you know the end of that story.” Koichi was blushing, Only Taka and Tatsu knew why.

            Miya leaned back in his chair, looking up at Tokyo Tower.

            “It’s clear tonight, you can see the top.” They all looked up, each one in their own thoughts. Where they had started, where it had taken them, and what lay ahead for all.

 

END!

 Tokyo Tower Highball Garden. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you have it. It's done. Maybe.  
> I worked hard on this, a lot of self doubt. Some of the issues in this story reflect my own life. Just hope you all liked it.


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